Remember how big dancing was in the 80's? Everyone and their uncle went to clubs and danced. It was my favorite thing about the decade, looking back. Is it still a thing? It seems like the internet has killed the dance club. Hey, Dua Lipa: Song Idea on Aisle 7!
In my FanFic version of "PIP," we could still have the dance scene in the record store; but instead of Andie just sitting by and watching, she's an active participant. And I couldn't help but wonder: why was she not dancing in the first place? Well, before I chalk it up to sexism, I'm going to take a look at Hughes' screenplay, which is readily available online. Here's a link:cinemabandit.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/pretty-in-pink-john-hughes-05-09-85-scan.pdf
CUT TO:
INT. TRAX -DAY
Andie is going through a carton of records as her boss, IONA 30s, counts the cash in the register drawer. Iona is a mercurial, pixieish woman with a retro-chic look: sort of Blade Runner meets I Love Lucy. She purses her bright red, cupid's-bow lips.
IONA
I can't stand counting the money. It makes me nervous. I feel like every Tom, Dick and Barry the Bandit can see me doing it.
ANDIE
They can see you doing it. You're standing in front of the window.
IONA
Good point.
ANDIE
(Holding up album) Iona, were you at Woodstock?
IONA
(LAUGHS) I was ten love. I was still baking brownies. Regular brownies. I was in the Brownies!
Andie holds up another LP: Madonna's True Blue.
ANDIE
I love this picture of her. We should put this in the window.
IONA
She's not quite our demographic; but put her stuff in the disco section--
Duckie comes flying through the door.
DUCKIE
Did somebody say disco?
He does a few Travolta moves. They ignore him. He basically lives in the store. He goes behind the counter and retrieves a LOST AND FOUND box and starts rummaging through it.
IONA
I told you to stay out of there.
DUCKIE
Oooh, this is cool. This is so you Andie. Try it on!
He holds out a magenta angora beanie to her. She grimaces.
IONA
Oh don't worry honey, I sprayed everything in that box.
Iona holds up a can of Bowling Shoe Spray. Andie SIGHS and puts the hat on her head. It's quite becoming. Duckie's eyebrows shoot up and he goes to the turntable, finds a record and puts it on. It is Prince's "Raspberry Beret." As the song launches into it's percussion line, Duckie goes to the floor in front of the bins and begins to sing along and dance. When the song gets to the part about the girl coming through the door, he extends a hand to Andie, which she takes and joins him. They improvise a number on the spot as Iona watches, delighted. Although she may seem reticent, Andie gets into it and starts singing as enthusiastically as her friend.
IONA
Come on Duckman, I need some help with the new inventory.
DUCKIE
But--
IONA
No buts. If you're gonna hang out here, you're gonna do some work. Now get your butt in the back!
She grabs his arm and hauls him to the back. Andie, the spell broken, goes to the turntable and we hear this, legit, for maybe the first time in recent movie history:
And Andie and Blane start falling for one another.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the TRAX, Steff is mooning over the same girl.
CUT TO:
INT. STEFF'S BEDROOM -DAY
Steff is lying on his bed in his luxuriously appointed bedroom. But it's so bereft of what one would expect in a teenage boys bedroom, it almost seems more like a hotel suite. Instead of posters on the walls, there are genuine high end paintings. Mostly abstracts. Cy Twombly, Clyfford Still. In a far corner of the room is a punching bag and some gloves. He sips from a crystal lowball glass; what appears to be a cocktail as he looks at a yearbook from Meadowbrook High. It's the '84 issue.
INSERT SHOTS: A PAGE WITH "JUNIORS" ON IT AND ROWS OF PHOTOS.
CLOSE ON PICTURE OF ANDIE WITH HER NAME BENEATH.
The phone RINGS and Steff ignores it. He finally picks up.
STEFF
Hello? Oh, hi Benny.
CUT TO:
INT. COUNTRY CLUB -DAY
Steff's on again, off again girlfriend/potential business merger wife is dressed for golf. She's on the phone at the front desk of the country club. This is BENNY HANSON, high school age. She is beautiful and rich and she knows it. She's also what rhymes with "rich"? Why? Because she can be. The CALL cuts between the two locales.
BENNY
Steff, where are you? We're about to tee off and we can't stall anymore--
STEFF
Go on without me.
BENNY
But daddy's partner is here. Remember?
STEFF
No darling. Who is that?
BENNY
Are you kidding me? Steff, darling, you damn well better know who he is because you're going to be answering to them come this September.
STEFF
I've got a cold.
BENNY
You've got a hangover. This is the last time I'm letting you break a promise.
STEFF
Is that a threat?
BENNY
It's a promise. Look Steff--
He places the receiver in the cradle as she's still talking.
BENNY
Hello? Hello? OH! He did not just hang up on me!
She furiously redials.
The phone RINGS again and Steff unplugs it. He goes to his stereo set-up, a sleek expensive looking affair and finds an album. He puts it on the turntable and lowers the needle. As the song starts, he goes back to his bed and picks up the yearbook again. Takes another sip of his drink. He puts the yearbook carefully back on a shelf and the drink on the nightstand and goes to the punching bag. He puts on his gloves and starts hitting the bag.
Speaking of the soundtrack of Pretty In Pink, my friend, the late great Scott Gammon had it. He also had the movie. On videocassette. Yes, he was an early advocate of the film and its fierce fandom. He was a bit embarrassed by it, as was I, as we were in our 20's and loving it. "...I can't help it," he had said once, by way of an unsolicited apology, "I just LOVE that movie!" I didn't buy the soundtrack at the time, but I came into its possession at some point, on cassette:
One of the cuts on the soundtrack is "Wouldn't It Be Good," a great song by a Mr. Nik Kershaw. Let's take a listen and a look!
Now, this will tell you how old I am. There was a company called K-Tel and they would issue compilation records of current hit songs and heavily advertise them on TV. You could then send away for the album. Or cassette. Or 8 track tape(!) or even in some cases, reel to reel! Here's a typical commercial:
Now, not to dis The Danny Hutton Hitters, their version of "Wouldn't It Be Good" was very good. Excellent even. But why wasn't it Nik Kershaw?
Okay, now this is when, for me, things get weird. And fascinating. And fascinatingly weird. Did a bit of research. Turns out, Danny Hutton was one of the original members of the Three Dog Night. Three Dog Night couldn't have been a more 60's peace, love and harmony earthy-crunchy band that the characters in Pretty In Pink would've laughed at. Danny Hutton is Irish and quite handsome. Still with us. Looks a bit like Pierce Brosnan. He's 82 now. Danny, not Pierce. Pierce is 71.
I was looking at the above picture and experiencing--
Hold on.
Wait a second.
TRIGGER WARNING! FOLLOWING SENTENCES CONTAIN SEXISM AND SEXIST WORDS! AND QUEER SLANG: PROCEED WITH CAUTION!
Experiencing what one musician friend of my husband's, back in the day,described as The P***y Magic Wand (PMW). Now the PMW was in reference to his drum stick. His actual drum stick, or sticks, I suppose, as he was a drummer. He described the phenomenon thusly, and I paraphrase: "Now Joe, I'm not particularly good looking; but I'm a drummer in a band and all I have do do is wave my P***y Magic Wand and get pretty much any p***y I want." He waved his drumstick. "And it's simply because I'm a musician."
Yeah. What is it about musicians? They not only can get any pretty much any p***y they want; but any "bussy" they want. Look it up.
When I was writing this, my husband came into the room and I said, looking at the above picture: "I can see why Carla M________ ran off with the Three Dog Night!" and then added, "I would've run off with them too!" (in case you're not getting this, I find them all adorable. Would I have gone to a Three Dog Night gang-bang in '69? You bet my b***y I would!). "Don't even joke about that," he cried, "that traumatized me!" You see, back in the day, when he was four, one of his mother's friends actually did run off with the Three Dog Night. And now, I get it. That being said...there may be a PMW out there; but there's also the Power of P***y. That's pretty much the phenomenon wherein a person in possession of a p***y can have pretty much whatever man they want. I guess, that is, unless he has a b***y!
WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG:
And one of my favorite songs of theirs is "Shambala" which is also the name of the big cat sanctuary of one of my favorite actresses, Ms. Tippi Hedren. See, it's all connected. So let's take a breather with the Three Dog Night as they perform, "Shambala."
WILD APPLAUSE
Ciao, auf whiedersein (sic), domo origato, bon soir, etc. etc.
CFR 12/30/24