A further exploration of how America's favorite magazine can be even SEXIER...
Longtime pals Jon Hamm and Paul Rudd on the set of their new film, The Olive Oilers.
Photo courtesy Artists Equity
SEXY MOVIE TIE-INS
The stars of the latest Hollywood block-busters agree to pose, sexily, as their characters from their latest projects; like Paul and Jon in the above still from their forthcoming sword and sandal epic, The Olive Oilers. The Olive Oilers tells the tale of brothers Gluteus Maximus (Hamm) and Gluteus Minimus (Rudd); scions of an ancient Greek olive empire. Minimus is kidnapped from the olive farm by Alexander the Great's henchmen, who need his expertise on olea europaea as Alexander lays his plans for world domination. Maximus swears to the gods that he will get his beloved "baby brotius" back and moves heaven and earth to do so. Meanwhile, Minimus falls in love with Alexander (Channing Tatum) as he battles Hadrian, Emperor of Rome (Jake Gyllenhaal) on the Western front and Ghengis Khan (Huang Xiaoming) to the East. Meanwhile, Athena the goddess of olives (Scarlett Johansson) along with Dionysus (Antonio Banderas) answering Maxims' challenge; watch over the proceedings, rolling the dice of Fate and and spinning the Wheel of Fortune (Vanna White). Salad dressing is invented in the process; and just one of the things on the table as this exciting film lenses on Mykonos, as we speak. Will Jon Hamm and Halle Berry foil Aphrodite (Sydney Sweeney); or will they join her at the orgy on Mount Olympus? This film will feature the English laguage singing debut of Mr. Xiaoming!
Photo courtesy Artists Equity
SEXY MOVIE TIE-INS
The stars of the latest Hollywood block-busters agree to pose, sexily, as their characters from their latest projects; like Paul and Jon in the above still from their forthcoming sword and sandal epic, The Olive Oilers. The Olive Oilers tells the tale of brothers Gluteus Maximus (Hamm) and Gluteus Minimus (Rudd); scions of an ancient Greek olive empire. Minimus is kidnapped from the olive farm by Alexander the Great's henchmen, who need his expertise on olea europaea as Alexander lays his plans for world domination. Maximus swears to the gods that he will get his beloved "baby brotius" back and moves heaven and earth to do so. Meanwhile, Minimus falls in love with Alexander (Channing Tatum) as he battles Hadrian, Emperor of Rome (Jake Gyllenhaal) on the Western front and Ghengis Khan (Huang Xiaoming) to the East. Meanwhile, Athena the goddess of olives (Scarlett Johansson) along with Dionysus (Antonio Banderas) answering Maxims' challenge; watch over the proceedings, rolling the dice of Fate and and spinning the Wheel of Fortune (Vanna White). Salad dressing is invented in the process; and just one of the things on the table as this exciting film lenses on Mykonos, as we speak. Will Jon Hamm and Halle Berry foil Aphrodite (Sydney Sweeney); or will they join her at the orgy on Mount Olympus? This film will feature the English laguage singing debut of Mr. Xiaoming!
Speaking of Asian stars... I would certainly be in People's Sexiest People edition! That is, if they would have me. I mean, they had Patrick Dempsey and he's like only a month younger than me. Which brings us to a whole other edition: PEOPLE MAGAZINES SEXIEST PEOPLE ALIVE: SENIOR SIZZLE EDITION. And okay...yeah, sure...I'll be on the cover as Leather Daddy Chris...
Oh, I'm not Asian; although I do have a Japanese aunt and a Thai sister-in-law. But BING thinks I look like some of these Bruce Lee "clones" and other Martial Arts stars. What do you think?
And oh, before we continue I must print a CORRECTION. I recently wrote a blog, taking to task Australian actors and their propensity for wearing Speedo bathing suits; also known as "Budgie Smugglers," down under. And in Australia. I included a picture of Mr. Luke Evans, who I always assumed was Australian. But he's not. He's from the south of Wales. So, I apologize to Mr. Evans and will herewith make good with a photo grid of him in an array of swimwear:
NOTICE:
I am now having so much trouble with Weebly and posting photographs, it is totes working my last nerve and cramping my creative Mojo. I think I will soon have to find a new webpage source. So keep that in mind. I cannot razz celebs at my convenience; so, we'll have to come up with a plan B. In the meantime, here is a video of Mr. Evans being sexy:
And oh, before we continue I must print a CORRECTION. I recently wrote a blog, taking to task Australian actors and their propensity for wearing Speedo bathing suits; also known as "Budgie Smugglers," down under. And in Australia. I included a picture of Mr. Luke Evans, who I always assumed was Australian. But he's not. He's from the south of Wales. So, I apologize to Mr. Evans and will herewith make good with a photo grid of him in an array of swimwear:
NOTICE:
I am now having so much trouble with Weebly and posting photographs, it is totes working my last nerve and cramping my creative Mojo. I think I will soon have to find a new webpage source. So keep that in mind. I cannot razz celebs at my convenience; so, we'll have to come up with a plan B. In the meantime, here is a video of Mr. Evans being sexy:
I was gonna post some pix of dudes that Bing thinks I look like. Mishima, 'frinstance. And Chad Everett for some reason. But I can't. Perhaps I can illustrate further blogs with my own photos and artwork, but that will require a lot more work. I just need to rethink this; so please bear with me.
Thanks for reading!
Love and Ciao,
Chris
CFR 6/15/24
Thanks for reading!
Love and Ciao,
Chris
CFR 6/15/24
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