DIZZOLVE FROM WHITE-OUT
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
We see a small tarmac where a silver Porsche is parked. The tarmac is covered by a small awning of corrugated green plastic. There is a picnic table and a spigot for a hose. A few feet away is a Datsun 280 ZX all tricked out in red, white and Bud. The Porsche is being slavishly washed by a MAN in shorts. This is JAMES DEAN, 24. No intro needed. Leaning against the Datsun, drinking a Coors beer is PAUL NEWMAN, 40's. He's a famous Actor-Slash-Race Car Driver. James looks up as he hears the sound of an ENGINE approaching. He shades his eyes. Paul turns and looks too.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
Jame's POV. He sees a dark speck on the horizon. It is the green Mustang. We watch with him as the shimmer of heat rises up and the car begins to transform from a mirage into a real object. As the ENGINE ROAR grows louder, the car seems to be coming on too fast. At the last moment, as it seems as though collision is imminent; the Ford fishtails and comes to a screeching halt as it throws up a cloud of salt and gravel which covers the Porsche. And the Datsun and James and Paul.
JAMES
Awwww, SHIT!
From the Mustang, we hear McQueen's HEARTY LAUGH.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
CLOSE on the Mustang as the driver's side door opens and Steve steps out. He's wearing his Le Mans jumpsuit; but now it has more logos on it; in particular OLD MILWAUKEE BEER. The CAMERA TRACKS around to the passenger side and that door opens. Chris steps out of the car, his face obscured by the mirrored visor of his helmet. He is plastered in logos for the following brands:
PACO RABANNE POUR HOMME
TABASCO HOT SAUCE
KROGER CHICKEN BISQUIT CRACKERS
GOLD BOND SKIN CREAM
LEUCHTTURM 1917
BABO GEL
TURQUOISE RAVEN PRODUCTIONS
RAMROD BAR
KRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE
O'REILLY'S AUTO PARTS (OWWW!)
And finally...
FREAKIES CEREAL
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
We see a small tarmac where a silver Porsche is parked. The tarmac is covered by a small awning of corrugated green plastic. There is a picnic table and a spigot for a hose. A few feet away is a Datsun 280 ZX all tricked out in red, white and Bud. The Porsche is being slavishly washed by a MAN in shorts. This is JAMES DEAN, 24. No intro needed. Leaning against the Datsun, drinking a Coors beer is PAUL NEWMAN, 40's. He's a famous Actor-Slash-Race Car Driver. James looks up as he hears the sound of an ENGINE approaching. He shades his eyes. Paul turns and looks too.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
Jame's POV. He sees a dark speck on the horizon. It is the green Mustang. We watch with him as the shimmer of heat rises up and the car begins to transform from a mirage into a real object. As the ENGINE ROAR grows louder, the car seems to be coming on too fast. At the last moment, as it seems as though collision is imminent; the Ford fishtails and comes to a screeching halt as it throws up a cloud of salt and gravel which covers the Porsche. And the Datsun and James and Paul.
JAMES
Awwww, SHIT!
From the Mustang, we hear McQueen's HEARTY LAUGH.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
CLOSE on the Mustang as the driver's side door opens and Steve steps out. He's wearing his Le Mans jumpsuit; but now it has more logos on it; in particular OLD MILWAUKEE BEER. The CAMERA TRACKS around to the passenger side and that door opens. Chris steps out of the car, his face obscured by the mirrored visor of his helmet. He is plastered in logos for the following brands:
PACO RABANNE POUR HOMME
TABASCO HOT SAUCE
KROGER CHICKEN BISQUIT CRACKERS
GOLD BOND SKIN CREAM
LEUCHTTURM 1917
BABO GEL
TURQUOISE RAVEN PRODUCTIONS
RAMROD BAR
KRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE
O'REILLY'S AUTO PARTS (OWWW!)
And finally...
FREAKIES CEREAL
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
TIGHT SHOT on Chris' mirrored visor. In it, we see Paul Neman's figure approach Chris and then his face as he peers at him.
REVERSE ANGLE
PAUL
(Pointing) I know who that asshole is. But who are you?
Chris raises his gloved hand to the visor which he attempts to raise. First it sticks. Then he gets it up and it immediately falls down again. This happens a few times until finally, in frustration, he pulls his helmet off.
CHRIS
Reidy. Chris Reidy. Some call me Speedy Reidy; but you can call me tonight.
Paul considers this but doesn't respond. He turns to Steve.
PAUL NEWMAN
Where did you find this one?
STEVE
In a dressing room...
PAUL
Sounds about right--
Chris thrusts out his hand.
CHRIS
Mr. Newman, I am a huge fan! The Towering Inferno is one of my favorite films!
PAUL
That wasn't a film. It was flick.
STEVE
And a fuck flick at that, since you were in it...
PAUL
I've been out in the sun all morning Queen. Don't start with me--
Paul gives Chris his glove, which has come off whilst shaking, back to him.
STEVE
"...Architects."
PAUL
What?
STEVE
"...Architects." Come on, what's your line Method boy? "...Architects."
PAUL
I am not doing this.
STEVE
You're doing it Method boy. "...Architects."
Paul moves towards Steve until their faces are about a half an inch apart.
PAUL
"Yeah. It's all our fault..."
CLOSE ON MCQUEEN'S BLUE EYES
STEVE
"Now you know there's no sure way for us to fight a fire in anything over the seventh floor..."
A HEATED PAUSE
STEVE
"...but you guys just keep building 'em as high as you can."
CLOSE ON NEWMAN'S BLUE EYES
"...Hey. Are you here to take me on; or the fire?'
One set of baby blues searches the other. How close can their faces get? Suddenly, they are playfully wrestling against Jimmy's Porsche.
JIMMY
Hey! Watch the paint!
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
TIGHT SHOT on Chris' mirrored visor. In it, we see Paul Neman's figure approach Chris and then his face as he peers at him.
REVERSE ANGLE
PAUL
(Pointing) I know who that asshole is. But who are you?
Chris raises his gloved hand to the visor which he attempts to raise. First it sticks. Then he gets it up and it immediately falls down again. This happens a few times until finally, in frustration, he pulls his helmet off.
CHRIS
Reidy. Chris Reidy. Some call me Speedy Reidy; but you can call me tonight.
Paul considers this but doesn't respond. He turns to Steve.
PAUL NEWMAN
Where did you find this one?
STEVE
In a dressing room...
PAUL
Sounds about right--
Chris thrusts out his hand.
CHRIS
Mr. Newman, I am a huge fan! The Towering Inferno is one of my favorite films!
PAUL
That wasn't a film. It was flick.
STEVE
And a fuck flick at that, since you were in it...
PAUL
I've been out in the sun all morning Queen. Don't start with me--
Paul gives Chris his glove, which has come off whilst shaking, back to him.
STEVE
"...Architects."
PAUL
What?
STEVE
"...Architects." Come on, what's your line Method boy? "...Architects."
PAUL
I am not doing this.
STEVE
You're doing it Method boy. "...Architects."
Paul moves towards Steve until their faces are about a half an inch apart.
PAUL
"Yeah. It's all our fault..."
CLOSE ON MCQUEEN'S BLUE EYES
STEVE
"Now you know there's no sure way for us to fight a fire in anything over the seventh floor..."
A HEATED PAUSE
STEVE
"...but you guys just keep building 'em as high as you can."
CLOSE ON NEWMAN'S BLUE EYES
"...Hey. Are you here to take me on; or the fire?'
One set of baby blues searches the other. How close can their faces get? Suddenly, they are playfully wrestling against Jimmy's Porsche.
JIMMY
Hey! Watch the paint!
STEVE
(To Chris) Speedy, grab the cooler, would you?
CHRIS
On it McQueen!
Chris leans into the back of the Mustang and retrieves a cooler with the OLD MILWAUKEE logo on it and lugs it to a picnic table.
(To Chris) Speedy, grab the cooler, would you?
CHRIS
On it McQueen!
Chris leans into the back of the Mustang and retrieves a cooler with the OLD MILWAUKEE logo on it and lugs it to a picnic table.
PAUL
(To Steve)
What are you doing here?
STEVE
What else? Straight drag--
CHRIS
Is that a thing?
PAUL
Racing. Drag racing.
STEVE
Not even that. Let's see who has the fastest chasis. (Points) From there to here and back. Couple cases of beer for the winner?
Jimmy Dean starts jumping up and down and clapping. When he SPEAKS, it's barely a MUMBLE. And when he EXCLAIMS, it's rather primordial. Steve and Paul seem to understand him perfectly though.
JIMMY
Rrrraaaah-CAAAAHHH!
CHRIS
What did he say?
STEVE
"Race." He wants to race. There's only two things in this life Jimmy likes. Racing. And getting railed. Oh and the Existentialists. So, three things.
Steve goes to the picnic table and gets a beer and pops one open. He offers one to Jimmy and then one to Paul.
PAUL
(Getting a Coors from his own cooler) I wouldn't drink that horse-piss if I crash landed on Mercury and that was all they had to drink.
(To Steve)
What are you doing here?
STEVE
What else? Straight drag--
CHRIS
Is that a thing?
PAUL
Racing. Drag racing.
STEVE
Not even that. Let's see who has the fastest chasis. (Points) From there to here and back. Couple cases of beer for the winner?
Jimmy Dean starts jumping up and down and clapping. When he SPEAKS, it's barely a MUMBLE. And when he EXCLAIMS, it's rather primordial. Steve and Paul seem to understand him perfectly though.
JIMMY
Rrrraaaah-CAAAAHHH!
CHRIS
What did he say?
STEVE
"Race." He wants to race. There's only two things in this life Jimmy likes. Racing. And getting railed. Oh and the Existentialists. So, three things.
Steve goes to the picnic table and gets a beer and pops one open. He offers one to Jimmy and then one to Paul.
PAUL
(Getting a Coors from his own cooler) I wouldn't drink that horse-piss if I crash landed on Mercury and that was all they had to drink.
STEVE
Oh, right. I forgot. You're some big-time food connisseur now, right? What? Fucking salad dressing?
Paul, enraged, pitches his beer to the concrete, where it explodes. He strides up to Steve and gets in his face.
PAUL
Yeah. Salad fucking dressing. You want some?
STEVE
What you got. You got Italian?
PAUL
Yeah. I got Italian...
STEVE
How about Thousand Islands. You got that?
PAUL
Yeah, I got that...
Their faces keep getting closer.
STEVE
Green Goddess? Ya got Green Goddess?
PAUL
No, but I have fucking creamy avocado oil...low fat...
STEVE
(As he sits on the edge of the table, eyes still locked with Newman's as he comes even closer) French...yeah...you fucking love French, don't you...you got that?
PAUL
Oh fuck do I have French--
STEVE
(Manspreading) Greek, fucker. You know Greek is what I want--
PAUL
I've got all the Greek you can handle, fucker--
STEVE
You wanna toss salads, don't you, baby. I got sixty-nine varieties of that for you, you HOT little motherf--
CHRIS
(Turning from Jimmy, who is now sitting at the table coloring in a Hot Wheels coloring book (SOTTO VOCE): I thought he was supposed to be really smart; like into Sartre and stuff...
PAUL
He banged his head yesterday. Wasn't wearing a helmet. He keeps fading in and out. He should be back soon.
Paul grabs Steve's beer and guzzles it; foam forming in the corners of his mouth, which he then violently wipes with the back of his hand.
PAUL
Let's do this...
He goes over to his car, gets in, SLAMS the door and GUNS the engine. Jimmy leaps up and gets in his Porsche.
STEVE
(SHOUTING) We'll take Speedy out a mile and flip for pole positon.
CHRIS
What am I gonna do?
STEVE
You're the pole!
CHRIS
Oh wow! I'm the pole! Wait...what...?
Oh, right. I forgot. You're some big-time food connisseur now, right? What? Fucking salad dressing?
Paul, enraged, pitches his beer to the concrete, where it explodes. He strides up to Steve and gets in his face.
PAUL
Yeah. Salad fucking dressing. You want some?
STEVE
What you got. You got Italian?
PAUL
Yeah. I got Italian...
STEVE
How about Thousand Islands. You got that?
PAUL
Yeah, I got that...
Their faces keep getting closer.
STEVE
Green Goddess? Ya got Green Goddess?
PAUL
No, but I have fucking creamy avocado oil...low fat...
STEVE
(As he sits on the edge of the table, eyes still locked with Newman's as he comes even closer) French...yeah...you fucking love French, don't you...you got that?
PAUL
Oh fuck do I have French--
STEVE
(Manspreading) Greek, fucker. You know Greek is what I want--
PAUL
I've got all the Greek you can handle, fucker--
STEVE
You wanna toss salads, don't you, baby. I got sixty-nine varieties of that for you, you HOT little motherf--
CHRIS
(Turning from Jimmy, who is now sitting at the table coloring in a Hot Wheels coloring book (SOTTO VOCE): I thought he was supposed to be really smart; like into Sartre and stuff...
PAUL
He banged his head yesterday. Wasn't wearing a helmet. He keeps fading in and out. He should be back soon.
Paul grabs Steve's beer and guzzles it; foam forming in the corners of his mouth, which he then violently wipes with the back of his hand.
PAUL
Let's do this...
He goes over to his car, gets in, SLAMS the door and GUNS the engine. Jimmy leaps up and gets in his Porsche.
STEVE
(SHOUTING) We'll take Speedy out a mile and flip for pole positon.
CHRIS
What am I gonna do?
STEVE
You're the pole!
CHRIS
Oh wow! I'm the pole! Wait...what...?
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
Chris is standing in the middle of a sea of crystalline white. The three sportscars are pointing at him, in a row. Steve strides over to Chris with a bandana and hands it to him.
CHRIS
...but I'm scared McQueen...
STEVE
You'll be fine. Jimmy's nearly ninety-five percent. And you know how to drop and roll, right?
CHRIS
What? No!
STEVE
You're gonna be great! Okay, when I get back in the car, you just raise the bandana, count to three and then signal us.
CHRIS
Like Cha-Cha DiGregorio in Grease?
STEVE
Sure...just like...whoever that is. So then we'll go past you, turn, ride back to the pavillion and finally back to you.
He pats Chris on the cheek. And his face.
CHRIS
All right...
Steve smiles and as he turns, rolls his eyes. He climbs back into his car and all three start REVVING their engines.
The CAMERA CLOSES tight on Chris' face as he counts.
CHRIS
...two...three...
He raises the bandana and swings his arms down. The three cars tear past him as he stands there with his eyes shut tight. They proceed to do 180s and then speed past Chris again. He shades his eyes.
MONTAGE:
We see a series of SPLIT-SCREENS and SCREENS WITHIN SCREENS in the classic PABLO FERRO style (Please see VIDEO EXAMPLE below):
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
Chris is standing in the middle of a sea of crystalline white. The three sportscars are pointing at him, in a row. Steve strides over to Chris with a bandana and hands it to him.
CHRIS
...but I'm scared McQueen...
STEVE
You'll be fine. Jimmy's nearly ninety-five percent. And you know how to drop and roll, right?
CHRIS
What? No!
STEVE
You're gonna be great! Okay, when I get back in the car, you just raise the bandana, count to three and then signal us.
CHRIS
Like Cha-Cha DiGregorio in Grease?
STEVE
Sure...just like...whoever that is. So then we'll go past you, turn, ride back to the pavillion and finally back to you.
He pats Chris on the cheek. And his face.
CHRIS
All right...
Steve smiles and as he turns, rolls his eyes. He climbs back into his car and all three start REVVING their engines.
The CAMERA CLOSES tight on Chris' face as he counts.
CHRIS
...two...three...
He raises the bandana and swings his arms down. The three cars tear past him as he stands there with his eyes shut tight. They proceed to do 180s and then speed past Chris again. He shades his eyes.
MONTAGE:
We see a series of SPLIT-SCREENS and SCREENS WITHIN SCREENS in the classic PABLO FERRO style (Please see VIDEO EXAMPLE below):
MONTAGE
OVER MONTAGE WE HEAR MORRISSEY SONG, "SUEDEHEAD."*
We see a series of shots of the three cars as they speed towards the pavillion in the distance:
CLOSE ON SPINNING WHEELS
THE CAMERA CLOSE ON THE TAIL OF THE MUSTANG
CLOSE ON THE TAIL OF THE DATSUN
CLOSE ON THE TAIL OF THE PORSCHE
REVERSE ANGLES: CLOSE ON EACH CAR AS THEY LEAP TOWARDS THE CAMERA
CLOSE ON EACH MAN AS HE DETERMINES HIS POSITIONING: NEWMAN ADJUSTS HIS REARVIEW / MCQUEEN ADJUSTS HIS SUNGLASSES / DEAN LOOKS DOWN IN THE PASSENGER SEAT WHERE HE'S DISTRACTED BY THE SOUND OF BOOK PAGES FLAPPING IN THE WIND. HE SWEEPS THE BOOK TO THE FLOOR: CLOSE ON TITLE OF BOOK: 'BEING AND NOTHINGNESS."
AERIAL SHOT OF CARS ZOOMING PAST PAVILLION
CLOSE SHOTS ON BEER CANS TUMBLING OFF PICNIC TABLE
INSERT SHOT OF MELTED CRAYONS ONTABLETOP
CLOSE ON THE COLORING BOOK AS IT'S PAGES BEGIN TO VIOLENTLY FLAP UNTIL THE BOOK IS LAUNCHED INTO THE AIR. IT PINWHEELS ACROSS THE SALT AND THE CAMERA MOVES IN ON "HOT WHEELS" LOGO.
THE CARS GO INTO THEIR TURNS
MCQUEEN PULLS OFF HIS SUNGLASSES
CLOSE ON MCQUEEN'S EYES IN THE REARVIEW AS HE WATCHS THE DATSUN CATCH HIM AND OVERTAKE HIM
FAST ZOOM ON NEWMAN'S EYES THROUGH WINDOW / CAMERA TILTS DOWN TO HIS WRY SMILE
CLOSE ON DEAN'S BLEARY EYES
DEAN'S POV OF CARS AHEAD OF HIM / HIS VISION BLURRED
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
Chris is standing in the great expanse. We cut to his POV as he sees the three cars coming back towards him. In a REVERSE ANGLE we see the horizon behind Chris, where a DARK CAR is speeding towards him. It BACKFIRES and Chris turns.
CHRIS' POV: He shades his eyes again and regards the car. He GULPS.
CHRIS
(Under his breath) ...We're going to need a bigger salt flat...
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
In an overhead shot, we see Chris a small spot, MIDSCREEN. On the left, we see the Datsun leading, closely followed by the Mustang and the Porsche eating their dust. On the right is the black car, barreling down on Chris who is kind of now between a rock and a hard place.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
The CAMERA TRACKS toward Chris as he looks rapidly to his right and his left like he's a human ping-pong ball.
CHRIS
This is some macho bullshit! I'm Audi.
The cars seems to be bearing down on him from all directions!
CHRIS
Stop, drop and roll!
With that, he runs a few feet and then hurls himself to the ground and starts rolling.
CUT TO:
INT. NEWMAN'S CAR -DAY
Paul sees the black car apparently coming straight at him. He looks to his right and sees Chris still rolling away.
PAUL
What the hell...?
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
The camera closes on the black car which is a '69 Opel GT. It has MANDOM emblazoned on the sides; but we can't see the driver through the tinted windows.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
In an aerial view, we see the cars moving towards one another. Newman's Datsun is on a beeline with the Black Opel. The Mustang slows, veers off and moves towards Chris; with the Porsche tailing the Mustang.
CUT TO:
INT. MUSTANG -DAY
Steve looks to his left to see the Datsun still tearing towards the Opel, which has'nt veered it's course.
STEVE
(Crosses himself) ...Godspeed my friend.
CUT TO:
INT. DATSUN -DAY
STEVE
Looks like you picked the wrong Method actor today, pal!
CLOSE on gas pedal as Newman's bare foot smashes it to the floor.
REVERSE SMASH CUTS FROM THE DATSUN TO THE OPEL AS THEY BEAR DOWN ON ONE ANOTHER.
Newman's Datsun stays the course until at the last possible second the Opel screeches to the left and then comes to a halt on the salt.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
We see Chris, scrunched up in a ball as McQueen's shadow comes over him. Steve crouches down.
STEVE
You all right?
CHRIS
...like a salted peanut.
Steve CHUCKLES and helps Chris to his feet. Jimmy joins them and the three walk towards the Datsun.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
Chris, Steve and Jimmy fall in line next to Paul and they watch the Opel as it's door opens and we see a black-booted foot emerge and step to the ground.
JIMMY
Who is that?
STEVE
What the frig is Mandom?
They continue watching as a FIGURE emerges from the car and starts striding towards them. The person is in head-to-toe black leather and a helmet, all marked "MANDOM." The figure finally reaches them and stops a few feet away. The foursome look from one to another. The man in black leather reaches up and removes his helmet and LAUGHS. This is CHARLES BRONSON, yet another world famous movie actor. AGELESS.
CHARLES BRONSON
(SINGING)...All the world, loves a lover...every girl, in every landom...and to know, the joy of loving...is to live, in the world...of Mandom!
PAUL
Oh...shit...now we gottta play cards...
Bronson LAUGHS as the CAMERA CLOSES on his hand, which reaches into his unzipped suit and removes a pack of playing cards.
FADE TO BLACK:
OVER MONTAGE WE HEAR MORRISSEY SONG, "SUEDEHEAD."*
We see a series of shots of the three cars as they speed towards the pavillion in the distance:
CLOSE ON SPINNING WHEELS
THE CAMERA CLOSE ON THE TAIL OF THE MUSTANG
CLOSE ON THE TAIL OF THE DATSUN
CLOSE ON THE TAIL OF THE PORSCHE
REVERSE ANGLES: CLOSE ON EACH CAR AS THEY LEAP TOWARDS THE CAMERA
CLOSE ON EACH MAN AS HE DETERMINES HIS POSITIONING: NEWMAN ADJUSTS HIS REARVIEW / MCQUEEN ADJUSTS HIS SUNGLASSES / DEAN LOOKS DOWN IN THE PASSENGER SEAT WHERE HE'S DISTRACTED BY THE SOUND OF BOOK PAGES FLAPPING IN THE WIND. HE SWEEPS THE BOOK TO THE FLOOR: CLOSE ON TITLE OF BOOK: 'BEING AND NOTHINGNESS."
AERIAL SHOT OF CARS ZOOMING PAST PAVILLION
CLOSE SHOTS ON BEER CANS TUMBLING OFF PICNIC TABLE
INSERT SHOT OF MELTED CRAYONS ONTABLETOP
CLOSE ON THE COLORING BOOK AS IT'S PAGES BEGIN TO VIOLENTLY FLAP UNTIL THE BOOK IS LAUNCHED INTO THE AIR. IT PINWHEELS ACROSS THE SALT AND THE CAMERA MOVES IN ON "HOT WHEELS" LOGO.
THE CARS GO INTO THEIR TURNS
MCQUEEN PULLS OFF HIS SUNGLASSES
CLOSE ON MCQUEEN'S EYES IN THE REARVIEW AS HE WATCHS THE DATSUN CATCH HIM AND OVERTAKE HIM
FAST ZOOM ON NEWMAN'S EYES THROUGH WINDOW / CAMERA TILTS DOWN TO HIS WRY SMILE
CLOSE ON DEAN'S BLEARY EYES
DEAN'S POV OF CARS AHEAD OF HIM / HIS VISION BLURRED
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
Chris is standing in the great expanse. We cut to his POV as he sees the three cars coming back towards him. In a REVERSE ANGLE we see the horizon behind Chris, where a DARK CAR is speeding towards him. It BACKFIRES and Chris turns.
CHRIS' POV: He shades his eyes again and regards the car. He GULPS.
CHRIS
(Under his breath) ...We're going to need a bigger salt flat...
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
In an overhead shot, we see Chris a small spot, MIDSCREEN. On the left, we see the Datsun leading, closely followed by the Mustang and the Porsche eating their dust. On the right is the black car, barreling down on Chris who is kind of now between a rock and a hard place.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
The CAMERA TRACKS toward Chris as he looks rapidly to his right and his left like he's a human ping-pong ball.
CHRIS
This is some macho bullshit! I'm Audi.
The cars seems to be bearing down on him from all directions!
CHRIS
Stop, drop and roll!
With that, he runs a few feet and then hurls himself to the ground and starts rolling.
CUT TO:
INT. NEWMAN'S CAR -DAY
Paul sees the black car apparently coming straight at him. He looks to his right and sees Chris still rolling away.
PAUL
What the hell...?
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
The camera closes on the black car which is a '69 Opel GT. It has MANDOM emblazoned on the sides; but we can't see the driver through the tinted windows.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
In an aerial view, we see the cars moving towards one another. Newman's Datsun is on a beeline with the Black Opel. The Mustang slows, veers off and moves towards Chris; with the Porsche tailing the Mustang.
CUT TO:
INT. MUSTANG -DAY
Steve looks to his left to see the Datsun still tearing towards the Opel, which has'nt veered it's course.
STEVE
(Crosses himself) ...Godspeed my friend.
CUT TO:
INT. DATSUN -DAY
STEVE
Looks like you picked the wrong Method actor today, pal!
CLOSE on gas pedal as Newman's bare foot smashes it to the floor.
REVERSE SMASH CUTS FROM THE DATSUN TO THE OPEL AS THEY BEAR DOWN ON ONE ANOTHER.
Newman's Datsun stays the course until at the last possible second the Opel screeches to the left and then comes to a halt on the salt.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
We see Chris, scrunched up in a ball as McQueen's shadow comes over him. Steve crouches down.
STEVE
You all right?
CHRIS
...like a salted peanut.
Steve CHUCKLES and helps Chris to his feet. Jimmy joins them and the three walk towards the Datsun.
CUT TO:
EXT. SALT FLAT -DAY
Chris, Steve and Jimmy fall in line next to Paul and they watch the Opel as it's door opens and we see a black-booted foot emerge and step to the ground.
JIMMY
Who is that?
STEVE
What the frig is Mandom?
They continue watching as a FIGURE emerges from the car and starts striding towards them. The person is in head-to-toe black leather and a helmet, all marked "MANDOM." The figure finally reaches them and stops a few feet away. The foursome look from one to another. The man in black leather reaches up and removes his helmet and LAUGHS. This is CHARLES BRONSON, yet another world famous movie actor. AGELESS.
CHARLES BRONSON
(SINGING)...All the world, loves a lover...every girl, in every landom...and to know, the joy of loving...is to live, in the world...of Mandom!
PAUL
Oh...shit...now we gottta play cards...
Bronson LAUGHS as the CAMERA CLOSES on his hand, which reaches into his unzipped suit and removes a pack of playing cards.
FADE TO BLACK:
FADE UP:
EXT. -SALT FLAT PAVILLION AREA -DAY
Chris, Paul and Charles are sitting at the picnic table. Bronson is shuffling cards. A few yards away, Newman's Datsun is bouncing up and down. Chris keeps darting furtive glances at it. From Chris' POV, we see someone's bare feet sticking out of the window. Then, a second pair. Paul seems none too pleased.
PAUL
I just had that thing detailed...
BRONSON
(Fans out the deck) Oh, you know those Indiana boys, chef. They're just having some country-spun fun! (To Newman) Pick a card but don't show it to me.
Newman picks a card and looks at it and then places it face down on the table.
BRONSON
(To Chris) Now you, Speedy O'Hara...
Chris picks a card and follows Newman's lead.
BRONSON
You both watched me take the cellophane off that deck and I couldn't see the cards you drew...capice?
Paul and Chris nod.
BRONSON
I'm gonna call a card and then you're gonna turn them over...you first Reidy. Jack of clubs..
Chris turns over his card: nine of hearts. Bronson raises his chin towards Newman.
BRONSON
Same...
Newman turns over his card. It's the Jack of Clubs
NEWMAN
Do I win a prize?
BRONSON
Yep.
NEWMAN
What?
BRONSON
A bottle of Mandom...
NEWMAN
I'll pass.
BRONSON
I'm wearing it. (He points to the Datsun) We're next, chef.
Newman's eyebrow goes up. He starts SINGING.
NEWMAN
...all the world, loves a lover...music starts to play...darkness disappears when the one you love is near...you're in Mandom...
CHRIS
(To Charles B.) You put on a whole bottle of cologne?
Bronson throws his head back and LAUGHS. He flings some playing cards at a Chris' Freakies cereal helmet and they align themselves perfectly along the visor.
EXT. -SALT FLAT PAVILLION AREA -DAY
Chris, Paul and Charles are sitting at the picnic table. Bronson is shuffling cards. A few yards away, Newman's Datsun is bouncing up and down. Chris keeps darting furtive glances at it. From Chris' POV, we see someone's bare feet sticking out of the window. Then, a second pair. Paul seems none too pleased.
PAUL
I just had that thing detailed...
BRONSON
(Fans out the deck) Oh, you know those Indiana boys, chef. They're just having some country-spun fun! (To Newman) Pick a card but don't show it to me.
Newman picks a card and looks at it and then places it face down on the table.
BRONSON
(To Chris) Now you, Speedy O'Hara...
Chris picks a card and follows Newman's lead.
BRONSON
You both watched me take the cellophane off that deck and I couldn't see the cards you drew...capice?
Paul and Chris nod.
BRONSON
I'm gonna call a card and then you're gonna turn them over...you first Reidy. Jack of clubs..
Chris turns over his card: nine of hearts. Bronson raises his chin towards Newman.
BRONSON
Same...
Newman turns over his card. It's the Jack of Clubs
NEWMAN
Do I win a prize?
BRONSON
Yep.
NEWMAN
What?
BRONSON
A bottle of Mandom...
NEWMAN
I'll pass.
BRONSON
I'm wearing it. (He points to the Datsun) We're next, chef.
Newman's eyebrow goes up. He starts SINGING.
NEWMAN
...all the world, loves a lover...music starts to play...darkness disappears when the one you love is near...you're in Mandom...
CHRIS
(To Charles B.) You put on a whole bottle of cologne?
Bronson throws his head back and LAUGHS. He flings some playing cards at a Chris' Freakies cereal helmet and they align themselves perfectly along the visor.
Artwork by Tim Joyner
FADE TO BLACK
*I chose the song "Suedehead" by Morrissey because it's about James Dean (I think) and it's a great song. But that is from the Morrissey of 1988. Nowadays, he seems to have become something of a Right-Wing-Douche. I don't really know what his politics are and I don't care; but I don't get very good vibes from him now. In fact, I gave up on his music in the mid-2000s after I purchaseed Ringleader of the Tormentors and found it unlistenable to. Perhaps I'd outgrown him. I also read some excerpts of his first novel and couldn't figure out if was deliberately awful (which is kind of genius); or just plain awful (which is sad and disappointing). In any event, I don't think most people know the song "Suedehead" is about Dean. In fact, I'm not even sure.
So, with that in mind; let's set THE SALT FLAT RACING MONTAGE to something more fun. How about The B-52's "Devil In My Car"? Yeah, I think that's better. Here's a video of the gang when they were only about a year out from forming. Where does the time go?
So, with that in mind; let's set THE SALT FLAT RACING MONTAGE to something more fun. How about The B-52's "Devil In My Car"? Yeah, I think that's better. Here's a video of the gang when they were only about a year out from forming. Where does the time go?
PLEASE SEE: RACIN' AND RAPPIN' / PART 4 for the next installment!
CFR 7/11/25
CFR 7/11/25