People Who Need Sexier PEOPLE

So, Masshole John Krasinski has been named PEOPLE Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive."
Now, I would be the first to argue--well, maybe not argue--but wishfully think, that anyone from The Bay State is automatically "sexy."  At least in their mind.  And although I do find Mr. Krasinski "sexy"; I should note that I find Jerry Lewis, George Lindsey , Eddie Murphy as his Norbit character and Chopper the Bulldog all, super sexy.  

I do not, however, find People's ostensibly "sexy" pictures of Mr. Krasinski, sexy.

Okay, so...a shirt?  Under a TWEED effin' jacket, no less?  No, MORE.  As in: "Let's see how much more clothes we can put him in!"

Oh, let's leave  the shirt and put those sexy, long legs in long pants and be sure to hide his butt.  And while we're at it, do a pseudo Taxi Driver set-up, but not reference this:

And let's do another Taxi Driver pic, but put him in even more clothes; like drown him in a trench coat:

Oh yeah, men in raincoats is so sexy!!!

So, I took the liberty of redoing the cover.
And People people, if you're reading this I don't think I'm alone in thinking that The Sexiest Man Alive issue should be a little bit more about the objectification of the subject.  We don't really care what they're wearing.  We want to see what they look like when they're not wearing clothes.  And if your MAN is not willing to do that, maybe he should head over to GQ and People should find someone who will*

*Like...

CFR   11/30/24