Christopher F Reidy
Christopher Reidy
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The thoughts & Musings of Christopher F. Reidy*

NOTE: Apparently this webpage has some glitches. It tends to randomly switch out visual material.  Why?  Don't ask me.  So, if a pic doesn't match the text...it doesn't!  Rest assured I am trying to amend this problem.  When I get around to it.

*(may contain misuse of apostrophes, miss spellings, overabundance of semi-colons,  wrong word usage, etc.
Please pardon our appearance while we create a new blog experience for you!)

​ALSO: 
Please find a complete index of blog posts on the homepage, for your convenience!

AND YET ANOTHER NOTE:
The visual switcheroos on these blogs have reached a point where there's no way I can correct them all, so I'm just going to leave them be.  If they don't match the text, just think of them as whimsical funsies decorating the text.  I will continue to supply pictures; but I cannot guarantee their context: much like my mind.
Thank you for your patience!

A FURTHER NOTE:
I try to keep this website relatively free of anything truly morally reprehensible or obscene.  However, in the pursuit of honesty; I will be quite frank about sexuality; as I feel one should be.  To  wit: this website is not for children.  It is decidedly "adult"; although not necessarily not "childish."  I do not feel it is suitable, in some instances, for anyone below the age of 17.  Or maybe a very mature 16...or 15 even.  
THIS WEBSITE IS RATED: PG-15

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HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay / Part 10

5/25/2023

0 Comments

 
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Now, as I can't gauge how long this screenplay is thus far, since I'm not typing it in traditional format; I have to guesstimate.  I may be overwriting a wee bit.  But, I've become so enamored of these characters, I keep finding new things for them to do, apart from the main action.  Like the O'Riadas going to visit their dad.  That isn't really germane to the goings-on.  But, I feel it's better to have an overabundance of material than it is to have too little.  You can always cut.  But for now, it's going to play out the way it plays out and if that's a little long, then that's the way it is (that's what she said!).  Besides, nowadays movies are looooooooonnnnnnnggggggggg.  I mean, how could John Wick 4 possibly run for nearly 3 hours?  It's nothing but people fighting and shooting guns... 
Maybe we could split it into two movies, kind of like, you know, Twilight Part 4 Parts 1 and 2.  Or maybe it could be like a streaming "limited series"?  Lots of possibilities.  So now...on with the show!

FADE UP:
INT. SHANNON AIRPORT BAR -DAY
Donna and Stacey are seated at the bar, having cocktails.  Donna's phone is propped up on the counter, on speaker.
DONNA
...yeah, so Gran is gonna be visiting with her cousins for a couple of days before she comes to London...
HENRY
(O/S his voice on phone) Where?  And with which cousins?
DONNA
I have no idea.  She just said "my cousins out in the country."
DANNY
(O/S) Did she mention Cork?
STACEY
Yeah, actually she did...
DANNY
(O/S) Oh, then it must be Claire and Charlie and all of them.
DONNA
So, we'll see you tomorrow, I guess...
HENRY
We'd pick you up; but we don't have a car yet.
DONNA
No, that's all arranged.  The hotel has a shuttle.
HENRY
All right.  Safe travels!
DONNA
Bye!
She clicks the phone off.
DONNA
I'm so excited!
STACEY
Are you though? (She sips her drink).
DONNA
What's that supposed to mean?
STACEY
Donna...I don't think I've ever seen you quite so...lit up, as when you were talking to Claude.
DONNA
Claudio.  And that's not--
STACEY
Speak of the devil...
Claudio strides up to the bar and smiles.
CLAUDIO
So, we meet again.
STACEY
So we do.  I don't think we've been introduced...(she extends her hand).
DONNA
Claudio, this is my good friend Stacey.
CLAUDIO
Enchante...(he kisses the back of her hand).
STACEY
Oh, you speak French too.  How convenient.
Picture
DONNA
Why are you still here?  I thought you mentioned--
CLAUDIO
Last minute change of plans.  I'm heading on to London...which is where you're going, si?
STACEY
Oui.
CLAUDIO
Where are you staying?
DONNA
The Belgrave Hotel...
CLAUDIO
Ammazza!  That's where I'm staying!
STACEY
(Glancing at Donna) How convenient.
CLAUDIO
Pardon me, I'll be right back.  Did you see where the water closets are?
DONNA
They're back there to the right.
Claudio rushes off.  Donna looks at the ceiling.
STACEY
"Water closet..."
DONNA
What?
STACEY
He's calling the Belgrave...
DONNA
No he's not.
STACEY
I can see him.  He's got his phone to his ear!
DONNA
It's a coincidence.
STACEY
Whatever...
DONNA
It is!
STACEY
Que sera, sera...
Donna drains her glass and plays with her hair.  Stacey stares at her.
DONNA
What...?!?
CUT TO:
INT. HENRY AND DANNY'S APT. -DAY
The apartment now has some furniture in it: a couch.  A TV.  A table and chairs, etc.  Henry is cleaning one of the windows while Danny is working at the computer.
HENRY
God, this thing is so grimy...and that's just on this side.
DANNY
Once curtains go up, you'll never know the difference.
HENRY
(Singing)...I can't see clearly now, the grime's still here...I can see all the bird poop stuck to the glass...(Speaking)  Do you think I should tell Donna right now?  I mean, get it over with?  Rip the bandage off?
DANNY
No, I think that would be a huge mistake.  Test the waters...and stop stressing out about it.
HENRY
I can't though.  I can't stop thinking about it.  And I can't stop thinking about--
There is a loud BUZZ on the intercom.
HENRY
That must be them...
Danny goes to the intercom and presses the switch.
DANNY
Hullo!
DONNA
(O/S) It's us!
DANNY
Come on up...it's on the second floor...
He BUZZES them in and opens the door.  We can hear the ladies CLOMPING up the steps.  Henry puts his cleaning supplies on the kitchen counter and Donna and Stacey come through the door.  
DONNA
Hi!  Oh my God Henry!  You've lost weight!
She runs to him, throws her arms around him and they kiss.
STACEY
Hey Danny...
DANNY
Hi Stacey, how are you?
STACEY
Never better.  Hi Hank.
HENRY
Hey Stacey.
STACEY
(Looking around)  This place is really cute.  Does the fireplace work?
DANNY
I think so.
DONNA
Give us the tour!
HENRY
It's a pretty short tour honey.  Have you eaten?
DONNA
Not yet and I'm starving.  I know!  Maybe we could have tea and crumpets.  I've always wanted to try tea and crumpets!
DANNY
Well, actually, it's nearly tea time...
STACEY
What is a crumpet, anyways?
DANNY
It's kind of like an English muffin--
STACEY
When in Rome!
CUT TO:
EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE -DAY
The foursome are sipping tea.  A waiter comes to the table with a plate of crumpets and an assortment of toppings.
Stacey picks one up and starts slathering it with butter.
DANNY
So much butter!
STACEY
Hey, I'm on vacation.  I'll dance this off later, baby.
Donna picks up a scone and nibbles on it.
DONNA
Hmmm...not what I was expecting...it's kind of on the dry side...
STACEY
That's what the butter's for!
DANNY
That's a scone Donna--
DONNA
Oh! (She LAUGHS).
HENRY
Donna, there's something I need to tell you--
Danny kicks Henry's leg under the table.
DONNA
What?
HENRY
...it's just really great to see you...
DONNA
Awww, it's really great to see you too!
Danny shoots Henry a look as he sips his tea.
CUT TO:
EXT.  THE LONDON EYE -DUSK
Our quartet, along with numerous other TOURISTS, are gazing at the London skyline from inside one of the London Eye pods, high above the city.  The sun is sinking and the city lights begin to twinkle.  Big Ben lights up.
DONNA
Can you go inside Big Ben?
DANNY
I believe you can--
DONNA
I'd love to do that!  Would you like to do that Stacey?
STACEY
Like, go inside the clock?
DONNA
Yeah!
STACEY
I suppose.  It could be something to tell the grandkids...
HENRY
How many do you have now Stacey?
STACEY
You're such a riot Hank.
DONNA
You know, I was thinking about this...maybe you two should get together...
DANNY
You mean me and Stacey?
Danny and Stacey both LAUGH heartily.
DONNA
Why is that funny?  I think you'd make a cute couple.
STACEY
A cute couple of idiots!
DONNA
What do you think Henry?
HENRY
What?
DONNA
What do you think of Danny and Stacey as a couple?
HENRY
"Scorched earth" comes to mind.
DONNA
No! They always say "opposites attract"; but I'm not sure...sometimes I think it's...the opposite!
As the others consider this, there is more than a little nervous LAUGHTER.
Picture
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET -NIGHT
A taxi pulls up in front of the Belgrave Hotel.  Donna and Stacey emerge from the vehicle.  Danny pulls the door closed and opens the window.
STACEY
You want to come in for a drink?
DANNY
I've got to get this boy to bed...he's still in training!
DONNA
All right then, we'll see you tomorrow.
Before they can reply, the taxi speeds off.
STACEY
That wasn't exactly the hard sell...
DONNA
Would you stop?
STACEY
I want that drink though.
CUT TO:
INT. BELGRAVE BAR -NIGHT
Stacey and Donna enter the bar where Claudio is sitting at a table with a drink.  He stands and waves them over.
STACEY
Fancy meeting you here.
CLAUDIO
Buonasera!  You must join us...
DONNA
(As they sit) Who's us?
Before he can answer, Seamus comes out of the shadows and looms over the table.  He looks down at Stacey, cocks his head and smiles.
STACEY
Well hello Red...
CUT TO:
​INT. BELGRAVE BAR -NIGHT
The atmosphere has become more intimate.  The four people seem very relaxed, whether that's from the libations or the company, remains to be seen.  There is certainly a lot of flirting going on.
STACEY
...you name it, I've tried it.  Intermittent fasting, cleansing, coffee "flushing"; but the one thing I swear by is wheat grass juice.
Seamus nods.  Claudio winces.
CLAUDIO
Maybe if you put a shot of Limoncello in it...
SEAMUS
Miss Stacey...I'd like you to do something for me...
STACEY
Mr. Seamus, we've just met!
CLAUDIO
Don't worry.  He just wants to read your aura.  It's uncanny.
STACEY
Sure.  What the hell!
Seamus takes her hand.
SEAMUS
I want you to look into my eyes, but you can't break contact.
STACEY
I'm really good at this.
Like he did with Henry, he locks eyes with her.  Her gaze is perhaps even steelier than Henry's was.
SEAMUS
(Talk singing)...Nine o'clock this morning, she left without a warning...I let her take advantage of me...'cuz she's heart and soul...she's hot and cold...she's got it all...
DONNA
That's like her favorite band!
CLAUDIO
Who is that?
DONNA
Huey Lewis!
STACEY
​And the News...wow...(Seamus smiles.  Stacey slowly retrieves her hand)  Is it hot in here?
CUT TO:
INT. -HENRY'S BEDROOM -DAWN
Henry is lying in bed, the sheets twisted, staring at the ceiling.  We can hear the CITY SOUNDS coming through the window: increasing traffic, birds, etc.  Henry is thinking/waking/dreaming about Paddy; which we see in quick flashbacks:
Paddy's face in the dimly lit gym, water running down the window, reflecting on his face...
HENRY
Your eyes change color...
Henry's hand sliding up Paddy's leg...Paddy's face resting on Henry's torso...
Henry sits upright and runs his hands through his hair.
HENRY
I can't do this...
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN -MORNING
Danny comes into the kitchen and goes to the fridge.  Henry comes out of his room in shorts and a hoodie.
DANNY
Morning...
HENRY
Hi.  Have you seen my running shoes anywhere?
DANNY
I thought I saw them under the chair...you look like road-kill...
HENRY
Didn't sleep well...(He goes to the living room, finds his shoes and pulls them on).
DANNY
You want some toast?
HENRY
When I get back.  (He kisses Danny on the cheek).
DANNY
(Wiping it off) Bleccch!  What did you do with my bother?
Henry LAUGHS and he's out the door.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET -DAY
Henry jogs up to the front door of the Belgrave hotel and goes in.
CUT TO:
INT. BELGRAVE LOBBY -DAY
Henry goes to the elevator and rings for it.  It arrives and he enters.
CUT TO:
INT. ELEVATOR -DAY
He hits the button for the fourth floor but the panel does not respond. He exits and goes for the stairs.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR -DAY
Henry looks at his hand where he's scrawled the number "415."  He looks at the door numbers: he's at 401.  As he walks down the corridor, in the distance he sees a very tall and bald man come out of one of the rooms.  He realizes it's Claudio and pulls his hood up.  As they pass in the hall, Henry hangs his head.
HENRY
Morning, guvner...
CLAUDIO
Ciao!
Henry slows his pace and watches to see Claudio as he gets on the elevator.  He arrives at the door that Claudio has just exited.  It's number: 415.  He KNOCKS.  The door flies open.  Donna is standing there with a pair of argyle socks in her hand.
DONNA
Hai dimenticato i calzini!
​(You forgot your socks!)
Picture
Henry pulls his hood off.  Donna's face falls.
HENRY
Buongiorno...
DONNA
Oh merda...
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM -DAY
Donna is pacing back and forth in her bathrobe, crying.  Or is she just turning on the waterworks?  Or does she know what's coming can't be avoided and she's upset?  Or maybe a little bit of all of them?
DONNA
...you know him?  YOU KNOW HIM?  Why didn't you tell me?!!?
HENRY
That doesn't even make any sense.  Even if I had told you about him, you still wouldn't have known who he was...
​Donna rather melodramatically throws herself on the bed and starts sobbing into a pillow.
HENRY
Donna, please...stop crying and just talk to me...I'm not mad...
DONNA
Well I am!
HENRY
Why are you mad?
DONNA
Because you're NOT!
HENRY
Oh, okay...
DONNA
(Realizing he's not buying it)  Nothing happened, Henry.  We just talked.  I swear to God we just talked...
HENRY
But he was comfortable enough to take his socks off?
DONNA
He's European...
HENRY
Because that's what Europeans do...particularly the Swiss.
DONNA
How do you know he's Swiss?
HENRY
I trained with him for three months!  Just for the record; I like him.  A lot.  He's a great guy...at least I thought he was...
DONNA
What do you mean?
HENRY
That he would go after a woman clearly wearing an engagement ring.
DONNA
(Sheepishly) Well, I wasn't exactly wearing it...
She pulls the ring out of her cleavage where it dangles from a necklace.  Henry SIGHS and looks at the floor.
HENRY
I think it's time for some real honesty here...Donna, I kissed someone.
DONNA
You kissed someone?
HENRY
Yes...several times...
DONNA
(Drily, analytically)
Anyone I know?
HENRY
Not well...but you met them...on the phone...
DONNA
No...I mean, if you mean facetime...I only talked to you and Danny.  (Henry looks at her)...and your coworker, that Irish guy...
Henry looks at her, pleadingly.  A tear rolls down his cheek.  She realizes the import of what she's just heard.
DONNA
Oh...oh wow.  I need a minute...
She jumps up and runs into the bathroom.  Henry goes to the window and looks out at the street.
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM -DAY
Donna regards herself in the mirror as she cries, her tears now genuine.  Her eyes fall on the ring around her neck.  She takes it off, splashes some cold water on her face and composes herself.
CUT TO:
INT. HOTEL ROOM -DAY
Donna comes out of the bathroom with the ring on the necklace.  She goes to the window and looks into Henry's face.
DONNA
I lied.  We did kiss...
She presses the ring into his palm.
HENRY
Are you sure?
DONNA
Yes.  Henry, I think I've always known...
HENRY
How?
DONNA
Well, the fact that you had zero problems with me dancing buck naked in front of other men.
She takes his face in her hands and tenderly kisses him.  He nods at her, turns, and leaves the room.  She continues to gaze out the window at the London Bridge.
Picture
Please see HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay / Part 11 for the the next installment!
CFR  6/4/23 
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HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay PT. 9

5/18/2023

0 Comments

 
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FADE UP:
We hear the HORN of a ferry boat as we see the view from the bow.  Sean O'Riada comes into frame and stands on the rail.  The wind whips through his hair.
SEAN
I'm the king of the world!
Paddy is leaning against the railing nearby, holding a cigarette.
PADDY
Jack!
SEAN
I'm the king of the world Rose!
PADDY
Jack!
SEAN
Rose!  My heart will go on Rose!  Woooo-hooooo!
PADDY
Jack!  Jack!
SEAN
Rose!
PADDY
Get the fook down Jack!
Sean LAUGHS, clambers down and stands next to his brother.
SEAN
I'm freezing me cobblers off out here.  Are you gonna smoke that or what?
Paddy considers, removes a cigarette case from his pocket and puts it back.
SEAN
A gold star for Mr. O'Riada.
CUT TO:
INT. FERRY RESTAURANT -DAY
Paddy and Sean are seated next to a window, Sean with a pint and Paddy with a sparkling water.
SEAN
This is really quite swank.  Who knew a ferry boat would be so twee?  Oh, I know! 'Cuz it's a "fairy" boat.
PADDY
Your maturity never fails to astound.
SEAN
Tell me again why you passed up an offer to stay in a villa on the Cote d'Azur and go to Dingle instead...
PADDY
I wanted to see dad.
SEAN
We just saw him on his birthday.
PADDY
I had this funny feeling...so's I want to see him.  That's all.
SEAN
You've been getting a lot of funny feelings lately.
PADDY
Is that a statement; or a question?
SEAN
You tell me.
PADDY
Next question.
SEAN
So, Roddy wants to pair you up with Hank Notlad.  Says he thinks you two could be the "super-stars" of Lani-Batali.
PADDY
I don't want to talk business Sean.
SEAN
No...it seems to me you don't want to talk about Henry Notlad.  (Paddy doesn't answer).  What's your problem with him?
PADDY
Drop it Sean.
SEAN
No, really, I mean...what is it?
PADDY
I guarantee you, you will not like the answer.
SEAN
I mean does he have B.O.?  Does he fart?  He has really nice teeth.  And I think he smells Obie Trice.  Good at darts. So, you see I just don't get--
PADDY
I'm telling you to let it go.
SEAN
But I can't, because this is a business, brother.  Roddy Shannon is signing my paycheck too.  I mean what is it?  Why don't you like him?
PADDY
I'm in love with him.
Picture
Okay, Paddy has just confessed something to his brother that he's been hiding for his entire life.  And he's emotional.  It seems to me that he would start crying.  Being a macho tough guy he's probably held back from crying most of his life, as most men do.  I've had men crying a lot lately in my writing.  In this story, I guess, thus far we've had Roddy cry; but his son was almost killed...wait a minute...am I defending men's refusal to cry?  I guess I am.  Nobody likes a cry-baby.  There was this actor on General Hospital who was an excellent actor and he often broke down in tears.  It happened so often, however, that it became somewhat annoying: "Oh, there he goes again!"  He played neurosurgeon Dr. Patrick Drake.  His name is Jason Thompson.He's Canadian.  I think he's a hockey player.  Let's watch him emote:  Wait a sec.  I can't find any clips of him getting all dramatic; but I did find this, which is interesting, as I want the first sex scene between Paddy and Henry to be in the back seat of a car (more on that later...)
He sings too!
So, I guess if a hockey playing, heterosexual he-man can cry at the drop of a hat, our kick-boxing-sky-fighting hero can too.  And I suppose later, we'll have Paddy and Henry cry together.
SEAN
You're what now?
PADDY
...I'm in love...(he starts quietly sobbing, but he can't stop it)...and he's affianced and I don't...I don't want to hurt him. And I won't be a homewrecker, like Ma...
Sean gets up and sits on the banquette next to Paddy and puts his arm around him.
SEAN
It's all right Paddy.
PADDY
People are looking...
SEAN
Let 'em look.  Paddy, I love you no matter what.  But I'm a little confused...
PADDY
(Calming down) About what?
SEAN
Kate Sullivan.
PADDY
Who?
Before Sean can respond, a LADY and her nine-year-old SON approach the table.
LADY
Would it trouble Mr. O'Riada to sign an autograph for my son, here?
SEAN
Not a good time 'mam--
PADDY
No, it's fine...
LADY
Do you have a pen?
PADDY
Sean, do you have a pen?
SEAN
(Clearly annoyed) Sure and I do...
He gets a pen out of his jacket pocket and hands it to Paddy as the lady hands him a cocktail napkin.
PADDY
What's your name son?
BOY
Ryan.
PADDY
Right-o, lad! 
As he begins to write, Ryan looks at Paddy's face with a look of concern.
RYAN
Why are you crying Paddy?
SEAN
(Fed up) They're tears of joy.  We're going to have a baby!
LADY
(Nonplussed) Come on Ryan, let's leave the nice fellahs be--
RYAN
Congratulations Paddy!
Paddy hands Ryan the napkin as his mother literally yanks him away.
PADDY
Now you didn't need to do that...
There's a pause and they they both break out in LAUGHTER.  After it diminishes, Paddy lets out a great exhale.
PADDY
Well, I suppose I got that off my chest.  Should I tell Da?
SEAN
Paddy, one bombshell at a time, yeah?
Paddy grabs Sean and hugs him for dear life.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET IN DINGLE -DAY
Paddy's car pulls into a parking space in front of a bright green building.  Lettering on the facade spells out: O'RIADA'S - CHEMISTS.  Paddy and Sean get out of the car and enter the pharmacy.
CUT TO:
INT. PHARMACY -DAY
A bell JINGLES and a red-headed woman in a white lab-coat looks up from where she's arranging greeting cards.  She does a double-take when she realizes who's just walked in.  Her name is MAUREEN LONERGAN, mid 60's.
MAUREEN
Jesus, Mary and Saint Joseph!  It's a double-dose of original sin!
She runs to the two men and hugs and kisses them both.
PADDY
Hello Maureen!
SEAN
​You're looking grand!
MAUREEN
Oh, no, my hair's in a state!  What brings you by?
PADDY
We've come for a wee visit.  Is Da here?
MAUREEN
He left a little early...does he know you're here?
PADDY
No...we wanted to surprise him.
SEAN
We did?
MAUREEN
He probably popped by Murphy's pub; there's a game of some note on the television.
PADDY
We'll stop by.  Always good to see you Maureen!
MAUREEN
Likewise.  You know, I never married but I always looked on you two as me own sons.
PADDY
That's probably why you never married!
MAUREEN
Men!  Who needs 'em.  Nothing but trouble.
SEAN
Say, Maureen, do you have any condoms? (He pronounces it "con-domes").
MAUREEN
This is a pharmacy Sean; what do you tink? And just what are you planning for this "wee visit"?
SEAN
They're for Paddy and I know he'd be too shy to ask--
An elbow in the ribs from Paddy cuts him off.
PADDY
Sean is such a kidder!
MAUREEN
Oh, don't I know it!  Always up to some mischief.  You should've gone to clown college boy-o!
(She LAUGHS)  "Con-domes"!
Paddy shoots daggers at Sean.  Sean CHUCKLES nervously. 
Picture
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET -DAY
Sean and Paddy are walking down the sidewalk.
PADDY
...Are you off your nut?  Condoms!  Why the hell do you think I'd want those for?
SEAN
If you're going to play that way, you're going to play safe!
PADDY
I'm a fighter ya eejit!  I get tested regularly.  
SEAN
Oh, roight.  I forgot.  Say, do you think Maureen's gay too?
PADDY
What the hell are you talking about?
SEAN
She's never been married...
PADDY
​Of course she isn't!  She's an ex nun!
He looks at Sean, who raises his eyebrows.  Paddy considers this; but says nothing, as they've arrived at the pub.  Paddy pulls the door open and pushes Sean through.
​CUT TO:
INT. PUB -DAY
Several men are seated at the bar, watching a soccer game on a large screen TV.
PADDY
There he is...
​Paddy puts his finger to his lips and they move towards the bar.  They come up behind one of the men and Paddy puts his finger to his back.
PADDY
(Disguising his voice) Your money or your life...
The man puts his hands up.  He is BRIAN O'RIADA, 60'S.  He is a reserved and quiet man, bordering on shy.  However, he's not averse to singing a song or two if he's had a couple of drinks.  Or three or four.
BRIAN
My wife?  You're out of luck there sir...
Paddy and Sean lean in and kiss their dad's cheek on either side.
The role of Mr. O'Riada would make a nice cameo for a famous actor; and although he's British, I'm sure Gary Oldman could do a killer brogue, 'cuz, he can do anything.
Picture
BRIAN
Oh Lord!  If it isn't the hallions of my loins!
SEAN
Geez dad, that doesn't sound right!
PADDY
Yeah, let's not talk about your loins Da...
BRIAN
Well, what on Earth has brought you two to County Kerry unannounced?
PADDY
We just wanted to see you...
BRIAN
Now you've seen me.  What then?
PADDY
We could stay a while with you at the house; that is, if we wouldn't be imposing on you.
BRIAN
Imposing?
SEAN
We could stay here...(to BARTENDER) Are there any rooms available?
BRIAN
Are you daft?  You're not staying here--
PADDY
But what if you have a lady friend over?
BRIAN
I'll worry about my own love life. (To the other MEN) Would you fellahs mind scooting down?
Seats are vacated on either side of Brian and Sean and Paddy take them.
BRIAN
Well this calls for a toast.  Mr. Murphy, three shots of your finest whiskey.
PADDY
Just the one now Da...
BRIAN
Just the one!
MURPHY the bartender puts three glasses of whiskey in front of them.  They raise their glasses.
BRIAN
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad!
They CLINK glasses and drink.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. MURPHY'S PUB -NIGHT
It's dark now.  There is a rousing sing-a-long to "The Wild Rover" and it's pretty clear there was more than "just the one."
BRIAN, PADDY, SEAN, ET. AL (singing)
"...and it's no, nay never!  No, nay, never no more! Will I play the wild rover, no never no more...!"
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET -NIGHT
A taxi pulls up in front of a quaint house overlooking the ocean and Brian, Paddy and Sean still singing and carrying on, climb out and then weave towards the front door.
Picture
CUT TO:
INT. BRIAN'S BEDROOM -NIGHT
The boys have laid their father down on the bed, where he's already asleep.  They take his shoes off.  Paddy notices a pamphlet on the night table and picks it up.
PADDY
(Reading) "Understanding Stroke"  Do you suppose he's had a stroke and didn't tell us?
SEAN
I don't know...he seems fine.
PADDY
I knew something was going on.
CUT TO:
INT. GUEST ROOM -NIGHT
Paddy and Sean are in the double bed.  A night-light in the shape of Jesus casts the room in a soft glow.
SEAN
...so, you're telling me you've never had sex before?
PADDY
...Sean, give it a rest...I'm tired...
SEAN
We may never have this conversation again.
PADDY
Sure and I've had plenty of sex...with myself...
SEAN
That's sounds a wee bit lonely.  Never with anyone else.
PADDY
I messed around with a few girls here and there but it was usually a disaster; so I gave up trying.
SEAN
And, with fellahs?
PADDY
There was this one time in school when a boy made a pass at me in the locker room; but we both chickened out.
I saw his stiffy though...
SEAN
Anybody I know?
PADDY
David Caplice--
SEAN
You're joking!  The captain of the soccer team?  That David Caplice?
PADDY
Yes.
SEAN
Well I'll be goddamned.
PADDY
Can I go to sleep now?
SEAN
So, you're like The 40 Year Old Virgin...
PADDY
I'm not forty yet...
SEAN
Close enough.
PADDY
Shut up...
SEAN
(After a pause)  How big was it?
PADDY
I didn't measure it Sean.
SEAN
Was it attractive, as far as those things go?
PADDY
I'm not answering that.
SEAN
Oh, come on...I'm curious...you know, 'cuz he was quite the ladies man...
PADDY
(LAUGHS) Was he now.  Well, I'll tell you: it was a huge, fat, ugly monster!
SEAN
Was it really?
PADDY
Actually, it was one of the most aesthetically pleasing penises I've ever seen.  Now let me go to sleep.
SEAN
(Another pause)...David Caplice.  Boy, just when you think you know the world...
Paddy starts to gently SNORE.
Picture
CUT TO:
INT. O'RIADA LIVING ROOM -DAY
It is the next morning.  Paddy comes in to the room from the kitchen with a cup of coffee, to find his dad watching TV as his brother flips through some photo albums.  
PADDY
What ya watching there dad?
BRIAN
It's an American serial, General Hospital.
PADDY
(Sitting in an easy chair) I believe the Yanks call them "soap operas." (Pointing) Is that the gal from Staying Alive?
BRIAN
I don't know what that is Paddy.
PADDY
It was the sequel to Saturday Night Fever...the disco picture?  Travolta in the white suit?
BRIAN
Oh right!
SEAN
Yeah, that's her...
PADDY
Speaking of hospitals, da.  I saw that pamphlet on your bedside table...did something happen?
BRIAN
Oh, nothing to worry about.
PADDY
What happened?
BRIAN
I had a little incident, that's all. A "tia," they call it.
PADDY
What the hell is that?
SEAN
Transient Ischaemic Attack.  He had a mini stroke.  He volunteered  me the information.
PADDY
Why didn't you tell us?
BRIAN
It was nothing.  I didn't want to worry you.  It only lasted a half hour or so...
PADDY
Did you go to see the doctor?
BRIAN
Where do you think that pamphlet came from?
SEAN
Doesn't having a "mini-stroke" mean you're more likely to have a...maxi-stroke?
BRIAN
I need to make some lifestyle changes.
PADDY
​But da--
BRIAN
And some subject changes.  I can take care of myself.
Paddy stands and crosses to the sofa and sits next to Sean.  He picks up a box of loose photographs and starts looking through them.
PADDY
You looked so handsome on your wedding day. (He shows the photo to his father).
BRIAN
I was happy.
PADDY
Ma was so beautiful.
BRIAN
She still is.
SEAN
Have you seen her?
BRIAN
She's on the Book-Face pages.
PADDY
(Holds up another picture.  It's of two young men in their teens or twenties, hanging out).  Dad, this is Uncle Mike, idn't it?
BRIAN
Sure and it is.  He was the baby.
PADDY
Who's he with here?  He seems to be in all the pictures with Mike...
BRIAN
That was his dear friend Thomas.  They were inseparable.  And when Tom died...well...did I ever tell you Paddy that you've always reminded me of Mike?
PADDY
I don't know...maybe.
BRIAN
(Noticing Paddy's heart tattoo)  Oh, that's a new one, isn't it?
PADDY
Yeah...you like it?
BRIAN
Well son, as you know, I've never been a fan of the art of the tattoo; but it is rather pretty, as those things go.
PADDY
Tanks, da.
BRIAN
It seems like a rather unusual place to have put it...
PADDY
What do you mean?
BRIAN
Well Paddy, you've never been one to wear your heart on your sleeve.
Paddy considers this as he looks at the picture again.
FADE OUT
Picture
Please see the blog entitled HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay / Part 10 for the next installment.
​CFR 5/25/23
0 Comments

HEARTFIGHT: A SCREENPLAY PT. 8

5/12/2023

0 Comments

 
The following scene, I feel, is crucial to the dynamic of the leading men and the movie as a whole.  Henry and Paddy are angry at each other for the wrong reasons.  Paddy is trying to "do the right thing" which is the exact opposite of what he wants; so he's also mad at himself and mad at the world and the only person he has to take it out on is the one he's in love with.  Henry knows that Paddy is bullshitting him; and so he's more angry about that, than he truly is at Paddy.
The scene should be many things at once: intense and exciting but also sad and yearning...and yes, erotic.  Heart plays into this again.  It seems the driving, menacing rhythm of "Barracuda" would be a natural to play over this.  And I think a liberal use of De Palma-esque super slo-mo would be very cool, as it would showcase the beauty of the male athletic form.  And of course, allow us to oggle the two men for that much longer!
CUT TO:
INT. GYM -DAY
Paddy comes out of the locker room and stands opposite Henry.  Roddy sizes them up.
RODDY
You're both wearing red.  One of you is supposed to be in blue.
PADDY
One of us is about to be in black and blue.
HENRY
(Stone faced) Greco-Roman or freestyle--you weren't clear boss.
PADDY
Submission.  No holds barred.  First to pin for count of three wins.
He puts what could only be 14k gold whistle to his lip and WHISTLES.  Paddy and Henry come out of their corners and begin circling one another.
So, this fight is not so much about the moves as the physical closeness that is both violent and intimate.  Suffice to say, that both men keep getting the better of one another.  Henry is more skilled than Paddy, which enrages him.  Picture something along these lines, for now (I will come back later and write all of this out).
As the fight gets more intense, many of the men drift over to watch.  Henry is clearly gaining the advantage.  He gets Paddy in a leglock.
HENRY
Feel the burn old man!
Paddy manages to get himself in a sitting position, which allows Henry to put him in a choke-hold.  Paddy kind of snaps and elbows Henry in the ribs, hard enough to knock the wind out of him.  Seizing this opportunity, Paddy leaps to his feet and goes to the  opposite side of the mat and breathing heavily; assumes a judo stance.
HENRY
Oh! Here we go...
He gets to his feet and assumes the same stance.
PADDY
Bring it on Yank--
Roddy blows the WHISTLE but they ignore him.  They fly at each other and Paddy easily flips Henry over his back and on to the mat.  Roddy WHISTLES again.  Suddenly, the lights dim: a power surge.
CUT TO:
INT. WIND CHAMBER CONTROL ROOM
CHRIS, the controller of the wind tunnel, is standing at the window, where he's been watching the fight.  The camera zooms in on the air-flow speed counter, which suddenly begins to shoot up from 120mph.
CUT TO:
INT. WIND CHAMBER -DAY
Ick, who is flying (and not wearing protective gear) is hurled against the glass, which knocks him unconscious.  As the wind speed increases, he begins to spin around the chamber like a Styrofoam peanut in a hurricane.  An ALARM sounds.

I want the alarm SFX to be the exact ones from the soundtrack of Alien, when Sigourney Weaver scuttles the ship. Why?  Because I LOVE them!
CUT TO:
INT. TRAINING FLOOR -DAY
Roddy, Paddy, Henry and Cal and several other men rush to the stairs leading to the control room.
CUT TO:
INT. CONTROL ROOM -DAY
Roddy rushes in to find Chris desperately trying to shut down the system.
RODDY
Hit the kill switch!
CHRIS
I did!  Nothing's happening.
Roddy rushes out of the room.  The men look on helplessly as Ick starts spinning faster and faster.
CUT TO:
INT. WIND TUNNEL FAN ROOM -DAY
​Roddy rushes in and smashes a glass panel on the wall, and retrieves a fire axe.  He runs to the fan apparatus and raises the axe above his head and brings it swiftly down on the power cable.  The fan winds down.
CUT TO:
INT. WIND CHAMBER -DAY
As the air current slows, Ick lowers down to the safety net.  Paddy and Henry rush in.  Paddy checks his breathing, looks at Henry and nods.  Henry, who is chekcing Ick's pulse, also nods.  Paddy gently shakes Ick, who groans.
PADDY
(LOUDLY) Are you all right?
ICK
(Weakly) I think so...
They move Ick into the recovery position.
HENRY
What's your name?
ICK
Cupe.
PADDY
Who's the Prime Minister?
ICK
...Oldilocks...
Roddy rushes into the chamber and kneels next to Ick.
RODDY
Is he all right?  Medical's en route.
PADDY
He seems so.
ICK
(Singing) ...I'm sick and tired of working...instead of digging praties I'll be diggin' lumps of gold...
​Roddy looks up and then at his son and starts quietly crying.  Henry and Paddy stare at one another until the EMT's arrive.
Picture
CUT TO:
INT. AIRPLANE -NIGHT
Gran, Donna and Stacey enter the business class cabin, where four empty seats in the first row are.
STACEY
I want an aisle seat...
DONNA
I only do aisle seats--
GRAN
Well take them, I'll sit by the window next to Stacey.
They get seated and a FLIGHT ATTENDANT approaches.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
Would you ladies care for some champagne?
GRAN
That would be lovely!
DONNA
Yes please.
STACEY
No thanks.
The flight attendant goes to the galley.
GRAN
You don't like champagne?
STACEY
Let's just say it doesn't agree with me. (She looks around)  This is sweet.  Nice goin' Mary!  You got the luck of the--
GRAN
I don't like that expression love.  I prefer "pluck" of the Irish.
DONNA
I can't wait to see the boys...
GRAN
Are you including Danny in that?
DONNA
Yes.  I actually kind of miss him.
STACEY
Say, why does Danny have an accent and Henry doesn't?
GRAN
Well, you see Danny--
She falls silent when she sees Claudio come through the entry door.  In fact, all the women's jaws drop. Claudio looks at his boarding pass and gestures to the seat next to Donna.
CLAUDIO
This must be me...
DONNA
(LAUGHING nervously)  Must be...
Claudio takes his seat.  The women look at one another.  He places his arm on the armrest, where Donna's arm already is.
CLAUDIO
Oh, pardon me!  I overshot!
He gazes steadily into her face with a smile that is as dazzling as it is friendly.  Donna gulps.
Picture
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR -NIGHT
Roddy is looking through a window into Ick's room.  Ick is awake and sitting up. He's smiling. Kelly is leaning over him.
Paddy is sitting in a chair, speaking to Cal.  DOCTOR JAWAD, 40's approaches Roddy.
RODDY
If there's bad news, I want it first.
DR. JAWAD
He's had a mild concussion--
RODDY
Mild?  He's lost an entire day of memory!
DR. JAWAD
That's not uncommon.  But the CT and MRI both looked good...no swelling or bleeding.  We just have to monitor him for the next forty-eight hours.  
RODDY
Yes.  Whatever it takes--
DR. JAWAD
After that we can administer a panel of neuropsychological tests...
RODDY
Whatever it takes!
DR. JAWAD
It's important to stay calm Mr. Shannon.
Roddy nods and goes into the room.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM -NIGHT
Roddy crosses to the bed and looks down on his son and strokes his hair.
FRANKIE
Hey dad!
RODDY
Hey Ick!
FRANKIE
Who's "Ick"?
RODDY
That's your knick-name son.  That's what everybody calls you...
FRANKIE
(LAUGHS) No dad.  They call me Cupe!
RODDY
Oh, that's right.  Sorry Cupe.
KELLY
"Cupe." I like that. He is just a little Kewpie doll, idn't he?
FRANKIE
It's short for Cupid...everybody calls me that!

From here on in, Francis/Frankie/Ick is now going to be "Cupe."
Picture
RODDY
That's right.  We all call him "Cupe" from now on; just as we always have.  Paddy, can I have a word with you...
Roddy exits the room.  Paddy stands.
CUPE
Paddy, wait a second--
PADDY
What 's up?
CUPE
I have something really important to tell you!
PADDY
What is it?
CUPE
...I...I can't...it has something to do with diamonds...
PADDY
It'll come to you lad.
He exits the room.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR -NIGHT
Paddy finds Roddy at a hot beverage vending machine.
RODDY
Fancy anything?
PADDY
No thanks...
They watch as the paper cup finishes filling with tea.  Roddy picks it up and sits on a nearby bench.
RODDY
Like it or not, I'm teaming you and Notlad up.
PADDY
That's your decision.  But I think me and Terry Zhao would be the better--
RODDY
What's your problem with Hank?  He seems like a great guy?  Why don't you like him?
PADDY
He's arrogant--
RODDY
Well, that's the pot calling the kettle black!  Paddy, I want you to take a couple of weeks off and get your head together.
PADDY
My head's fine and dandy.
RODDY
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. You can stay in my house in Agay--
PADDY
Come again? (CHUCKLES)
RODDY
​It's in the South of France.
PADDY
I appreciate that Roddy; but I haven't seen me Da in a while...
RODDY
Well you do that then...(he sips his tea and winces.  Paddy squeezes his shoulder).
PADDY
I think Frankie--
RODDY
"Cupe."
PADDY
Cupe is going to be fine.  I've banged my head a lot harder than that and look at me.
Roddy looks at Paddy and raises his eyebrows and drops his tea into the trash bin.
Picture
CUT TO:
INT. AIRPLANE -NIGHT
The cabin lights are dimmed.  Many passengers are asleep.  Gran is "resting her eyes" as Stacey watches a movie.  Donna is now in a cozy tete-a-tete with Claudio.
CLAUDIO
...so, my dad worked in finance and my mom was a teacher...pretty normal.  I never thought I'd end up doing what I do.
DONNA
What do you do?
CLAUDIO
I'm a personal trainer.
DONNA 
Really?  Where?
CLAUDIO
All over the world--you have the prettiest eyes...
DONNA
Thank you.
CLAUDIO
Sei una bella ragazza...
DONNA
(Blushing) Grazie ma non dovrei flirtare.
CLAUDIO
You speak Italian?
DONNA
Yeah...
CLAUDIO
You speak it beautifully.
DONNA
My mom grew up in Naples, so I grew up speaking it right along with English.
CLAUDIO
(Glancing at Gran and Stacey) Do your friends speak it?
DONNA
No...
CLAUDIO
Then it will be just between us...
Gran stirs in her seat and raises her eye shades.  She elbows Stacey.
GRAN
Is she speaking Italian with that man?
STACEY
How should I know?
GRAN
Change seats with her.
STACEY
No.
GRAN
No good can come of a seven foot, caramel-brown eyed man whispering in a Romance language thirty-eight-thousand feet in the air...
STACEY
Que sera, sera...
GRAN
That's not funny.
STACEY
I thought it was.
Gran puts her eye shades back as Stacey glances over at her friend; who it must be said, is officially (mentally, anyways) canoodling.
Please see Heartfight: A Screenplay Pt. 9 for the next installment
CFR 5/17/23
0 Comments

HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay / Pt. 7

5/7/2023

1 Comment

 
Wow!  That might've been gayer than this entire screenplay, thus far!

​
CUT TO:
INT. REPTON BOXING CLUB -DAY
A table is set up in front of the boxing ring.  Seated, with microphones before them, are from left to right, Sean, Paddy, Roddy Shannon, Henry and Danny.  MEMBERS OF THE PRESS are sitting in folding chairs, filming, recording, photographing and asking questions.  Cameras flash: the classic fighters meet the press scenario.
RODDY
I asked you Ladies and Gentlemen to come here today to the historic Repton Boxing Club because Lani-Batali is going to change the very history of professional fighting itself!
Hands shoot up from the assembly.  Roddy points to REPORTER #1, CLIVE HIGHSMITH.
CLIVE
Clive Highsmith, Sporting News.  Mr. Shannon, could you tell us what the term means?
RODDY
Loosely translated it means "sky gods."  I came across it in my studies of the Druid Occult and Ancient Celtic languages.  And these men are gods!  Just look at my boys here, Paddy O'Riada who you all know and my new discovery, Mr. Henry Notlad.
More hands.  More pointing.  This time, a YOUNG WOMAN REPORTER, CYNTHIA MILLER responds.
CYNTHIA
Cynthia Miller, Athletica magazine. Aren't your "gods" here a little long in the tooth?  Fighting, any kind, is a young man's game.  Paddy is thirty-seven, if I'm not mistaken--
RODDY
Well, Miss Miller, these men won't have to answer to gravity, will they?  Gravity just drags everybody down, duddnit?
LAUGHTER and more hands.
RODDY
I'll take more questions later; but right now, in front of all you good people; messieurs O'Riada and Notlad are going to officially join Lani-Batli...
He hands gold fountain pens to Paddy and Henry who sign the contracts in front of them as camera flashes dance across the gym.  They both stand and Roddy turns to one then the other and eagerly shakes their hands.
RODDY
And I'd also like to announce an exhibition match between these two blokes at a to be determined date.
He steps back and Henry and Paddy shake hands.  Both have blank expressions; but their eyes are searching one another.
CUT TO a tight CLOSE-UP of Paddy's heart tattoo as Henry claps his free hand over it.
Roddy grabs either by the wrist and hoists their arms into the air.
FADE OUT
FADE UP FROM BLACK
EXT. PADDY'S BUILDING -DAY
Danny quickly mounts the stairs of Paddy's building and RINGS the bell. 
CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S KITCHEN -DAY
Ick, in his tighty-whiteys and a sweat-shirt is sitting in the breakfast nook with Kelly.  She's sipping her tea as she gazes out the window.  Ick, is reading the back of the CoCo Shreddies cereal box as he has a bowl full.  He hears the RING and goes to the intercom.
ICK
Hello?
DANNY
(O/S)  Is Paddy in?
ICK
He's working out...can I tell him who's calling?
DANNY
It's Danny Notlad.
ICK
Oh!  Hold on a second Danny, let me buzz him-- 
CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S GYM -DAY
Paddy is at the punching bag, banging away with an almost scary intensity, when he hears a BUZZ on the intercom. He goes to it and depresses the button.
PADDY
Aye!
ICK
Danny Notlad's at the door for you Paddy--
PADDY
Foine; could you buzz him in for me Ick?
ICK
Yep--
CUT TO:
EXT. STOOP -DAY
ICK--
(O/S over intercom)  He's in the gym Danny, first door on the right--
DANNY
Tanks Cupe!
ICK
This is Ick...you know, Frankie--
DANNY
I'm callin' ya "Cupe" from now on, for reasons of me own.
ICK
Okay...
The door lock BUZZES and Danny goes into the foyer.  The gym door is open and he enters.  Paddy is back at the punching back, his jabs slower and more measured.
PADDY
Hello Danny.  What can I do for you?
DANNY
It's not so much what you can do for me; but for my brother...
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN -DAY
Ick has returned to his cereal.  Kelly looks up from her tea.
ICK
What do you say we--
KELLY
(Putting a finger to her lips)  Hold on a second--
The conversation from the gym is broadcasting over the intercom, with a nearly crystal clarity.
PADDY
(O/S) What can I do for him Danny?
DANNY
(O/S) Stay away from him.
KELLY
Paddy's got the button stuck again.  We shouldn't listen to this, Ick.
ICK
We can't turn it off from----
KELLY
Shhh!  I can't hear them--
CUT TO:
INT. GYM -DAY
(Continuous)
PADDY
Well don't you just cut to the chase...(He ponders this for a moment, then punctuates the following with blows to the bag)...Stay away from him?  I'm gonna be fighting him. Training with him...Roddy's talking about making us a team--
Besides, why would I?  Why are you saying this to me? (He starts punching the bag with more ferocity).
DANNY
Look Paddy, you could take me apart and put me back together again six ways to Sunday.  I'm not a fighter.  But I will fight for my brother.  I like you Paddy.  I knew I liked you from the moment I met you.  You seem like the type of fellah who will do the right thing.  I know what happened between you and Henry.  He told me.  We've never kept secrets from each other...we couldn't if we tried...
PADDY
What did he tell you exactly?
DANNY
He said...your worlds collided...and I took it to mean that it was something that was possibly life changing. 
PADDY
(Steadying the punching bag)  He said that?
DANNY
That's what he said...
Paddy goes to a rack on the wall and removes a Tao Stick.  He begins spinning it.  It's clear he's mastered the weapon.
He moves towards a training dummy and pummels it with the knob.  He keeps thrusting and jabbing with it as the conversation continues...
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN -DAY
We see Kelly and Ick in profile as they continue to listen, their eyes wide.
CUT TO:
INT. GYM -DAY
DANNY
Henry has a girl upon whose finger he's placed a diamond as big as the Ritz.  She's coming here in a few days; as is our grandmother; a woman whose bad side you do not want to be on.  I'm just letting you know that a lot of people's lives are involved in this.  All I'm asking you to do, is do the right thing.  I don't want you to hurt him.
PADDY
I would never purposefully hurt him.
DANNY
That's what I'm afraid of.  He thinks he might be in love with you...
Paddy fumbles the stick which goes CLATTERING across the floor where it knocks the now righted Shepherd's pipe over. 
DANNY
Oh, I've been looking for this...(he crouches down and picks it up and starts for the door)...Paddy, I mean this in all sincerity.  I hope we can be friends.
He leaves.  Paddy sits on a bench and hangs his head.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN -DAY
Ick and Kelly lean over either side of the island.
ICK
What are we going to do?
KELLY
Nothing, for now.  Let's get dressed and go out.  I don't want him to figure that we may have overheard that load of bullshit.
ICK
Maybe Danny's right...(Kelly gives him a skeptical look)...and I'm not saying that because I have a little torch for him--
​KELLY--
Wait--the light was off in the gym when Sean and I walked by the window!  We must've walked in on them--
ICK
What are you talking about?
KELLY
The night before last...they were together in the gym...they were both glowing like Obediah!  Shite!  He's coming up the stairs--
She rushes Ick down the hall and into her room and closes the door.
Picture
INT. BOSTON LOGAN AIRPORT -DAY
Donna, Gran and Stacey are sitting in the waiting area.  Gran is knitting.  Donna is looking at her phone and Stacey is flipping through British Vogue which has a cover shot of Billie Eilish in a plunging gown.
STACEY
Billie Eilish has really great tits!
DONNA
(Looking) She does.
GRAN
Stacey dear, if you're going to refer to Ms. Eilish's breasts with that word; would you please use the diminutive?
STACEY
There's nothing "diminutive" about her girls!
A GATE ATTENDANT's voice comes over the P/A.
GATE ATTENDANT
(V/O) Good afternoon everyone.  This is David with Aer Lingus flight 132 with service to Dublin. As you already know, our flight is overbooked today, so we're looking for folks with flexible plans able to travel on our next flight.  We're offering confirmed seating on the next flight and a three-hundred and fifty dollar travel voucher.  So, if I have three folks together that would be grand.  Please see me at the desk if you're interested.
STACEY
I wonder if they'd bump us up to first class?
DONNA
I doubt it...and it would be the next flight, which is at nine-thirty tonight.
GRAN
There's only one way to find out.  (She packs up her knitting and stands).
STACEY
I could flash my tits at him!
GRAN
"Titties," love.  And he's more than likely gay.
DONNA
Mary, that's such a stereotype!
GRAN
I worked at this airport for thirty years.  I know of what I speak.
Picture
CUT TO:
INT. -GATE COUNTER -DAY
Gran, flanked by Donna and Stacey, approaches the counter.  The attendant, DAVID, couldn't look more like a leprechaun if he tried.  He looks up to find Stacey adjusting her cleavage for maximum effect.  She smiles and winks.
GRAN
Hello young man.
DAVID
Hello, how can I help you?
GRAN
Now isn't that a lovely Claddagh ring...and I see the heart's turned in.  Who's the lucky girl?
DAVID
Jimmy McGonagle...
GRAN
Oh, congratulations!
DAVID
Thanks.
GRAN
You're welcome.  So David, we ladies are interested in your offer--
DAVID
Brilliant!  I was getting sort of desperate...
GRAN
We were wondering though, if we do take your offer, could you bump us?
DAVID
You mean like the dance?
GRAN
(LAUGHS) No, you scamp...like a sort of upgrade...to first class...?
DAVID
We don't have first class; we have business class, which, all tings considered, is pretty darn classy itself.
GRAN
We'll take it!
DAVID
Sold.
GRAN
And we still get that five-hundred dollar voucher?
DAVID
Well, it's three-hundred and fifty...but let me see what I can do...
His fingers fly over his keyboard.  His eyes scan the screen.  After a couple of determined key strokes, he looks up.
DAVID
Doon and doon.  The plane leaves at nine-thirty.
GRAN
Well, girls, we can go and have a nice dinner in the city.  Thank you David, and give my regards to Mr. McGonagle.
(She starts off).
DAVID
You'll be needing your boarding passes Mrs. Murphy--
GRAN
Oh roight!
She turns to Stacey and winks and begins readjusting Stacey's decolletage. 
CUT TO:
INT. -LANAI-BATALI HQ -DAY
Roddy and Cal are crossing the floor, watching groups of men at various stages of training.  Some are practicing with the Tao sticks.  Some are sparring.  Others doing martial arts.
RODDY
Do you think we should start a women's division?
CAL
Well, of course; but I'd be concentrating on getting the men off the ground first--
RODDY
So to speak.
CAL
So to speak...
RODDY
What's going on with Paddy?
CAL
What do you mean?
RODDY
He's been in a mood for the past few days.  I ran the idea of him and Hank teaming up and he put the kibosh on it out of the gate.
CAL
I had a game of darts with the two of them the other night and they we're getting on like long lost brothers.
RODDY
Cal, go find Paddy and I'll round up Henry...
CAL
Sure.
RODDY
And bring him over to the wrestling mats--
CAL
Right.
Roddy scans the space and spots Henry doing Tai Chi in a corner.
RODDY
Henry!
Henry looks over as Roddy trots towards him.
How about Herizen F. Guardiola as Stacey?  Works for me!
Picture
HENRY
What's up?
RODDY
I'm sorry to spoil your meditation; but I want you to do something for me.
HENRY
You're the boss, boss.
RODDY
Did you wrestle in secondary school?
HENRY
You mean high school?  Yeah, why?
RODDY
Go put on a singlet and meet me back here.
HENRY
Okay...why?
RODDY
No questions.
Henry shrugs and heads for the locker room.  Cal approaches Roddy.
CAL
Paddy was up in the wind chamber, he'll be down in a minute.  What's up?
RODDY
If he's going to act like a school boy, then I'll treat him like a school boy.
CUT TO:
INT. LOCKER ROOM -DAY
Henry, in a wrestling singlet, closes his locker and puts his foot on the bench to tie his shoe.  Paddy enters the room and goes to his locker.
HENRY
Hey Paddy!
PADDY
'Sup?
HENRY
We're have you been?  I was starting to think you were avoiding me...
PADDY
Where did you get that jumper?
HENRY
​I believe it's called a singlet--
PADDY
Whatever.  Where?
HENRY
That closet...right over there...
Paddy goes to the walk-in closet and opens the door.  He goes in.  Henry looks about to see if they're alone.  He goes to the closet, slips in and closes the door.
CUT TO:
INT. CLOSET -DAY
Paddy, half -naked looks up to see Henry moving towards him.  Henry puts a finger to his lips.  Unable to contain himself, he throws his arms around Paddy and proceeds to try and kiss him.  Paddy, with some force, pushes him away.
HENRY
What--
PADDY
You can't touch me Henry.
HENRY
(Confused) We're going to be fighting.  We're going to be touching each other all the time.
PADDY
Not in that way.
HENRY
What's wrong?  You seemed to really enjoy me touching you that way the other night.
PADDY
I've had better.
HENRY
But you told me--
PADDY
I lied.
HENRY
I don't believe you.
PADDY
I don't care.  You have a fiancee Henry.  I'm not going to be a homewrecker.
HERNY
If anyone's going to wreck my home, it'll be me.
PADDY
Pretend the other night didn't happen.  I'll have no trouble.
HENRY
Right.  You know the other night we blew each other's fucking minds; and we're about to do some Greco-Roman.  That requires a lot of touching.
PADDY
I can handle it.
HENRY
Five'll get you ten that you get hard first.  Are you coming?  Or are you just going to stay in here?
He leaves. Paddy finishes getting dressed. He holds out a hand.  He's trembling.  As he storms through the locker room, he punches a locker door closed.
Picture
Please see HEARTFIGHT PT. 8 for the next installment.
CFR  5/12/23
1 Comment

...What A Feeling!

5/2/2023

0 Comments

 
Picture
So, Joseph and I saw the 40th Anniversary re-release of Flashdance at our local cinema this past Sunday.  You know, for as much as this movie has kind of figured into my life; I never actually saw it on the big screen in its original release.  My best friend at the time, Scott had.  And was obsessed with it.  It wasn't until it went on heavy rotation on cable TV that I saw it...and even then, not in its entirety.
Yeah, so I finally saw it in all its BIG screen glory.  I was thinking the theater was going to be packed with people, many in leg warmers and slouchy, off-the-shoulder sweatshirts; but I was wrong.  Joseph and I were the only ones there.  So, it was a private screening...which was good.  We were able to just converse during the movie.  This re-release was brought to us by Fathom Events.  Fathom Events is--well, I'm not really sure.  But this was my second Fathom Event, the first being a screening of Tommy Wiseau's masterpiece, The Room.  I went to see it with Joseph and several actor friends who were really into The Room experience at the time.  For whatever reason though, there was no sound.  Everyone left but us, and we supplied a good 95 percent of the dialogue.  It was fun!  
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So, you'd think, going to see an anniversary release of a beloved "classic," you be presented with the most beautiful print of said classic; possibly restored with zhoozed soundtrack.  You'd think.  Fathom Events really dropped the ball.  I felt like I was watching the movie being projected from one of those early Big Screen TV projectors.  'Memba them?  If you do, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
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I remember them.  And what I remember in particular was that you couldn't really see the image unless you were standing, and squinting with your head at just the right tilt. 
Actually, the quality of the projection was even worse than that.  Maybe more like a VCR viewed through a magnifying glass.  But we enjoyed it!  It's nearly impossible to NOT enjoy Flashdance.
So, rather than wax philosophic about the movie now; I'm going to supply you with an excerpt from my novel, "83 in the Shade," that was more or less my take on the movie then; and my take on the movie now...
​
​I looked again at the picture of Jennifer.  It was clearly a publicity shot; but probably a still taken during the filming of the scene where Jennifer waxes rhapsodic about the esotericisms of musical appreciation.  She’s explaining to her construction mogul boss that “if you close your eyes, you can see the music…” as she sits spread eagled on an ottoman pulling the folds of her voluminous cut off sweatshirt betwixt her knees, almost down to her crimson FMPs.  During the scene in the movie, Jennifer plays the scene dreamily, if not druggedly.  But in the still, she’s staring out with a mixture of vapidity and fierceness—as though the photographer snapped her picture just after she’d yawned and she was none too pleased.  In any event, she looks determined.  Doe-eyed and determined at the same time.  She’s going to take her passion and make it happen (not just the character, but the actress) even if it means giving up her dirigible hangar sized loft.
Flashdance has to be one of the stupidest photoplays ever committed to celluloid. It makes the musicals of the 30’s seem plausible.  Jennifer’s character “Alex” resides in Pittsburgh, PA, a place at once both gritty and glamorous thanks to the steel barons of yore.  It’s a place where one can be, say, a welder by day and a dancer by night; which, coincidentally, or heroine is.  Yes, she’s a welder.  Wait, let me clarify that…She’s a WELDER.  She’s not flinging around a soldering iron in some electronics factory.  She’s wielding an acetylene blowtorch and WELDING things—like I-Beams and steel girders and flying buttresses.
When she’s not reinforcing some heavy-metal super-structure, she’s maniacally pursuing her real “passion” which is dancing.  With a capital “D”.  If she’s not at the steel yards, she’s gigging at a riverfront bar, regaling dockworkers and other blue-collar types with experimental avant-garde dance routines.  The workingmen of Pittsburgh like their exotic dancing with an edge.  A cutting edge.  We’re talking nothing less than the latest high-tech video and advanced installations of electronica.  The finest, apparently, that a fistful of dollar tips can buy.  Which is odd, since we never see Jennifer dance for tips.    Hey, it’s not that kind of place!  This is Art for Art’s sake!  If you want titties, go down the street.
Yes, Jennifer is busy, busy, busy!  Wait!  There she is, rescuing her troubled best friend from the perils of pole dancing in disreputable establishments!  Over there!  It’s Jennifer, winning over the stuffy board of a prestigious dance academy with her daring, mind-expanding audition!  Hey, where did she go now?  There she is, at Pittsburgh’s poshest noshery, wearing nothing but a tuxedo shirt as she seductively scarfs savory shellfish!
Now I’m no expert on Pennsylvania labor laws, but Jennifer is supposed to be eighteen.  Yet, she’s a full-time welder, doing what appears to be highly advanced work (i.e.: spot welding fuel rods for nuclear reactors).  I would think this would require a lot of highly specialized training and a lengthy apprenticeship. When did she find time to master the welding arts?  Between Jazz and Tap? Did she go to welding pre-school?
Yes, Flashdance is one of the stupidest movies ever made.  And one of the most enjoyable.  Scooter and I had seen it at least seven times.  We couldn’t get enough.  It was mesmerizing.  It was like some kind of wildly addictive drug.  You were thinking about your next fix before the movie was half over.  The irony of if all though was that Jennifer did almost none of her own dancing.  Some French lady does.  This becomes glaringly obvious by the third or fourth viewing.  Jennifer is only shown in cut-away close-ups during the dance sequences.  Or, in medium long shot during the parts of the routine that a three toed sloth could accomplish.  And the French lady’s hair is different; especially when it gets wet and it’s clearly a permanent.  Oh, she tries to disguise herself by whipping her head back and forth really fast or wearing clown make-up (don’t ask).
It makes you wonder why they hired Ms. Beals in the first place. I mean Jennifer undoubtedly has a certain vacuous charm; but she’s no Dame Edith Evans in the acting department.  They couldn’t find a pretty girl who could pretend to weld, pout, and actually dance too?  Think of all the money they could’ve saved in overages if they hadn’t had to shoot twice as much film disguising Jennifer’s double.  They should’ve called the movie Frenchdance.  Scooter’s grandmother referred to it as “Flashpants,” as in: “Are you going to see that ‘Flashpants’ movie again?”  She had mistaken a lyric in the film’s omnipresent theme song as “take your pants off” instead of “take your passion”.  Referring to the film as “Flashpants” was a logical progression.
Side Note: In the years since Flashdance, Ms. Beals has more than grown into her role as an actress and icon.  I would go to see her in a Shakespeare play, any time!
Ciao!
​CFR  7/24/23
0 Comments

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    AUTHOR
    Christopher Reidy is from the Boston area.  He attended Boston University where he studied TV and film which eventually led him to Los Angeles.  There he did the Hollywood thing (which he wasn’t particularly good at) and eventually met his partner Joseph.  He was one of the co-founders of the short lived Off Hollywood Theatre Company which staged several of his original plays.  83 In the Shade is his first novel.  He also dabbles in screenplays, toys with short stories, and flirts with poetry.  Life brought him to bucolic Southwest Virginia where he now resides and is very active in community theatre. It may interest you to know Chris is officially an Irish citizen as well as an American. He also enjoys drawing and painting and looking after a passel of 
    ​
    housecats and two turtles.

     

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