Well that was certainly not gay, was it?
Wasn't it?
Wait, what?
Kinda gay.
But it's a man. And that's clearly a woman. And they're hooking up...by boat.
You mean cruising?
Well, a boat cruise, sure...and what the heck does "batching" mean. Is that another gay thing?
I don't know; but "cruising" sure is. Shall I offer my interpretation?
Well, you're going to anyways. I'm listening.
Let me ask you this. How many women do you know who would go over to the watercraft of a man they didn't know, lured by signal flags for what the announcer is telling us is basically a "hook-up"?
I don't know, two? Three?
Not. But two men might...
Wasn't it?
Wait, what?
Kinda gay.
But it's a man. And that's clearly a woman. And they're hooking up...by boat.
You mean cruising?
Well, a boat cruise, sure...and what the heck does "batching" mean. Is that another gay thing?
I don't know; but "cruising" sure is. Shall I offer my interpretation?
Well, you're going to anyways. I'm listening.
Let me ask you this. How many women do you know who would go over to the watercraft of a man they didn't know, lured by signal flags for what the announcer is telling us is basically a "hook-up"?
I don't know, two? Three?
Not. But two men might...
Are you implying that the two gentlemen in the above photo are "cruising" and about to have a "hook-up"?
I'm not, but it sure seems as though the photographer is.
If I'm not mistaken, that's George Clooney on the float and Brad Pitt poolside; or is that a fountain? Or a wading pool? Or, like that big rectangular thing near Lincoln's memorial--
The Reflecting Pool?
I guess so.
But yes, it is Msr.s Clooney and Pitt.
They're a power couple?
Aren't they?
I guess so. Of sorts. Say, did you ever wonder what would happen if you waded into the reflecting pool?
Yes.
Me too! When I was a kid, we went to Our Nation's Capitol quite a bit and I often was tempted, as any child would be, to jump inot the reflecting pool. Because, you know, in big cities, people will often do that sort of thing, especially if it's like wicked hot out. I remember my mom put the kibosh on that idea. "You don't want to go in there. It's full of garbage and muck. You'll get sick!" Who knew my mom would be so metaphorically prescient about Our Nation's Capitol?* Okay, so back to that commercial. What's your take? And is it "gaysploitation"?
You know, that commercial is actually quite fascinating. It's doing several things at once. It's appealing to heterosexual folks; both the men who would wear Canoe and the ladies who would more than likely purchase it for them. But it's also literally signalling gay men as well--I wouldn't say exploiting. I would say selling to indirectly.
How?
Well, this was a period when the gay male lifestyle was finally coming out of the closet and accepted; and thus seen as lucrative to businesses and advertisers. Of course until the AIDS backlash a couple of years later. But you couldn't really show two men about to get it on on the high seas whilst slathered in Canoe. But you can have a woman stand in for another man. A man who more than likely would say "Okay!" to an anonymous hook-up on a sail boat. And kill two birds with one cologne in the process.
But what about Brad and George. And could you please explain "Batching" to me? Or do I not want to know?
Okay, let's look at this article that appeared in a movie magazine in the 1930's,,,
I'm not, but it sure seems as though the photographer is.
If I'm not mistaken, that's George Clooney on the float and Brad Pitt poolside; or is that a fountain? Or a wading pool? Or, like that big rectangular thing near Lincoln's memorial--
The Reflecting Pool?
I guess so.
But yes, it is Msr.s Clooney and Pitt.
They're a power couple?
Aren't they?
I guess so. Of sorts. Say, did you ever wonder what would happen if you waded into the reflecting pool?
Yes.
Me too! When I was a kid, we went to Our Nation's Capitol quite a bit and I often was tempted, as any child would be, to jump inot the reflecting pool. Because, you know, in big cities, people will often do that sort of thing, especially if it's like wicked hot out. I remember my mom put the kibosh on that idea. "You don't want to go in there. It's full of garbage and muck. You'll get sick!" Who knew my mom would be so metaphorically prescient about Our Nation's Capitol?* Okay, so back to that commercial. What's your take? And is it "gaysploitation"?
You know, that commercial is actually quite fascinating. It's doing several things at once. It's appealing to heterosexual folks; both the men who would wear Canoe and the ladies who would more than likely purchase it for them. But it's also literally signalling gay men as well--I wouldn't say exploiting. I would say selling to indirectly.
How?
Well, this was a period when the gay male lifestyle was finally coming out of the closet and accepted; and thus seen as lucrative to businesses and advertisers. Of course until the AIDS backlash a couple of years later. But you couldn't really show two men about to get it on on the high seas whilst slathered in Canoe. But you can have a woman stand in for another man. A man who more than likely would say "Okay!" to an anonymous hook-up on a sail boat. And kill two birds with one cologne in the process.
But what about Brad and George. And could you please explain "Batching" to me? Or do I not want to know?
Okay, let's look at this article that appeared in a movie magazine in the 1930's,,,
Gee, this kind of reminds me of...
This?
This?
Well, I guess now we're going to have to do a comparison between the two photo shoots. The Grant/Scott shoot had a lot of pics, way more than you would've thought for 1937. And the Clooney/Pitt shoot also has quite a few. I'll do a couple of "photo grids"; but in the meantime, let's get back to the Q&A.
VOICE IN MY HEAD
So, I have to admit, Grant and Scott even bear striking physical resemblances to George and Brad. Do you think whoever "art directed" the GQ shoot and photographed it was aware of the Grant/Scott photos?
Well, how could they not be? The GQ shoot even has a 30's aesthetic right down to the clothing. What's your take on that font?
What font?
The font they used to spell out George and Brad's names.
Well it's odd. Is it supposed to be floating on the ripples? Actually, it looks more like paint. Or Elmer's glue. Or yogurt. Or tapioca pudding. Or--
Or
--keep it cute, Chirs--
Cupid's Toothpaste?
VOICE IN MY HEAD
So, I have to admit, Grant and Scott even bear striking physical resemblances to George and Brad. Do you think whoever "art directed" the GQ shoot and photographed it was aware of the Grant/Scott photos?
Well, how could they not be? The GQ shoot even has a 30's aesthetic right down to the clothing. What's your take on that font?
What font?
The font they used to spell out George and Brad's names.
Well it's odd. Is it supposed to be floating on the ripples? Actually, it looks more like paint. Or Elmer's glue. Or yogurt. Or tapioca pudding. Or--
Or
--keep it cute, Chirs--
Cupid's Toothpaste?
*Miss Spelling Sez:
TORI
Chris, I've conferred with my brother and we concur that the "capitol" you want here is "capital."
CHRIS
Oh, you have a brother? I didn't know that!
TORI
Yeah, so--
CHRIS
Hi Tori's brother!
TORI
Chris, this is Randy. Randy, Chris.
RANDY
Nice to meet you.
CHRIS
You too. So, what do you do in life?
TORI
He's a life coach.
CHRIS
Well hello coach! How do I join the cheerleading squad, wink-wink!
TORI
Chirs, don't be gross. You're already talking about "Cupid's toothpaste," so...yeah, it's C-A-P-I-T-A-L.
CHRIS
In my defense, you can see how that could get confusing, what with the Capitol building, in the capital city and do you capitalize the "C" in Capitol Building?
RANDY
I can see that. And yes, the "C" is capitalized.
CHRIS
Thanks coach! Did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Andrew McCarthy?
RANDY
Ah, well, uhm--
CHRIS
"What about PROM, Blane?"
TORI
Buh-bye!
Chris, I've conferred with my brother and we concur that the "capitol" you want here is "capital."
CHRIS
Oh, you have a brother? I didn't know that!
TORI
Yeah, so--
CHRIS
Hi Tori's brother!
TORI
Chris, this is Randy. Randy, Chris.
RANDY
Nice to meet you.
CHRIS
You too. So, what do you do in life?
TORI
He's a life coach.
CHRIS
Well hello coach! How do I join the cheerleading squad, wink-wink!
TORI
Chirs, don't be gross. You're already talking about "Cupid's toothpaste," so...yeah, it's C-A-P-I-T-A-L.
CHRIS
In my defense, you can see how that could get confusing, what with the Capitol building, in the capital city and do you capitalize the "C" in Capitol Building?
RANDY
I can see that. And yes, the "C" is capitalized.
CHRIS
Thanks coach! Did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like Andrew McCarthy?
RANDY
Ah, well, uhm--
CHRIS
"What about PROM, Blane?"
TORI
Buh-bye!
Wait! And you also both look a lot like my friend Doug Baker!
VOICE IN MY HEAD
Chris, you're straying off topic...again.
I know. I've never been known for my focused train of thought. So, back to George and Brad and Cary and Randolph. But just one more shot of Coach Spelling!
Chris, you're straying off topic...again.
I know. I've never been known for my focused train of thought. So, back to George and Brad and Cary and Randolph. But just one more shot of Coach Spelling!
Day-yumnh! Is that gaysploitation?
We can only hope! Let me ask you another question and then we'll look at some more photos.
Shoot!
So, why would George and Brad pose for these photos? I mean, let's think about it.
Publicity. They have a new movie coming out they're in together. And Brad has some racing car movie coming up.
Full disclosure: I didn't read the article. I was too busy looking at the pictures. Besides, celebrity interviews always make we want to strangle the person; so if I like them, I won't read it.
Why not?
Well, because if it's not just empty promotion, it's generally evasive non-speak. And if it's an actor, it's generally about their "process" and I really feel people need to keep their "processes" to themselves; particularly actors. "Oh, I studied with Stanford at the Actor's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah--no thank you!"
Even if they're asked?
Yes. And nowadays, if it's none of those things, it's some kind of product pitch. Like, seriously Felicia, I don't care if your new hair care product is infused with your husband's new vodka line...
I get it. So, you're saying that if it isn't one of the above mentioned, it's simply self-promotion? The star is simply promoting themself; to keep their star shining in the Public Eye?
Sure.
And why does every Big-Time-Male-Leading-Man-Movie-Star always want to make a picture about car racing? They are always the SAME movie. They can't not be. And they can't not be boring. After five minutes of sweet-ass car footage, your mind checks out. Watching someone drive a car is boring. I don't care how fast they're going. But, let's give Brad some free publicity anyways. I like him. He's a Sag. And as long as he keeps taking his shirt off in pictures, he's all right with me!
We can only hope! Let me ask you another question and then we'll look at some more photos.
Shoot!
So, why would George and Brad pose for these photos? I mean, let's think about it.
Publicity. They have a new movie coming out they're in together. And Brad has some racing car movie coming up.
Full disclosure: I didn't read the article. I was too busy looking at the pictures. Besides, celebrity interviews always make we want to strangle the person; so if I like them, I won't read it.
Why not?
Well, because if it's not just empty promotion, it's generally evasive non-speak. And if it's an actor, it's generally about their "process" and I really feel people need to keep their "processes" to themselves; particularly actors. "Oh, I studied with Stanford at the Actor's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah--no thank you!"
Even if they're asked?
Yes. And nowadays, if it's none of those things, it's some kind of product pitch. Like, seriously Felicia, I don't care if your new hair care product is infused with your husband's new vodka line...
I get it. So, you're saying that if it isn't one of the above mentioned, it's simply self-promotion? The star is simply promoting themself; to keep their star shining in the Public Eye?
Sure.
And why does every Big-Time-Male-Leading-Man-Movie-Star always want to make a picture about car racing? They are always the SAME movie. They can't not be. And they can't not be boring. After five minutes of sweet-ass car footage, your mind checks out. Watching someone drive a car is boring. I don't care how fast they're going. But, let's give Brad some free publicity anyways. I like him. He's a Sag. And as long as he keeps taking his shirt off in pictures, he's all right with me!
Now, let's go further with those pictures. The originals of Cary and Randy were in black and white but someone went to the trouble of colorizing them, so we'll use a lot of those!
And these...
Is that it?
No! I'll post the rest later.
How long did that photo shoot go on?
I don't know. So, let's ask ourselves why these two posed for this set of photographs.
Publicity again?
Sure. Of course. Cary and Randolph were both contracted to Paramount Studios and Grant had just signed a new contract with Columbia. Something tells me that Columbia might have been concerned that their new acquisition (who was rapidly becoming, if not already, a SUPERSTAR) was coming off as a little too "single' and this was someone's cockamamie idea to convince people he was just a footloose and fancy free "bachelor." Were they a couple? I don't know; but a picture says a thousand words. And a couple dozen pictures says...please hold: MATH IN PROGRESS.
They say about 24,000 words. One word in particular keeps coming through: LOVE. I mean, what else can account for this one?
No! I'll post the rest later.
How long did that photo shoot go on?
I don't know. So, let's ask ourselves why these two posed for this set of photographs.
Publicity again?
Sure. Of course. Cary and Randolph were both contracted to Paramount Studios and Grant had just signed a new contract with Columbia. Something tells me that Columbia might have been concerned that their new acquisition (who was rapidly becoming, if not already, a SUPERSTAR) was coming off as a little too "single' and this was someone's cockamamie idea to convince people he was just a footloose and fancy free "bachelor." Were they a couple? I don't know; but a picture says a thousand words. And a couple dozen pictures says...please hold: MATH IN PROGRESS.
They say about 24,000 words. One word in particular keeps coming through: LOVE. I mean, what else can account for this one?
Is that real?
It seems to be. Physically speaking that is. Like there was a camera, film, two men and film negatives. I'm gay; but I don't recall ever posing like this with someone who was just a "roommate." Interestingly, these photos are the opposite of gaysploitation. These were meant to make the pair come across as "not gay." I think I read the photgrapher was gay as well. Were Grant and Scott aware of this? If they were, it doesn't seem as though they cared very much.
It seems to be. Physically speaking that is. Like there was a camera, film, two men and film negatives. I'm gay; but I don't recall ever posing like this with someone who was just a "roommate." Interestingly, these photos are the opposite of gaysploitation. These were meant to make the pair come across as "not gay." I think I read the photgrapher was gay as well. Were Grant and Scott aware of this? If they were, it doesn't seem as though they cared very much.
Now, shall we look at the GQ photo shoot?
Sure, but I'm just going to pull a few pics; to give you the gist.
What's the "gist."
The 30's, Matching outfits and "bromance." And could we please retire that phrase?
Bromance?
Yes.
Why?
It's reductive.
Sure, but I'm just going to pull a few pics; to give you the gist.
What's the "gist."
The 30's, Matching outfits and "bromance." And could we please retire that phrase?
Bromance?
Yes.
Why?
It's reductive.
Chris, I think we've reached the "This is too long for me to finish mark."
That's what she said!
Is there more?
You know it! I'll meet you in the next blog: Batching It: Part 3 / Brooney vs. Ryjack
Ciao!
CFR 9/4/24
That's what she said!
Is there more?
You know it! I'll meet you in the next blog: Batching It: Part 3 / Brooney vs. Ryjack
Ciao!
CFR 9/4/24