Okay, we're going to scrap the deliberate camp attempt. But we are going to have Ally Sheedy narrate. Now, I love and have always loved Ms. Sheedy; but her voice is and always has been, shall we say, of a singular quality. It's deep San Fernando Valley which is really odd as she grew up in New York City. It's truly in full force in The Breakfast Club.
CAREER ASPIRATION / ALLY SHEEDY ADJACENT PHENOMENOLOGICAL OBSERVATION:
I think you'll find this interesting. So, when I went to Boston University School of Public Communication as it was known in 1984 (it's now the College of Communication or "COC" (No comment!) I of course assumed I would graduate, go to Hollywood, be handed a movie camera and be the first famous filmmaker from my hometown of Saugus, Massachusetts. Of course I was wrong. Somebody beat me to the punch; with a movie starring Ally Sheedy, no less. It was a movie called The Autumn Heart which was released in 1999. I can find almost no information about this movie and its production. The film itself, however, can be found in it's entirety on Youtube; so, here it is:
I think you'll find this interesting. So, when I went to Boston University School of Public Communication as it was known in 1984 (it's now the College of Communication or "COC" (No comment!) I of course assumed I would graduate, go to Hollywood, be handed a movie camera and be the first famous filmmaker from my hometown of Saugus, Massachusetts. Of course I was wrong. Somebody beat me to the punch; with a movie starring Ally Sheedy, no less. It was a movie called The Autumn Heart which was released in 1999. I can find almost no information about this movie and its production. The film itself, however, can be found in it's entirety on Youtube; so, here it is:
It was filmed all over the Northshore area of Massachusetts; aka "The Nahwth Shaure of Bawstin." Including, I believe, Saugus. My understanding is that the film's scribe was/is from Saugus. A Mr. Davidlee Willson. He is also one of the featured players in the movie. So, also an actor. Here's a still from a picture he was in:***
I think he's the fellow in the front row, third from the left. I don't know what this picture is about, but I'm guessing from the swastika on the dude in the middle it's some kind of skinhead/white supremacy story, which I of course do not condone. I mean, the ideology; and not necessarily movies examining said subject.
***NOTE:
I replaced the film still from Mr. Willson's skinhead movie and replaced it with a frame grab from The Autumn Heart. I don't like the whole Neo-Nazi aesthetic even if it's from a fictional work. It's bad energy in any form. That's him on the left with Ms. Sheedy; giving off a total St. Elmo's bar vibe. They even order "Saugus Special" shots, which I've never had...maybe because I never really hung out in Saugus? I was in Boston, first chance I got, baby! Or dive bars in Lynn that didn't cahhd. If you know, you know!
In any event, it seems that as we're only five years apart in age (he's younger), from the same hometown and have super-dupe-similar interests our paths would've crossed at some point. But they didn't. And he seems to have thoroughly disappeared from Showbiz. I would love to have a drink with him and compare life notes. Like, how did his movie get made with him in it? Where did he go? So many questions!!!
AND NOW, BACK TO ST. ELMO'S
Before I get into story beats and the whole "where are they now?" explorations, let's just open with a scene. And other than Ms. Sheedy's inherently amusing vocal intonations in the narration, this is going to be "straight" drama (even though there is now a super-dupe GAY story thread, natch). All you need to know at this point is that Rob L. did have a drug problem that developed in NYC and that he hit rock bottom by almost dying. And the other thing is that Ally Sheedy's character, unbeknownst to us in the first movie (we never really do find out what it is she does) is an heiress; and we find out in this sequel that she has come into her inheritance and is an extremely wealthy, jet-setting gal about the globe.
***NOTE:
I replaced the film still from Mr. Willson's skinhead movie and replaced it with a frame grab from The Autumn Heart. I don't like the whole Neo-Nazi aesthetic even if it's from a fictional work. It's bad energy in any form. That's him on the left with Ms. Sheedy; giving off a total St. Elmo's bar vibe. They even order "Saugus Special" shots, which I've never had...maybe because I never really hung out in Saugus? I was in Boston, first chance I got, baby! Or dive bars in Lynn that didn't cahhd. If you know, you know!
In any event, it seems that as we're only five years apart in age (he's younger), from the same hometown and have super-dupe-similar interests our paths would've crossed at some point. But they didn't. And he seems to have thoroughly disappeared from Showbiz. I would love to have a drink with him and compare life notes. Like, how did his movie get made with him in it? Where did he go? So many questions!!!
AND NOW, BACK TO ST. ELMO'S
Before I get into story beats and the whole "where are they now?" explorations, let's just open with a scene. And other than Ms. Sheedy's inherently amusing vocal intonations in the narration, this is going to be "straight" drama (even though there is now a super-dupe GAY story thread, natch). All you need to know at this point is that Rob L. did have a drug problem that developed in NYC and that he hit rock bottom by almost dying. And the other thing is that Ally Sheedy's character, unbeknownst to us in the first movie (we never really do find out what it is she does) is an heiress; and we find out in this sequel that she has come into her inheritance and is an extremely wealthy, jet-setting gal about the globe.
Sorry Rob, not even you look good from that angle. I know all about it. I shot a commercial here for a hospital and they shot me from the same angle and I looked like Moby Dick. I'll post it later, if I can find it!
ST. ELMO'S FIRE 2: STILL BURNING
An experiment in sequelity and/or sequels and/or prequels
FADE FROM BLACK:
A hospital vital signs monitor comes into FOCUS as we watch the little bouncing ball of light BLEEP-BLEEP across the screen. All signs are stable as the camera pulls back to reveal an unconscious man in the hospital bed. He's pretty banged up; but even banged up, he still looks like a movie star. This is BILLY HICKS (ROB LOWE-A-LIKE), mid-20's. As the camera continues to PULL BACK, we see a WOMAN from behind, gazing out the hospital window. We recognize the skyline as Manhattan. The woman at the window is swathed in a full-length sable coat. She SIGHS and turns from the window as she toys with her pearl necklace. The woman is LESLIE HUNTER (ALLY SHEEDY DE-AGED?), mid-20's. She goes to a chair and removes a saxophone from it. She hangs the sax by it's strap from a hook on the wall and sits in the chair. She picks up her designer bag and rummage in it, retrieving a mobile phone.
ST. ELMO'S FIRE 2: STILL BURNING
An experiment in sequelity and/or sequels and/or prequels
FADE FROM BLACK:
A hospital vital signs monitor comes into FOCUS as we watch the little bouncing ball of light BLEEP-BLEEP across the screen. All signs are stable as the camera pulls back to reveal an unconscious man in the hospital bed. He's pretty banged up; but even banged up, he still looks like a movie star. This is BILLY HICKS (ROB LOWE-A-LIKE), mid-20's. As the camera continues to PULL BACK, we see a WOMAN from behind, gazing out the hospital window. We recognize the skyline as Manhattan. The woman at the window is swathed in a full-length sable coat. She SIGHS and turns from the window as she toys with her pearl necklace. The woman is LESLIE HUNTER (ALLY SHEEDY DE-AGED?), mid-20's. She goes to a chair and removes a saxophone from it. She hangs the sax by it's strap from a hook on the wall and sits in the chair. She picks up her designer bag and rummage in it, retrieving a mobile phone.
LESLIE in V/0 NARRATION (as she presses numbers into the phone):
I got the call about Billy when I was in Gstaad. I was in the middle of a slalom. I nearly skiied off the run. If I hadn't stopped to answer the call, I would've. But I was lucky. I didn't fall. Billy wasn't so lucky. He fell. Fell far. He fell from a great height, even though it was only off of a second floor fire escape on the Bowery. Fire. Escape. Can any of us really escape the fire? Those trials we all must endure?
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE -DAY
A SECRETARY at theri desk types at a computer. Behind them, on the panelled wall, in large brass script letters we see the name of the company: BEAMISH GREETINGS and below that: "The card that says you CARE." The phone on the desk rings and the the secretary answers.
SECRETARY
Wendy Beamishes office, may I help you. Oh, well she's in a meeting...an emergency? Who's calling?
CUT TO:
INT. PRESIDENT OF BEAMISH GREETINGS OFFICE -DAY
WENDY BEAMISH (MARE WINNINGHAM MATCH) mid-20's, is behind her desk with the phone receiver to her ear. She's in mid-conversation.
WENDY
Mom...I don't know who she is. What? Mother...yes, he told me everything...but he never mentioned he had a mistress. Could we please not--
The INTERCOM BUZZES
WENDY
Hold on mom. Yes?
SECRETARY
(V/O) I have a Leslie Hunter on line two. She says it's an emergency.
WENDY
What? Oh--hold on. Mom, I've gotta take this call. Yes. Bye. Put her through! Leslie, Leslie? What it is it? What's wrong?
(The call CUTS back and forth between Leslie and Wendy).
LESLIE
It's Billy. I thought you should know, he's in the hospital.
WENDY
What happened? Is he okay?
LESLIE
I hope I didn't alarm you, saying this was an emergency. I just wanted to make sure they put me through.
WENDY
What's going on? He's dead, isn't he?
LESLIE
He's not dead. He's in a coma.
I got the call about Billy when I was in Gstaad. I was in the middle of a slalom. I nearly skiied off the run. If I hadn't stopped to answer the call, I would've. But I was lucky. I didn't fall. Billy wasn't so lucky. He fell. Fell far. He fell from a great height, even though it was only off of a second floor fire escape on the Bowery. Fire. Escape. Can any of us really escape the fire? Those trials we all must endure?
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE -DAY
A SECRETARY at theri desk types at a computer. Behind them, on the panelled wall, in large brass script letters we see the name of the company: BEAMISH GREETINGS and below that: "The card that says you CARE." The phone on the desk rings and the the secretary answers.
SECRETARY
Wendy Beamishes office, may I help you. Oh, well she's in a meeting...an emergency? Who's calling?
CUT TO:
INT. PRESIDENT OF BEAMISH GREETINGS OFFICE -DAY
WENDY BEAMISH (MARE WINNINGHAM MATCH) mid-20's, is behind her desk with the phone receiver to her ear. She's in mid-conversation.
WENDY
Mom...I don't know who she is. What? Mother...yes, he told me everything...but he never mentioned he had a mistress. Could we please not--
The INTERCOM BUZZES
WENDY
Hold on mom. Yes?
SECRETARY
(V/O) I have a Leslie Hunter on line two. She says it's an emergency.
WENDY
What? Oh--hold on. Mom, I've gotta take this call. Yes. Bye. Put her through! Leslie, Leslie? What it is it? What's wrong?
(The call CUTS back and forth between Leslie and Wendy).
LESLIE
It's Billy. I thought you should know, he's in the hospital.
WENDY
What happened? Is he okay?
LESLIE
I hope I didn't alarm you, saying this was an emergency. I just wanted to make sure they put me through.
WENDY
What's going on? He's dead, isn't he?
LESLIE
He's not dead. He's in a coma.
WENDY
Oh my God, I'm coming there. What hospital? I'm on the next plane--
LESLIE
It's New York Presbyterian. But Wendy, no. Don't put yourself through that stress.
Leslie looks up when she hears SQUEAKING SNEAKERS in the hall. A man runs past the room. After a moment, he returns and rushes into the room.
LESLIE
Kevin?
MAN
Oh--hi...I wasn't expecting--
WENDY (V/O throughout)
What's happening? What--
LESLIE
Kevin just walked in.
WENDY
Talk to him. Listen, promise me you'll call me if anything changes.
LESLIE
Of course.
WENDY
Leslie, please watch over him.
LESLIE
I promise.
She CLICKS off the phone and puts it in her bag. The man who has come into the room is already lighting a cigarette. He has a beard and seems buried in a trench coat, fedora and scarf. This is KEVIN DOLENZ (ANDREW MCCARTHY MATCH), late 20's.
LESLIE
You weren't expecting what, Kevin?
KEVIN
(Gesturing to Billy) That he'd be alive.
LESLIE
What's with the beard?
KEVIN
Have you been talking to Jules?
LESLIE
That was Wendy.
KEVIN
How is she?
LESLIE
How do you think she is?
KEVIN
Could we please not play twenty qestions?
He lays his cigarette on the top of the vitals monitor; the burning end just over the edge, as only the most inveterate of smokers would. Jules shakes her head--there's no use saying anything to him. He looks at the monitor readouts, then turns to the bed and leans over Billy, using a thumb to raise one of the prone patient's eyelids.
KEVIN
Well, we have R.E.M. happening, something's going on in there...
LESLIE
Kevin, that's not funny.
KEVIN
But it's not, "not" funny...
He turns and reaches for the sax, unknowingly knocking the cigarette off the top ot the monitor, where it rolls off and into the wires behind it. Kevin retrieves the sax and runs his hand over a dent on the bottom.
KEVIN
Please don't tell me he was playing this when he fell.
LESLIE
(She nods) And witnesses said he was playing "When I Fall in Love..."
KEVIN
Oh, I'm using that!
He plays a few ungainly notes on the sax and Leslie frowns.
Oh my God, I'm coming there. What hospital? I'm on the next plane--
LESLIE
It's New York Presbyterian. But Wendy, no. Don't put yourself through that stress.
Leslie looks up when she hears SQUEAKING SNEAKERS in the hall. A man runs past the room. After a moment, he returns and rushes into the room.
LESLIE
Kevin?
MAN
Oh--hi...I wasn't expecting--
WENDY (V/O throughout)
What's happening? What--
LESLIE
Kevin just walked in.
WENDY
Talk to him. Listen, promise me you'll call me if anything changes.
LESLIE
Of course.
WENDY
Leslie, please watch over him.
LESLIE
I promise.
She CLICKS off the phone and puts it in her bag. The man who has come into the room is already lighting a cigarette. He has a beard and seems buried in a trench coat, fedora and scarf. This is KEVIN DOLENZ (ANDREW MCCARTHY MATCH), late 20's.
LESLIE
You weren't expecting what, Kevin?
KEVIN
(Gesturing to Billy) That he'd be alive.
LESLIE
What's with the beard?
KEVIN
Have you been talking to Jules?
LESLIE
That was Wendy.
KEVIN
How is she?
LESLIE
How do you think she is?
KEVIN
Could we please not play twenty qestions?
He lays his cigarette on the top of the vitals monitor; the burning end just over the edge, as only the most inveterate of smokers would. Jules shakes her head--there's no use saying anything to him. He looks at the monitor readouts, then turns to the bed and leans over Billy, using a thumb to raise one of the prone patient's eyelids.
KEVIN
Well, we have R.E.M. happening, something's going on in there...
LESLIE
Kevin, that's not funny.
KEVIN
But it's not, "not" funny...
He turns and reaches for the sax, unknowingly knocking the cigarette off the top ot the monitor, where it rolls off and into the wires behind it. Kevin retrieves the sax and runs his hand over a dent on the bottom.
KEVIN
Please don't tell me he was playing this when he fell.
LESLIE
(She nods) And witnesses said he was playing "When I Fall in Love..."
KEVIN
Oh, I'm using that!
He plays a few ungainly notes on the sax and Leslie frowns.
KEVIN
What are they saying?
LESLIE
Well, he's in a drug induced coma--
KEVIN
Medically induced?
LESLIE
More like ludes. And crack. And smack. And--
KEVIN
Everything but Sominex, right?
LESLIE
Probably that too.
KEVIN
He was never known for his reserve.
LESLIE
(Standing) Where is that smoke coming from?
Plumes of smoke begin to rise up from behind the monitor. It bursts into flames as an ALARM goes off. There is pandemonium as Leslie pulls some flowers from a vase and tries to put out the flames. A NURSE rushes into the room.
NURSE
What the hell?
Kevin, meanwhile, has found a fire extinguisher and is trying to figure out how to work it. HOSPITAL STAFF begin rushing into the room. Kevin finally gets the pin out of the extinguisher and douses the flames. A second ALARM goes off. A CRASH CART is wheeled in. Frenzied consultation leads to the nurse raising resuscitation paddles over Billy.
NURSE
Code Blue, code blue...clear, clear!
Just as she's about to apply the paddles, Billy's eyes open and he sits up.
BILLY
This isn't CBGB...
As if in answer, the monitor bursts into a second wave of flames as the camera CLOSES on the fire and we hear the famous ST. ELMO'S FIRE THEME on saxaphone.
NOTE: We could do a credit sequence recapping the first movie, kind of like the following. AND WHO KNEW THIS SONG HAD LYRICS?!!? THE SEQUEL MUST HAVE A NEW RECORDING WITH THE LYRICS, AM I RIGHT TAYLOR SWIFT???
What are they saying?
LESLIE
Well, he's in a drug induced coma--
KEVIN
Medically induced?
LESLIE
More like ludes. And crack. And smack. And--
KEVIN
Everything but Sominex, right?
LESLIE
Probably that too.
KEVIN
He was never known for his reserve.
LESLIE
(Standing) Where is that smoke coming from?
Plumes of smoke begin to rise up from behind the monitor. It bursts into flames as an ALARM goes off. There is pandemonium as Leslie pulls some flowers from a vase and tries to put out the flames. A NURSE rushes into the room.
NURSE
What the hell?
Kevin, meanwhile, has found a fire extinguisher and is trying to figure out how to work it. HOSPITAL STAFF begin rushing into the room. Kevin finally gets the pin out of the extinguisher and douses the flames. A second ALARM goes off. A CRASH CART is wheeled in. Frenzied consultation leads to the nurse raising resuscitation paddles over Billy.
NURSE
Code Blue, code blue...clear, clear!
Just as she's about to apply the paddles, Billy's eyes open and he sits up.
BILLY
This isn't CBGB...
As if in answer, the monitor bursts into a second wave of flames as the camera CLOSES on the fire and we hear the famous ST. ELMO'S FIRE THEME on saxaphone.
NOTE: We could do a credit sequence recapping the first movie, kind of like the following. AND WHO KNEW THIS SONG HAD LYRICS?!!? THE SEQUEL MUST HAVE A NEW RECORDING WITH THE LYRICS, AM I RIGHT TAYLOR SWIFT???
CUT TO:
TITLE CARD ON BLACK READS: PRESENT DAY
Note: The core group of characters are now the ages the actors playing them would be, currently. In the 60-something ballpark.
INT. -LIMOUSINE -NIGHT
Leslie, dressed to the nines in black velvet sips a glass of champagne as she adjusts her readers and looks at a card she's holding. We see an INSERT SHOT of the card. It is an invitation bearing the logo of GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY. Beneath that, we can make out some text: GEORGETOWN ALUMNI GATHERING / MORETTI BALLROOM - WATERGATE HOTEL etc. etc. Leslie SIGHS and takes another sip of her champagne.
CHAUFFER
I'm afraid we've hit some traffic ma'am.
LESLIE
Take all the time you want. (Under her breath) I'm not in any rush.
CUT TO:
INT. MORETTI BALLROOM, WATERGATE HOTEL -NIGHT
TITLE CARD ON BLACK READS: PRESENT DAY
Note: The core group of characters are now the ages the actors playing them would be, currently. In the 60-something ballpark.
INT. -LIMOUSINE -NIGHT
Leslie, dressed to the nines in black velvet sips a glass of champagne as she adjusts her readers and looks at a card she's holding. We see an INSERT SHOT of the card. It is an invitation bearing the logo of GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY. Beneath that, we can make out some text: GEORGETOWN ALUMNI GATHERING / MORETTI BALLROOM - WATERGATE HOTEL etc. etc. Leslie SIGHS and takes another sip of her champagne.
CHAUFFER
I'm afraid we've hit some traffic ma'am.
LESLIE
Take all the time you want. (Under her breath) I'm not in any rush.
CUT TO:
INT. MORETTI BALLROOM, WATERGATE HOTEL -NIGHT
A black-tie event is in progress. Ritzy cocktail jazz music fills the air. At the crowded bar, KIRBY "KIRBO" KEGER (EMILIO ESTEVEZ) in a classic tux, is being handed two martinis from the BARTENDER a young kid, obviously green. Kirby puts down a glass, fishes in his pocket, pulls out a $50 and jams it in the tip jar.
BARTENDER
Hey, thanks man!
Kirby is wearing a questionable piece of headwear: A cowboy hat with a sparkling, rhinestone hatband. He tips it to the bartender.
KIRBY
I've been standing right where you are man. It gets better!
BARTENDER
I'll keep 'em coming. Where's your table?
KIRBY
Do you see that gorgeous lady in the red dress near the stage?
He points and the bartender scans the crowd. From his POV the CAMERA picks out a stunning woman in a shimmering red dress. This is Kirby's wife, DR. DALE KEGER A,K.A. MRS. KIRBY KEGER, NEE BIEBERMAN (ANDIE MCDOWELL). She is leaning in to a conversation with two MEN seated near her.
BARTENDER
How could I miss her?
Kirby smiles, picks up the drink and heads through the crowd.
CUT TO:
INT. BALLROOM -NIGHT
At one of the well-appointed tables, Dale throws her head back, LAUGHING at something one of the men has said.
DALE
...Well where do you think he gets the hats? Do you think he picks them out himself? That's all me, darling!
Sitting to her right is Kevin Dolenz, now being played by Andrew McCarthy proper. He takes a would-be drag on a fake cigarette. To his right is his husband, RON DELLASANDRO (MATTHEW LAURENCE), late 60's.
RON
I don't know Dale...I don't think even I'd wear that hat...
A CHIC WOMAN- 70'S - dripping in diamonds; sits on the other side of the table, sipping some champagne.
CHIC WOMAN
Tell me doctor, is he from Texas?
DALE
No. And his hats, well, they're usually not quite that sparkly. It's a gimmick. You know, a lawyer thing. (Doing air quotes) His trademark.
Kirby returns to the table and places one of the drinks in front of Dale.
KIRBY
What'd I miss?
KEVIN
Not the fire sale at Rhnestones 'R' Us, apparently.
KIRBY
Oh, you're jealous Kev. Just because you can't pull off a statement hat.
KEVIN
Ah, but you forget that I started the Great Georgetown Fedora Fever that swept the Beltway in '85.
KIRBY
Yes, I did forget. I had to go to hypnosis to do it.
DALE
Well, at least you had the sense not to keep that rat-tail honey. I don't think we'd still be together if you hadn't gotten rid of it.
RON
(To Kevin) Oh, is that where you got it?
A TUXEDOED MAN approaches the podium on the stage as the lights dim.
TUXEDO MAN
I'd like to get things started, if everyone could take their seats and we can get to our first speaker. Now, I'd like you to welcome the Head Chairwoman of The American Mothers of Promise, Mrs. Jules Van Patten-Laine!
There is APPLAUSE
KEVIN
(Under his breath) ...here we go...
JULES (DEMI MOORE), emerges from the wings to the strains of BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC--albeit a jazzy version. In classic, black Chanel, she is the picture of cool, elegant conservatism: quite a contrast to her Georgetown, St. Elmo's Party Girl days.
RON
God she's fabulous!
KEVIN
(Scowling) Really?
RON
She's my friend Kevin.
KIRBY
Boys...
BARTENDER
Hey, thanks man!
Kirby is wearing a questionable piece of headwear: A cowboy hat with a sparkling, rhinestone hatband. He tips it to the bartender.
KIRBY
I've been standing right where you are man. It gets better!
BARTENDER
I'll keep 'em coming. Where's your table?
KIRBY
Do you see that gorgeous lady in the red dress near the stage?
He points and the bartender scans the crowd. From his POV the CAMERA picks out a stunning woman in a shimmering red dress. This is Kirby's wife, DR. DALE KEGER A,K.A. MRS. KIRBY KEGER, NEE BIEBERMAN (ANDIE MCDOWELL). She is leaning in to a conversation with two MEN seated near her.
BARTENDER
How could I miss her?
Kirby smiles, picks up the drink and heads through the crowd.
CUT TO:
INT. BALLROOM -NIGHT
At one of the well-appointed tables, Dale throws her head back, LAUGHING at something one of the men has said.
DALE
...Well where do you think he gets the hats? Do you think he picks them out himself? That's all me, darling!
Sitting to her right is Kevin Dolenz, now being played by Andrew McCarthy proper. He takes a would-be drag on a fake cigarette. To his right is his husband, RON DELLASANDRO (MATTHEW LAURENCE), late 60's.
RON
I don't know Dale...I don't think even I'd wear that hat...
A CHIC WOMAN- 70'S - dripping in diamonds; sits on the other side of the table, sipping some champagne.
CHIC WOMAN
Tell me doctor, is he from Texas?
DALE
No. And his hats, well, they're usually not quite that sparkly. It's a gimmick. You know, a lawyer thing. (Doing air quotes) His trademark.
Kirby returns to the table and places one of the drinks in front of Dale.
KIRBY
What'd I miss?
KEVIN
Not the fire sale at Rhnestones 'R' Us, apparently.
KIRBY
Oh, you're jealous Kev. Just because you can't pull off a statement hat.
KEVIN
Ah, but you forget that I started the Great Georgetown Fedora Fever that swept the Beltway in '85.
KIRBY
Yes, I did forget. I had to go to hypnosis to do it.
DALE
Well, at least you had the sense not to keep that rat-tail honey. I don't think we'd still be together if you hadn't gotten rid of it.
RON
(To Kevin) Oh, is that where you got it?
A TUXEDOED MAN approaches the podium on the stage as the lights dim.
TUXEDO MAN
I'd like to get things started, if everyone could take their seats and we can get to our first speaker. Now, I'd like you to welcome the Head Chairwoman of The American Mothers of Promise, Mrs. Jules Van Patten-Laine!
There is APPLAUSE
KEVIN
(Under his breath) ...here we go...
JULES (DEMI MOORE), emerges from the wings to the strains of BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC--albeit a jazzy version. In classic, black Chanel, she is the picture of cool, elegant conservatism: quite a contrast to her Georgetown, St. Elmo's Party Girl days.
RON
God she's fabulous!
KEVIN
(Scowling) Really?
RON
She's my friend Kevin.
KIRBY
Boys...
The MUSIC comes to a stop and Jules adjusts the microphone.
JULES
Good evening everyone! On behalf of AMP and The Georgetown's Women's Alliance and, of course, The Georgetown University College Republicans I want to thank you all for coming tonight. I'm looking out into this gorgeous audience and I'm seeing a lot of familiar faces...
She waves at Ron who waves back. Kevin rolls his eyes.
JULES
And I'm pretty sure a lot of you here tonight know who I am--
There is a round of APPLAUSE from the audience, with the exception of perhaps, Kevin. Jules smiles until it subsides.
JULES
But tonight isn't about me--
Kevin stifles a LAUGH. Ron elbows him.
JULES
Tonight we're to support someone. A hero. Our hero. Someone we all love. But if you don't know who he is, let me tell you a little something about him that you don't know. He saved my life once...
CROSS-FADE TO:
Leslie's limo pulls up to the curb in front of the ballroom entrance. We watch as she waits for the chauffer, do some last minute touch-up in a gold compact.
LESLIE (NARRATING)
She's talking about my ex-husband. This is why we're all here paying three grand a plate. To support him. What I'm sure Jules will forget to mention about the night that Alec "saved her life" was that she was flying past Jupiter on a magic carpet that ran on nose candy. She's always said she was almost raped that night. But Jules says a lot of things. Things she can never confirm or deny.*
CUT TO:
INT. DRESSING ROOM -BALLROOM BACKSTAGE -NIGHT
(CONTINUOUS)
SENATOR ALEC NEWBARY (JUDD NELSON) is in chair, having his hair and make-up finished by a small team of ASSISTANTS. On the counter is a laptop which is open. A video call is in progress. On the screen is one of Alec's children from his third marriage. She is an adorable seven year-old named MARTHA.
MARTHA
Daddy, when are you coming home?
ALEC
I'll see you tomorrow honey. Where did mommy go?
MARTHA
She's talking to Theresa in the kitchen.
Martha is unceremoniously pushed out of view by her younger brother, TEDDY, 6ish.
TEDDY
(As we hear Matha CRYING O/S) Daddy, look at my new Kookie Cavepeople car!
Teddy holds up a toy car with a figure of a two cartoon cavemen carrying clubs in the front seat.
ALEC
Where did you get that son?
TEDDY
In my cereal!
ALEC
That's cool! Teddy, where's--
A gorgeous, young BLONDE WOMAN comes on to the screen. This is Alec's wife, MARISSA. Late 20's, early 30's. She has a bit of the cheerleader mixed with a Lady-Who-Lunches-in-the-making-thing going on.
MARISSA
Teddy, what have I told you about pushing your sister?
ALEC
Seems like you have your hands full there.
MARISSA
It's definitely past bedtime. And I let them have cereal. Did you give your speech yet?
ALEC
No, they're introducing me now--
Alec glances up and sees in the mirror, Leslie, standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb.
MARISSA
You better go. I'd wish you luck, but I know you won't need it.
ALEC
(Laughs) Never hurts...
MARISSA
I love you.
ALEC
Love you too. See you tomorrow.
He reaches up and closes the screen.
LESLIE
I love her too.
ALEC
No you don't.
LESLIE
No. I really do. I love how she puts up with you.
ALEC
Leslie--
Before he can complete his sentence, Billy appears in the doorway. He too is in a tux, but instead of a black bow-tie, he is wearing a skinny, red-leather one, loosened with a couple of buttons undone. His sax, as usual, is slung over his shoulder.
BILLY
Hey you two!
LESLIE
Hi sweetheart!
The have a quick couple of busses and a hug.
BILLY
What'd'ya think?
ALEC
Of what?
BILLY
My solo on Battle Hymn?
LESLIE
I just got here Billy.
ALEC
I was on a call.
BILLY
Well, you missed it. My truth was marching on man!
Leslie gestures at the sax and Billy puts it to his lips and starts jamming on said "hymn."
*NOTE:
Please refer to the 5.37 mark for The Night Alec Saved Jules: En ESPANA!
JULES
Good evening everyone! On behalf of AMP and The Georgetown's Women's Alliance and, of course, The Georgetown University College Republicans I want to thank you all for coming tonight. I'm looking out into this gorgeous audience and I'm seeing a lot of familiar faces...
She waves at Ron who waves back. Kevin rolls his eyes.
JULES
And I'm pretty sure a lot of you here tonight know who I am--
There is a round of APPLAUSE from the audience, with the exception of perhaps, Kevin. Jules smiles until it subsides.
JULES
But tonight isn't about me--
Kevin stifles a LAUGH. Ron elbows him.
JULES
Tonight we're to support someone. A hero. Our hero. Someone we all love. But if you don't know who he is, let me tell you a little something about him that you don't know. He saved my life once...
CROSS-FADE TO:
Leslie's limo pulls up to the curb in front of the ballroom entrance. We watch as she waits for the chauffer, do some last minute touch-up in a gold compact.
LESLIE (NARRATING)
She's talking about my ex-husband. This is why we're all here paying three grand a plate. To support him. What I'm sure Jules will forget to mention about the night that Alec "saved her life" was that she was flying past Jupiter on a magic carpet that ran on nose candy. She's always said she was almost raped that night. But Jules says a lot of things. Things she can never confirm or deny.*
CUT TO:
INT. DRESSING ROOM -BALLROOM BACKSTAGE -NIGHT
(CONTINUOUS)
SENATOR ALEC NEWBARY (JUDD NELSON) is in chair, having his hair and make-up finished by a small team of ASSISTANTS. On the counter is a laptop which is open. A video call is in progress. On the screen is one of Alec's children from his third marriage. She is an adorable seven year-old named MARTHA.
MARTHA
Daddy, when are you coming home?
ALEC
I'll see you tomorrow honey. Where did mommy go?
MARTHA
She's talking to Theresa in the kitchen.
Martha is unceremoniously pushed out of view by her younger brother, TEDDY, 6ish.
TEDDY
(As we hear Matha CRYING O/S) Daddy, look at my new Kookie Cavepeople car!
Teddy holds up a toy car with a figure of a two cartoon cavemen carrying clubs in the front seat.
ALEC
Where did you get that son?
TEDDY
In my cereal!
ALEC
That's cool! Teddy, where's--
A gorgeous, young BLONDE WOMAN comes on to the screen. This is Alec's wife, MARISSA. Late 20's, early 30's. She has a bit of the cheerleader mixed with a Lady-Who-Lunches-in-the-making-thing going on.
MARISSA
Teddy, what have I told you about pushing your sister?
ALEC
Seems like you have your hands full there.
MARISSA
It's definitely past bedtime. And I let them have cereal. Did you give your speech yet?
ALEC
No, they're introducing me now--
Alec glances up and sees in the mirror, Leslie, standing in the doorway, leaning against the jamb.
MARISSA
You better go. I'd wish you luck, but I know you won't need it.
ALEC
(Laughs) Never hurts...
MARISSA
I love you.
ALEC
Love you too. See you tomorrow.
He reaches up and closes the screen.
LESLIE
I love her too.
ALEC
No you don't.
LESLIE
No. I really do. I love how she puts up with you.
ALEC
Leslie--
Before he can complete his sentence, Billy appears in the doorway. He too is in a tux, but instead of a black bow-tie, he is wearing a skinny, red-leather one, loosened with a couple of buttons undone. His sax, as usual, is slung over his shoulder.
BILLY
Hey you two!
LESLIE
Hi sweetheart!
The have a quick couple of busses and a hug.
BILLY
What'd'ya think?
ALEC
Of what?
BILLY
My solo on Battle Hymn?
LESLIE
I just got here Billy.
ALEC
I was on a call.
BILLY
Well, you missed it. My truth was marching on man!
Leslie gestures at the sax and Billy puts it to his lips and starts jamming on said "hymn."
*NOTE:
Please refer to the 5.37 mark for The Night Alec Saved Jules: En ESPANA!
Okay, that's all I'm writing. Unless Columbia Pictures wants to cut me a check! But you get the idea. Some plot-point, bulletpoints!:
--Jules, is now an ultra-conservative. She married that guy from the first movie who we see in the first scene, who doesn't have any lines. She and he have like a bunch of kids; as she's embraced her Catholicism (I mean, she did go to Georgetown, rght? I guess she studied finance?).
--Jules, is now an ultra-conservative. She married that guy from the first movie who we see in the first scene, who doesn't have any lines. She and he have like a bunch of kids; as she's embraced her Catholicism (I mean, she did go to Georgetown, rght? I guess she studied finance?).
--It turns out the Jules was correct all along in her assumptions about Kevin Dolenz (Andrew McCarthy). She even nailed the matchmaking between Kevin and her friend Ron, the interior decorator. At some point between the original and the sequel they hooked up, fell in love, got married and turned out to be the happiest couple from the Class of '85. However, when Jules discovered her calling as a right-wing Republican crusader and became the Anita Bryant of the 90's and 2000's, it put a bit of a crimp in her friendship with Kevin; particularly when she tried to outlaw gays adopting kids, right when Kevin and Ron were trying to do so. Awkward!
--Leslie, as we've mentioned, has come into a fortune and is now a lady of leisure/world traveller/travel writer, etc. She did marry Alec at some point between A and Z. The marriage didn't last long. Alec, scorpion that he is, turned out to be a serial cheater (no surprise there). Leslie and Alec share a child. Now grown, their son suffers from severe mental and neurodevelopmental issues to the point where he's been institutionalized. They visit their son, whose name is JAMES as often as they can, together. They're still grudging friends, even though things between them never worked out.
--Alec is now a powerful and popular senator, running for reelection. Will his cheating past return to rock him in a sex scandal during the course of this movie? You know it will!
--Billy now owns St. Elmo's bar. It's successful and he's settled down with his wife and now has grown children. He's quite happy and content, now that he's cheated death after falling off the roof of CBGB's.
--Leslie, as we've mentioned, has come into a fortune and is now a lady of leisure/world traveller/travel writer, etc. She did marry Alec at some point between A and Z. The marriage didn't last long. Alec, scorpion that he is, turned out to be a serial cheater (no surprise there). Leslie and Alec share a child. Now grown, their son suffers from severe mental and neurodevelopmental issues to the point where he's been institutionalized. They visit their son, whose name is JAMES as often as they can, together. They're still grudging friends, even though things between them never worked out.
--Alec is now a powerful and popular senator, running for reelection. Will his cheating past return to rock him in a sex scandal during the course of this movie? You know it will!
--Billy now owns St. Elmo's bar. It's successful and he's settled down with his wife and now has grown children. He's quite happy and content, now that he's cheated death after falling off the roof of CBGB's.
Wrapping this up soon!
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