Where were we?
Well, I was complaining about GQ magazine and its effect/affect on my life. I think we tend to underestimate how much something like a magazine can influence our life. I mean, how many ladies do you know who took Cosmopolitan magazine quizzes seriously? Or men for that matter? And yes, you probably just chuckled, but you've taken your fair share, I'm guessing. We also underesimate, I think, just how much advertising influences our life choices. Advertising is perhaps the most ubiquitous, unasked for element in our lives; particularly American lives. It's so ingrained we don't even question it. We don't really even think to question it. So, I think bitching about how a magazine may have misled me on certain things is totally relves!
So, back to bocce. Oh, what the frig even is bocce? Let's start with that.
The other thing GQ seems to me to be about nowadays is being rich. Like this whole mindset:
So is the magazine about me, me, me, selfishness? I would say, yes, yes, yes. Why else is the magazine so obsessed with wristwatches? Who even tells time by a wristwatch nowadays (except me)? Or is a wristwatch a way to wear the "rain" on your wrist and status it up in the process? Yes. Why else would the magazine tout watches that cost upwards of $50,000.00 on a regular basis, as though, yeah, sure...my entire year's salary plunked down on one excursion to Watches of Switzerland? Sure. It's an investment bro!
In any event, the magazine's latest issue actually has a financial plan laid out for readers of the magazine. I suppose it's the GQ Financial Plan:
But I preach. I'm a Sagiitarius. Apparently we're known for--
CHRISTOPHER REIDY!
Huh, what, who said that?
It's me, Tori...
Oh, hai Tori! What brings you by? Aren't you a little tied up right now dancing with your fellow Stars?
I've already been voted off.
What!??!
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't really watch that show...
And I don't really dance, so... But what I do, do, is spell correctly.
Uhh-huhhhhhh...well, my dancing skills are not my, shall we say, forte either.
We're talking about your spelling now.
Whadaidoo?
You keep misspelling Sagittarius.
Do I?
You know you do. And I would think as often as you mention it, you would've learned how to spell it right, if simply by default. Or osmosis. Sometimes you spell it with two "g"s. Sometimes with one "t." It's S-A-G-I-T-T-A-R-I-U-S.
Well, I've never spelled it S-A-G-G-I-T-T-A-R-R-I-O-U-S.
Are you sure about that?
No.
Well knock it off. Or stop going on about the zodiac and saying you're "not really into it."
But I'm not.
Okay how about you come up with some kind of little mnemonic device?
What now?
A mnemonic device. It helps you remember something.
I think you spelled it wrong.
No. I spelled it right.
No you put an "M" there.
It's supposed to be there.
So it's a silent "M"? Whoever heard of a silent "M"? I mean a silent "K," sure. Or a silent "G." Yeah. But a silent "M"? There's no such thing.
Yes there is. It's right there. In the word "mnemonic."
Okay, if you say so. But it must be the only word that has one. Is it?
Look it up. I've gotta run. I've gotta get to the Capezio store and return these shoes. They have a thirty day return policy and it's day thirty; and they're like the Shoe Police at that place.
Okay. Oh! How about this? Since it has two "t"s and a centaur is always shirtless and nip-slippin' I can remember it by thinking about titties! Tori? Oh, she's gone...
Do I have any more to say about GQ? Actually I do; but I think I will do it in another blog. I've got some other things to finish; but knowing me, I'll probably start new blogs without finishing other ones. And I don't want you to think I HATE GQ magazine. If anything it's a LOVE/HATE kind of thing. And there are sometimes things in it I love. For example, Giorgio Armani. Now, before it starts to look like my mentioning of Armani and his products is some kind of product placement, I'd like to remind you that this website has thus far generated ZERO $$$$. Perhaps it's sold a few of my books; by osmosis. So again: ZERO $$$$. That being said.
You ever watch a movie set in the future and they want you to know it's the future so they screw around with mens suit-jackets. Because, in the future, for some reason, mens suit-jackets are not going to look they way they've looked for the past couple of hundred years? So the costume designer screws around with the button placement or adds a zipper or two or usually screws around with the lapels. And you know how it never looks right? And you're thinking, well, they minimized that lapel so much, it now looks like a women's suit-jacket? You know that thing? Well, someone has managed to do it today. For real. In the real world. And it's none other that The House of Armani. I wouldn't have thought it was possible. But they did it. And it was in the pages of GQ:
Yeah, so, I love Armani so much, if the Armani people asked me to do a TV commercial I would. And not only that, I'd do it for FREE!