Seth Meyers clearly does not, nor seems to ever have smoked a cigarette; let alone been a smoker of said. I however, have; and when I see him awkwardly pretend to smoke and then put out real cigarettes I have a panoply of responses; Pavlovian and otherwise. And yes, I will be throwing around ten-dollar words in this blog because this is my blog; so , there. And if you are not congeneric in regards to tobaccophilia, move along Miss Falana before you get "triggered."
I certainly get triggered when Seth puts a chez to his retz (TM/Reg./Copyrighted material/PAT. PEND). Yes, I actually invented slang for cigarette smoking and tried to make it happen; but it didn't fetch. "Chez for your retz" means "Matches for your cigarettes." Not having a light was an actual problem; particularly in the 80's when pretty much everyone smoked. If you didn't smoke, you might've been looked at askance.
But before we get into all of that I must seek a correction on an uncorrected, incorrect correction. Namely, the filter color of Parliament cigarettes. Here is Antonio Banderas and...Antonio Banderas, somewhere in Europe about to enjoy...something:
I certainly get triggered when Seth puts a chez to his retz (TM/Reg./Copyrighted material/PAT. PEND). Yes, I actually invented slang for cigarette smoking and tried to make it happen; but it didn't fetch. "Chez for your retz" means "Matches for your cigarettes." Not having a light was an actual problem; particularly in the 80's when pretty much everyone smoked. If you didn't smoke, you might've been looked at askance.
But before we get into all of that I must seek a correction on an uncorrected, incorrect correction. Namely, the filter color of Parliament cigarettes. Here is Antonio Banderas and...Antonio Banderas, somewhere in Europe about to enjoy...something:
Wow. Did Antonio Banderas just cruise himself!??!
I don't know about you; but if I was Antonio Banderas, I'd be cruising myself every chance I got! You probably couldn't pry me out of el cuarto de bano any time soon!
Yes, I get triggered when I see depictions of smoking. I saw Queer this weekend and it had more smoking than a fog machine at the Limelight circa '86. My husband and myself hold the film In the Bedroom as the benchmark for modern smoking movies. Remember that one? It's funny; at the time it was nominated for like every movie Award there was; now,nobody remembers it. Let me refresh your memory:
I don't know about you; but if I was Antonio Banderas, I'd be cruising myself every chance I got! You probably couldn't pry me out of el cuarto de bano any time soon!
Yes, I get triggered when I see depictions of smoking. I saw Queer this weekend and it had more smoking than a fog machine at the Limelight circa '86. My husband and myself hold the film In the Bedroom as the benchmark for modern smoking movies. Remember that one? It's funny; at the time it was nominated for like every movie Award there was; now,nobody remembers it. Let me refresh your memory:
It had tons of smoking. I think in this trailer, you can see smoke coming out of Marisa Tomei's nose at some point. The only scene I recall was Sissy Spacek launching a Crawfordesque slap across Ms. Tomei's visage; and the smoking of course. It was set in Maine. I bet a lot of people up there still smoke. But before I get into that, let me get this CORRECTION out of the way. Mr. Meyers issued a correction over a graphic on his show wherein a Parliament cigarette was referenced and shown as having a brown filter end. Mr. Meyers was informed that Parliaments have white filter ends; and this is true. However...
PARLIAMENT CIGARETTES DO HAVE BROWN FILTER TIPS.
Yes, they do. In the "Full Flavor" version. Here's The King of Cigarettes to tell us all about it!
PARLIAMENT CIGARETTES DO HAVE BROWN FILTER TIPS.
Yes, they do. In the "Full Flavor" version. Here's The King of Cigarettes to tell us all about it!
Or, if not that; how about this?
So there it is. Irrefutable proof that Parliaments have had brown filter since at least 2000. I hope Mr. Meyers addresses this in his "Corrections" programme. I do not consider myself a "jackal"; the term Mr. Meyers uses in reference to his audience and their tendency to call him on points of fact. I forget why he calls them that; that is, how the phrase came to be. I suppose I could go back and watch the early episodes of "Corrections"; but, as I'm not that invested in this, I shan't. And you may think that by my writing this blog, I couldn't be more invested; I might argue that the topic of cigarettes is an exception and that this is a way for me to indulge in "smoking" without actually lighting a cigarette; as I've been extremely tempted as of late. Speaking of "jackals"; when I was a kid, I was super into ancient Egypt. But more so ancient Egypt by way of Hollywood. Like the 50's version of The Ten Commandments. Remember that scene where Ann Baxter and the Pharaoh are playing "Hounds and Jackals"? They never explain how the game is played but I can recall as a kid so wanting that game-board. Like, the trouble they went to to create that prop for this scene! It's amazing. I wonder if it still exists or if Paramount just tossed it in the trash after they were through filming.
And here's a quick tutorial on the game. Wow, if it's out there, you really can find it on the web!
Apparently this game had a comeback of sorts in the 90's; although it seems the actual rules are lost to the mists of time; truly, in this case. But new game sets of the game can be had, for handy sums I might add. But I also might add that Mr. Meyers could more than likely afford one if he chose to take up the game. And since his viewers appear to enjoy showering him with gifts, he could always just mention it on his show. He'd probably get a hand-crafted Hounds and Jackals game of artisanal quality. From what I've seen of the merch he's received, a lot of it is exquisitely crafted and gorgeous on an aesthetic level. If he put out feelers though, he's probably get game pieces that looked like this:
I don't know...I'd still do it, I think. See, Mr. Meyers is getting way too much Mac Tonight merch. He either needs to use reverse psychology to get what he really wants or suggest other things that creep him out, in order to get more variety. For example, if he was like, really into say, Funko Pops of "Steff" from Pretty In Pink, he might mention how much Funko Pops of Steff super irritate him. Why, he'd soon have a shelf-full! Or any other James Spader themed collectible. Are there any? Hmmmm; let's look it up...
Speaking of ancient Egypt! You just can't make this stuff up. However, I don't recall his character being quite that butch in the movie. In fact, I recall him being fey to the point of...something.
Smoking Bonus: Kurt Russell at 3.08 mark!
James is also available in various forms as "Ultron" and whoever he plays on The Blacklist. But as of yet, no Steff McKee action figure. :(
Now, I must address profligate waste as it applies to cigarettes on Late Night with Seth Meyers. Now, a pack of cigarettes in Manhattan averages, currently, about $14.00. That's about 70 cents per cigarette. Now, if Mr. Meyers is doing a sketch that involves cigarettes; between rehearsals and airtime, I think we can reasonably assume the use of at least five cigarettes. If my math is correct, that's $3.50, out the window. Why must cigarette smokers bear the brunt of taxtion and humilitation without representation? Why are cigarettes and thusly smokers the villains here? And might we ask how did hard liquor get itself back on TV? Where are its warning labels and lists of side effects? Or fast food, for that matter. Or second hand smoke from big ole stanky dubies that I recently had to contend with on every street corner in The Big Apple. And why did it seem that every vape cloud exhaled in the city during my stay made it's way all up in my face? 3200 people on the sidewalk and it makes a beeline for my puss. Hey, lady...I don't want to walk into your vape cloud; could you exhale upwards maybe?
Or does Seth Meyers think because he's from New Hampshire, with its lower cigarette prices that he gets to just willy-nilly light up cigs and immediately stomp them out when Manhattanites, rich and poor, would kill for Granite State ciggie prices? Or former Massachusettsians and former smokers who might like to maybe pretend...maybe dream...maybe like to smoke that cigarette all the way down to the recessed filter? Mr. Meyers, you are my proxy smoker, so do it right or don't do it at all. DON'T TREAD ON ME!
James is also available in various forms as "Ultron" and whoever he plays on The Blacklist. But as of yet, no Steff McKee action figure. :(
Now, I must address profligate waste as it applies to cigarettes on Late Night with Seth Meyers. Now, a pack of cigarettes in Manhattan averages, currently, about $14.00. That's about 70 cents per cigarette. Now, if Mr. Meyers is doing a sketch that involves cigarettes; between rehearsals and airtime, I think we can reasonably assume the use of at least five cigarettes. If my math is correct, that's $3.50, out the window. Why must cigarette smokers bear the brunt of taxtion and humilitation without representation? Why are cigarettes and thusly smokers the villains here? And might we ask how did hard liquor get itself back on TV? Where are its warning labels and lists of side effects? Or fast food, for that matter. Or second hand smoke from big ole stanky dubies that I recently had to contend with on every street corner in The Big Apple. And why did it seem that every vape cloud exhaled in the city during my stay made it's way all up in my face? 3200 people on the sidewalk and it makes a beeline for my puss. Hey, lady...I don't want to walk into your vape cloud; could you exhale upwards maybe?
Or does Seth Meyers think because he's from New Hampshire, with its lower cigarette prices that he gets to just willy-nilly light up cigs and immediately stomp them out when Manhattanites, rich and poor, would kill for Granite State ciggie prices? Or former Massachusettsians and former smokers who might like to maybe pretend...maybe dream...maybe like to smoke that cigarette all the way down to the recessed filter? Mr. Meyers, you are my proxy smoker, so do it right or don't do it at all. DON'T TREAD ON ME!
And do you think because you're from "New" Hampshire you're better than us Massholes? Hey, I got news for you. New Hampshire, your ass used to belong to us! You too Maine. It used to be called New Maineachusettshire:
So just remember that next time you light up and simultaneously put out a precious, precious baton de tabac, Msr. Meyers. And that goes for you too, Judd Nelson!
CFR 12/17/24
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