I know, right...here I go again...stuff that's not my deal...but this is too good...I have to share!
Let's talk St. Elmo's Fire sequel ideas!
When last we saw Billy Hicks, he was off to the Big Apple to seek his fortune:
Let's talk St. Elmo's Fire sequel ideas!
When last we saw Billy Hicks, he was off to the Big Apple to seek his fortune:
Now, Rob Lowe has said he thinks that when Billy got to New York, the height of his saxophone career was getting the gig on Billy Ocean's "Caribbean Queen." I love that!
But maybe it would be campier and more fun if he'd been a protege of Kenny G.
See, now my wheels of silliness are spinning. I'm imagining in this sequel, a flashback sequence, in which Rob's character is remembering his time in NYC with Kenny G. It involves copious amounts of drugs, because: musicians. I mean, according to Hollywood, like ALL musicians are like, major drug addicts. I keep thinking about The Man With the Golden Arm. Which I've never seen. Isn't that Frank Sinatra? Doesn't he play a musician who's a drug addict? Yeah, heroin. But let's keep this silly for now.
Since we don't want to imply that Mr. G was an actual drug addict, let's call the character "Ronnie Z." Ronnie Z. had scaled the heights of flugelhornmania by 1986, when Billy hits The Big Apple. Ronnie's hit song "It's Givin' Me Good Vibes" is still burning up the charts. Think Chuck Mangione:
Since we don't want to imply that Mr. G was an actual drug addict, let's call the character "Ronnie Z." Ronnie Z. had scaled the heights of flugelhornmania by 1986, when Billy hits The Big Apple. Ronnie's hit song "It's Givin' Me Good Vibes" is still burning up the charts. Think Chuck Mangione:
So, Billy meets Ronnie in a little jazz bar in the Village and sits in on one of his sets; or whatever it is horn players do.
Ronnie is so wowed by Billy, he immediately starts developing an all jazz Broadway show called Major Vibes. While they burn the midnight oil, answering the muses in the wee hours, Ronnie turns Billy on to what he calls "Muse Juice."
We never find out exactly what Muse Juice is though. I mean, we don't want to nail this down to one particular substance. Like we never see Ronnie prepare Muse Juice full screen. It happens in the shadows. But Muse Juice is a gateway drug. Muse Juice leads to "Jazz Sprinkles" which are not snorted but placed in the ear canal. Jazz Sprinkles lead to "Toot-toots" which apparently come in suppository form and then by the time Ronnie starts doing eyedrops he calls "Get Down Drops," Billy bails. That is after he hits rock bottom and gets sober. But Billy's time in NYC could be a whole other movie.
The upshot is that Billy hit New York but his hopes were dashed due to substance abuse. Major Vibes never happened. Billy returns to his wife and child in D.C. and when we see him at the beginning of St. Elmo's Fire 2: Still Burning, he is a happy suburban dad who owns the St. Elmo's bar which now features Easy Jazz music, wherein he occasionally sits in on a gig. He's kind of the neighborhood Godfather, but without the contract killing and Italian food. He's the go to guy for sage advice and life-lesson-shepherding and so on and so forth. Which is why Mare Winningham shows up at St. Elmo's one day. She drops a bomb on Billy: he has a son who is now 40 years old that he didn't know about. And she's his mother. The 40 year old's, not Rob's.
Ronnie is so wowed by Billy, he immediately starts developing an all jazz Broadway show called Major Vibes. While they burn the midnight oil, answering the muses in the wee hours, Ronnie turns Billy on to what he calls "Muse Juice."
We never find out exactly what Muse Juice is though. I mean, we don't want to nail this down to one particular substance. Like we never see Ronnie prepare Muse Juice full screen. It happens in the shadows. But Muse Juice is a gateway drug. Muse Juice leads to "Jazz Sprinkles" which are not snorted but placed in the ear canal. Jazz Sprinkles lead to "Toot-toots" which apparently come in suppository form and then by the time Ronnie starts doing eyedrops he calls "Get Down Drops," Billy bails. That is after he hits rock bottom and gets sober. But Billy's time in NYC could be a whole other movie.
The upshot is that Billy hit New York but his hopes were dashed due to substance abuse. Major Vibes never happened. Billy returns to his wife and child in D.C. and when we see him at the beginning of St. Elmo's Fire 2: Still Burning, he is a happy suburban dad who owns the St. Elmo's bar which now features Easy Jazz music, wherein he occasionally sits in on a gig. He's kind of the neighborhood Godfather, but without the contract killing and Italian food. He's the go to guy for sage advice and life-lesson-shepherding and so on and so forth. Which is why Mare Winningham shows up at St. Elmo's one day. She drops a bomb on Billy: he has a son who is now 40 years old that he didn't know about. And she's his mother. The 40 year old's, not Rob's.
I just realized "Ronnie Z." is a character from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Let's go with it, man! It freaks me out!!!
Theo James is just the right age to play Rob's illegitimate son! Sagittarian bonus! Let's take a look:
Well, that was 8 years ago, but you now what I'm saying. And how about that interviewer? I LOVE HIM. He somehow makes the interview as much about his extraness as it is about Theo's handsomeness.
Okay, now, I do want the 40 year-old son part in this; as, I suppose, a sequel to St. Elmo's Fire is going to be a serious affair. A DRAMA, as it were. I mean, the original was a "drama," was it not? Or was it? I'm not sure...because it's not particularly dramatic; nor is it particularly comedic. It just kind of is. Let's be frank, shall we? Why was this movie a hit. Why is it fondly remembered? It's a character driven movie; but the CHARACTERS are all thoroughly unlikeable. Like, THOROUGHLY. The actors, however, are not. They do their best to not be; but fail. And that's a good thing? Let's go with yes! I mean is the movie camp? No, not really. It's not bad enough to be camp. And it's not good enough to be good...so what makes it work? I'm not sure. It's kind of like an ABC Afterschool Special; a solid yet stolid morality tale that you watch like you might an accident of some kind. Like maybe not as dramatic as a car accident; but perhaps someone falling off a ladder? Or, a playground contretemps that results in skinned knees? A sort of "don't let this happen to you" public service movie?
THAT'S IT!
It's a 50's educational film made during the 80's without the condescending narration. But if you put the patronizing narration in, it would seem perfectly at home.
Okay, now, I do want the 40 year-old son part in this; as, I suppose, a sequel to St. Elmo's Fire is going to be a serious affair. A DRAMA, as it were. I mean, the original was a "drama," was it not? Or was it? I'm not sure...because it's not particularly dramatic; nor is it particularly comedic. It just kind of is. Let's be frank, shall we? Why was this movie a hit. Why is it fondly remembered? It's a character driven movie; but the CHARACTERS are all thoroughly unlikeable. Like, THOROUGHLY. The actors, however, are not. They do their best to not be; but fail. And that's a good thing? Let's go with yes! I mean is the movie camp? No, not really. It's not bad enough to be camp. And it's not good enough to be good...so what makes it work? I'm not sure. It's kind of like an ABC Afterschool Special; a solid yet stolid morality tale that you watch like you might an accident of some kind. Like maybe not as dramatic as a car accident; but perhaps someone falling off a ladder? Or, a playground contretemps that results in skinned knees? A sort of "don't let this happen to you" public service movie?
THAT'S IT!
It's a 50's educational film made during the 80's without the condescending narration. But if you put the patronizing narration in, it would seem perfectly at home.
But wait a second...was there actually patronizing narration in St. Elmo's Fire? I'm not sure. I guess I'll have to (God help me) watch it again. But there's definitely narration in the trailer. Well, if not "patronizing" then treacly. Check it out!
The narration is supplied by Ally Sheedy. Why her? Why not the NARRATOR who comes on at the end? And why doesn't he narrate from the start? And if not the Narrator then why not Andrew McCarthy, who plays "Kevein Dolenz" the writer/journalist who is arguably the one whose eyes were seeing all of this through? Ally Sheedy's odd, Valley Girlesque delivery is so lacking in the gravitas they're going for, you can't help but giggle. I wonder if she like narrated the entire first cut of the movie and then it was scrapped or something. Oh, wouldn't it be AWESOME to watch that version! Maybe Ally could narrate the upcoming sequel? How fantastic would that be? Full disclosure, I generally detest narration. Why? It's lazy. I'm smart enough to figure out what's happening in a movie or TV show. I don't need to be told how to feel by a disembodied voice. No thanks Morgan Freeman, Daniel Stern and Patton Oswalt; I'm good. Actually, though, Rob Lowe narrates throughout The Hotel New Hampshire and remarkably lends that picture some depth. He has an earnestness. I'm not saying it can't work. But here, overall, of course, I'm being silly and comedic...
CONTEMPORARY COMEDIC ACCEPTABILITY ABSTRACT:
Earlier in this essay, I "poked fun" at drug addiction. I think we need to examine this. Is it okay in late 2024 to "make fun" of drug abuse/addiction/use etc?
There is, of course, a long comedic tradition of the "drunk" as comedic character/archetype. Well, there was until at least Arthur 2: On the Rocks. But heck, that movie was 35(!) years ago. Let's take a look!
CONTEMPORARY COMEDIC ACCEPTABILITY ABSTRACT:
Earlier in this essay, I "poked fun" at drug addiction. I think we need to examine this. Is it okay in late 2024 to "make fun" of drug abuse/addiction/use etc?
There is, of course, a long comedic tradition of the "drunk" as comedic character/archetype. Well, there was until at least Arthur 2: On the Rocks. But heck, that movie was 35(!) years ago. Let's take a look!
I was never really into the whole Dudley Moore thing; but I get it. Even when he was doing the whole "sot" bit, I think it was a little long in the tooth. Intravenous drug use has never been funny and never will, so that's out. Cocaine? I guess that has some comedic possibilties, what with the hyperactivity angle. And of course, the hypoactivity angle afforded by pain killers. Crack, meth, speed...ah, what those drugs do to the human visage can only be good for a cruel, gallows laugh. I guess the classic pothead/stoner dude-dudette comedy is okay. And now that pot is sort of the new booze, I guess it's put Arthur and his ilk out of work. How about a reboot of Arthur where he's a pothead. Liza Minnelli could play his enabler. What adorable, cuddly Brit could play him...hmmmm...how about that adorable Limey rascal Ricky Gervais? Or we could cast against type with say...Robert Pattinson, perhaps? Like most Brits, he has God-given range as an actor. Has he done comedy?
ARTHUR REBOOT ASIDE:
So, Robert Pattinson is now playing "Arthur." He lives in a gigantic estate in the British countryside with his grandmother, Liza Minnelli. He also has a massive apartment in London. His manservant is going to be played by, oh, Patrick Stewart! Patrick is proven funny. One fine day, Robert/Arthur is in Harrod's being fitted for a bespoke suit when...Emily Blunt is busted by security for stealing a can of caviar. She runs through the store and bursts into Arthur/Robert's dressing room and attempts to hide under some fabric samples. Arthur, is of course tipsy (oh, I mean "baked"), so he happily helps Emily by disgusing her as a man (just go with it). They end up in a dinghy on the Thames and caught between the moon and New York--err--London Proper. It's a jolly smashing meet-cute; and the movie proceeds from there. Whadda ya think? Oh and we could do a remake of the theme song: "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)." You'd only have to change "New York City" to "London Proper." Adele or Taylor Swift or JLo or Lizzo could take the baton from Christopher Cross. Or better yet...a DUET!!!
ARTHUR REBOOT ASIDE:
So, Robert Pattinson is now playing "Arthur." He lives in a gigantic estate in the British countryside with his grandmother, Liza Minnelli. He also has a massive apartment in London. His manservant is going to be played by, oh, Patrick Stewart! Patrick is proven funny. One fine day, Robert/Arthur is in Harrod's being fitted for a bespoke suit when...Emily Blunt is busted by security for stealing a can of caviar. She runs through the store and bursts into Arthur/Robert's dressing room and attempts to hide under some fabric samples. Arthur, is of course tipsy (oh, I mean "baked"), so he happily helps Emily by disgusing her as a man (just go with it). They end up in a dinghy on the Thames and caught between the moon and New York--err--London Proper. It's a jolly smashing meet-cute; and the movie proceeds from there. Whadda ya think? Oh and we could do a remake of the theme song: "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)." You'd only have to change "New York City" to "London Proper." Adele or Taylor Swift or JLo or Lizzo could take the baton from Christopher Cross. Or better yet...a DUET!!!
Please see: ST. ELMO'S FIRE 2: DISCO INFERNO for second part!
CFR 10/31/24
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