I'm thinking this is probably his last official headshot. I don't want to interpret it for you. I don't think I have to.
So, on Deep Space 9 he played a character called "Pylar Bek." It was in an episode entitled "The Collaborator." From Season 2, it was Episode #24. I've never seen it and I can't find it online; but here's an analysis of the episode; a deep, deep dive by two fellows who perhaps dive deeper into this than anyone might want. I have no idea about anything they're talking about. But Best Actress Oscar winner Louise Fletcher was in it. And you can see Tom at the 32.50 mark, handing someone a box with a "space snake" in it, or something:
So, on Deep Space 9 he played a character called "Pylar Bek." It was in an episode entitled "The Collaborator." From Season 2, it was Episode #24. I've never seen it and I can't find it online; but here's an analysis of the episode; a deep, deep dive by two fellows who perhaps dive deeper into this than anyone might want. I have no idea about anything they're talking about. But Best Actress Oscar winner Louise Fletcher was in it. And you can see Tom at the 32.50 mark, handing someone a box with a "space snake" in it, or something:
I want to keep this light; but I guess I really can't. But I'll try. Tom did. He kept his sense of humor up until the end, as you can see in this brief article from POZ magazine, It's dated December 1, 1994, a couple of weeks after Tom died.
www.poz.com/article/Tom-Villard-s-Fall-Season-16573-9260
www.poz.com/article/Tom-Villard-s-Fall-Season-16573-9260
Now here's another connection with the other, other Tom. I'm trying to put together a timeline of events, based around the release date of the Deep Space 9 epidose. That originally aired on May 3rd, 1994. According to the POZ article, Tom had gone on ET in February of '94 which led to his getting on DS9. So, my encounter with him must've been sometime, I'm gonna say between March and April of 1994. Which brings us to Tom H. While all this was going on with Tom V.; Tom H. was starring in a movie that was just starting it's release schedule to the world. In December of 1993, a month or so before Tom V. went on ET to basically plead for his professional life, this movie was released:
Tom H. won the most coveted prize in his and Tom V.'s business for this movie: The Best Actor Oscar. It also won for Best Song. 'Memba this?
Huh, Bruce really looks like Ben Affleck there. And he, Tom and the other fellah in the former thumbnail are all still going strong; two of them more than likely will be at this year's ceremony.
I wonder how Tom Villard felt when Philadelphia was released. When it was all over the culture. When he was basically living it. Having to watch a straight actor pretend to have AIDS and then die at the end of the picture. Toward the end, Tom Villard had Kaposi's sarcoma, a lesion right on the tip of his nose. Do you know what that must've done to the psyche of an actor? A profession where your face is your literal fortune? They didn't even do that to Tom Hanks in the movie, if I recall correctly. Which puts me in mind of Star Trek again. Remember the episode of the original series Miri, when they start contracting a disease that causes these big, purple blotches? That episode always freaked me out. I'm sure it freaked out a lot of people. This vid gives you some excellent views of the effects of the disease from the episode and filmic analysis on a par with The Star Trek Giant Poster Book Magazine! (Trying to keep this light!). Let's take a look!
I wonder how Tom Villard felt when Philadelphia was released. When it was all over the culture. When he was basically living it. Having to watch a straight actor pretend to have AIDS and then die at the end of the picture. Toward the end, Tom Villard had Kaposi's sarcoma, a lesion right on the tip of his nose. Do you know what that must've done to the psyche of an actor? A profession where your face is your literal fortune? They didn't even do that to Tom Hanks in the movie, if I recall correctly. Which puts me in mind of Star Trek again. Remember the episode of the original series Miri, when they start contracting a disease that causes these big, purple blotches? That episode always freaked me out. I'm sure it freaked out a lot of people. This vid gives you some excellent views of the effects of the disease from the episode and filmic analysis on a par with The Star Trek Giant Poster Book Magazine! (Trying to keep this light!). Let's take a look!
There was a line in the POZ article that really made my heart sink. And again, at the risk of getting too dark (but how can we not?); I will do a "quote pull" ; for the man did say this:
"...I felt like I could do something by saying that I am not a feces-eating-pederast-sex-crazed somebody who has invoked God's wrath..."
That Mr. Villard had reached a point where he felt that other people felt this way about gay men is profoundly depressing. But I suppose that there are a lot of people out there who do feel that way. And the really shameful part is that a lot of those people worked in the entertainment industry, which used to outright shun and dispose of actors who didn't toe the line and keep things secret. I'm really proud that the company I worked for, Paramount, was the entity that reached out to Tom Villard at that time. Actually acknowledged what was going on. Didn't look the other way...however you want to look at it. Believe it or not, there really was a familial feeling on that lot. I don't know if that was true of other studios; but it was on Melrose and Gower. Not to get all sappy or anything.
But as I said, Tom did manage to keep his sense of humor. I mean, he jokes about his ding-dong in the article (which begs a lot of questions that I'm not sure whether or not they were answered in his sweat pants!)
"...I felt like I could do something by saying that I am not a feces-eating-pederast-sex-crazed somebody who has invoked God's wrath..."
That Mr. Villard had reached a point where he felt that other people felt this way about gay men is profoundly depressing. But I suppose that there are a lot of people out there who do feel that way. And the really shameful part is that a lot of those people worked in the entertainment industry, which used to outright shun and dispose of actors who didn't toe the line and keep things secret. I'm really proud that the company I worked for, Paramount, was the entity that reached out to Tom Villard at that time. Actually acknowledged what was going on. Didn't look the other way...however you want to look at it. Believe it or not, there really was a familial feeling on that lot. I don't know if that was true of other studios; but it was on Melrose and Gower. Not to get all sappy or anything.
But as I said, Tom did manage to keep his sense of humor. I mean, he jokes about his ding-dong in the article (which begs a lot of questions that I'm not sure whether or not they were answered in his sweat pants!)
And by that I mean: did he have a BIG PENIS? In case you wanted me to spell it out for you.
SIDE NOTE: Why are we so fascinated/concerned by/curious of/impressed by/needing to know of/etc. about REALLY BIG PENISES? I mean, they're not terribly aesthetically pleasing and most people can't really "handle" them without a lot of concerted effort. I couldn't help but wonder--
SIDE NOTE: Why are we so fascinated/concerned by/curious of/impressed by/needing to know of/etc. about REALLY BIG PENISES? I mean, they're not terribly aesthetically pleasing and most people can't really "handle" them without a lot of concerted effort. I couldn't help but wonder--
Okay, we've established I'm a little weird. And at the risk of turning this into a "hot frosty" sitch, I'm just gonna wonder...
PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED FOR THE FOLLOWING:
Like, what if I had met Tom Villard at some point? We know I found him attractive. He was twelve years older than me and I've always been attracted to older guys. What if we'd started dating and when we got around to the bedroom (which might have been on night one...or not...) and he had a really large penis and was a "top"? Would it have put the kibosh on things? Would I have tried to accomodate him? Would I have learned to enjoy the experience or would we have gone our separate ways? Would we have found some kind of compromise? And do women ever find themselves in this quandry? I mean, a baby can come out of them. I would think, really, anything of any size could easily go the other way; that is, of course, to say "anything" being within the realm of feasability as to--oh, nevermind; you know what I mean.
WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING:
I'm sure the amiably humored Mr. Villard would be charmed by my unorthodox thoughts! Yeah, let's go with that.
Now, I've been mentioning Mr. Tom Hanks throughout this. He of course starred in the most famous movie ever made about a man dying of AIDS. Weknowdis. And in comparing his role in that to Mr. Villard's life (and death) experience, I'm in no way am disparaging him. Perhaps Tom H. and the movie Philadelphia helped to give Tom Villard some measure of hope. That it actually got made by the Hollywood establishment. Maybe it was that film that gave him the courage to lay it all out there and go on NATIONAL TELEVISION and tell his story. Maybe that chain events saved a lot of lives. I'm sure it did. I've compared Mr. Hanks to the saints before; why should I stop now? Speaking of saints. How about Saint Genesius, the Patron Saint of Actors?
PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED FOR THE FOLLOWING:
Like, what if I had met Tom Villard at some point? We know I found him attractive. He was twelve years older than me and I've always been attracted to older guys. What if we'd started dating and when we got around to the bedroom (which might have been on night one...or not...) and he had a really large penis and was a "top"? Would it have put the kibosh on things? Would I have tried to accomodate him? Would I have learned to enjoy the experience or would we have gone our separate ways? Would we have found some kind of compromise? And do women ever find themselves in this quandry? I mean, a baby can come out of them. I would think, really, anything of any size could easily go the other way; that is, of course, to say "anything" being within the realm of feasability as to--oh, nevermind; you know what I mean.
WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING:
I'm sure the amiably humored Mr. Villard would be charmed by my unorthodox thoughts! Yeah, let's go with that.
Now, I've been mentioning Mr. Tom Hanks throughout this. He of course starred in the most famous movie ever made about a man dying of AIDS. Weknowdis. And in comparing his role in that to Mr. Villard's life (and death) experience, I'm in no way am disparaging him. Perhaps Tom H. and the movie Philadelphia helped to give Tom Villard some measure of hope. That it actually got made by the Hollywood establishment. Maybe it was that film that gave him the courage to lay it all out there and go on NATIONAL TELEVISION and tell his story. Maybe that chain events saved a lot of lives. I'm sure it did. I've compared Mr. Hanks to the saints before; why should I stop now? Speaking of saints. How about Saint Genesius, the Patron Saint of Actors?
Genisius is usually depicted as having a crop of luxuriant curls. That version on the far right (uncondoned A-I) might've used Tom Villard as a model. You can't make this stuff up. Now, as to the actual Saint Thomas? There were several. St. Thomas of Aquinas, St. Thomas More and Saint Thomas the Apostle. More and Aquinas were more recent Saints. But Thomas the Apostle is one of the O.G. Saints. You may know him better as "Doubting Thomas." He was the Apostle who didn't believe it was Christ at some point and needed proof:
He is most often presented in scarlet robes:
Which, I don't know about you; but kinda puts me in mind of this:
He is often seen holding a spear, which was the source of his death and martyrdom. Which, I don't know about you; but kinda puts me in mind of this:
I am super interested in things like symbols, and portents and totems and so on and so forth; and the more I explore Tom Villard's story, I start seeing them. A lot. It's as though every thread I find opens some portal into something else that to me, seems like it has meaning. For example, when I first started writing this, I happend to look out my window and there was a White-breasted nuthatch in the tree:
The nuthatch can walk up a tree to the top and just as easily upside down to the bottom. Symbolically, this can be seen as being in touch with the grounded world and the heavens and an ability to move between the two with ease. I mentioned earlier that in the DS9 episode that Tom was in, he gives someone a box with a snake in it. This made me think of the Chinese zodiac, you know the one; the one you often see on placemats in Chinese restaurants? Well, I happen to be the Year of the Snake, having been born in 1965. Guess who else is a Snake, being born in 1953? Bingo!
Which would also include Mr. Saddig.
So, then, my husband was working on the Christmas tree and he dangled an ornament in my face (that's what she said!). He laughed. "Kerry McCluggage gave the nicest balls!" Kerry McCluggage, if you didn't know, was Paramount's head of TV back in the day. He had a huge hand in all the Star Trek shows from the period I've been writing about. I remember seeing him around the lot quite a bit; you couldn't miss his bright silver hair and as I said, I was kinda HOT for executive DILFS. They weren't necessarily hot for me. He was always rushing by with a briefcase, like Ward Cleaver or something; eyes on the prize.
So, then, my husband was working on the Christmas tree and he dangled an ornament in my face (that's what she said!). He laughed. "Kerry McCluggage gave the nicest balls!" Kerry McCluggage, if you didn't know, was Paramount's head of TV back in the day. He had a huge hand in all the Star Trek shows from the period I've been writing about. I remember seeing him around the lot quite a bit; you couldn't miss his bright silver hair and as I said, I was kinda HOT for executive DILFS. They weren't necessarily hot for me. He was always rushing by with a briefcase, like Ward Cleaver or something; eyes on the prize.
Mr. McCluggage, third from left.
Anyways, long story short: he banked where my husband worked and the glass ornament was a gift. It's real classy (he went to Harvard, you know). But here's the thing. The image on the ornament is that of a pear:
Anyways, long story short: he banked where my husband worked and the glass ornament was a gift. It's real classy (he went to Harvard, you know). But here's the thing. The image on the ornament is that of a pear:
Among their many symbolic meanings, there is this:
Kerry is 70 now. Just turned it. A Sagittarius. Tom Villard would've just turned 71. 1971 is the year Edie Sedgwick passed away; and I've been writing about her a lot. So, you see, this could go on and on.
And on and on.
But I'm going to leave it here. How about we light a candle to Tom Villard? How about three candles, with the help of three other Hollywood Toms? Sounds like a plan...
And on and on.
But I'm going to leave it here. How about we light a candle to Tom Villard? How about three candles, with the help of three other Hollywood Toms? Sounds like a plan...
I'm going to do a portrait of Tom Villard as a Saint. When I'm done, I'll post it in another blog. Just my way of thanking him for having been part of my life, in whatever small way it was; even if that was four feet away in a phone booth, dressed as someone from another planet.
This song keeps coming into my head and I think it's appropriate for the occasion.
Take it away Miss Morissette...
This song keeps coming into my head and I think it's appropriate for the occasion.
Take it away Miss Morissette...
CFR 12/4/24
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