WARNING: This blog contains adult themes and frank interpretations of sexual stuff. Viewer Discretion is Advised!
In this blog I'd like to talk about my own personal experiences with The Brat Pack and 80's teen movies, John Hughes, etc. Now, if we're talking about Molly Ringwald as a sort of Nexus Point for all of this; and I certainly am, because it was she that I gravitated to; most identified with--then we have to consider (or I have to consider) Sixteen Candles as the Nexus Point movie. Not, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which was arguably the best of all the 80's teen movies. It was certainly, I think, the most honest. The one that perhaps got closest to the teen experience, both in and out of high school. And I actually was in high school when Fast Times came out in 1982. Well, I was on summer break between my junior and senior year when it was released that August. And again, I did not see it at the theater; but rather when it ran all day, soon after, on cable. When Sixteen Candles was released in May of 1984, I was most definitely aware of it. You see, it starred Molly Ringwald who I had already become an ardent fan of via perhaps one of the more obscure avenues, one could, other than the first season of The Facts of Life. A movie called Tempest, which came out in 1982 and ran on cable for what seemed forever.
In this blog I'd like to talk about my own personal experiences with The Brat Pack and 80's teen movies, John Hughes, etc. Now, if we're talking about Molly Ringwald as a sort of Nexus Point for all of this; and I certainly am, because it was she that I gravitated to; most identified with--then we have to consider (or I have to consider) Sixteen Candles as the Nexus Point movie. Not, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which was arguably the best of all the 80's teen movies. It was certainly, I think, the most honest. The one that perhaps got closest to the teen experience, both in and out of high school. And I actually was in high school when Fast Times came out in 1982. Well, I was on summer break between my junior and senior year when it was released that August. And again, I did not see it at the theater; but rather when it ran all day, soon after, on cable. When Sixteen Candles was released in May of 1984, I was most definitely aware of it. You see, it starred Molly Ringwald who I had already become an ardent fan of via perhaps one of the more obscure avenues, one could, other than the first season of The Facts of Life. A movie called Tempest, which came out in 1982 and ran on cable for what seemed forever.
It also starred Susan Sarandon, another favorite and definite draw with that movie. You know, to this day, I don't think I've made it all the way through. I forget how it ends. But certain lines have stuck in my head. 'Frinstance: "...we've got goats! And rocks! And chickens!" and "Looney Tunes!!! You're loonie toonie, loonie toonie (starts singing it)": I forgot about this scene; but someone out there gets it:
Hey, John Casavettes may have been a pompous ass; but he knew talent when he saw it!
When Sixteen Candles came out in May of '84, as I've mentioned, I was aware and did want to see it; but I was a little busy that May. I was graduating from high school myself. And so were a lot of my friends. I was laying plans for my future, so going to the movies got pushed to the back burner. And that was a case where I didn't see the movie on cable every day, because it probably would've been on HBO that fall and I was busy commuting to college and working several jobs. I did, however, win a Sixteen Candles t-shirt at a bar trivia contest later that year. And I'm delighted to see a person can obtain one for a reasonable price at the mere click of a button!
When Sixteen Candles came out in May of '84, as I've mentioned, I was aware and did want to see it; but I was a little busy that May. I was graduating from high school myself. And so were a lot of my friends. I was laying plans for my future, so going to the movies got pushed to the back burner. And that was a case where I didn't see the movie on cable every day, because it probably would've been on HBO that fall and I was busy commuting to college and working several jobs. I did, however, win a Sixteen Candles t-shirt at a bar trivia contest later that year. And I'm delighted to see a person can obtain one for a reasonable price at the mere click of a button!
And I'm not happy to report that I never really wore the shirt. I was a freshman in college. Molly and Sixteen Candles was literally a little too sixteenish. A little too chick-flick. A little too high school. It also may have been a little too small. In any event, I cut the figures off the t-shirt and turned Molly into a pine-scented sachet. I'm not sure what happened to Anthony Michael Hall; but Michael Schoeffling remained in my possession and is now featured in what I call one of my "Fetish Books."
Mr. Schoeffling apparently walked away from the whole Hollywood thing before he could even be considered for The Brat Pack. I do recall him turning up in Longtime Companion as a promiscuous gay dude before he disappeared into the wilds of Pennsylvania to make furniture. And I respect that! Nowadays he's harder to pin down than Greta Garbo.
You may now be curious as to what a "Fetish Book" is. Well, I'll tell you. But first, let's talk about Bridgid Berlin and her "C**K BOOK"
Bridgid Berlin ak.a. Bridget Polk was a protege of Andy Warhol's and one of his Factory habitues. I think it was in the book Edie: An American Biography that I read about her and her "C*ck Book." Apparently it was a book in which she would make "prints" of men's genitals. No detail was given as to how this was achieved; but I did find this photo of what must be the book:
Now, as to whether or not that is a "print" of Jean Michel Basquiat's (I'm assuming) genitals or a doodle of male genitals in general; I do not know. But reading of this inspired me to create my own similar books. And I had no idea how similar they might be until I saw this photo today, which clearly shows the book contains collage work. My books are pure collage. There are no "prints" of actual male genitals within. There are photographs of male genitals and the pages do contain some fairly pornographic material; but keeping it lighthearted as well as erotic is what my goal with them is. They more came about as my habit of clipping and ripping images I find "arousing" in some way started to get out of control; so I decided to start slapping them into books. It's very random, but the end results are always revealing (at least to me) in some way. It's kind of an erotic Rorschach of my mind. Here is a random spread(!) from one of my books:
This may seem random and disconnected from The Brat Pack; but is it? Was not Molly Ringwald going to play Edie Sedgwick for Warren Beatty back in the day? I recall talk of that; perhaps an article in Interview magazine?
Why didn't they do her up as Edie? I think she would've been great; and there has still to be the definitive movie about her. Edie's voice was not what you would immediately expect; a challenge for any actress. But I think Molly could've nailed it! Let's take a listen!
In any event, I plan to make another Molly Ringwald pine scented sachet; and perhaps a Michael Schoeffling one. And oh, what the heck: Anthony Michael Hall too! Who knows, maybe I'll do a whole set of Breakfast Club sachets! I bet Emilio Estevez never dreamed he'd be freshening some dudes underwear drawer!
And now, I would like to look at some of the darker elements of the whole 80's/Teen/Brat Pack/John Hughes/Etc. Phenomenon. Rob Lowe, in 1984, was in another club. Let's call it "The Jail Bait Club." This club involved actors who were playing teens (and they might've been actual teens; but were probably in their early 20's playing teens) who found themselves in sexual entanglements with people who were much older than they. For Rob, it was The Hotel New Hampshire. In that movie, which was full of wildly inapporpriate teenage behavior; Rob "loses it" to a chambermaid, essayed by the late Anita Morris.
Perhaps a teen-age boy "losing it" to an older woman is/was not that uncommon. But in this movie, his siblings are along for the ride, actively helping him get laid. I don't know about you; but I barely talked to my siblings about such matters, let alone had them reconnoitering for me.
We'll get back to The Jail Bait Bunch in a second. I thought I should I mention that I also have "Female" Fetish Books (or one, anyways); you know, 'cuz what's good for the gander is good for the goose, right. The Lady Fetish Book, however, is decidedly more PG than X. PG-13, anyways. Let's take a look!
We'll get back to The Jail Bait Bunch in a second. I thought I should I mention that I also have "Female" Fetish Books (or one, anyways); you know, 'cuz what's good for the gander is good for the goose, right. The Lady Fetish Book, however, is decidedly more PG than X. PG-13, anyways. Let's take a look!
See, now I'm just noticing the interesting visual play of the four ladies on the right. This was not planned.
LIST OF 80'S FILMS FEATURING INAPPROPRIATE "ROMANTIC" LIASONS BETWEEN VERY YOUNG PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WAY OLDER THAN THEM OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD AND IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
The Hotel New Hampshire (1984)
Fast Times At Ridgemont Hight (1982)
The Breakfast Club (1985)
Private Lessons (1981)
My Tutor (1983)
Vacation (1983)
Pretty In Pink (1986)
Little Darlings (1980)
The Last American Virgin (1982)
Homework (1982)
Private Resort (1985)
Porky's (1981)
Not all of these relationships were consummated. For example, in Pretty In Pink, I'm thinking of the scene where Jon Cryer kisses Annie Potts. But in a lot of them, the relationships were consummated. Or, for example, you might say: "The Breakfast Club? Where was the inappropriate relationship in that one?" And I might mention Ally Sheedy's casual admittance that she "nailed" her "shrink." Was she lying? Does it matter? It was in the movie. Why was Mr. Vernon alone with John Bender in a broom closet; well past the perimeter of the boy's personal space, talking about his "dick"? But he was. This-- adults in the personal spaces of teenagers--was clearly a theme of the day. And we can't say it wasn't prurient. Which brings us to John Hughes.
LIST OF 80'S FILMS FEATURING INAPPROPRIATE "ROMANTIC" LIASONS BETWEEN VERY YOUNG PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WAY OLDER THAN THEM OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD AND IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
The Hotel New Hampshire (1984)
Fast Times At Ridgemont Hight (1982)
The Breakfast Club (1985)
Private Lessons (1981)
My Tutor (1983)
Vacation (1983)
Pretty In Pink (1986)
Little Darlings (1980)
The Last American Virgin (1982)
Homework (1982)
Private Resort (1985)
Porky's (1981)
Not all of these relationships were consummated. For example, in Pretty In Pink, I'm thinking of the scene where Jon Cryer kisses Annie Potts. But in a lot of them, the relationships were consummated. Or, for example, you might say: "The Breakfast Club? Where was the inappropriate relationship in that one?" And I might mention Ally Sheedy's casual admittance that she "nailed" her "shrink." Was she lying? Does it matter? It was in the movie. Why was Mr. Vernon alone with John Bender in a broom closet; well past the perimeter of the boy's personal space, talking about his "dick"? But he was. This-- adults in the personal spaces of teenagers--was clearly a theme of the day. And we can't say it wasn't prurient. Which brings us to John Hughes.
I don't know...
It kinda seems more like Mr. Vernon wants to get schtupped than engage in fisticuffs. Am I wrong? You know, I love John Hughes' oeuvre; but as I've watched them repeatedly over the years, I can't help but notice a LOT of glaring, Huh? moments. And there are a lot of them and they're...well...just flat out creepy. A lot having to do with inter-genarational sex and incest. I'm sorry to have to say this; but it's true. Shall we point some of them out? Well, we've come this far. There's no point in going back now. And look, I know John Hughes is no longer here and can't defend himself; but I welcome anyone with an opposing viewpoint/opinion/rebuttal to contact me or leave comments. I'm all about spirited debate!
How about in Vacation when Jane Krakowski, who was 14 at the time, talks about how her daddy says she's the best kisser? Or when Anthony Michael Hall's cousin invites him to "bop his baloney."? And then, in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when Ferris pretends to be Mia Sara's dad and picks her up at school and then French kisses her as the principal watches and makes a gross comment about incest? Or when Mia Sara comes on to Ferris' dad from a taxi? Or in The Breakfast Club when we get a shot of Molly Rigwald's panties from Judd Nelson's P.O.V. up her skirt; knowing that Molly protested this scene and then he went ahead and filmed it anyways with a what we can only call a "crotch double." Or the scene in Sixteeen Candles that was originally written to have Molly's father's character ask her why she wasn't wearing panties? Or when Molly's grandmother grabs her breasts. Or when Jake Ryan boasts he can "violate" his girlfriend any way or time he pleases? Or in Weird Science where we see a 24 year-old actress passionately kiss a 15 year-old boy? I mean, adults stood around and watched that being filmed. Or in Home Alone 2 when Kevin spies on his uncle in the shower and his uncle calls him a pervert? I mean, don't even get me started on the first two Home Alone movies, where two middle-aged men are obsessed with--and I'm not sure, but I think the word they use is "nail"--in nailing a little boy. Or biting his fingers off(!) in any event. I mean, what was going on John Hughes? I'll just leave it there; because if I go on, it won't be pretty (in pink, or otherwise); and my mama always said: "If you can't say anything nice..."
And full disclosure, my book 83 in the Shade features an inappropriate relationship between two under-age boys and an older man. But, in my defense (I hope), it is not played for casual "teen sex comedy" laffs.
Moving on!
In the post John Hughes teen-comedy movie landscape of the late 80's; "The Brat Pack" was finding themselves in a bit of a quandry. They were growing up. However, they were already "grown up" when they were in those movies. Most of them were in their 20's playing teens. Perhaps the only time they actually were the right age for their parts was in St. Elmo's Fire. But after that one, there were problems. Particularly for Judd Nelson. His first post Brat Pack solo flight, resting-squarely-on-his-shoulders-movie was called From the Hip. Let's take a look:
It kinda seems more like Mr. Vernon wants to get schtupped than engage in fisticuffs. Am I wrong? You know, I love John Hughes' oeuvre; but as I've watched them repeatedly over the years, I can't help but notice a LOT of glaring, Huh? moments. And there are a lot of them and they're...well...just flat out creepy. A lot having to do with inter-genarational sex and incest. I'm sorry to have to say this; but it's true. Shall we point some of them out? Well, we've come this far. There's no point in going back now. And look, I know John Hughes is no longer here and can't defend himself; but I welcome anyone with an opposing viewpoint/opinion/rebuttal to contact me or leave comments. I'm all about spirited debate!
How about in Vacation when Jane Krakowski, who was 14 at the time, talks about how her daddy says she's the best kisser? Or when Anthony Michael Hall's cousin invites him to "bop his baloney."? And then, in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when Ferris pretends to be Mia Sara's dad and picks her up at school and then French kisses her as the principal watches and makes a gross comment about incest? Or when Mia Sara comes on to Ferris' dad from a taxi? Or in The Breakfast Club when we get a shot of Molly Rigwald's panties from Judd Nelson's P.O.V. up her skirt; knowing that Molly protested this scene and then he went ahead and filmed it anyways with a what we can only call a "crotch double." Or the scene in Sixteeen Candles that was originally written to have Molly's father's character ask her why she wasn't wearing panties? Or when Molly's grandmother grabs her breasts. Or when Jake Ryan boasts he can "violate" his girlfriend any way or time he pleases? Or in Weird Science where we see a 24 year-old actress passionately kiss a 15 year-old boy? I mean, adults stood around and watched that being filmed. Or in Home Alone 2 when Kevin spies on his uncle in the shower and his uncle calls him a pervert? I mean, don't even get me started on the first two Home Alone movies, where two middle-aged men are obsessed with--and I'm not sure, but I think the word they use is "nail"--in nailing a little boy. Or biting his fingers off(!) in any event. I mean, what was going on John Hughes? I'll just leave it there; because if I go on, it won't be pretty (in pink, or otherwise); and my mama always said: "If you can't say anything nice..."
And full disclosure, my book 83 in the Shade features an inappropriate relationship between two under-age boys and an older man. But, in my defense (I hope), it is not played for casual "teen sex comedy" laffs.
Moving on!
In the post John Hughes teen-comedy movie landscape of the late 80's; "The Brat Pack" was finding themselves in a bit of a quandry. They were growing up. However, they were already "grown up" when they were in those movies. Most of them were in their 20's playing teens. Perhaps the only time they actually were the right age for their parts was in St. Elmo's Fire. But after that one, there were problems. Particularly for Judd Nelson. His first post Brat Pack solo flight, resting-squarely-on-his-shoulders-movie was called From the Hip. Let's take a look:
First mistake. Agreeing to play a character with a nick-name. Second mistake, that nick-name is "Stormy." Third mistake, that nick-name plays off your last name, "Weathers." Fourth mistake; playing into your "bad boy" persona. This was the point at which Judd needed to play a "nice guy." We'd already seen him play a raft of "street smart" "wise guys" and "bad boy" "smart alecks" and "drop out" "stoners." Now we had him playing yet another brash, "Young Turk." It was one "Young Turk" too many. But can you blame him? I mean, look at the pedigree in those credits! Or maybe not...
Yes, David E. Kelley; but before he was David E. Kelley. Bob Clark, the man who brought us at least three genre classics: A Christmas Story, Porky's and Black Christmas (taalk about eclectic!). The always dependable Elizabeth Perkins. Darren McGavin! Mr. Hand from Fast Times! Consummate actor's actor, John Hurt. I mean, I can see why Judd jumped at the chance; but Chance can be a fickle goddess; and From the Hip needed a hip replacement. Again, I saw this one on cable. It was not a pleasant film (let alone "funny"). It was agressively unpleasant, as you can rather glean from the opening scene in the trailer where "Stormy" rakes his fingers over a chalkboard. An apt methaphor for the entire undertaking. The one thing I remembered about the movie; and perhaps this is due to my ornithological leanings; was that "Stormy" had what appeared to be an active colony of birds outside his bedroom window. This is never explained in the movie. Weird? Yes. Judd kind of quadrupled down on the "bad boy" thing with his next film and it did no one, particularly him, any favors. He signed on to play a serial killer in Relentless. Why? It was as though Judd wanted to kill his own career; and he pretty much joined the world of missing persons after this movie. It was almost like he did it on purpose; snuffing out the remaining good will between him and the audience. As I've said; it always seemed as though he didn't really want to be there for his career. When he showed up a million years later as Brooke Shields' boss on a sitcom, I don't know about you; but you coulda knocked me over with a feather.
Yes, David E. Kelley; but before he was David E. Kelley. Bob Clark, the man who brought us at least three genre classics: A Christmas Story, Porky's and Black Christmas (taalk about eclectic!). The always dependable Elizabeth Perkins. Darren McGavin! Mr. Hand from Fast Times! Consummate actor's actor, John Hurt. I mean, I can see why Judd jumped at the chance; but Chance can be a fickle goddess; and From the Hip needed a hip replacement. Again, I saw this one on cable. It was not a pleasant film (let alone "funny"). It was agressively unpleasant, as you can rather glean from the opening scene in the trailer where "Stormy" rakes his fingers over a chalkboard. An apt methaphor for the entire undertaking. The one thing I remembered about the movie; and perhaps this is due to my ornithological leanings; was that "Stormy" had what appeared to be an active colony of birds outside his bedroom window. This is never explained in the movie. Weird? Yes. Judd kind of quadrupled down on the "bad boy" thing with his next film and it did no one, particularly him, any favors. He signed on to play a serial killer in Relentless. Why? It was as though Judd wanted to kill his own career; and he pretty much joined the world of missing persons after this movie. It was almost like he did it on purpose; snuffing out the remaining good will between him and the audience. As I've said; it always seemed as though he didn't really want to be there for his career. When he showed up a million years later as Brooke Shields' boss on a sitcom, I don't know about you; but you coulda knocked me over with a feather.
The sitcom, Suddenly Susan was enough of a success to have run for four seasons on NBC. But Judd remains elusive. I found it rather funny that in Brats, Mr. McCarthy kept mentioning that Mr. Nelson was in an "undisclosed location." I mean, was he in witness protection? Had he become a CIA operative? Was he somewhere in Pennsylvania, woodworking with Michael Schoeffling? It was just so Judd! Or was he just somewhere in Maine; parts of which are not just "undisclosed" but yet to be discovered by man? Here's a screen shot of Judd talking about Maine, where he's from, to the History Channel.
I don't think he has any idea how naturally cute and charming he is. Bad boy? Try Nice Jewish Boy! He reminds me of my high school track coach/advanced math teacher, Mr. Dakin. I've got a great story about him; but let's watch Judd's adorable interview, if I can link it here properly.
You know that dream you have when you're taking a test and you don't know the answers or you don't have a pencil or whatever; and everyone around you is furiously scribbling and you're just like WTF and frozen, staring at the wall clock? Yeah, well; it actually happened to me. I mean actually. As in, for real. I was a fairly intelligent kid and so was placed in AP classes. But all of my classes, including math, were advanced. By the time I got to be a senior and we were taking our final exam in whatever branch of math it was by that point, I had ZERO clue. Negative zero (is there such a thing? Did I just invent a new math term!??!). I remember looking around. I couldn't get beyond the first question. All the other boys had calculators. I remember thinking: "We could bring calculators to this?" Not that it would've mattered. And, I'm sitting there. I literally cannot answer the questions. So, I flipped the papers over to the blank side and did what I excelled at: writing. And I wrote my teacher, Mr. Dakin a letter. I remember I opened it with: "Mr. Dakin, this is not a joke..." and I proceeded to explain my predicament. Yes, I was terrified; but I'd also had something of an epiphany, sitting there. All my anxiety about math, which had plagued me since kindergarten, evaporated. I was done and I embraced my doneness (or againstness, as Demi Moore might say). Mr. Dakin, wonderful kind man that he was, allowed me to write a paper about a mathematician of my choice. I picked M.C. Escher, who was also an amazing artist, and thus passed the class. Everyone should be more like Mr. Dakin.
My old friend Paul was from Maine. I think he's there now, somewhere in an undisclosed location. You don't meet a lot of people from Maine. It's one of those states where the inhabitants don't leave much. And end up going back to (too), I imagine.
I wonder if Paul and Judd know one another. Because everybody from Maine, does, right? I mean, Pepperidge Farm remembers!
Please see the next and final(?) blog: Heaven Knows What Happens Now: Brats and Us: Part 5.
CFR 6/28/24
CFR 6/28/24
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