MATT DAMON PRESENTS: CHRIS' CHRISTMAS IN JULY (AN ODDYSSEY FOR THE AGES / COURTESY OF CHRIS NOLAN AND AMERICAN GREETINGS)

Now that is a picture.  A picture worth a thousand words.  A picture that launched 3000 ships!
And it is one of the dumbest publicity pictures, I must say, that this fellah has ever seen.  But in a good way!  I mean it's pure camp.  Like literally.  Are we in a Greek training camp?!!?  Because if we are, I have to know how I can get in.  I hope it's as easy as purchasing a ticket at my local AMC (I'm a Stubbs member, thank you very much).  What do I LOVE about this picture.  Let's break it down:
1. Tom Holland's armpit.  Yum!  My Spidey-sense is tingling!
2. Robert Pattinson's armpit.  I can smell it from here.  It's puttin' me in a Twilight sleep!
3. Matt Damon's belt, which of course goes unmentioned in the fashion credits because it caught my eye.
4. Matt's bared teeth, which of course remind me of this:

5. The intentional(?) Three Stooges Reference, putting Matt in the Moe position:

6. Wondering about the acting choices on display.  What were the directions?  "...okay, now pretend you're three grade school girls having a slap fight on the playground!"
7. Or did Tom steal Robert's make-up brush and Matt is putting the kibosh on the contretemps?  
8. So many possibilities!
9. But guys...why?  This movie is already having major pre-publicity problems.  The fan-boys have their swords out, ready to render their own Trojan War.  Why would you give them more fuel with these, quite frankly, ridiculous GQ photos?
10. I guess we'll find out on July 17th.  But whatever the result, this will be a big Christmas in July present for everyone!
And speaking of Christmas in July...
Matt!  Guess what!??!  The gods heard my supplications and on a recent trip to Surprise, AZ I received a very pleasant surprise!  Although I kinda wasn't surprised because this happens to me all the time.  The heavens have supplied me with the first three Bourne movies in their proper formats, for a song!  Here is an Odyssey themed picture of my new treasure trove:

Also, Matt, since we're buds, I've decided to throw in some bonus art as a sort of "Your Gift With Purchase!" in regards to your recent acquiring of Matt's Mug With Toothbrush.  This as of now untitled piece depicts Odysseus' pooch, Argos, gazing over the Ionian sea in anticipation of his master's return:

You will also be able to find Argos on all matter of consumer products from cel-phone cases to mugs to tee shirts via Fine Art America (in case you simply can't wait until you receive the original (frame not included-please allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery).  Here's Argos on a shower curtain!

Makes a great gift!
Oh, speaking of gifts...
I saw this the other day while I was lingering in my local movie theater lobby:

I guess as tie-ins go, this is okay.  I mean, anything to introduce todays youngsters to the classics, right, Matt?  It was right next door to the Supergirl merch, which, if you ask me, they should've been giving away. Not to pile on here; but when they had "Supergirl" show up at the end of the last Superman movie, hung-over, no less, I was like: "Ahhh, no.  That girl should not be playing Supergirl.  She should be in a Joni Mitchell biopic.  Or maybe Marianne Faithfull..."

I think they wanted some absurd amount of money ($40.00?) for the Jason Mimoa(?) whatever that is. Oh, it's the "Lobo The Spacehog Popcorn bucket."  I wonder if he knows Juan Epstein? Imagine trying to explain all this to future archaeologists? 
Furthering our Christmas theme and this is neither here nor there.  Recently my husband printed out a picture of me and it printed on the wrong side of the photo paper and it put me in mind of this:

Whadda ya think?   And I am not implying I am Christlike...

I found it amusing.  And I am sure there is a lesson in here, somewhere, about vanity.
Well, I guess that's it.
Oh, one final thing:
I AM GETTING BACK TO MY CHRISTMAS TELEPLAY: CUMMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, and I stand by that!  No more distractions!  I mean, if all these folks who I've formerly had admiration for would stop doing and saying (or not saying) shitty things I could concentrate.  

And Eye'll be seeing you at the movies Matty!  Fingers crossed this Odyssey finds it's way home!!!
 
​(Top photo credit: Alex Prager for GQ magazine / used without permission)

CFR   7/12/26