Sometimes, when I think about my past; look at it in my mind's eye, recently; I feel that certain things happened so that I would be writing about them right now. In this moment. For some reason. I don't know what the "reasons" might or could be (well, I do--but I'm not going to get into that); but that's my feeling. That's my feeling and I'm sticking with it. Here's another of Tom V.'s portraits. I get the feeling this is a standard 8 x 10 headshot.
Something's going on with him. The happy-go-lucky, daffy insouciance is gone. There's a decided world weariness. His gaze is drifting past the camera, like he's thinking about something other than having his headshot taken. There seem to be a lot more wrinkles around the eyes. Even his curls have lost their bounce. I have no idea, but my thought is that this is sometime after We Got It Made; maybe right after the bizarre second season. He hasn't broken some glass ceiling in his career and he knows it and he doesn't understand why. If it hasn't happened yet, it's probably not going to. He has the look of someone wondering. Or in wonderment. Wonderment as to what is happening to them. And not to be arch, but I keep thinking of this song. Tom Villard would've been about 20 years old when this song was popular. And it was popular, believe it or not. Did he, like so many, find it touching? Or did he think it campy trash. Or both?
Camp, what I love about it, is that it often circles back to being what it intended to be. Like that last scene of Valley of the Dolls. Like, how can what I just watched be redeemed somehow by this no less ridiculous scene that ends the movie?
I can't help but wonder, like Carrie Bradshaw, and myself; what Tom's life was like. When did he realize he was gay? At a very early age did he know it; as so many of us do? Or did he find his same sex attraction developing over time. When did he act on it? Did he try to hide it? Was it always an open secret. Did he try to pass as straight and date girls? How and when did he contract HIV? Was he--and I hate this word: promiscuous (gasp!) (it sounds like criminal terminology)? Let's use the term "get around," instead. Did Tom get around? I mean, a lot of us did. How far around did he get? What was he into? Was he into pursuits that would've put him more at risk; or was he like completely vanilla and just had the bad luck to get the disease? Did he ever make love while "Feelings" was playing on the radio? Who was he making love to? It was 1974. What was he wearing? Or not wearing? What kind of underwear did he have on; or not? I know, I'm weird. But I do think about things like this. So sue me.
When I worked at Paramount Studios in the earlyish 90's, the STAR TREK franchises were going full steam ahead. Star Trek: The Next Generation had been on for about five years or so when I started. Deep Space 9 was in it's second season and I was excited because there was talk that Genevieve Bujold was going to be the lead star of a new addition to the Trek universe, Voyager. And she was, for about five minutes; but I guess that's a whole other story. Needless to say, I never saw her on the lot. As a matter of fact, you almost NEVER saw any of the Star Trek people on the lot. I don't know if they kept them under wraps or if they were just, like, you know, like wicked stuck-up! So conceited!!! I saw Mr. Data wander by once or twice. I saw Patrick Stewart at a private party I was catering at and that was about it. I did, however, see this actor a lot on the backlot, usually in full uniform.
He would be smoking. He was handsome and super slender. Pages weren't supposed to approach the studio "talent,"; which didn't, however, keep me from cruising him. No bites! (And I just read that he describes his sexuality as "not quite straight"! Maybe I should've flirted harder!). That would've been "Dr. Julian Bashir," and/or Alexander Siddig, the actor who played him. He was friendly enough. I mean, friendly enough to at least smile. Pages usually were at the receiving ends of frowns, if not outright hostile glares!
Well, you learn something new every day. He and I are like basically the same age:
Well, you learn something new every day. He and I are like basically the same age:
I'm happy to report he's still with us. I wonder if he's quit smoking. And, he's very close to Tom Villard's birthday, November 19, which makes them both Scorpio. See, as you examine the warp and the woof, the plot thickens! Mr. Siddig was the doctor on Deep Space 9. Deep Space 9 was my go to set for letting my tour groups go explore on their own. They must've been the most laidback branch of the franchise, for whereas getting on the Enterprise bridge set was like getting into Fort Knox; getting onto Terok Nor was nothing more than a matter of ducking through a couple of feet of standing open soundstage main door. And Deep Space 9 was the third to last acting gig that Tom Villard booked before he left us. And it was at that time that our paths crossed. Or my path crossed his.
This will tell you how old I am. Paramount Studios used to have phone booths on the lot. Like, good old-fashioned, full standing phone booths with doors and a little bench to sit on:
This will tell you how old I am. Paramount Studios used to have phone booths on the lot. Like, good old-fashioned, full standing phone booths with doors and a little bench to sit on:
Now, I had been a huge Star Trek fan as a kid. I'm talking before the terms "Trekkie" and/or "Trekker" were even in the Zeither. When you were a kid in the 70's and you liked Science Fiction and liked it on a regular basis, Star Trek was your go to. And you could easlily go to it, a lot! When it hit the airwaves after its original run, it was on at night, it was on during the day several times, it was on in the afternoons, it was on on the weekends. You also had Lost In Space, but even kids, I think, quickly tired of Jonathan Harris' hammy theatrics and over the top caterwauling. I mean, he was clearly having fun; but was anyone else? This is all pre Star Wars, of course. Some of us more cerebral and thought provoked kids had Space: 1999; which was my go to, all time fav. Until it got stupid and then cancelled. And then after Star Wars, Sci-Fi came roaring back, but I thought all of it was terrible. Battlestar Galactica, Blecch Rogers in the 25th Century (don't get me wrong; I did occasionally tune in--that Gil Gerard was HOT in any century!), even a small scale version of Logan's Run. But you could always go back to the dependability of the original Star Trek. Around 1973, they started heavily advertising something called The Star Trek Giant Poster Book Magazine. My older brother and I went in on a subscription (it was one of the very few things we bonded over).
It was actually an excellent periodical. It came folded up, with the articles on one side and...A GIANT POSTER on the other. A really beautiful image of a still from one of the episodes. And in-depth, interesting articles on topics related to the "making of" of the show; which surely made this pop-culture geek's pee-pee tingle! It was money well spent.
But once I'd seen the first couple of Star Wars movies, my thirst for Sci-Fi was waning. My tastes were changing. I was becoming interested in other things. I still loved science fiction. Still do. But by the time I worked at Paramount, the place on planet Earth where this phenomenon that had been so important to me as a child had originated, I kinda couldn't have cared less. And the whole, "we rule the lot, peons; so don't come-a tryin' to sneak into Captain Picard's quarters; 'cuz it ain't-a-happenin'!" attitude of The Next Generation (and egads, how self-seriously did that show take itself. We have seen the future and it's prim and uptight) did nothing to win me back over.
But things that did impress me and make me do double takes were the following (in no particular order):
1. Celebrity sightings.
2. Flirting with said male celebrities (which involved a lot of staring on my part).
3. Attempting to ascertain which said male celebrities might be "not quite straight" (and obviously failing based on my interactions with Mr. Saddig).
4. Exploring movie and TV sets (one comes immediately to mind; it was the interior of a natural history museum and I was in there alone at night and it was scary! I was always wowed by the practical sets; an artform which I fear is disappearing. The movie was 1997's The Relic).
But once I'd seen the first couple of Star Wars movies, my thirst for Sci-Fi was waning. My tastes were changing. I was becoming interested in other things. I still loved science fiction. Still do. But by the time I worked at Paramount, the place on planet Earth where this phenomenon that had been so important to me as a child had originated, I kinda couldn't have cared less. And the whole, "we rule the lot, peons; so don't come-a tryin' to sneak into Captain Picard's quarters; 'cuz it ain't-a-happenin'!" attitude of The Next Generation (and egads, how self-seriously did that show take itself. We have seen the future and it's prim and uptight) did nothing to win me back over.
But things that did impress me and make me do double takes were the following (in no particular order):
1. Celebrity sightings.
2. Flirting with said male celebrities (which involved a lot of staring on my part).
3. Attempting to ascertain which said male celebrities might be "not quite straight" (and obviously failing based on my interactions with Mr. Saddig).
4. Exploring movie and TV sets (one comes immediately to mind; it was the interior of a natural history museum and I was in there alone at night and it was scary! I was always wowed by the practical sets; an artform which I fear is disappearing. The movie was 1997's The Relic).
5. Movie screenings.
6. The Paramount Employee Christmas party and tree lighting.
7. Working sit-coms at other studios.
8. Having a tour group and lucking into something that was actually kind of exciting.
9. Just being on the lot and being paid for it, even if it was peanuts.
10. Seeing anyone in a costume or a star and/or actor that I'd always admired and may have crushed on like--
Tom Villard who happened to be in one of those phone booths one day, in a bright red costume and in his make-up, on the phone, deep in a conversation. I knew it was him, so I slowed down as I walked by. I couldn't make out what he was saying into the receiver, but based on his tone and his facial expressions it seemed kind of serious. I knew he was sick at this point. Like really sick. Everyone did. He'd gone on Entertainment Tonight (which was also a Paramount show) and confessed to millions of viewers that he was gay, that he had AIDS and that he needed help. This was 1994. Nobody did that, even though Rock Hudson had done it. But Rock was a wealthy superstar. In the intervening years, the stigma never went away. So for Tom to do that on national television was nothing short of amazing. Or out of sheer desperation. Probably both. I don't think I saw the actual interview, but it was in the national media. Apparently, when the producers of Deep Space 9 heard about his plight, they offered him the role. I remember him so clearly in that phone booth. I wanted to stop and talk to him. Of course I didn't. Or couldn't. I mean, what would I have said? I know that he was the sort of person I might've been friends with (Scorpio or not); but what? Go up to him and say: "Hi Mr. Villard, I'm a big fan. I'd like for us to be friends and help you during this time of need." At the very least, it would've been presumptuous. It was, however, how I felt. Maybe I should've.
I guess this is going to go into a part 3...
6. The Paramount Employee Christmas party and tree lighting.
7. Working sit-coms at other studios.
8. Having a tour group and lucking into something that was actually kind of exciting.
9. Just being on the lot and being paid for it, even if it was peanuts.
10. Seeing anyone in a costume or a star and/or actor that I'd always admired and may have crushed on like--
Tom Villard who happened to be in one of those phone booths one day, in a bright red costume and in his make-up, on the phone, deep in a conversation. I knew it was him, so I slowed down as I walked by. I couldn't make out what he was saying into the receiver, but based on his tone and his facial expressions it seemed kind of serious. I knew he was sick at this point. Like really sick. Everyone did. He'd gone on Entertainment Tonight (which was also a Paramount show) and confessed to millions of viewers that he was gay, that he had AIDS and that he needed help. This was 1994. Nobody did that, even though Rock Hudson had done it. But Rock was a wealthy superstar. In the intervening years, the stigma never went away. So for Tom to do that on national television was nothing short of amazing. Or out of sheer desperation. Probably both. I don't think I saw the actual interview, but it was in the national media. Apparently, when the producers of Deep Space 9 heard about his plight, they offered him the role. I remember him so clearly in that phone booth. I wanted to stop and talk to him. Of course I didn't. Or couldn't. I mean, what would I have said? I know that he was the sort of person I might've been friends with (Scorpio or not); but what? Go up to him and say: "Hi Mr. Villard, I'm a big fan. I'd like for us to be friends and help you during this time of need." At the very least, it would've been presumptuous. It was, however, how I felt. Maybe I should've.
I guess this is going to go into a part 3...
CFR 12/2/24
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