Travelling Fellows

I hate flying.  And the older I get, the more I hate it.  You think it would be the reverse; you know, like, an acclimation to it over the years?  Nope.  I'll take the train, thank you very much, even though it has its very own set of possible negative outcomes, several of which I've experienced on some recent train excursions.  Flooded tracks?  Sure!  Stalled in the middle of nowhere 'til well past dawn?  You bet!  But that's for another time.  Another blog, perhaps.  I do, however, love airports!  It's really a great way to tap into the Zeitgeist.  I mean, you get it ALL.  The state of the WORLD from the comfort of a food-court Burger King that wants...wait...hold for it...get this...$15.99 for a "meal."  That's a sandwich, fries and a drink.  For $15.99.  I mean, I know food at places like airports is automatically more expensive.  Usually about twice what you'd pay regurlarly.  But this is just flat out price gouging,  Hold the pickle, add the LETTUCE; Special Orders won't be gratis; all we ask is that you let us GOUGE YOU TODAY!  Fuck off Burger KIng.  You can go Flame-broil your own ass.
On a happier note...
I recently flew to Phoenix (on a plane; two, in fact).  Why Phoenix*?  Why would you go to Phoenix, home of Maricopa County, the Lovely and Talented Kari Lake and Jacob Chansley, the QAnon Shaman?  And can we talk about his "look." It includes nipple-centric tattoos.  The far right is okay with nipple-centric tattoos?  Okay, whatevs...  So, I had a friend on the first wing of the plane ride.  

Yeah, so I'm sitting there, buckled in and psyching myself for takeoff when suddenly a grasshopper, from out of nowhere (although Joseph had spotted him first) landed on my forearm.  He was small for a grasshopper.  A baby perhaps?  Do grasshoppers start out as little grasshoppers?  I don't know; but he was neon green, which is one of my favorite colors.  So then he jumped from my arm to the wall of the plane, right below the window.  And he sat there, doing whatever it is that grasshoppers do when they're just sitting there.  It wasn't a long flight; but I felt it quite comforting having him there. A sort of emotional support grasshopper.  Or was he a cricket?  Do crickets come in any color other than brown?  I couldn't help but think of Jiminy Cricket.  Was this cricket trying to tell me something?  Was he trying to assure me that I would arrive safely at my next destination?  At least he wasn't browbeating me like that fucking Disney cricket.  I mean, doesn't Pinocchio kill him in the original?  Yes, he does.  With a hammer.  This is a kid's story?

Pinocchio, gettin' real!

​Cripes, I think I might've tried some OFF! first.  I mean Crickicide?  Damn Pinoke.  But then, your tale is a freaky one.  And please explain to me Pinoke; or Jiminy Cricket's ghost (yes, I think he comes back as a ghost. Actually, I've never read the original; and I have no plans. Immediate ones, anyways) why they KEEP MAKING MOVIE VERSIONS OF PINOCCHIO.  Why?  It's a horrible story.  It's fundamentally creepy.  An old man making a boy out of wood that he wants to be real?  And sleeps in the same bed with?

I'm not going to touch that one with a ten foot nose!
How about a random selection of images from various and sundry iterations of Pinocchio?  Really Chris?  Sure, what the hey!

And now they've made and remade it to the point where we're getting (or gotten) a splatter/horror version.  Which, if you ask me is redundant.  The property was always pure horror.

But let's move on.  This started out so nice...
Back to my grasshopper friend!
What did he mean?
What was he trying to say?
What message did he have from our friend the Universe?

Symbolically, the grasshopper traditionally represents good luck.  And leaping forward and change and all kinds of good things. Good fortunes.  Communication.  I'll take it!  Same goes for the cricket.  And I'm happy to report the three dragonflies have returned to my driveway for a visit!  Hopefully they'll come back again and I can get a photo-op.  I'll post pics if I do.
But back to the airport.  Yes, the airport is a true microcosm of the state of the world at large.  I mean, it's crowded with people of all different races (the airport/world, that is). It's crazy and hectic.  The prices are inflated.  You can see all the news that's fit to print at all the news stores.  You can see the latest fashion trends on the travellers and in the shop windows.  Who knew Spanx made dresses?

I would totally wear that if I was a woman!  It reminds me of something Edith Head might've designed for Tippi Hedren during the Hitchcock years.  And Edith Head gave good garment!

Yes, airports are a great place to go to see the world.  And you don't even have to get on a plane.  
So, when we landed in Charlotte, I didn't want to leave my new little friend on the aircraft.  I figured, he'd only get swatted or ixnayed by the cleaning crew and I felt as though I couldn't just leave him; as he'd done his best to comfort me through my extraterrestrial time of need.  But what to do?  I had bags to carry and aisles to scamper down.  How was I going to manage a capricious grasshopper?  I looked about for something to carry him in and then, voila!  The air sickness bag!

I opened the bag, gave him a nudge, in he went and we were good to go! 
But what then?  I thought I might perhaps release him when exiting the plane, via the gap in the skybridge; but after consulting with my avionically minded hubs, we both thought that might look "suspicious."  So, the next best thing was releasing him on to a tree inside the terminal. Which is what we did.  I don't know what kind of tree it was; but it was real.  So that's where we left him.

He's out of focus and that makes him look a lot bigger than he actually was.  I don't know how long they live, but hopefully he'll live out his days happily in that tree.  And there's always a bar right across the way.  Maybe he'll start his own afterhours club!
So, happy travels to us all!  And I think the lesson here is:
Never take a garrulous grasshopper for granted or Grounded Grasshoppers Give Godsent Gratitude!
Bon Voyages, mes amis!

​CFR   6/6/24