CHRISTOPHER "CHRIS" AKA "CHRISSY" AKA "MACHO CHRIS" AKA "DADDY CHRIS" REIDY clicks his remote off and hangs his head.  He SIGHS.
CHRIS
Oh, somebody needs a spanking.  A real hard, leather gloved to bare-bottom spanking.
He picks up his Princess phone and dials.

Chris runs his hand through the amazingly hirsute gloriousness of his facial hair that has the warp and weft or a boar-bristle Electrolux attachment brush.

After a moment we hear a CLICK as his call is picked up.
CHRIS
Tina Fey please...tell her Stets is on the line...(AFFECTS TEXAS ACCENT)  Hey little filly, it's ole' Stets here...how's things down at the lil' ole OK corral of commerce, darlin'?
We hear the VOICE of TINA FEY on the line.
TINA
This isn't Stets Tubbs.  It's you, isn't it?
CHRIS
(REGULAR, SEXY SONOROUS VOICE)  It sure is darlin'
TINA 
Reidy, why are you talking like Sam Elliott?
CHRIS
Can't you handle it?  A lot of ladies can't.  I'm in a Texas State O' Mind today, darlin.'
TINA
Just...whatever...what do you want?  I'm busy.
CHRIS
Are you ever not busy?
TINA
No.  I do the work.
CHRIS
Sounds like you're on a soundstage.
TINA
What?  How can you tell that?  The whole point of a soundstage is that it's soundproof.
CHRIS
I just know darlin.'  Are you filming a Booking.com commercial for the Superbowl?
TINA
Actually, I'm filming a Ty-D-Bowl commercial for the Superbowl, if it's any of your business, which it isn't.
CHRIS
Do they still make Ty-D-Bowl?
TINA
Yes.
CHRIS
Remember back in the day, the little man in the boat in the toilet?
TINA
Your back in the day was before my back in the day.
CHRIS
We're the same age.  I loved those commercials!
TINA
Who didn't?
CHRIS
Oh, that reminds me, I need to run some Kroger Chick'n In A Biskits ideas by you.
TINA
You're insane.
CHRIS
I know.  It's part of why you love me.  Are you the new face of Ty-D-Bowl?
TINA
(SIGHS)  Yes.
CHRIS
Oh, please tell me you're in a yacht captain's outfit in a little boat!
TINA
​(SIGHS) Yes.

CHRIS
Is Amy Poehler playing the housefrau?
TINA
(SIGHS) Yes.
CHRIS
Oh, well, that makes perfect sense, seeing as she's a Virgo; 'cuz, you know--
TINA
I really don't want to hear about the fucking zodiac right now.  Get to the point.
CHRIS
Okay.  You really need to sit one of your employees down and give him a good verbal spanking.
TINA
What employee?
CHRIS
Andrew Dismukes over at SNL.
TINA
He's not my employee.  I dont' work there.
CHRIS
Sure you don't.
TINA
I'm hanging up.
CHRIS
I need you to talk to Lorne Michaels then; let's get him to do it.
TINA
Okay.  What crazy ass "appropriation" do you feel was visited upon you now?  You know I don't actually care; but this does interest me, much like a car wreck might.  I find it amusing.
CHRIS
I'm glad I amuse you.  It's my goal in life to amuse; and I'm serious about that.
TINA
Great.  You're the Art Linkletter of our time.
CHRIS
Canadian!  Like Lorne.
TINA
Dismukes...
CHRIS
Right.  So, I wanted to talk about his "Dad Puppet."
TINA
You mean "Puppet Dad."
CHRIS
So, you saw it?
TINA
Yes.  What about it?
CHRIS
I too have a Puppet Dad.  I call mine my "Daddy Puppet."
TINA
Sure you do.
CHRIS
He's appeared in several videos I've made over the last couple of years or so.
TINA
Oh, you mean your Youtube videos that have views which number in the dozens?
CHRIS
The very ones.  Actually, my Daddy Puppet is a "Hugo" doll from the 70's.  He was billed as "The Man of a Thousand Faces."  He came with disguises, like a spy.  I asked Santa for one and received him, Christmas of 1975.
TINA
So, you were ten?
CHRIS
Just turned.
TINA
Isn't that a tad old to be playing with dolls?
CHRIS
Maybe.  But he wasn't just any doll.  And his legacy lives on!  In fact, he may have a cult following.  He looks a bit like Yul Brynner.  Or Telly Savalas.  Here he is, starring in someone's art film!

TINA
Did you say, "starring" or "staring"?
CHRIS
Well, the former; but it could just as easlily be the latter.  Or both really.  He does stare, as he was born without eyelids. But it can be disconcerting!
TINA
I'll say.  Dude is creepy.
CHRIS
You know, I'm remembering a TV commercial, but I can't find it.  Maybe I came across him via the comic book route.

TINA
What child would want that?
CHRIS
I did!
TINA
That tracks.
CHRIS
So, my Hugo was lost to the mists of time and then my husband regifted me one a few years ago; or should I say, just gifted one; and he's been a supporting player in many of my videos, often with cameos as my dad.  Do you wanna--
TINA
See the videos?  Not really; but--
CHRIS
You're gonna!  I'll post them with the time stamps where "Daddy" comes into the picture!
TINA
Whatevs.
CHRIS
​Okay, so he arrives at around the six minute mark in this one:

And in this one, he comes in about the 8 minute mark.  And the lighting in this is awful.  I mean, it's all about the lighting, am I right Teens?
TINA
​Right.

And then, in this one...well, I don't refer to him as my dad, but it's all about him.
TINA
Uhh-huh.

TINA
So, you're saying Dismukes got his "Puppet Dad" idea from your "Puppet Daddy-slash-Hugo doll"?
CHRIS
No hedging or hemming and hawing on this one.  I think this a straight up "Yes."
TINA
I thought your days of shouting this shit from the parapets was over.
CHRIS
Yes.  Yes, I said that.  However, I said only when it was a GLARING case of "homage" would I shout into the Inter-ether.  And I think this is pretty glaring.
TINA
How?  His puppet looks nothing like Hugo.
CHRIS
Yeah.  He does, however, look a frick of a lot like me:

TINA
You're delusional.  That puppet has way more hair than you.
CHRIS
Yeah, maybe, but the clashing beard and hair?  My hair and beard never match right.
TINA
Why?
CHRIS
Because I dye my beard and not my hair and my beard is always in some weird state of multi-coloration.  I mean, you know, Tina, as a Garnier Hair Color Ambassadoress.  Or former anyways.  But yeah, as far as his puppet goes...if the shoe fits.  Or should I say, "If the hand fits up the puppets butt."
TINA
You definitely shouldn't say that.
CHRIS
And his "dad's" sweater looks a lot like Hugo's smock.  And then, come to think of it, there was this a few shows back...

TINA
I didn't see that one.
CHRIS
Let's watch, shall we?  I thought it was really funny!

TINA
Amusing.
CHRIS
And he looks disturbingly like Hugo.  And I just gotta ask; why is SNL not skewering this particular politico?

TINA
That's actually an excellent question.
CHRIS
Is it wrong that I find him kinda sexy?
TINA
That would be a hard "yes."
CHRIS
I mean, he's got S & M right there in his name!  I would really love to bend him over and take a paddle--
TINA
I really don't want to hear about that.
CHRIS
Speaking of spanking--
TINA
We weren't.  At least I wasn't.  Let's talk about something else.  So, you really think Dismukes got his puppet and "daddy issues" bit from you?
CHRIS
Well, the puppet combined with the whole yearning for daddy love bit...I would say, yes.  I mean, I kind of got the idea from Paul Reubens, who you may know better as Pee-Wee Herman.
TINA
Of course.  How and what ideas did you get from the late Mr. Reubens?
CHRIS
Back in the 80's, when he was first breaking through, he was on HBO and he did a bit with a Hugo doll.  I vividly recall it, because, as you know, I had the doll as a child.  Let's take a look!
TINA
Do we have to ?
CHRIS
​Yes!  Hugo appears at the 4 minute mark.

TINA
Classic.  So, you're admitting that you stole from Paul Reubens?
CHRIS
Perhaps was "influenced" by.  I mean, if I did a bit with Hugo playing a hypnotist named Dr. Mongo; or even just a hypnotist, I'd say that was stealing and not just "wild coincidence" or "subconscious borrowing."  'Cuz, you know your show has been accused of this very thing in the past.  Here's a link!
www.cracked.com/article_42244_snl-has-once-again-been-accused-of-stealing-an-internet-comedy-sketch.html

TINA
I told you: it's not my show.
CHRIS
Sure Tina. So, you haven't asked me what "Sueplicity" is yet.
TINA
And why would I?
CHRIS
Okay, so, it's this thing where--
TINA
Now you're stealing from Bill Hader?
CHRIS
Touche.  Well, "sueplicity" is my new invention where I try and goad really famous and wealthy people into suing me in order to get publicity!  Neat, huh?
TINA
Sounds like that could cost a lot of cash in the long run.
CHRIS
That's what my husband said.  Anyways, so, I like use their stuff without permission or say mean things about them.
TINA
For instance?
CHRIS
'Frinstance, say, I put out a line of Taylor Swift branded merchandise but spell her name "Tayler Swiftt" and use imagery of her that is not actually her but an incredible simulation!
TINA
For instance?
CHRIS
​How about this?

CHRIS
Of course, I'd scratch out that watermark, thus stealing from Ms. Mostova at the same time!  
TINA
What about Lorne?
CHRIS
Well, I would spell his name L-O-R-E-N Michael, singular; and find an incredbile simulation of him!  Like this:

CHRIS
That would look amazeballs on a tote bag!
TINA
I mean, maybe if you squinted...but Lorne doesn't sing.
CHRIS
What?  What do you mean?  Aren't like his best friends Paul Simon and like, Paul McCartney?
TINA
Yeah, so?
CHRIS
Tina, you know as well as I do that if you hang around a barber shop long enough, sooner or later you're gonna get your hair cut.
TINA
Yep.  Sure Chris.  Nailed it again.  So who and what would you say "mean things" about?
CHRIS
Hmmmm...good question.  How about we start with you?
TINA
​Let's not and say we did.
CHRIS
I could make a meme about you and make it go viral!
TINA
You can't "make" something go viral.  It either does or it doesn't.
CHRIS
Maybe so.  Oh!  I know!  How about this?:

TINA
That's not even a real product.
CHRIS
No, but it's still good for the economy!
TINA
Yeah, my economy; when I SUE your ass!
CHRIS
You mean SUEPLICITY, Tina!
TINA
Oh...I see what you did there.
CHRIS
I wanna confab about our Chick-Bick cracker pitch to Krogs!
TINA
Sure.  I'll set up some face time with you, me, Amy and Stets.
CHRIS
Sounds terrif!  Now, what are you gonna do about Dismukes?
TINA
What are you talking about?
CHRIS
Well, I can't just waltz into Studio 8-H where he's always prancing around in nothing but skivvies--
TINA
He is?
CHRIS
Let's take a look!

TINA
That was one time.
CHRIS
Then there was that like Roman Orgy rehearsal sketch.  Oh, and the time he did this:

TINA
Well, you may be on to something there.
CHRIS
Hey, if that's not asking for a good old fashioned rump-roasting, I don't know what is!
TINA
Are you suggesting that I do this?
CHRIS
Yeah, whadda ya think?  Hairbrush?  Bare-handed?  Ping-pong paddle?  Coffee Table book?  Rolled up newspaper?  Now, I prefer a short riding crop, 'cuz you can get in nook and cranny surprises!

TINA
I am not talking about this with you.  Do you know the kind of HR hell I could get into?
CHRIS
So, he is your employee.
TINA
No.  But I'm not going to discuss spanking--
CHRIS
But it would be a WIN, WIN, WIN type sitch Teens.  I get all that publicity and subsequent financial windfall, you get to be self-righteous and Dismukes gets to get spanked, which is what he really wants!
TINA
That boy does not want--
CHRIS
Oh, please.  He's going to be 30 in June.  He's a Gemini, which, coincidentally, is my balancing sign. He is literally begging for his DADDY!  And, he's nearly exactly half my age, like my own real life Daddy, Frank Reidy.  Wanna see a pic?
TINA
This is getting super weird.  But, yes.  If only to see what sort of monster might've sired you.
CHRIS
​Good word Teens.  So sexy!  Oh, here he is!

TINA
Is he mad?
CHRIS
My whole family is kinda mad.  No, he was being silly.  He's a big ham.  He was always going around singing and doing voices.  I think he would've made a great actor.
TINA
It's interesting how a lot of people who seem to be naturals never explore that side of themselves.
CHRIS
I couldn't agree more Tina.
TINA
Ah, at the risk of getting even weirder...what's that between his hands?
CHRIS
It's a chairback spindle.
TINA
There seem to be a lot of phallic symbols in that picture...what would Freud say?
CHRIS
Hmmm.  Maybe, "Sometimes a zeegar is weally a pepper mill."  Which brings us back to Dismukes.  So, are you going with the glove or just the bare hand?
TINA
That's not happening.  Stop trying to make spank happen.
CHRIS
Why don't you just ask Dismukes.
TINA
I am terminating this conversation.  I mean, how could you even think, let alone entertain the idea that that poor innocent child would enjoy having his tender, milky-smooth glutei-maximei thrashed until they glow like a macaque in heat?  How dare you.  How dare you imply that my sweet, and tender employee of the month--err, ahh, oh, I mean--my colleague of the mind--that darling little Texas Ganymede, so chaste, so innocent, so virginal; would enjoy succumbing to the digital ministrations of the open palmed butt spank?  The cruel fisticuffs of Sister Palm and her five handmaidens?  How dare you.  HOW DARE YOU!!!
CHRIS
Okay, okay.  I'm sorry.  Geez Louise.
TINA
...(UNINTELLIGIBLE)...what?  Oh, yeah...I'm coming...I said I'll be there.  Cripes Amy, get off my tits already!  I really have to go now.
CHRIS
Okay.  
TINA
Oh, and your joke about the barber shop?
CHRIS
Yeah?
TINA
It should've been: "...joins a quartet," instead of "...get their hair cut."
CHRIS
Oh,  Yeah.  You're right.  That does work better.
TINA
Yeah.  That's why they pay me the big bucks.
CHRIS
So, when can we do this Kroger brainstorm--
CLICK!
CHRIS
She loves me!

FIN

CFR   1/31/25

ADDENDUM:
For more on comedic "subconscious borrowing" please see my blog, "Stealing Laughs." Here's a link:
www.christopherfreidy.com/blog/stealing-laughs

TAYLOR SWIFT is going to rerecord Pretty in Pink for the reboot!

I was watching the MTV video show about the premiere party of Pretty In Pink and everyone seemed distracted.  Bummed even.  And I couldn't figure it out.  Then, I was doing some research and found out that it was the day after the space-shuttle Challenger disaster and it all made sense.  I mean there was a real pall over the proceedings.  A national tragedy can do that.  I mean, poor Fee Waybill was trying really hard to pull interviews out of people and be charming and fun and I was thinking, why is everyone being so unresponsive?
In any event, we've come to our final scene in this ersatz redux of PIP.  Yay!  I mean, I happy to wrap this up.  I love the movie, but like I said, I'm not getting paid for this.
Now, I wanted a scene that deals with a character's drunkeness.  In the film, Steff comes across as always being one or two sheeets to the wind, even at school.  In fact, I'm pretty sure he drinks from a hip-flask in at least one scene.  My idea was that he gets drunk and goes to Andie's house, get's his car stuck in a ditch or something and ends up spending the night on the sofa.  Andie's dad recognizes a possible "friend of Bill" and let's him stay and the next morning Steff and Andie kiss.  So, I was trying to think of an organic way to make that happen and nothing was clicking.  Then the idea of Andie and Steff being in the clinch for the school musical made way more sense.  
But, I still have to write this promised "gay bar" scene between Blane and Duckie; so one of them will be drunk, which will lead to a kiss.  And I promise, this will be the last scene and blog about Pretty In Pink.  For a while, anyways.  So, let's get to work!
NOTE: In Mr. Hughes' script, the bouncer at the unnamed club is actually named "Jimbo."  In the finished movie, the club is named "Cats" and the bouncer, who is being played by Andrew Dice Clay, is referred to as "Diceman."  Now, as I really do not appreciate the comedy stylings of Mr. Clay (Dice-Clay?); our bouncer will revert back to "Jimbo."


EXT. CATS CLUB -NIGHT
JIMBO THE BOUNCER is sitting on a barstool next to the front door of the club.  Several LEATHER MEN turn from the parking lot and approach the door.  Jimbo waves them in, not bothering to check their IDs.  Jimbo looks up to see a LEATHER CLAD FIGURE on a bicycle enter the parking lot.  The man on the bike gets off and proceeds to chain the bike to a link fence.  He stands, squares his shoulders, adjusts a pair of round sunglasses and pulls the brim of his hat down over them.  He strides towards the door, ignoring Jimbo and reaches for the handle.
JIMBO
Hold it there, Sir...I
DUCKIE
(Lowering his voice) Do you need some form of identification my good man?
JIMBO
Actually no, I don't.
DUCKIE
Very well then my good fellow, a good evening to you.
JIMBO
Duck, I know it's you.  And you still know that I never let you in, right?
DUCKIE
Aww, come on Jimbo.  Please?  Just this once?
JIMBO
Obviously, based on your little outfit here--and might I say, so butch man!
DUCKIE
Thanks.
JIMBO
And might I add that you know what night this is and that Miss Andie is most decidedly not in there.  Rave Ups or no Rave Ups.  Although, I will say that I always thought that this was the night you should be in there; no offense, just sayin.'
DUCKIE
Then Jimbo, come on.  I turned 18 in  April. Help a sexually fluid dude out!
JIMBO
I can't Duck.   I can't be party to--
Blane, unnoticed, is now standing behind them, wearing his trademark rumpled preppy button-down shirt.
BLANE
Homophobia?
JIMBO
Excuse me?  Hey, I am not afraid of queers and I resent that insinuation; and I believe queer is the current self-descriptor for my fairy brothers.
Blane holds up a fifty dollar bill.
BLANE
Will this get us in?
JIMBO
It might get him in; but not you.  You gotta take your shirt off or have on leather to get in tonight and on that front I'm immovable.
Duckie takes off his bike jacket, revealing a leather harness.  He extends his jacket to Blane.  Blane takes it and puts it on.  
BLANE
How about now?
Jimbo nods in agreement, takes the 50 and reachs up and gently tweaks one of Duckie's nips.
JIMBO
Hey Duck, if you ever get tired of chasing Miss Andie, come see me--
DUCKIE
Yeah, thanks Jimbo.  I'll let you know.
JIMBO
And be wearing that.
Jimbo opens the door for them with a sly CHUCKLE.

CUT TO:
INT. CLUB -NIGHT
Duckie and Blane push their way up to the bar.  As Blane is already flashing cash, the BARTENDER instantly responds.
BARTENDER
Yeah?
BLANE
I'll have a Tanqueray and tonic and my friend will have...
DUCKIE
(Quietly) ...juice box, neat...
BLANE
What?  
BARTENDER
I don't have juiceboxes.
DUCKIE
I don't drink...
Duckie turns to look at the crowd.  The bartender gives Blane a "come on already" wave of the hands.
BLANE
He'll have a Planter's Punch...(sotto vocce)...make it a double.
CUT TO:
INT. BAR -NIGHT
Blane and Duckie are standing, leaning on elbows atop a cocktail table.  Nearby, LEATHERDUDES are shaking their groove things on the dance floor.
DUCKIE
(Holding up his drink)  Are you sure about this?
BLANE
It'mostly juice.  You'll love it.
DUCKIE
I've never had a real cocktail before!
BLANE
You're kidding.  (Duckie shakes his head)  I think you'll like it.  (Duckie takes a sip and smiles) See?
DUCKIE
It's a school night!
BLANE
Maybe you're the one with the curfew.
DUCKIE
Hardly.  My old man is never around enough to wonder where I am.
BLANE
Oh...what does he do?
DUCKIE
Not much. I don't want to talk about him.
BLANE
Okay, so who do you want to talk about?
DUCKIE
Steff McKee.
BLANE
What about him?
DUCKIE
I mean, I know what he sees in Andie.  You'd have to be blind not to.  But I don't understand what she sees in him.
I mean, what do you see in him?  He's your best friend, right?
BLANE
More like my only friend.  We grew up together.  He's more like a cousin.
DUCKIE
What about the other richies?  
BLANE
Look, Duckie--
DUCKIE
Call me Phillip.  Nobody calls me Phillip.
BLANE
Sure.  Phillip, those people are what you call my "crowd."  But they're not really my friends.  And the more time that's gone by the less friendly it becomes.  As a matter of fact, I can't wait to get the hell out of this town and start fresh.
DUCKIE
With Andie?
BLANE
I like Andie a lot.  Can I just be honest?
DUCKIE
I don't know, can you?
BLANE
Phillip, you asked me to meet you here, under circumstances I wasn't aware of. (He gestures to the leather jacket)  It seems to me the situation now requires complete honesty.
DUCKIE
I'm listening.
BLANE
I think maybe I'm in love with Andie.
DUCKIE
I know I'm in love with Andie.
BLANE
And because of that, I'm kind of in love with every...thing...that's part of her life.
Blane places his hand on top of Duckie's.  Duckie puts his straw in his mouth and takes a long, long sip.

Suddenly, a CHEER goes up as the opening strains of Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam's "I Wonder If I Take You Home" begin. Duckie is saved by the bell, as they say.  But does he want to be saved?
DUCKIE
I love this song!  Let's dance!
BLANE
Well, I don't--
But Duckie is already pulling him by the sleeve and at this point, Blane's gonna wave his hands in the air.

CUT TO:
INT. BAR -NIGHT
Duckie and Blane find a spot out on the floor and dance like they just don't care.  Because of the crowd, they have little control of things getting touchy-feely; but neither seems to mind very much...
FADE TO MONTAGE:
Through a series of quick fades we see:
Duckie and Blane clinking two more full glasses.  We hear bits of DIALOGUE throughout.
BLANE
I told you you'd like them...but ya gotta pace yourself...
Blane, now clearly curious, leadng Duckie through the crowd as they explore what "Tom Cats" at Cats is all about:
They pass a dark corner of the room where numerous configurations of LEATHERMEN are getting hot and heavy.  Duckie does a double take.
DUCKIE
Was that guy getting--
BLANE
I think so...
Jimbo appears with a penlight and shines it into the flailing group.
JIMBO
Keep it clean gents.  Our license goes and leather night goes with it.
The boys dance some more to music as the tempo of the songs starts to get a little more aggressive.

​Okay, here's a chance to bring back bands that were so prominent on the soundtrack of Pretty In Pink and have come to be forever associated with said movie.  OMD or Orchestral Manoeuvres In the Dark, natch.  Here's one of their lesser known hits that seems to fit here quite nicely, thematically speaking:

The boys continue to move around the club.  
They pass a DUDE turned over the knee of a DADDY, who is spanking him with fraternity paddle.  Duckie shrugs.
DUCKIE
I wouldn't say he wasn't enjoying it...
BLANE
Huh, Sigma Alpha Epsilon.  I don't think I'll be pledging that fraternity next year...
A game of pool.
Duckie chugging another drink.
They watch as a BARBER in leather pants and no shirt shaves the head of a YOUNG MAN who is sitting in a makeshift barber chair.  Once the kid is whiffed, the chair is vacated.
BARBER
(To Blane)  Need a trim?
BLANE
Well, I was kinda-sorta growing it out.
DUCKIE
I double-dog dare you!
Blane shrugs, smiles and sits in the chair.
BLANE
I'm all yours...just don't scalp me.
BARBER
How about a high and tight?
BLANE
Go for it.
DUCKIE
Dude, seriously...I was kidding.  Don't do this!
BLANE
I want to.
He gives the barber the go-ahead and the clippers get switched on.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM -NIGHT
Blane and Duckie are staring into the bathroom mirror.  Blane runs a hand over his head.
DUCKIE
He scalped you.
BLANE
I really like it.  I feel free.
We hear the opening beats of New Order's "Perfect KIss."
BLANE
I love this song.  Let's dance.
He pushes a now clearly tipsy Duckie out the bathroom door.

The pair rush out to the dance floor and start moving. They start moving nearer and nearer.  Duckies eyes are half closed.  Blane's face is inches away from Duckie's and getting closer; closer to a kiss; but an imperfect one as it doesn't quite reach fruition. The song suddenly segues into the Pretender's "Tattooed Love Boys" and some of the dancers start to get a bit overzealous.  A slam dance starts and more and more people start joining in.  At one point, the boys get separated as Blane is literally pulled into the all-male maelstrom.
DUCKIE
Oh, shit!

Okay, so there are several ways to go with how the rest of this scene plays out.  You could do it "scary"; that is to say that Blane is actually in danger and the crowd is kind of out for blood and he's in danger of being trampled or at the very least losing some teeth or getting a black eye.  And slam-dancing can be scary and dangerous.  Or, you could go with the empowerment/erotic angle: that Blane finds it as "freeing" as his new skin-head and gets into it; but, as we know that Blane is rather a gentle soul, that might be for a different movie.  Or, you could go full on comedic and do a sort of thing where Duckie goes in to save Blane, gets caught in the fight and it's kind of a Looney Tunes dust cloud with the occasional shoe, or person or whatever flying out, like in the Wizard of Oz:

But then, we don't want to get ridiculous too much.  So, I say we find a sort of middle ground, where yes, the boys could get hurt but also kind of funny, because they are in a bar on gay leather night, so they might be getting up close and personal with a lot of bare butt cheeks and studded leather jock straps, something like that.  Here goes:

Duckie starts trying to ram his way into the scrum but keeps getting bounced back like a ping-pong ball in a white squall.
He slam dances his way into the epicenter of the storm, only to find Blane having a good old time.
BLANE
(SHOUTING)  This is totally awesome!
DUCKIE
(ALSO SHOUTING) That's great but you're gonna get--
Blane sinks beneath the surging leather sea and Duckie sinks down to try and find him.
CUT TO:
INT. BAR -NIGHT
(Continued)
We now see the POV below the surface: a forest of thrashing legs and downward pushing hands.  Duckie turns to see a hairy ass coming at him.  Blane is face to face with a leather jock, studded with spikes, which just misses his face.  Duckie spits hair out of his mouth as he reaches Blane, who is somewhere between alarm and hysterical laughter. Duckie grabs Blane and the two use one another as a shield to get out of the melee.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARKING LOT -NIGHT
The door to the club comes crashing open and Blane and Duckie spill out into the night, LAUGHING.  Jimbo is back on his stool beside the door.
JIMBO 
You boys have fun?
BLANE
Yeah.  Actually, I had a blast!
Duckie is wandering off towards his bicycle, now clearly drunk and SINGING.
DUCKIE
...I want to ride my bicycle...I want to ride my bike!
JIMBO
Didn't you have a lot more hair when you went in?
BLANE
(LAUGHS)  You know what they say: "Hair today..."
JIMBO
I think you look great.  (Points) We're not gonna let him try to ride his bike, are we?
BLANE
No, I'll give him a ride.  
JIMBO
Are you okay to drive?
BLANE
Well, almost getting gang-banged during a slam-dance sobers a fellah up real quick.
Jimbo reaches in his pocket and pulls out the fifty dollar-bill.
JIMBO
Here, take this back.  I don't feel right about taking it.
BLANE
No, it's fine--
JIMBO
Then please, give it to Duck.  Slip it in his pocket.
Blane nods and takes the money.  He waves good-night and goes over to Duckie who is trying to open his bike lock without a key.
BLANE
Come on, you're coming with me.
Duckie continues to SING the Queen song as Blane guides him to his Beamer.

CUT TO:
EXT. FRONT PORCH OF HOUSE -NIGHT
Blane is helping Duckie up to the front door of his house.  The house is small and run-down looking; but the grounds are neat.  Duckie is still sort of drunk-talk-singing as Blane pulls the screen door open.  The porch light flicks on and the door opens, revealing a burly looking MAN clearly on his way out.  The man is Duckie's father, JAMES DALE, 40'S.  He's seems to be some kind of working man, based on his clothes.
JAMES DALE
For chrissakes it's two in the morning, what is this?
BLANE
Hi, I'm Duckie's friend.
JAMES
Who's "Duckie"?
BLANE
Oh, I meant Phillip here.
DUCKIE
Hi Pop!
JAMES
Are you drunk?
DUCKIE
I think so.
JAMES 
I'll deal with you later; but Philly,  if I get another note from that goddamned school about you skipping--
DUCKIE
Dad, this is Blane.
BLANE
Hello Mr. Dale.
JAMES
"Blaine"?  With an "i"; like the industrial supply company?
Duckie CHUCKLES.
BLANE
No, no "i," Mr. Dale.  Well, why don't I help Philly here to his bed.
JAMES
I would appreciate that Blane.  Nice to meet you.
He offers his massive hand and Blane shakes it.
JAMES
(As he leaves, under his breath)...drunk on a school night...why my father would've...
Blane pushes Duckie through the door.

CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM -NIGHT

Okay, now this scene in the original movie, where we see Duckie's bedroom has always kind of bothered me.  I mean, it appears as though he lives in a flophouse of some kind.  Or, like a back room at the Weather Underground HQ:

Although, I did know more than one kid whose room kind of looked like this; one girl in particular who had graffitoed all over the walls and ceilings of her room.  I remember being shocked.  But the movie PIP gives you the impression that Duckie is squatting somewhere.  I mean, like, where are his parents?  Caretakers?  Siblings?  He kind of comes across as a heroin addict squatting on Jones Street.  I think it detracts from the movie.  But maybe that's just me.  Or maybe it was John Hughes.  The adult figures in his oeuvre are typically villains or afterthoughts or just straight up lousy parents; if they're there at all.

Blane guides Duckie to the bed where he unceremoniously falls to the futon that's on the floor.  Duckie reaches over and hits play on his boom box and we hear The Psychedelic Furs, "The Ghost In You" softly under the dialogue.

Blane moves around the room, looking at the graffiti.
BLANE
Your decorator seems to be a minimalist.
DUCKIE 
"Minimal" to the maximal...
BLANE
I like your dad.  He seems really--
DUCKIE
You can have him.
BLANE
I have my own, thanks.  He's really...busy...too.
DUCKIE
Busy?  Yeah, right.  When you grow up, your heart dies.
BLANE
(Considers)...that's stupid. 
Blane crouches down on the floor and rolls Duckie over and begins unbuckling his leather harness.
BLANE
Where did you get this?
DUCKIE
I made it in home-ec.
BLANE
It's amazing.  
DUCKIE
No it's not.
BLANE
I think you're kind of amazing...
He hangs the harness over a chair and starts taking off Duckies shoes and socks.
BLANE
"...it was your sweet love that kept my course true; but now you've closed your heart and taken that from me too."
Duckie attempts to sit up.
DUCKIE
That's my--how did you--how do you--
BLANE
I found your poetry book.  It's in my car.  I meant to give it back to you.
DUCKIE
Oh, you found it!  Thank you!
And suddenly, they are kissing.  Blane pulls back and they stare at each other.  Duckie's drunk.  It wouldn't be right.
BLANE 
I'll bring it to school tomorrow.  I better go.
DUCKIE
Please stay.  Stay until I fall asleep?  I have bad dreams.
He's already nearly asleep.  Blane adjusts Duckies pillow.  
BLANE
Okay.  
He sits on the bed, his back against the wall.

Artwork by Paulo Silviera

FADE TO BLACK
(Continued)
We hear the CROWING of the neighborhood rooster as the light fades up in Duckie's bedroom.  Blane, who has probably been awake all night, is pitching playing cards into Duckie's hat.  Duckie rolls over and SIGHS, then sits up and rubs his head.
BLANE
I should probably give my mother a call.  Can I use your phone?
DUCKIE
It's in the kitchen.
Blane flips the last card and stands.  He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror which stops him short.  He rubs his head.
BLANE
I'm gonna have to wear a wig to prom. Come on, get up.  We've got that trig test today.
DUCKIE
I didn't know you knew I was in the class with you.
BLANE
I'm not blind Philly.
DUCKIE
I can't go to school today and don't call me that.  Do I look like I can take a test?
BLANE
You're going.  I promised your dad.
DUCKIE
You did?  When?
But Blane is already through the door.  The rooster CROWS and Duckie pulls a pillow over his ears and GROANS.
DUCKIE
(Lowers pillow and SHOUTS towards the door)  What about your head?
Then he grabs his own head and MOANS.

Okay, so seriously, we have to end this.  One more short scene and we're out and then I'll post these script pages in proper form.  I mean, I have all these other ideas for this; but again, this is not my property and if Paramount wants me to proceed, I will continue...for...hmmmm...let's do some math...so, if Pretty In Pink cost 9 million to make in 1985 that would be little under $30 million today.  So, if I negotiate at 3 percent, that should be...9 hundred thousand dollars.  I was only going to ask for 4 hundred thousand; but in lieu of the lawsuit I will defer pursuing against a certain talk show host and much of the pain and suffering I spent breathing in filing cabinet dust at 5555 Melrose Avenue and having food withheld from me; I am going to ask for 2.5 percent-ish.  So, Paramount, that'll be...$755,555 dollars and .55 cents.

FADE UP:
EXT. HOLLYWOOD STREET -NIGHT
A long silver '75 Oldsmobile 98 Regency turns a corner on a rain slick LA street.  The CAMERA TILTS UP AND ZOOMS in on the street sign.  It's the corner of Hollywood Blvd. and N. Orange Drive.  We hear the SPLASH of the water beneath the car tires and the MUFFLED BEAT of the MUSIC from inside the car.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR -NIGHT
In the glow of the dashboard light, we see a MAN'S HAND reach for the radio and hit the tuner.  STATIC, COMMERCIAL BITS, VOICES then the following SONG, Albert Hammond's "It Never Rains in California."

EXT. STREET -NIGHT
We see the Oldsmobile pull into a space along a curb.  The door opens and A YOUNG MAN gets out.  He's wearing a rain coat.  He goes to the sidewalk and looks up at a parking sign.
INSERT SHOT - SIGN.  

The young man glances at his watch.  This is CHRISTOPHER "CHRIS" REIDY, 20.  He is a pleasant looking person, with dark hair and eyes with slightly exotic cast to his looks.  His reserved quality could, however, be possibly construed as aloofness to some.  He opens the passenger door, retrieves an umbrella and then locks the car.  He opens the umbrella, which has several broken spokes and lists to one side.  Nonetheless, he holds it above his head against the drizzling rain.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD. -NIGHT
The CAMERA TRACKS the Hollywood Walk of Fame as Chris walks.  The terra-cota STARS shimmer in the watery reflections from the street lights and Chris treads carefully.  Chris knows those stars are slicker than WD40 on a doorknob when they're wet. Even so, he nearly slips and goes down on one of the stars.  He looks down: MICKEY MOUSE.
CHRIS
Figures.
A gust of wind rips his umbrella from his hand and it goes flying towards Beverly Hills.  But it doesn't matter. Chris is now beneath the protective canopy of Grauman's Chinese Theater.  WORKMEN are dismantling some hoi polloi barriers and putting them in a truck.  Chris looks around the famous forecourt and as he nears the building, a SECURITY OFFICER approaches him.
OFFICER
Sorry, it's closed for a private event.
CHRIS
Oh, I know.  Do you mind if I just look at the footprints?
OFFICER
(Shrugs) Knock yourself out.

Chris meanders across the courtyard, the neon dragons reflecting in the puddles gathering in the foot and handprints of a "galaxy of stars."  He comes to a stop and looks closer.  CLOSE on the signature of Yul Brynner.  The King and I is also scrawled into the cement.  Chris puts his feet in Yul's footprints.
CHRIS
"So let it be written, so let it be done!"  No, wait...wrong movie..."Etcetera!  Et--"
The door to the theater flies open and a MAN rushes out and stops.  Chris observes him as he pats his ill fitting black suit jacket.  He finds his pack of cigarettes, puts one to his lips and again pats himself down.  After a moment he SIGHS and his eyes fall on Chris, who is now crouching down and attempting to put his hands in Yul Brynner's.  The man with the unlit cigarette is the actor, ANDREW MCCARTHY, 23.  He flips up the collar of his jacket.
ANDREW
You don't have a light, by any chance?
CHRIS
Yeah, I do...
Chris wipes his hand on his pants, stand and fishes a gold lighter out of his jacket.  He goes to Andy, flicks the lighter and puts forward the flame.  Andrew leans in for the light.
ANDREW
(Hitching his thumb over his shoulder) Were you inside?
CHRIS
No.  I was just out for a walk.
There is an awkward pause, as though Andrew is waiting for something.  Some kind of shoe to fall?
ANDREW
Okay...well, thanks.  Stay dry...
Andrew heads into the rain and dashes across the street which is weirdly empty.  Chris returns his attention to the footprints.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD. -NIGHT
Chris is walking west down the sidewalk.  He crosses Hollywood Blvd. at Orange and then turns east, towards The Hamburger Hamlet.  The rain is really coming down.

CUT TO:
INT. HAMBURGER HAMLET -NIGHT
Chris enters through the main door.  The restaurant is not crowded on a rainy Wednesday night; in fact, nearly empty.
Chris walks towards the back.  As he does, he looks to his left and sees Andrew sitting at the bar, a halo of cigarette smoke over his head.  Chris continues towards the restrooms.
CUT TO:
INT. MEN'S ROOM -NIGHT
Chris zips up, steps away from the urinal and goes to the sink.  He washes his hands, dries them and looks at his reflection in the mirror.  He looks like a wet cat as he attempts to fix the hair flattened to his head.
CUT TO:
INT. BAR -NIGHT
Chris enters the bar area and takes a stool about halfway down from Andrew.  Apart from the BARTENDER, they are the only two there.  Chirs takes off his rain coat and shakes some of the water out of it.  The RUSTLING of the fabric causes Andrew to turn.  He turns back and then turns again.
ANDREW
You didn't take my advice...
CHRIS
What do you mean?
ANDREW
You didn't stay dry.
CHRIS
​My umbrella blew away.
ANDREW
I hate when that happens.  Nice raincoat.
CHRIS
Thanks.  It's vintage Calvin Klein.
ANDREW
Vintage?  I thought something had to be like twenty-five years old before it was considered "vintage."
CHRIS
It's forty-five years old.
There is a pause as Andrew thinks about this for a moment.
ANDREW
So, Calvin started his business when he was a toddler?
CHRIS
I think so.
Andrew tilts his head and lifts his glass.
ANDREW
Here's to the child prodigies...
He finishes off his drink and motions to the bartender.  Chris puts his cigarettes and wallet on the bar and gets comfy on his chair.  The BARTENDER refills Andrew's glass with Absolut.  Chris looks up at the TV, the sound is turned down and a graphic reads: CHALLENGER DISASTER as a NEWS ANCHOR speaks in front of video of the tragedy.  Chris puts his hand to his mouth as the bartender approaches him.
BARTENDER
What can I get for you?
CHRIS
Margarita on the rocks with salt and a shot on the side.
The bartender starts making the drink as Chris puts his head in his hands.
CHRIS
I forgot about that...
ANDREW
(Pointing at TV) What?  It happened yesterday.  Are you sure you need that margarita?
CHRIS
Oh, I really need it now.  No wonder everyone is so bummed out...
The bartender puts the shot in front of him and he tosses it back.  The bartender picks up a remote.
BARTENDER
This has been on all day.  I'll change it.
He hits a few buttons and the MTV logo comes up, doing it's irreverant, animated thing.

ANDREW
Lord, please; anything but this.
An image of Andrew comes up on the screen in a clip from Pretty In Pink.
BARTENDER
Wait a secondd, isn't this happening right now, across the street?
ANDREW
Yep.
Chris looks at the TV then out the window and then at Andrew.
CHRIS
That's not you on the TV, is it?
ANDREW
Yep.
BARTENDER
(To Chris) Don't you know who this is?
ANDREW
Oh, no...please...(to bartender)...what's your name?
BARTENDER
Carlos.
ANDREW
Let's just--
CARLOS
This is Andrew McCarthy!  From Saint Elmo's Fire!
CHRIS
(Feigning something) Oh, yes.  Of course.  I saw it on cable five times!
CARLOS
I saw it seven!
A WAITRESS comes to the end of the bar with a tray and Carlos goes to take her order. Chris retrieves a cigarette from his pack and goes to light it, but his lighter doesn't work.
CHRIS
(Aside) Forgot to fill this again. (Turns to Andrew)  Do you have a light?
ANDREW
I do.  You know, since it looks like we're going to be conversing, why don't you slide down here next to me?
CHRIS
You're not trying to pick me up, are you?  Because if you are, I'd be fine with that.
ANDREW
(LAUGHS) Ah, no.
Chris slides his things down the bar and takes a seat next to Andrew.  Andrew strikes a match and lights Chris' cigarette.
ANDREW
You know, you don't seem too impressed that I'm a movie star.
CHRIS
You don't seem too impressed that you're a movie star.
ANDREW
Snappy comebacks.  I like it.

Andrew blows out the match and drops it in the ashtray.  He picks up Chris' cigarette pack.
ANDREW
"DuMaurier"? Never heard of this brand.
CHRIS
They're Canadian.
Andrew peers closer at the cigarette pack and a look of shock comes over his face.  
ANDREW
Why the fuck are those pictures on there?
CHRIS
Canadian law requires them.  
ANDREW
Since when.  That's disgusting!
CHRIS
That's the idea. It's supposed to be a deterrent.
ANDREW
Okay.  Look.  You seem like a nice guy; but what's going on?  Am I on Candid Camera or something?
CHRIS
No.  But I'll tell you this.  We have met before.
ANDREW
We have?  I don't think so.  I never forget a face.
CHRIS
Let's do a shot.  How about something pink?
ANDREW
Whatever floats your boat--
CHRIS
Chris.
ANDREW
Whatever floats your boat, Chris.
CHRIS
Let's see, it's 1986, they should at least have strawberry schnapps...
He gestrues to Carlos who is finishing up with the waitress.  
CARLOS
What can I get you?
CHRIS
We want pink shots.  Do you have anything strawberry?
CARLOS
I've got strawberry margarita mix...let me whip something up.
CHRIS
Yeah!  Surprise us!
ANDREW
I hate strawberry; but it seems apropos.
CHRIS
The chicks really dig it!
ANDREW
You're into chicks?  You seem kinda gay to me.
CHRIS
I am gay.
ANDREW
So you are trying to pick me up?
CHRIS
"Look, I didn't come here to get you off!"
ANDREW
Hey, wait a second.  That's a line from the movie.  It hasn't come out yet; how can you--do you work for Paramount?
CHRIS
No; but I did.  Or should I say, I will?
ANDREW
Okay man, I know I'm a little drunk; but you're starting to freak me out here...
CHRIS
Please don't freak out.  I'm harmless.  Let me explain--
Carlos returns with three shot glasses containing bright pink elixir.

CARLOS
On the house gentlemen.  I'll do one with you.  A los astronautos.  Salud!
CHRIS AND ANDREW: Salud!
They do the shots.
ANDREW
Not bad.  
CHRIS
What's in it?  
CARLOS
Strawberry syrup, white tequila, a dash of Midori, a dash of tabasco.  I call it "fresas caliente."
He heads off to another customer at the end of the bar.
CHRIS
Okay.  So I knew exactly who you were when I walked in.  I'm actually here to talk to you.  And we have met.
ANDREW
Where?
CHRIS
At Erewhon market.
ANDREW
When?
CHRIS
I think it was 1992.
ANDREW 
You mean '82?
CHRIS
It hasn't happened yet.  I'm from the future.
ANDREW
Okay.  Sure. (LAUGHS).  I'm drunk.  So drunk, in fact, that I'm going to pretend you're not a lunatic and continue this discussion in a friendly manner, because you know what?
CHRIS
What?
ANDREW
I like your face.
CHRIS
Thank you.  You know, I'm like the person on the sidewalk that the stranger is always going to ask for directions. Or money. Or a light.
ANDREW
Touche. So, where in the future are you from?  Or should I say, "when"?
CHRIS
I travelled from Virginia in the year 2025.
ANDREW
Oh, like that song?  (Singing)...In the year, 2525, will you and me still be talkin' jive...
CHRIS
No, I'm from thirty-nine years from now, not five-hundred-thirty-nine.
ANDREW
So, where am I in 2025?
CHRIS
I can't really tell you anything about yourself unless it pertains to me; like when we meet at Erewhon.
ANDREW
Are you talking about the health food store on Beverly?
CHRIS
Yes.  I moved here in the early 90's and at some point meet you there around 1992.
ANDREW
Do we talk?
CHRIS
No.
ANDREW
Why not?
CHRIS
I don't know.  I mean, I'm shy.  I don't know about you.  But we were the only two people there.  We were waiting for smoothies or something.  I looked at you, realized who you were and then you realized I realized who you were and then I think you expected me to say something but then I didn't.
ANDREW
Why?
CHRIS
I told you.  I'm shy.
ANDREW
Can this event still happen once you've told me about it?
CHRIS
Yes.
ANDREW
How do you know?  I mean, what if I make a point not to go to Erewhon for the entirety of 1992 in order to ensure it doesn't happen?
CHRIS
Because this conversation is actually going on in my mind in 2025.
ANDREW
Hmmm.  So, we're not really here, but in your mind in 2025?  So you look like you're in your early 20's, like me more or less.  Is that how old you are in 2025?
CHRIS
No.  I'm 59.  But in January of 1986, I'm 20.
ANDREW
Okay, so if this is all in your mind, then you're making it up, so you're putting words into my mouth.  Further than that, you're putting a conversation into my past that never happened.
CHRIS
Yes, but who's to say I haven't astral projected back to this night and this is actually what you might have said if this unfolded the way it is in this moment?  That we're conversing in some parallel universe and that you are actually projecting your responses into my consciousness?  Based on energy exchanged between us sometime in...we're guessing...1992.
ANDREW
You're guessing.  Let's be clear about that.
CHRIS
Absolutely!
ANDREW
Speaking of Absolut...Carlos, can I get a refill?
Carlos looks up from a newspaper and gives a thumbs up.  Chris lifts his glass as well and Carlos nods.
CHRIS
(To Andrew) Do you want to see a picture of me from 1986?
ANDREW
Aren't I seeing the you from 1986 right now?  Shouldn't you ask me if I want to see a picture of you from 2025?
CHRIS
​Good point.
ANDREW
I gottta hit the loo.  Can you watch my stuff?
CHRIS
(CHUCKLES) Sure.
ANDREW
Why are you laughing?
CHRIS
I have this friend who always asks me to watch his stuff when he goes to the bathroom.  Oh, I notice you're a lefty, me too.

As Andrew exits, he hits his shoulder on the door frame.
ANDREW
Oww. (Laughs again).
He disappears into the back. Carlos places the next round in front of Chris, reluctantly pouring more vodka in Andrew's glass.
CARLOS
Isn't he supposed to be at the party that's on the TV right now?
CHRIS
He is.  It's just up the street.
CARLOS
He's not driving, is he?
CHRIS
I don't know.  But it's not far.  I can drive him...
CARLOS
(Looks at Chris' glass) I get off soon, maybe I could drive.  Are you going?
CHRIS
I--
The waitress returns with her tray.
WAITRESS
Carlos, I need two Sutter pinots...
Chris extends his finger and brings it to his nose.
CHRIS
Z...y...x...w...v...ahh...shit, I can't even do this when I'm stone sober...
Andrew returns and takes his seat.  He points at Chris's cigs.
ANDREW
Can I try one of those?
CHRIS 
Sure!
Andrew lights a DuMaurier.
ANDREW
These really are good.
CHRIS
So, wanna see me in 2025?
ANDREW
Sure.
Chris removes some photos from his pocket and hands one to Andrew.

ANDREW
Is that you on the right, with the beard?
CHRIS
Yeah.
ANDREW
You'd probably look a lot younger without that beard.  Who's the other guy?  Your boyfriend?
CHRIS
It's actually a cardboard cutout of Peyton Manning.  It's a long story.  
ANDREW
Oh, please!  This I gotta hear...
CHRIS
He's a huge football star.  A quarterback. Won a bunch of Superbowls.
ANDREW
Never heard of him.
CHRIS
He's nine years old right now.
ANDREW
You're dating a nine-year-old?
CHRIS
No!
ANDREW
You're dating a cardboard cut-out?
CHRIS
No, I'm married.
ANDREW 
I thought you said you were gay.
CHRIS
I am.  I'm married to a man.  Same sex marriage is legalized in 2015.
ANDREW
Really?
CHRIS
Yes.  We were all kind of surprised.
ANDREW
2025 doesn't look much different than now.  Except maybe for Bud Light.
CHRIS
Oh, that gets boycotted because of a drag queen--
ANDREW
What?
CHRIS
Or, I should say, a transgendered person.
ANDREW
The future sounds very...forward.
CHRIS
Yeah...it was.  Anyways, for those who might be reading this, here's one of me from now.
ANDREW
Like right now; or now, then?
CHRIS
Now, now.  1986.
ANDREW
This is starting to get complicated.

ANDREW
That's not a very good picture...
CHRIS
I know.  I was a super early advocate of the solo mustache, but the look never quite clicked for me.
ANDREW
I meant the quality of the image.
CHRIS
Oh.
ANDREW
So, what's going on there?  Why is there...what is that...an ironing board?
CHRIS
Well, that's taken in the dining room of the house I grew up in.  I used that room to work in a lot.  I was probably going to iron something or had just ironed something.  Actually, I'm working on an art project.
ANDREW
Oh?  What for.  Were you in art school?
CHRIS
No.  Film school.  But I did a lot of art during this period.  I was super influenced by Warhol.  I think it's multiples of the Statue of Liberty's face.  Looking back on that now, I can see it was really art therapy.
ANDREW
How?
CHRIS
I had OCD but didn't know what it was and I was trying to hide it.  It was really awful.  I was self-medicating...
ANDREW
How?
CHRIS
Like, stealing my dad's scotch and putting it in orange juice to knock myself out so I could sleep.  
ANDREW
Do you have clearer pictures?
CHRIS
Yeah.  See, I only felt I should show you pictures that were verifiably from 1986, like, with the date printed on the back.
ANDREW
Why?
CHRIS
I don't want to throw off the space-time continuum.
ANDREW
Oh, I won't tell if you won't.
CHRIS
Okay, here's some more...

ANDREW
Who are those two ladies?
CHRIS
Well, that's my mom in the black and white picture and my friend Kelly in the other.
ANDREW
And what's that black wand you have there?
CHRIS
Oh, that's called a swagger stick.  It's my dad's.  They used to give them to Marine Corps officers; I'm not sure what they were for.  To swagger around with, I guess. I still have it. 
ANDREW
Didn't Colonel Klink have one?
CHRIS
Yeah, he did!
ANDREW
So, you would wander around Virginia, posing with a swagger stick?
CHRIS
No...well, in 1986--I mean, now--I live in Massachusetts, about twelve miles north of Boston.
ANDREW
Oh, I'm from the East coast too.  New Jersey.
CHRIS
I know.  My first love was from the Garden State.
ANDREW
Oh, never fall in love with a Jersey boy.  We'll only break your heart.  And bust ya ballz!
CHRIS
New Jersey has it's day in the sun.  So, would you like to see a picture of me in 2025, right now, as this is unfolding in my head?
ANDREW
Sure Chris.  Give me some head...ah, err...that came out wrong...

CHRIS
That is me warts and all.  An unexpurgated, unretouched genuine Polaroid Instamatic from January 23rd, 2025.
ANDREW
You look like a character from Woody Allen's Interiors.
CHRIS
Oh wow!  Thanks!  I love that movie!
ANDREW
What's going on with the top of your head?
CHRIS
I think it was a bad batch of film.  Several were total blanks.
ANDREW
Why is the border black?  Do Polaroids get a makeover in the future?
CHRIS
Actually, yeah...
ANDREW
Do tell.
CHRIS
Well, remember that scene in the movie where you meet cute with Molly and do the "computer trick" with the pictures?
ANDREW
Of course...
CHRIS
Well, picture film comes to be replaced with computer generated images as the main source and real film kind of goes away, particularly Polaroid instant film.  But then it comes back in a smaller version with black borders instead of white.  That picture is like two inches by two inches.
ANDREW
That's weird.
CHRIS
Yeah and by 2025, computer tricks start getting too weird.  Too weird for my taste, anyways.  And porno.  More porno than you could ever think to dream of.  Things you would think people couldn't do; let alone want to do.
ANDREW
(LAUGHS)  Here's to tripple X! Oh, I meant to ask: just who will be reading this real or imagined conversation in your head and how?
CHRIS
Computers again.  Vast networks grow; like say, the library computer network at the high school in the movie.  Well that gets hooked up to other networks and then beyond that to bigger and bigger ones until it's like a global network of interconnected computer networks.  It's called the Worldwide Web and one of the first trends it generates is people writing what are called "blogs" which is a combo of "web" and "log."  And those are kind of like free-lance computer generated newspaper articles. You follow?
ANDREW
Yeah.  So that's what you do?
CHRIS
Yes; although actually, by 2025, blogging is kind of old-fashioned.  It becomes displaced by a whole other phenomenon of people generating their own videos.
ANDREW
Like MTV?
CHRIS
Actually, MTV kind of turns into a channel all about New Jersey.
ANDREW
You're kidding, right?
CHRIS
I wish I could say I was.
ANDREW
Speaking of MTV, I guess I better get to that party.  It's up on Vine.  Wanna come?
CHRIS
How are you getting there?
ANDREW
I was gonna walk.
CHRIS
Actually, me and Carlos could give you a ride.
Andrew drains his glass.
ANDREW 
Salud!  Vamonos!

CUT TO:
​INT. CAR -NIGHT

Andrew is curled up in the backseat with his head on the arm rest.  Carlos is driving as Chris sits with his chin resting on the back seat, talking to both.
CHRIS
Do they have seatbelt laws yet?
CARLOS
Shit, that's right--they just passed that law!  Oh well, next time...
ANDREW
Man this car is plush.  I think I'll take a nap back here.
CARLOS
Oh, Mister Andrew, I wanted to breathe chartreuse fire in honor of your movie, but the Hamlet frowns on that.
ANDREW
I can rest easy now Carlos.  But thank you just the same.  And I think I will take a little nap...

CARLOS
No Mr. Andy, you'll go to lalaland.
ANDREW
We're already in lalaland...
CHRIS
No, come on Andrew.  He's right.  Sit up now. 
ANDREW
So comfy...five more minutes...
CARLOS
If he goes out now, we'll never get him into that party conscious.  If he won't think about the professional repercussions, then we'll have to!
CHRIS
Find a Seven-Eleven; we're gonna have to Red Bull him!
CARLOS
Is that legal?
Chris climbs over the seat and tries to rouse Andrew.
CHRIS
Come on Andrew, we're going to get you some Red Bull!
CARLOS
Is that some new kind of speed?  
CHRIS
Oh, shit.  They don't make it yet...come on Andrew, sit up now.
He pushes Andrew into a sitting position and lightly taps his cheeks.
Andrew LAUGHS and MUMBLES and starts singing.
ANDREW
Matty told Hatty...let's don't take no chance...let's not be L-7's...come and learn to dance...wooly-bully...
CARLOS
Sing with him!
CHRIS
I don't know the words!  (Singing)  Wooly-bully!  Wooly-bully!
CARLOS
I know!  Come on Mr. Andrew...let's all sing it!  ...Play the game, you know you can't quit until it's won...
CHRIS
Soldier on, only you can do what must be done!  You know in some way, you're a lot like me--
CARLOS
You're just a prisoner and you're trying to break free!
ALL
(LOUD) I can see a new horizon, underneath the blazin' sky! I'll be where the eagles flyin' higher and higher! Gonna be your man in motion, all I needs this pair of wheels, take me where my future's lyin' St. Elmo's Fire!
ANDREW
Ooooh-ooooh--oooh-oooh-oooohooo!
CHRIS
Is there a restaurant around here?
CARLOS
The Brown Derby--
CHRIS
We need drugs right now Carlos, and that drug is caffeine!  A cuppa-cuppa, Joe, java-juice, downtown brown, Columbian Cabeza Cleaner!  Maxwell's Bean Blaster!  The Folger Five Flush! Are you hearin' what I'm layin' down Mr. C?
CARLOS
I'm on it!
He hits a hard right onto Vine and then bangs a Uie.
CHRIS
Double park!  I'll be right out!
Chris throws open the door and dashes out into the rainy night.

CUT TO:
INT. BROWN DERBY -NIGHT
Chris dashes into the dining room and looks around.  The place is crowded.  But something seems off.
CHRIS
Was this a retroraunt in '86?
He stops a WAITRESS who passes by in a super old-fashioned looking uniform.
CHRIS
Could I ask--
WAITRESS
You need to see the hostess, hon.  (She looks around)  Oh, where did she disappear to now?  Her tenth cigggie break in fifteen minutes.
CHRIS
I just need like a super large ice-coffee to go.
WAITRESS
Go where?
CHRIS
It's an emergency.  I have a friend I've got to sober up, pronto!
WAITRESS
Oh, I get the picture; doesn't want the little lady to know he's been out tomcattin' at some passion pit?
CHRIS
Ah, yes.  Yes!  Exactly.  Just put it in a to go cup.
WAITRESS
Honey, I don't know what that is; but you have a sweet mug.  I'm about to take my own break, so's I'll help a fellah out.
CHRIS
Thank you...(looks at her nametag)...Trixie...you're a gem!
She winks at him, snaps her gum and strides off. Chris looks closer at the patrons.  Their clothes seem to be circa mid 1950's.
CHRIS
(To himself)  I really might have messed up the space time continuum.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. CAR  -NIGHT
The rear door flies open and Chirs climbs in holding an aluminum coffee carafe and a tumbler of ice.
CHRIS
Thank God, you're still here!
CARLOS
Should I head over to the Palace?
CHRIS
Park behind the Taft building, and we'll sober him up.
CARLOS
On it!
CUT TO:
INT. CAR -NIGHT
Chris is attempting to apply ice to Andrew's pressure points.
ANDREW
So cold!
Andrew swats the ice away.
CHRIS
Handing a packet of NoDoz pills to Carlos) The waitress gave me these. Can you crush them up?
CARLOS
I'll try.  Is he gonna snort it?
CHRIS
No.  We're putting it in the coffee...
CARLOS
Oh!  Right.
He starts breaking up some of the pills with a car key.  Chris holds out the glass, Carlos dumps in the NoDoz and Chris pours coffee into the tumbler.
CHRIS
Andrew, come on, sit up.  Drink this.
He holds Andrew's head up and puts the tumbler to his lips.  
CHRIS
He's drinking it.
CARLOS
The package says it takes fifteen minutes to kick in.  In my experience though, usually all you get with this method is a wide-awake drunk.
CHRIS
That's fine.  We just gotta get him into the party and then you can keep an eye on him.  Oh, look, there's a big rain puddle.  Maybe we could stand him next to it and then drive the car through the puddle.
CARLOS
He's wearing a white shirt though.
CHRIS
Yeah.  How about we roll down the window and let some cold rain hit him?
CARLOS
Couldn't hurt.
Chris rolls down the window.  Rain blows in and hits Andrew's face.  He opens his eyes and looks up.  He points.
ANDREW
The Taffy building! (LAUGHS).
CHRIS
I work here in the future.
CARLOS
Oh, you got a job there?
CHRIS
Ah, yeah.  Twice actually; on different floors.

INSERT SHOT: DASHBOARD CLOCK
We see the clock move forward fifteen minutes in a FAST FOWARD.
ANDREW
(Mumble-singing) ...gotta be a manly motion...gotta get some brand new wheels...
CARLOS
He seems to be coming around.  Let's see if he has sea legs...
CHRIS
Good thinking!
EXT. PARKING LOT -NIGHT
Chris and Carlos get Andrew out of the car and start walking him.  He's a little wobbly but not a lost cause.
CHRIS
Oh, maybe this will help...
Chris retrieves the remainder of the ice.
CHRIS
Okay Carlos, hold him steady...
CARLOS
Got him.
Chris loosens Andrew's tie and then reaches up to his collars.  He pulls Andrew's shirt collar back and dumps the rest of the ice down the back of Andrew's shirt.  There is no reaction.
CARLOS
Okay, Andrew...we're just gonna walk a little ways here...we're gonna get you to that party...
ANDREW
(Still mumble-singing)...gonna get me to that party...it's my party and I'll cry if I want to...you would cry to, if--
Suddenly, Andrew seems to become painfully aware of the ice down his back whilst the NoDoz and coffee kick in.  He starts spazzing out.
ANDREW
Whhhooooo-ooooohhhhhh-ahhhh--ARRRRGHHH--COLD!  SO COLD! etc.etc.
CARLOS
Well, he's a man in motion now.
ANDREW
What's going on?  Is it snowing?
CHRIS
Carlos is gonna take you to the party.  It's just a couple of blocks.
Andrew seems to have been shocked into a near full state of sobriety.
ANDREW
Oh.  Aren't you coming?
CHRIS
No, thank you.  I'd love to but I can't.
ANDREW
Why not?  You're with me.  I'm the fucking star of the movie. 
Chris looks at him.
ANDREW
Well I'm on the poster!  Come on.
CHRIS
I can't. I have this feeling. I can't interact with more than two people at a time in this--
He glances at Carlos.
CARLOS
It's okay man.  I heard every word of your conversation at the bar.  Makes total sense to me.
Chris and Carlos shake hands. Chris turns to Andrew.
CHRIS
Go. Go be a movie star.  I'll see you in...(counts on his fingers) six years or so.
Sudddenly, Andrew grabs Chris in a bearhug.  Chris returns the gesture.
ANDREW
Don't look back.
CHRIS
I won't.  I'll be running the other way.
Andrew turns to Carlos.
CARLOS
Vamanos!
The pair head to the corner of Hollywood and Vine.  Chris gets back in the Olds turns the key and fiddles with the radio.  He pulls out on to Vine and heads north towards the 101.  As he passes Andrew and Carlos his hand hovers above the car horn.  He thinks a moment then doesn't hit it.  He is already forgotten to the night.  But he finds a song to drive to...

CFR   1/26/25

Okay, I'm pretty PINKed out at this point, so I want to wrap up whatever this was, like in 1986.
So, we were at the rehearsals for Swept Away; Duckie Dale's forthcoming theatrical extravaganza for Morninglory H.S. or whatever it is (it's actually never named in the movie, like "zoid").  Let's catch up!

FADE UP:
INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM -DAY
The CAMERA is CLOSE on a piece of sheet music.  It PANS over to a clipboard with a sign-in sheet that reads: AUDITIONS / SWEPT-AWAY MUSICAL. Numerous student signatures. The CAMERA TILTS UP and CLOSES on Andie, who is onstage at a microphone, SINGING to the accompaniment of a PIANO, an ACOUSTIC GUITAR and a FLUTE, courtesy of some of the BAND KIDS.  She's singing "Time After Time."  The CAMERA PANS back to the two figures at the table: Duckie and Mr. Byron, the English teacher. Duckie, who has heard Andie sing a million times and is inured, looks at his watch, which is lying on the table.  Mr. Byron is trying to hold back tears from what he's hearing: a lovely ballad, beautifully sung by a sort of melancholy young woman.
INT. AUDITORIUM -DAY
(Cont'd)
Duck glances at Mr. Byron who is doing his best to hold it together. Duckie elbows Mr. Byron.
DUCKIE
I know. She's great, right?  Okay Andie, thank you!  
The MUSIC stops abruptly and Andie exits stage left and takes a seat in the audience where other STUDENTS are gathered.  She pulls a chemistry textbook out of her bag, adjusts her glasses and buries her head.  Duckie picks up the clipboard.
DUCKIE
Okay, next we have--
DUCKIE
Okay, next we have..."Gina Trombley," please.  Gina?
GINA TROMBLEY comes to the table.
DUCKIE
What are you going to be singing?
GINA
For Your Eyes Only.
DUCKIE
Did you bring sheet music?
GINA
Yeah. (She holds it up).
DUCKIE
Great.  Give that to the pianist and start when you're ready.
Gina does as instructed.  The band kid at the piano turns and nods.  Gina starts singing the song.  She's very good and fairly belts the song.
Mr. Byron SINGS along quietly, clearly enthralled once more.  Duckie frowns and cuts Gina off after she's barely through the first verse.
DUCKIE
Okay!  Fabuloso.  Thank you.  Next!
Mr. Byron looks at the list.
MR. BYRON
Miss Hanson, you're next.  Miss--
GINA
She had a make-up test...so...
DUCKIE
Really?  I think her make-up is killer!
There is LAUGHTER. Mr. Byron gets up on the stage as Gina exits.
MR. BYRON
As you know, our drama teacher, Mrs. Strickland is on maternity leave, so I've been appointed as your moderator for the show.  So, I'm putting you in the hands of Mr. Dale.  I think his musical version of Lina Wertmullers "Swept Away by the...in the...well...whatever the rest of it is; and also the music video by Diana Ross, is nothing short of brilliant.  I really believe in his vision and think it will be a great show.  So good luck and please, come and see me truly, only if things are bordering on an emergency.  Break a leg!"
He trots back down to the table, says something to Duckie and leaves.  Duckie gets up on the stage.
DUCKIE
Guys, I'll be announcing the casting tomorrow; and just so you know; we are really kind of on our own here, which I have to admit, is a little scary.  But as long as I've got you all here, I just wanted to go over some of the dance moves.  Cheryl Shermanski and Craig Doyle have graciously volunteered their cheerleading skills to help with the choreography. Guys?  
Duckie starts CLAPPING and the other kids join in as students CHERYL SHERMANSKI and CRAIG DOYLE come out from the wings.  Cheryl is wearing her cheering outfit and Craig is pushing an A/V stand with a TV on it.
CHERYL
Okay, listen up guys.  We don't have a lot of time to learn these routines, so we're gonna be pushing you.
CRAIG
If everyone could come down to the front rows, I want to show you this video that Duckie was talking about at the last rehearsal.
The students move down as Craig puts a videocassette into a VCR and the TV screen flickers to life with a video.  Diana Ross' "Swept Away."
INT. -AUDITORIUM -DAY
(Continued)
While they watch the video, Duckie pops up behind Andie's seat.
DUCKIE
Can I talk to you for a second?
Andie nods and follows him to the far aisle, out of earshot.  They lean against the wall.
DUCKIE
Are you excited?
ANDIE
Yeah...about what exactly?
DUCKIE
You're my leading lady!
ANDIE
Really?  But--
DUCKIE
I wrote this for you.  And I have to say, you don't seem too excited...
ANDIE
Well, I am.  But I mean--
Andie notices as Steff comes into the room and takes a seat in the back.
DUCKIE
What?
ANDIE
Gina Trombley  blew the roof off her song.  And yesterday she danced circles around me.
DUCKIE
But I don't want her as Raffaella. 
ANDIE
She's one of the most popular girls in school.  Guaranteed sold out opening!
DUCKIE
Are you saying you don't--
He's interrupted by Cheryl from the stage.
CHERYL
Ah, hello?  Say, where is that girl who was so good yesterday?  The hat girl.
Everyone turns and looks at Andie.
CHERYL
What's your name?
ANDIE
Marissa.
CHERYL
Can you come up here please.  And where is he?  Where's Steff?
Steff is already sauntering down the aisle.  As he passes Duckie and Andie, he speaks.
STEFF
Well, come on, Marissa.
A look of grave concern crosses Duckie's face.  Maybe he really doesn't want Andie in this.  Andie is on the spot.  But she's also not all that disinterested.  She heads to the stage.  She and Steff stand to the side as Craig moves the TV stand away.
CHERYL
So, you saw in the video; and the steps we showed you yesterday, that this is a kind of French pas de deux type thing.  But we're turning it inot a pas de trois with two guys and a girl, 'cuz they're like fighting over her--and the chorus will be dancing around them.  (To Steff and Andie) And you guys really picked it up fast.  So Craig will be playing the third guy.  So, Marissa, if you could come over here...
Andie moves to where Cheryl is pointing.
ANDIE
Actually, Marrisa is my middle name.  You can call me Andie.
CHERYL
Don't you hang out in the zoid zone?
ANDIE
Where?
CHERYL
In the caf? Nevermind. Okay.  So, Steff, if you could come over here please...Craig's gonna show you the moves.
Steff walks over to Cheryl and Andie and looks at the ceiling.  Craig steps up to Andie and offers his hand.  They shake.
CRAIG
I just want to be honest.  This is gonna be kind of intimate.  Are you okay with that?
ANDIE
What?
Craig has already come up behind Andie and puts his arms around her waist.  She seems a little dazed.
CRAIG
We're all theater kids here, right.  We have to suffer for our art.
ANDIE
Huh?
CRAIG
Okay, Steff.  You're going to be doing exactly what I'm doing.  First--
Craig pulls Steff into position and begins manipulating people's limbs with zero concern.  He wraps Steff's hands around Andie's waist.
CRAIG
I want the palms of your hands flat against her hips.
Steff, for once in his life, seems nervous, ill at ease and maybe even at a loss.​

AND NOW, BACK TO OUR SCREENPLAY!

INT. AUDITORIUM -DAY
(continued)
Steff stands awkwardly behind Andie who looks rather like the proverbial deer in the headlights.  Craig steps back and looks at them with a critical eye.
CRAIG
Okay, so, she's just been flung by the chorus girls across the stage and ended up in this position.  Now Steff, you're going to take your right hand and cross it over to her left wrist and then pull her arm causing her to spin...let's try walking through that.
In a kind of slow-motion, Steff reaches for Andies wrist.  He slides his hand downwards, over her wrist and takes her hand, then gently spins her until his right arm is extended as is her left.
CRAIG
That looked great.  And now, Andie you're going to kinda, sorta try and get away from him by crossing in front.  Then you're going to break free of his grip, pause and he's going to get you with his left hand and then spin you back where you'll end up pressed against his chest.  Let's try that...
As this is going on, Duckie is furiously scribbling notes.  
We CUT TO a REVERSE ANGLE and see Blane come through the rear doors and sit in the shadows.
Again, Steff and Andie execute the moves as though they are Rogers and Astaire; they both remain emotionless.
CHERYL
Did you guys practice this at home?  That was amazing.  So, now they kiss, right?
Cheryl looks to Craig who looks to Duckie who doesn't look up.
DUCKIE
(Flipping through script, his voice low) Yes...
We CUT back to the auditorium door as Benny comes through, spots Blane and goes over and sits next to him.  We hear muffled "Hi"s
CHERYL
Guys, it's up to you; but I say just go for the gold, right Craig?
CRAIG
We're all pros here.
STEFF
Actually, we're not.  I will defer to the lady.
ANDIE
Well, it is in the script...

​A NOTE here: This scene is going on way too long.  The "rule" is: "get in early, get out early"; meaning, get to the meat of your scene without all the intro and outro.  E.G.: this scene should really pick-up with the Diana Ross video in progress.  The singing auditions should be a separate scene; which could easily be split up in a rewrite.  But I'm not rewriting this because I'm not actually getting paid to write a remake of Pretty In Pink.  And the scene should wrap up with the Big Kiss...

Now Duckie's in a spot.  If he tries to shut down the proceedings at this point, he's going to look like a jealous "L"oser; so he just waves his hands in the air with a "go on" motion.
CRAIG
Back to one please and let's try it with some music...
Cheryl hits play on a big yellow boombox and we hear Diana Ross' "Swept Away."  Andie and Steff execute the dance moves with a mesmerising fluidity.  When Andie looks up at him there is the briefest of pauses and when Steff goes to kiss her, there is a moment of hesitation.  She reaches up, lays her hand on his neck and pulls him into a kiss.  Time seems suspended as everyone looks on.  It seems as though this is a kiss for the ages.  One meant to be.  Kismet.  But not for Benny.  The CAMERA CLOSES on her shocked face.  She has to do something.  She pushes past a stricken looking Blane and marches down the main ailsle.
BENNY
(LOUDLY) Excuse me, is this an audition or a rehearsal, because I haven't seen a cast list yet.
Blane breaks away from the kiss and takes a step back from Andie, whose eyes are still closed.  Benny sashays over to Duckie and slaps a clipboard on the table.  
DUCKIE
Actually, the music audtions are over--
Benny glares at him.
DUCKIE
But we can always make an exception.
BENNY
Good. (Pointing at Band Kids)  Now do these dweebs know "He Had It Comin'"?
And with that she turns and pointedly stares at Steff.
DUCKIE
Well, if they don't, you can hum a few bars--
Benny marches onto the stage and grabs a microphone.  Andie is still standing there in a daze.
BENNY
(To Andie)  Hey, Cinderella.  Take ten.
The band kids are scurrying into position and Benny is already belting:
BENNY
(Singing, LOUDLY) 
He had it coming...!

INT. PROM -NIGHT
The TEACHERS are trying to keep the party from turning into a free-for-all.  COACH HARRIS mounts the stage and goes to the microphone.  
COACH HARRIS
Everyone, please, stop this at once!  
He covers the microphone with his hand and turns to Mr. Byron.
HARRIS
(To Byron) Did you see Dale's right hook? Boy, if they'd given even five percent of this effort in gym class we might've won state--
Mr. Byron spots Jena and leaps off the stage and goes to her.
MR. BYRON
Jena, please--you've got to do something.  They listen to you!
JENA
I'll try...
He helps her to the stage.  She goes to the mike and Coach Harris lowers it for her.
JENA
Guys.  Guys.  Hey, guys.  Guys?  This isn't what I meant by revolution...(To Harris and Byron)  They won't listen.
MR. BYRON
You might want to put a little more urgency into it...think, ah, Captain Ahab!
JENA
Oh, okay.  Arrgh!  Avast ye mateys!  Thar she blows!
COACH HARRIS
He wasn't a pirate.
JENA
Oh, okay.  I've got it.  This oughta do it...
Jena swallows some air, takes a beat and then BURPS one of the loudest burps ever burped.  SILENCE falls over the room and the fight comes to a complete stop.
MR. HARRIS
Kids, I know you don't want to listen to me.  You've spent the last four years not listening.  But I need you to hear this...I'm gay.
There is a COLLECTIVE RESPONSE from the crowd.
CROWD
We know!
MR. HARRIS
Really?  Well...okay...but what you might not know is that I went to this high school.  I'm an alumni of Meadowbrook which makes all of us fellows.  And you know what?  I wasn't a "richie" or a "zoid" I was just a kid.  I was in the middle.  If I wasn't at the smoking door with the burn-outs and the scuzz-heads I was in the Jock vestibule with the blockheads and the cupsniffers.  And if I wasn't with them, I was in the library with thee zoomdweebies and the pasteeaters.  And if not them, then the popcollars and the pennyloafingtrustdouchies.  I got along with everyone.  But I'm competitive.  So, in that spirit, we're going to have a little contest...(he leans down and picks up the Prom King crown).  And it's not going to involve this...
He drop-kicks the crown and it goes flying across the gym and through the basketball hoop.
HARRIS
We're going to dance this out.  This is the flippin' prom, people. It's a dance.  So let's dance!

Now, this would be good point to bring out the Psychedelic Furs who are the house band at the prom.  I mean, let's face it: their song Pretty In Pink is never going to not be part of this movie.  So let's double down.  Nay, triple down.  Nay, nay; QUADRUPLE DOWN and bring back several of their hit songs which would lend themselves quite nicely to these proceedings and breathe new life into some great songs!

RICHARD BUTLER, the lead singer of the band, takes his place at the microphone.
RICHARD BUTLER
One, two, three--
A DRUMBEAT and the song HEARBREAK BEAT starts.  The kids go nuts and start dancing like they just don't care.

I've been perusing Andrew McCarthy's tome, Brat: an 80's Story; as really, his documentary Brats is what led to all of this in the first place.  Is Andrew McCarthy my muse?  Well he is now!  One of them anyways. And we both went to inner-city Catholic schools, sort of.

And there he is again, leaning against a brick wall.  Wassup with the brick walls Andy?  I think there's a metaphor in there somewhere; if not an allegory!!!
I must say, I admire Mr. McCarthy's candor. But then, he is a Sagittarius.  In the book he writes about the Pretty In Pink premiere and after-party and that the whole thing was filmed for MTV, one of the hosts being the odd choice of Fee Waybill from the Tubes.  Remember Fee?  Remember the Tubes?  Fee, I think we can all agree, has had perhaps one of the more unusual show-biz careers one can think of, off the top of one's head.  I mean, he was in Xanadu.  I think that says it all.  Let's take a look!

You know what's funny?  That is the first time I've seen that scene.  I mean, I have the soundtrack album; but I've never seen the movie.  Like, why didn't I see it in 1980, first run, at the Saugus Cinema?  It was right up my alley.  There's really no good reason why I've never seen it.  I mean, I've seen scenes; but never the whole movie from start to finish.  And it's become like a Queer/Cult type thing.  It got transposed to Broadway.  What's the deal Chris?  Why do you refer to yourself in the third person, Chris?  Chris, are you okay?  What's the frequency, Chris?
But back to Fee Waybill...
He's like, 74 now, God love him.  And he looks fabulous.  I always thought there was something cute about him, in that sort of non-traditional way.  You know, like Harry Dean Stanton or Peter Stormare.

I remember one time, at some MTV event, Mr. Waybill was hosting (like, how long was he an MTV employee?) and the members of A-ha arrived on some red carpet and Mr. Waybill could simply not contain his exuberance over the Norwegian good looks of the lead singer, Morten Harket.  Remember how nuts people were over that "Take On Me" song and it's video?  I wasn't.  I actually preferred (and still do), there other song that was a sort of hit, "The Sun Always Shines On TV."  Let's take a look!

Well, I guess they were all kind of stunning.  So who could blame Mr. Waybill for wanting to bask?  But it sure made my eyebrows go up!
So, in regards to Mr. McCarthy's honesty...he writes about leaving the premiere of the movie to go across the street to the Hamburger Hamlet to get crocked on straight vodka before the after party.  I found a recording of this event and it's promotional MTV program, complete with the original TV commercials.  What I find truly odd is that the star of the movie is nowhere to be seen.  Apparently Molly Ringwald had recently had her wisdom teeth removed and wasn't quite camera ready?  Which begs a lot of questions regarding scheduling; but I digress.  So, let's all watch this historical video document and meet back here in an hour or so!  Andrew appears at around the 37 minute mark.

And again, I must ask myself...why did I not see this at the time?
So, you want tangents?  You got 'em!  I was wondering about the night of the Pretty In Pink premiere.  Like, I wasn't there.  Duh.  But where was I?  Like, where was Chris Reidy in the space time continuum while all of Hollywood was toasting the night with PINK champagne?  So, as is my wont, I did a bit of research.  The Pretty In Pink premiere was held at Grauman's Chinese theater in Hollywood, California on the evening of Wednesday, January 29th, 1986.  And the after-party was at The Hollywood Palace (now Avalon nightclub), which is on Vine Street, basically across the street from the famous Capitol Building. 1735 North Vine Street.  Here are some further locational stats:

Meanwhile, I was definitely in the state of Massachusetts.  More than likely in the City of Boston.  I was a Sophomore in college, at BU.  I had an evening job at "Telefund," which was BU's fundraising division.  Basically, it was a room full of students, calling alumni and hitting them up for moolah.  Or "donations," as the term went.  Telefund was located at 19 Deerfield Street, just off of Kenmore Square, in the shadow of the world famous Citgo sign:

The sign may have actually been on the roof of the building.  But if not, then certainly the one next door.

Taking the three hours difference into account; if the PIP screening started at 6pm, I more than likely would've been at work and then on my way home, on a bus or something, while all Hollywood was spilling bottles of PINK CHAMPAGNE and rocking out to the P-Furs, who seemed to have zero problem lending their song and themselves to the efforts of the movie, at the time.
It was raining in Los Angeles that night:

The Hollywood Palace, so named at the time, was built in the late 20's as a theater, called the Hollywood Playhouse.

And as it looks today, as "Avalon."

And how it looked on Wednesday night, 1/29/86:

I was wondering about that large bay window above the canopy.  I tried to find interior pictures of the building to see the window from the inside.  My thought was: Did Molly gaze out that window that night, as she was nursing a swollen face and couldn't do publicity; and gaze out into the rainy night and wonder about...what?  What would she be wondering about?  Or did Andy McCarthy more than likely stand there and wonder about something?  Like, should he drive, as he was admittedly three sheets to the wind.  Or did he walk there?  But nobody walks in L.A.  Did he ask James Spader for a ride?  I mean, James had a car...
That building is almost 100 years old.  Isn't it weird to think that someone, a freakin' century ago, sat down at a drawing board and designed everything from the front door to the bay window to the mens room urinals?

And who knew that one day I'd be working in the Taft building which is just a few blocks south of The Palace?  You may recall the Taft building getting destroyed in 1974's Earthquake (in Sensurround).

The Taft bites the dust around the 40 second mark.  Good times!  And here's a view of Vine street looking south.  The Capitol building would be on your immediate left.  The Palace is the white building to the right; and the Taft would be where the building with the sign on top is.  The intersection of Hollywood and Vine, which is famous for some reason, as there is really not much there to see or do.  The Pantages theater.  The Broadway Department store which hasn't been a department store for quite some time...

The most interesting picture from the premiere, is, I think, this one of George Michael, who arrived apparently solo and most decidedly nipples to the wind:

Seems like Mr. M liked to travel light...
​Now, you may ask yourself, why am I so concerned with an event that I wasn't even at?  I guess because I feel, in a way, I can project myself back into it somehow.  If not to see the big picture, then retroactively feel it?
Just call me Chris "Marcel Proust" Reidy.  And I have tried to read Proust, but merde, I really just cannot get into it...
Please see Pretty In Pink part 11 and really, I am gonna try and wrap this up!

CFR   1/16/25

ADDENDUMS:
Here's me in March of '86, a couple of months after the PIP premiere.  No parakeets were harmed in the making of this photo!

​Also, me in 1991, documenting my own facial swelling after my own wisdom teeth extraction, which begs the question as to why Molly had hers removed so early.  Or did I have mine removed late?

Let us consider JANUS...

Well, it doesn't seem as though she had much to do with the winds; but she is often invoked regarding lost things; and so many people have lost so much in the past few days.  And I feel we should also pray to the Greek winds.  It is said that prayer works, even when people don't know they're being prayed for.  So, I say we pray to All that have been; past and present and future.

Looking back at a memory... 
I was recently writing about a Hollywood movie premiere I attended back in 1992 at Grauman's Chinese Theater.  I mentioned that my own "companion" for the event was "Fred," a fellow I worked with at the time who I had an intense, short-lived friendship with.  One I look back on with bittersweet...well, I won't say regret, because I don't regret anything about our relationship.  But, I suppose, melancholy.  One of those, "what if" sitches.  Here's a picture of the two of us back when we worked on Melrose Place:

Fred is the tall one.  Although, at 5'9", I never really thought of myself as short. It's funny the things you remember.  I remember this picture being taken. The summer of 1992.  I remember exactly where it was  It was on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles, just on the other side of Melrose Place, where we worked at a "boutique" literary/talent agency.  In fact, it's in the 8400 hundred block of Melrose.  And now that we can basically visit most any place in the civilized world right now via the Interwebmachine, let's look at that spot now...or close to now...

Let's move in closer...

Why does this fascinate me?
Do our shadows remain?
Did anyone else ever stand in that spot for a picture?
What, if anything, will be in that spot 50 years from now?  100?  1000?
Melrose Place may have had a famous TV show; but there was never an apartment building there.  It was mostly antique stores and interior decorators when I traversed the thoroughfare.  The building that housed "Robinson, Weintraub and Gross" had been a home at one point.  Let's look at that today...

It is now home to a a skin-care and eyelash salon(s).  When I worked there, I was told it was originally the home of Janet Gaynor, forgotten movie star of yore and her husband, Adrian, forgotten costumer of yore.

Janet, I believe, was in the very first version of "A Star Is Born." I also recall being told that Adrian had committed suicide, which I did not know then and seems debateable now.  I was told he hanged himself somewhere in that very house.  I do not know if that is true either.  We had several fabulists in that office.
​I know there's another picture of me on Melrose Place.  As a matter of fact, I remember exactly where that one was taken as well.  At the corner of Melrose Place and Croft Ave.

Apparently the neighborhood is getting more high end retail.  There's a Balmain and a Bottega Veneta there now.  The corner building used to hug that corner a lot closer.  I think there was a planter built into the building.  I'll have to find the picture.  In fact, I have to find several pictures for the rest of this, because I'm going to be supplying ADDENDUMS to other blogs that I've been recalling; and as I'm something of a completist (that is, when I actually complete something); I want to completely complete it!  If possible.
I would tell you more about Fred; but I'm not sure if at this point in his life he's a "public" or a "private" person; that is to say, he's between businesses.  Now, I feel if he has a public business up and running, then he's a public figure.  But sometimes he doesn't, so then I feel he's private.  But he is on Facebook, which is public, so I'll post a picture of him that's more from now than 1992.

See, he's always with women; which is what probably put the kibosh on our friendship. Particularly that time he got married. Whole other blog. That might be his wife.

Fred had a big personality.  Has a big personality (he's still kickin').  I found a picture of him in a moving van (him, not the picture) and I had to laugh.  He roped me into helping him move once, when we had just met.  He was persuasive.  He had me traipsing all over Manhattan Beach and environs with him back in the day when he was starting up one of his businesses.  I'm talking like friggin' DOOR TO DOOR soliciting.  Man, I hated that shit since grammar school with the door to door fundraising candy. Almost made me hate chocolate. HATED IT!  But I did it for him.  And yeah, I miss him.  It's hard to make friends.  And it gets harder as you get older.  And it's something men really seem to neglect.  Anyways, keep your friends close.  The ones you figure out were your real ones, that is.  But I have a loyalty when it comes to that.  Even with the friends who weren't very good ones.  Crazy?  You bet!  Why?  I'm not really sure.  But if Fred starts up another business, I'll keep you posted.  Who knows, you may just require his services!

So, let's leave Fred in the past for now and look at something else...
THIS JUST IN...
This is something that has just come across my metaphysical desk.  Coincidence?  I don't know?  But this struck me as something highly unusual; but as stuff like this happens to me all the time nowadays, maybe I should just say it's "usual."  I've posted this picture in another blog in a discussion about synchronicity.  It's  taken at the Onslow Beach parking lot in Camp Lejeune, NC, which is a Marine Corps base.

On my recent birthday, my husband gave me a copy of the picture in a frame that was in the shape of a blue, VW bus.

Now, that is not my family.  It's more than likely the picture that comes with the frame.  Interesting that there is a row of palm trees.  Also interesting how much the little girl looks like my sister Kate at that age.  So, it's been sitting on our kitchen counter for a while now as I think about it where it will "live" in the house.
​Fast forward to tonight and this comes up on my phone:

Talk about things that make you go hmmmmm.  And the bus is pointing to the west, I'm assuming, like the picture frame.  The bus is pointing east in the picture of my family (that's me in the baby seat).  Joseph asked me when he gave me the picture if I would prefer if he "flipped" the photo so that we were facing towards the front (of the frame).  I said, "No, I like it that way."  And of course, I've been invoking Saints and Gods and gods and praying lately. Now, I'm not saying that my mother, who passed away this last summer, is sending a message from Heaven, to me or to anyone reading this.  But I'm also not saying she's not.  Or whoever.  You know what I mean?  It's kinda like the gal who claimed she was Elvis' long lost daughter in that documentary said: "Now, my mama never said that Elvis was my daddy; but she never said he wudn't, neither."
Funny side note.  Joseph was looking at the picture of my family in the van and said: "I never realized how busty your mother was."  I laughed.  "That's not all her," I said.  "That's a blue towel or something..."  Actually, it might be one of those kids, blue plastic beach pails.  Look close and you'll see the mistake.  I guess the VW in LA is called "Azul"?  I don't think that picture of my family in the VW could be more "about" Azul.  The color and the concept.  Some more connections:

I'm happy to report that my full-length (and then some!) screenplay (or Deluxe TV Limited Series-play) is up and available on Amazon now!  The Kindle version.  A softcover is available as well!  The formatting is a tad wonky for a screenplay (the Kindle version; the book is terrif!); but I'm pretty sure all the spelling is correct.  And both, so very affordable!
​GET YOUR COPY NOW, WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!

More updates to come!
Ciao!

​CFR   1/9/25
UPDATES!
Here's a convenient link to Amazon to secure and procure your very own copy of Heartfight!
www.amazon.com/HEARTFIGHT-Screenplay-Christopher-Reidy-ebook/dp/B0DSLL4HHZ/ref=monarch_sidesheet_image

Now, I was checking out the Kindle version and I must confess it reads a bit like an E.E.Cummings poem.  Also, just learned he's a Masshole; so I'm gonna take it!  Good company!  And the preview of the hardcopy looks, as the Trumpster might say: "Perfect."  Or "Perfect, perfect." Like a phone call.  But you don't have to even pick up a phone, I mean, unless you purchase the whimsical Kindle version, on which you can read it.  But don't you really want the beautiful softback book, to put on your shelf?  A family heirloom to pass down to the next generations?  Yes!  Yes you do!  So CLICK now!  Operators are standing by!

I know that like so many people, I'm stunned and upset by the fires in the greater Los Angeles area.  I lived there for a long time, so it's especially troubling to me and very easy for me to put myself in the shoes of everyone going through this.  I have several good friends there that I'm concerned about.  I worked in the entertainment industry.  This is going to effect it and the people who work within it.  It's frustrating.  It's wildfire.  No matter how hard we wish, we can't change or stop it.  So, the only thing we can do is hope and pray.  I was shocked when I heard that Runyon Canyon was in flames.  That park is literally two streeets above where I used to live on Franklin Avenue.  

In the above photo, my cat, the late, great Paco; is lying on the bed in my bedroom on Franklin. Above his head, to the left was a long window.  If I still lived there and looked out that window over the past couple of nights, I would've seen a glowing orange/red sky and probably ash floating down and embers as well.  It's crazy.  
So, I just thought that in writing this I could express my concern and frustration and desire to help.  Los Angeles, for all it's supposed immorality and wicked ways, has perhaps the most religious name of any city in the United States: El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles del Rio Porciuncula.  In English: The Town of Our Lady the Queen of the Angels of the River Porciuncula.  I guess the LA river was once called the Porciuncula. so that water is built into the name I will see as a good omen.  And there has always been talk of "revitalizing" the LA River; and I really hope that happens.  There are parts of it that have sort of gone back to the wild and if you visit them, it is something to see.  Filled with wildlife and birds who have returned to disused parts.  It really is a case of "build it and they will come."  How cool would it be to float on an inner-tube on a lazy river ride through the heart of Los Angeles?  It can be done.  A river runs through the heart of Roanoke city and in the summer, tons of people do it.  It's really kind of awesome and I think really brings a sense of community.

How cool would that be in Los Angeles?
I said that no matter how hard we "wish" we can't change or stop fire.  I should clarify that what I meant is that we can't stop it from happening. It's Nature (usually, hopefully)/ But the professionals out there who brave their lives fighting fires like this; well, they're the ones we depend on to change and stop it.  So it also for them that I want to invoke the Saints and Angels for everyone battling this: physically, emotionally, financially...
Santa Monica.  Here's another water connection.  Santa Monica, the city, is named for a spring that was named "Las Lagrimas" in the 1700's by Father Juan Crespi because it reminded him of the tears of Saint Monica, which she shed for her "wayward" son, Augustine.  I was delighted to see these springs still exist; something I did not know until just now.

I was just writing the other night about a premiere I attended in 1992 at Grauman's Chinese Theater, which is a stone's throw from where one of the fires broke out.  Billy Crystal was at that event with his family and I heard last night that he had lost his house, which is, of course, tragic.  I'm happy they are safe.  This fire was also very close to the Hollywood sign, which some have erroneously reported caught fire.  I don't want to lecture here; but I do think this might be a good time for the industry to examine it's tendency to destroy the world over and over and over again in movies.  You know, by the third or fourth Roland Emmerich flick, I know I was over it.  But I won't dwell on that.
Los Angeles is a town full of actors, filmmakers and writers and TV, too.  So, here are some more Saints that I know I'll be praying to tonight and in the coming months.
Saint Genisius, Patron Saint of Actors:

St. Francis de Sales, Patron Saint of Writers (one of several, most who seem to have been bald):

St. Clare of Assissi, Patron Saint of Television:

Saint Veronica, Patron Saint of Filmmakers and Photographers (as she had wiped Christ's face and His image remained):

And finally, Saint Florian, who is the Patron Saint of Firefighters:

And so fire summons fire.  And hopefully fights fire.  And ignites HOPE.
I hope this message helped someone.

Okay...
We are wrapping this, people!  We're gonna do Molly's scenes first and then finish up with some final thoughts in what will probably be part 10.  So, here goes.

FADE UP:
INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM -DAY
The CAMERA is CLOSE on a piece of sheet music.  It PANS over to a clipboard with a sign-in sheet that reads: AUDITIONS / SWEPT-AWAY MUSICAL. Numerous student signatures. The CAMERA TILTS UP and CLOSES on Andie, who is onstage at a microphone, SINGING to the accompaniment of a PIANO, an ACOUSTIC GUITAR and a FLUTE, courtesy of some of the BAND KIDS.  She's singing "Time After Time."  The CAMERA PANS back to the two figures at the table: Duckie and Mr. Byron, the English teacher. Duckie, who has heard Andie sing a million times and is inured, looks at his watch, which is lying on the table.  Mr. Byron is trying to hold back tears from what he's hearing: a lovely ballad, beautifully sung by a sort of melancholy young woman.

Here's the young woman, grown up...

INT. AUDITORIUM -DAY
(Cont'd)
Duck glances at Mr. Byron who is doing his best to hold it together. Duckie elbows Mr. Byron.
DUCKIE
I know. She's great, right?  Okay Andie, thank you!  
The MUSIC stops abruptly and Andie exits stage left and takes a seat in the audience where other STUDENTS are gathered.  She pulls a chemistry textbook out of her bag, adjusts her glasses and buries her head.  Duckie picks up the clipboard.
DUCKIE
Okay, next we have--

This is interesting.  In the original version of J. Hughes' script, "Benny" is first just named as "Girl."  And her friend "Trombley" is first just a "Girl" as well.  "Trombley" is never really named in his "5th Draft."  She was played by Gina Gershon in what may have been her first role.  I don't think she even has a single word of dialogue.  But she makes an impression.  The young woman who played Benny, I thought, was really good too (Kate Vernon).  Anyways, I think we need to give "Trombley" a first name; so how about "Gina"?  Works for me!

DUCKIE
Okay, next we have..."Gina Trombley," please.  Gina?
GINA TROMBLEY comes to the table.
DUCKIE
What are you going to be singing?
GINA
For Your Eyes Only.
DUCKIE
Did you bring sheet music?
GINA
Yeah. (She holds it up).
DUCKIE
Great.  Give that to the pianist and start when you're ready.
Gina does as instructed.  The band kid at the piano turns and nods.  Gina starts singing the song.  She's very good and fairly belts the song.

Mr. Byron SINGS along quietly, clearly enthralled once more.  Duckie frowns and cuts Gina off after she's barely through the first verse.
DUCKIE
Okay!  Fabuloso.  Thank you.  Next!
Mr. Byron looks at the list.
MR. BYRON
Miss Hanson, you're next.  Miss--
GINA
She had a make-up test...so...
DUCKIE
Really?  I think her make-up is killer!
There is LAUGHTER. Mr. Byron gets up on the stage as Gina exits.
MR. BYRON
As you know, our drama teacher, Mrs. Strickland is on maternity leave, so I've been appointed as your moderator for the show.  So, I'm putting you in the hands of Mr. Dale.  I think his musical version of Lina Wertmullers "Swept Away by the...in the...well...whatever the rest of it is; and also the music video by Diana Ross, is nothing short of brilliant.  I really believe in his vision and think it will be a great show.  So good luck and please, come and see me truly, only if things are bordering on an emergency.  Break a leg!"
He trots back down to the table, says something to Duckie and leaves.  Duckie gets up on the stage.
DUCKIE
Guys, I'll be announcing the casting tomorrow; and just so you know; we are really kind of on our own here, which I have to admit, is a little scary.  But as long as I've got you all here, I just wanted to go over some of the dance moves.  Cheryl Shermanski and Craig Doyle have graciously volunteered their cheerleading skills to help with the choreography. Guys?  
Duckie starts CLAPPING and the other kids join in as students CHERYL SHERMANSKI and CRAIG DOYLE come out from the wings.  Cheryl is wearing her cheering outfit and Craig is pushing an A/V stand with a TV on it.
CHERYL
Okay, listen up guys.  We don't have a lot of time to learn these routines, so we're gonna be pushing you.
CRAIG
If everyone could come down to the front rows, I want to show you this video that Duckie was talking about at the last rehearsal.
The students move down as Craig puts a videocassette into a VCR and the TV screen flickers to life with a video.  Diana Ross' "Swept Away."

INT. -AUDITORIUM -DAY
(Continued)
While they watch the video, Duckie pops up behind Andie's seat.
DUCKIE
Can I talk to you for a second?
Andie nods and follows him to the far aisle, out of earshot.  They lean against the wall.
DUCKIE
Are you excited?
ANDIE
Yeah...about what exactly?
DUCKIE
You're my leading lady!
ANDIE
Really?  But--
DUCKIE
I wrote this for you.  And I have to say, you don't seem too excited...
ANDIE
Well, I am.  But I mean--
Andie notices as Steff comes into the room and takes a seat in the back.
DUCKIE
What?
ANDIE
Gina Trombley  blew the roof off her song.  And yesterday she danced circles around me.
DUCKIE
But I don't want her as Raffaella. 
ANDIE
She's one of the most popular girls in school.  Guaranteed sold out opening!
DUCKIE
Are you saying you don't--
He's interrupted by Cheryl from the stage.
CHERYL
Ah, hello?  Say, where is that girl who was so good yesterday?  The hat girl.
Everyone turns and looks at Andie.
CHERYL
What's your name?
ANDIE
Marissa.
CHERYL
Can you come up here please.  And where is he?  Where's Steff?
Steff is already sauntering down the aisle.  As he passes Duckie and Andie, he speaks.
STEFF
Well, come on, Marissa.
A look of grave concern crosses Duckie's face.  Maybe he really doesn't want Andie in this.  Andie is on the spot.  But she's also not all that disinterested.  She heads to the stage.  She and Steff stand to the side as Craig moves the TV stand away.
CHERYL
So, you saw in the video; and the steps we showed you yesterday, that this is a kind of French pas de deux type thing.  But we're turning it inot a pas de trois with two guys and a girl, 'cuz they're like fighting over her--and the chorus will be dancing around them.  (To Steff and Andie) And you guys really picked it up fast.  So Craig will be playing the third guy.  So, Marissa, if you could come over here...
Andie moves to where Cheryl is pointing.

​SIDE NOTE: In Hughes' original script and some references to the film, Andie and her group of outsider friends are known as "Zoids."  I guess, maybe, as in "freakazoid"?  Like from that old dance song maybe?

However, the term "zoid" is never used in the movie as far as I remember; although "richie" is; which is what the rich kids are known as, to Andie and her fellow "zoids," apparently.  So, I think the term needs to make an appearance here.

ANDIE
Actually, Marrisa is my middle name.  You can call me Andie.
CHERYL
Don't you hang out in the zoid zone?
ANDIE
Huh?
CHERYL
Nevermind. Okay.  So, Steff, if you could come over here please...Craig's gonna show you the moves.
Steff walks over to Cheryl and Andie and looks at the ceiling.  Craig steps up to Andie and offers his hand.  They shake.
CRAIG
I just want to be honest.  This is gonna be kind of intimate.  Are you okay with that?
ANDIE
Huh?
Craig has already come up behind Andie and puts his arms around her waist.  She seems a little dazed.
CRAIG
We're all theater kids here, right.  We have to suffer for our art.
ANDIE
Huh?
CRAIG
Okay, Steff.  You're going to be doing exactly what I'm doing.  First--
Craig pulls Steff into position and begins manipulating people's limbs with zero concern.  He wraps Steff's hands around Andie's waist.
CRAIG
I want the palms of your hands flat against her hips.
Steff, for once in his life, seems nervous, ill at ease and maybe even at a loss.

Okay, so you learn something new every day.  The dance they do in the Diana Ross "Swept Away" video is a classic French dance called La Danse Apache.  We've all seen some form of it.  And it can be way more violent than I would've thought.  That Duckie would want this in his play could make for some super drama-rama!  And comedy too.  Of course, I'm not writing a full script of this...or am I???  Here's a video and a link:
​  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apache_(dance)