AMY POEHLER
Hello?
CHRIS REIDY
Oh, thank God Amy, you picked up!
AMY POEHLER
How did you get this number?
CHRIS REIDY
Tina gave it to me.
AP
Tina who?
CR
Listen, I lost my invite to the SNL 50th soiree; you gotta spot me a couple tix.
AP
Tina WHO?
CR
Louise! Get over it. I got your number, baby! Now talk to me Aims!
Hello?
CHRIS REIDY
Oh, thank God Amy, you picked up!
AMY POEHLER
How did you get this number?
CHRIS REIDY
Tina gave it to me.
AP
Tina who?
CR
Listen, I lost my invite to the SNL 50th soiree; you gotta spot me a couple tix.
AP
Tina WHO?
CR
Louise! Get over it. I got your number, baby! Now talk to me Aims!
AP
Don't call me that!
CR
Come on, you owe me one!
AP
How?
CR
Masshole-pact. I'm calling in my chit.
AP
What the frig are you talking about?
CR
You were in this SNL sketch that I had to watch and your "Boston" accent was--well, let's just say Jimmy Fallon's was better than yours and Rachel Dratch's combined. And he's from New York.
AP
Yeah, so?
CR
You and Rachel are both from Massachusetts. So, actually, she owes me too.
AP
Owes you what?
CR
An apology. For perpetrating grossly negligent and highly inaccurate Massachusetts stereotypes. And that's what we're going to talk about...after you get me those tickets and we watch this sketch--
AP
Wait a--
SMASH CUT TO:
Don't call me that!
CR
Come on, you owe me one!
AP
How?
CR
Masshole-pact. I'm calling in my chit.
AP
What the frig are you talking about?
CR
You were in this SNL sketch that I had to watch and your "Boston" accent was--well, let's just say Jimmy Fallon's was better than yours and Rachel Dratch's combined. And he's from New York.
AP
Yeah, so?
CR
You and Rachel are both from Massachusetts. So, actually, she owes me too.
AP
Owes you what?
CR
An apology. For perpetrating grossly negligent and highly inaccurate Massachusetts stereotypes. And that's what we're going to talk about...after you get me those tickets and we watch this sketch--
AP
Wait a--
SMASH CUT TO:
CR
Actually, Tina Fey's accent was better than everyone's; and she's from freakin' Philly.
AP
Yeah, whatever. Okay, I'll make a deal, 'cuz I kinda get the Masshole-pact. I'll listen to what you have to say; but there's no way I can get you tickets to the 50th gig. Lorne lords over those things like the freakin' dragon from the Hobbits. Or Willy Wonka. I couldn't even get a "plus one." Neither could Tina. We both got "plus halfs" so we had to combine in order to take her husband.
CR
What about your ex-husband?
AP
What about him?
CR
Is he available...?
AP
Available for what?
CR
...you know...
AP
No, I'm sure I don't.
CR
Canadian stuff....you know...poutine and hockey and warm maple syrup drippin' all down a big ole' stack o' cakes and gravelly-voiced voice-overs; like when he does those Reese's commercials my chocolate melts in my hand, not in my mouth.
AP
What?
CR
He can get his peanut butter in my chocolate any day!
AP
You are out of--
SMASH CUT TO:
Actually, Tina Fey's accent was better than everyone's; and she's from freakin' Philly.
AP
Yeah, whatever. Okay, I'll make a deal, 'cuz I kinda get the Masshole-pact. I'll listen to what you have to say; but there's no way I can get you tickets to the 50th gig. Lorne lords over those things like the freakin' dragon from the Hobbits. Or Willy Wonka. I couldn't even get a "plus one." Neither could Tina. We both got "plus halfs" so we had to combine in order to take her husband.
CR
What about your ex-husband?
AP
What about him?
CR
Is he available...?
AP
Available for what?
CR
...you know...
AP
No, I'm sure I don't.
CR
Canadian stuff....you know...poutine and hockey and warm maple syrup drippin' all down a big ole' stack o' cakes and gravelly-voiced voice-overs; like when he does those Reese's commercials my chocolate melts in my hand, not in my mouth.
AP
What?
CR
He can get his peanut butter in my chocolate any day!
AP
You are out of--
SMASH CUT TO:
CR
See, now I must apologize. My assessment of your ex-husband is completely based on STEREOTYPES of Canadians.
AP
He is a big hockey fan. The Toronto Maple Leafs.
CR
Okay, well, I'm sure he has all his teeth. And is probably extremely impolite. And now it's time for a song break!
AP
NO! Now this is getting entirely--
SMASH CUT TO:
See, now I must apologize. My assessment of your ex-husband is completely based on STEREOTYPES of Canadians.
AP
He is a big hockey fan. The Toronto Maple Leafs.
CR
Okay, well, I'm sure he has all his teeth. And is probably extremely impolite. And now it's time for a song break!
AP
NO! Now this is getting entirely--
SMASH CUT TO:
CR
That's hot.
AP
Who are you, Paris Hilton? What's hot?
CR
The men of Pure Prairie League! Didn't you want to like, do them all, back in the day?
That's hot.
AP
Who are you, Paris Hilton? What's hot?
CR
The men of Pure Prairie League! Didn't you want to like, do them all, back in the day?
AP
I was three years-old, so no.
CR
Don't you wanna do them all now, in this day?
I was three years-old, so no.
CR
Don't you wanna do them all now, in this day?
AP
Do you know what I want to do?
CR
No, what?
AP
I do not want to talk to you about who I want to do. And I'm about to hang up if you don't get to the point. You do understand, don't you?
CR
Yes, indeedy-do. So, I wanted to talk to you about stereotyping, particularly in the realm of advertising and specifically in the case of this recent Squarspace Super Bowl commrecial that was based on the movie The Banshees of Inisherin; presumably, because it seems the people behind it are taking great pains not to reference the movie. By it's title anyways. And maybe commercials in general, like this phone ad you did:
Do you know what I want to do?
CR
No, what?
AP
I do not want to talk to you about who I want to do. And I'm about to hang up if you don't get to the point. You do understand, don't you?
CR
Yes, indeedy-do. So, I wanted to talk to you about stereotyping, particularly in the realm of advertising and specifically in the case of this recent Squarspace Super Bowl commrecial that was based on the movie The Banshees of Inisherin; presumably, because it seems the people behind it are taking great pains not to reference the movie. By it's title anyways. And maybe commercials in general, like this phone ad you did:
AP
That's a TV remote.
CR
Oh, my bad! Hey wasn't that a Super Bowl commercial?
AP
Maybe. From 2013.
CR
Let's take a look!
AP
Must--
SMASH CUT TO:
That's a TV remote.
CR
Oh, my bad! Hey wasn't that a Super Bowl commercial?
AP
Maybe. From 2013.
CR
Let's take a look!
AP
Must--
SMASH CUT TO:
CR
See, now this is really interesting to me. You are clearly sexually harassing that poor young man by asking him about his comfort levels about the word "dongle," and asking him to read a lame porno novel to you. Now if it was the other way around, we'd never have heard the end of it. Of course, that was three years before "Hashtag: MeToo." And it was also a good eleven years before Tina Fey did her first SuperB-commersh. So you beat her by a decade. Good on ya, Aims!
AP
Well, ya know...who's keeping score?
CR
And poor Tina got replaced by Miss Piggy this year. There's an SNL sketch in there somewhere!
AP
Not if Tina has anything to say about it...
CR
Let's take a look!
See, now this is really interesting to me. You are clearly sexually harassing that poor young man by asking him about his comfort levels about the word "dongle," and asking him to read a lame porno novel to you. Now if it was the other way around, we'd never have heard the end of it. Of course, that was three years before "Hashtag: MeToo." And it was also a good eleven years before Tina Fey did her first SuperB-commersh. So you beat her by a decade. Good on ya, Aims!
AP
Well, ya know...who's keeping score?
CR
And poor Tina got replaced by Miss Piggy this year. There's an SNL sketch in there somewhere!
AP
Not if Tina has anything to say about it...
CR
Let's take a look!
AP
Why are we talking about commercials?
CR
Why shouldn't we? You're in about as many commercials as you are programming. I mean you famous people are all like total sluts when it comes to this.
AP
HOW DARE YOU!
CR
Hey, don't get your knickers in a wad. I'm a slut too! I would like totally be the filling in a Pure Prairie League sandwich; slather me in Hellman's baby; and yes, I'll have what she's having!
AP
Look, we all gotta butter our bread--
CR
And now, a word from our sponsor: Chiffon Margarine. "If you think it's butter; but it's not: It's Chiffon!"
Why are we talking about commercials?
CR
Why shouldn't we? You're in about as many commercials as you are programming. I mean you famous people are all like total sluts when it comes to this.
AP
HOW DARE YOU!
CR
Hey, don't get your knickers in a wad. I'm a slut too! I would like totally be the filling in a Pure Prairie League sandwich; slather me in Hellman's baby; and yes, I'll have what she's having!
AP
Look, we all gotta butter our bread--
CR
And now, a word from our sponsor: Chiffon Margarine. "If you think it's butter; but it's not: It's Chiffon!"
AP
Look, do you think I want to do commercials? The whole paradigm has changed. Nowadays, they want you to sign up for the commercials before they'll negotiate the actual work.
CR
Yeah, I get it Amy. But that doesn't really make it any less crass that SNL is now actually producing legit commercials using sketches and characters from it's supposedly satirical show.
AP
It's all come full circle. It shows how far we've come.
CR
Or fallen.
AP
Oh, aren't you all high and mighty. You've done commercials.
CR
Yeah, but I'm not rich or famous. I was just doing it the old fashioned way. Don't even get me started on product placement. We're even getting fucking products placed inside other commercials. I wonder what David Lynch thought.
(Smash cut gag retired)
Look, do you think I want to do commercials? The whole paradigm has changed. Nowadays, they want you to sign up for the commercials before they'll negotiate the actual work.
CR
Yeah, I get it Amy. But that doesn't really make it any less crass that SNL is now actually producing legit commercials using sketches and characters from it's supposedly satirical show.
AP
It's all come full circle. It shows how far we've come.
CR
Or fallen.
AP
Oh, aren't you all high and mighty. You've done commercials.
CR
Yeah, but I'm not rich or famous. I was just doing it the old fashioned way. Don't even get me started on product placement. We're even getting fucking products placed inside other commercials. I wonder what David Lynch thought.
(Smash cut gag retired)
CR
Like explain this to me Aims. FOX has aired like three new episodes of The Simpsons this season and yet expects me to pretend they're still creating new programming and sit through three times as many commercials. How does that work? Maybe take a smaller paycheck Mr. President of DizzneyCo. Like, I dont' find What Would You Do? actual TV programming. Or Ameican Idol. Or The Fucking Golden Bachelorette.
AP
Look, I've got to get ready for the 50th thing. Get to the point of this Irish commercial already...
CR
Right, so, in my research, I've found that you're more or less an Irish Catholic girl; like me, an Irish Catholic boy. You went to Boston College. So did my dad! Go Eagles! You're from Burlington, Massachusetts.
AP
Yeah. I know.
CR
Come with me Amy. Come with me....back through the mists of time...back to your childhood...my teenhood...back...back...back to the Burlington Mall in 1984. The land of feathered hair and striped tube socks!
AP
Do I have to?
CR
YES!
Like explain this to me Aims. FOX has aired like three new episodes of The Simpsons this season and yet expects me to pretend they're still creating new programming and sit through three times as many commercials. How does that work? Maybe take a smaller paycheck Mr. President of DizzneyCo. Like, I dont' find What Would You Do? actual TV programming. Or Ameican Idol. Or The Fucking Golden Bachelorette.
AP
Look, I've got to get ready for the 50th thing. Get to the point of this Irish commercial already...
CR
Right, so, in my research, I've found that you're more or less an Irish Catholic girl; like me, an Irish Catholic boy. You went to Boston College. So did my dad! Go Eagles! You're from Burlington, Massachusetts.
AP
Yeah. I know.
CR
Come with me Amy. Come with me....back through the mists of time...back to your childhood...my teenhood...back...back...back to the Burlington Mall in 1984. The land of feathered hair and striped tube socks!
AP
Do I have to?
CR
YES!
AP
That was...fun?
CR
You know, speaking of stereotypes, my first thought when I watched that SNL "Boston Teens" video--well, first of all, those "teens" are not from Boston, they're from Lexington. I mean, I'm from Saugus, not Boston. So, when did "Boston" become a catchall term for anything from Massachusetts? I'm sure that doesn't sit well with the fine folks out in Pittsfield! Yeah, so, I was thinking...would Lexington really have skanks like that running around their high school? And I assumed Lexington was on the tony side. Like, monied. Not that monied people can't be skanky, as we all know first hand nowadays. So, I looked up Lexington and Lexington High School...
That was...fun?
CR
You know, speaking of stereotypes, my first thought when I watched that SNL "Boston Teens" video--well, first of all, those "teens" are not from Boston, they're from Lexington. I mean, I'm from Saugus, not Boston. So, when did "Boston" become a catchall term for anything from Massachusetts? I'm sure that doesn't sit well with the fine folks out in Pittsfield! Yeah, so, I was thinking...would Lexington really have skanks like that running around their high school? And I assumed Lexington was on the tony side. Like, monied. Not that monied people can't be skanky, as we all know first hand nowadays. So, I looked up Lexington and Lexington High School...
Now, I don't know who wrote the sketch; and by the way, shouldn't sketch writers get credits, like at least at the end of the show? If I was a sketch writer, I'd be arbitrating for that. I'm guessing Rachel Dratch, who was in the sketch and is from Lexington, had a hand in it. And she went to Dartmouth...
AP
So, what are you saying?
CR
I'm saying that Rachel Dratch was more than likely light-years away from being the kind of girl she's playing; so isn't that kind of a cultural appropriation? A sort of looking down one's nose at people of a lesser socio-economic position than oneself?
AP
You're making complete assumptions.
CR
Then as someone from Massachusetts, would you not agree that everyone in the sketch is a misinterpretation on a general level of people from Massachusetts? Except maybe Gwyneth Pawltrow, who couldn't play a blue-collar skank the right way if her life depended on it?
AP
I would say it's not a "misrepresentation."
CR
Would you say it's a stereotype?
AP
Ahhh...yes.
CR
So, stereotypes are okay to play in comedy?
AP
You've backed me into a corner!
CR
Well, let's change the subject, then. I understand you're into the Enneagram.
AP
Maybe...
CR
I'm a "9"!
AP
Oh, "The Peacemaker"?
CR
No. My dongle. It's nine inches!
AP
Tables turned, Sir. Tables turned. Well played.
CR
I kid. Yes. "The Peacemaker" or as it used to be called, "The Mediator." The names seem to change from one chart to the next.
AP
So, what are you saying?
CR
I'm saying that Rachel Dratch was more than likely light-years away from being the kind of girl she's playing; so isn't that kind of a cultural appropriation? A sort of looking down one's nose at people of a lesser socio-economic position than oneself?
AP
You're making complete assumptions.
CR
Then as someone from Massachusetts, would you not agree that everyone in the sketch is a misinterpretation on a general level of people from Massachusetts? Except maybe Gwyneth Pawltrow, who couldn't play a blue-collar skank the right way if her life depended on it?
AP
I would say it's not a "misrepresentation."
CR
Would you say it's a stereotype?
AP
Ahhh...yes.
CR
So, stereotypes are okay to play in comedy?
AP
You've backed me into a corner!
CR
Well, let's change the subject, then. I understand you're into the Enneagram.
AP
Maybe...
CR
I'm a "9"!
AP
Oh, "The Peacemaker"?
CR
No. My dongle. It's nine inches!
AP
Tables turned, Sir. Tables turned. Well played.
CR
I kid. Yes. "The Peacemaker" or as it used to be called, "The Mediator." The names seem to change from one chart to the next.
I was first "turned on" to The Ennegram back in the late 80's(!) by my friend Bob "The Guru" Cooley. He's a self-described "7." Here he is, back in the day:
He's kinda-sorta famous now, He wrote a book and has a dedicated business:
AP
So, why are you shilling for him?
CR
I'm not getting paid. I just like to support people who were good to me during my life, if I can.
AP
Who are you, Mother Theresa?
CR
We should all be more like her. So, I thought the Ennegram was rather uncanny in it's depiction of, what I at least recognized as myself. What "Type" are you, Amy?
AP
Why should I tell you?
CR
I can just ask the Internet...oh, here it is...an "8"'; let's take a look! Here you are talking about the Ennegram starting at the 4.40ish mark:
So, why are you shilling for him?
CR
I'm not getting paid. I just like to support people who were good to me during my life, if I can.
AP
Who are you, Mother Theresa?
CR
We should all be more like her. So, I thought the Ennegram was rather uncanny in it's depiction of, what I at least recognized as myself. What "Type" are you, Amy?
AP
Why should I tell you?
CR
I can just ask the Internet...oh, here it is...an "8"'; let's take a look! Here you are talking about the Ennegram starting at the 4.40ish mark:
See, back in the day, day; we didn't have "tests" to figure out our type. We had to read the whole friggin' book: the OG tome by Helen Palmer.
AP
Great. You were the first. Let's all bow down.
CR
Now Amy, your inherent 8 Lucy VanPeltness is coming out. Let's keep this civil.
AP
Fair enough. So, the commercial about Ireland or whatever it is?
CR
It's a commercial set in rural Ireland that just makes the Irish seem like morons who literally enjoy dancing in mud and talking to donkeys.
AP
Seriously?
CR
Yes. Like, that's it. They can't even speak properly.
AP
Oh, come on. I'm sure it's adorable. We Irish can't help but be adorable.
CR
Barry Keoghan is the star of it.
AP
Oh. Okay. Maybe not. But I really do have to run now...
CR
Okay, well, I'll just write another blog about it. Thanks for not hanging up on me.
AP
You're welcome, I guess.
CR
Oh, one more thing.
AP
Make it fast.
CR
I've been to the Burlington Mall once in my life. In 1975. And I remember because I happened to be staying with cousins, as my parents and my dad's mother and father had gone to Ireland for a trip. And I remember being at the mall with my Auntie Kay.
AP
Okay...?
CR
What if you were there that day?
AP
Well, I would've been about three-years old...why would I have been there?
CR
Maybe one of your parents simply had to have the new Pure Prairie League album and they lugged you down there to get it!
Great. You were the first. Let's all bow down.
CR
Now Amy, your inherent 8 Lucy VanPeltness is coming out. Let's keep this civil.
AP
Fair enough. So, the commercial about Ireland or whatever it is?
CR
It's a commercial set in rural Ireland that just makes the Irish seem like morons who literally enjoy dancing in mud and talking to donkeys.
AP
Seriously?
CR
Yes. Like, that's it. They can't even speak properly.
AP
Oh, come on. I'm sure it's adorable. We Irish can't help but be adorable.
CR
Barry Keoghan is the star of it.
AP
Oh. Okay. Maybe not. But I really do have to run now...
CR
Okay, well, I'll just write another blog about it. Thanks for not hanging up on me.
AP
You're welcome, I guess.
CR
Oh, one more thing.
AP
Make it fast.
CR
I've been to the Burlington Mall once in my life. In 1975. And I remember because I happened to be staying with cousins, as my parents and my dad's mother and father had gone to Ireland for a trip. And I remember being at the mall with my Auntie Kay.
AP
Okay...?
CR
What if you were there that day?
AP
Well, I would've been about three-years old...why would I have been there?
CR
Maybe one of your parents simply had to have the new Pure Prairie League album and they lugged you down there to get it!
Or perhaps the 45. 'Memba buying 45's?
AP
Actually, I do.
CR
Good times. Okay, I'll let you go. Have fun and tell Tina I said "hi"! And I'll play you out on a song, how about that?
AP
Sure. Whatever.
CR
Ciao for now!
CLICK
Actually, I do.
CR
Good times. Okay, I'll let you go. Have fun and tell Tina I said "hi"! And I'll play you out on a song, how about that?
AP
Sure. Whatever.
CR
Ciao for now!
CLICK
CFR 2/16/25
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