CUT TO:
INT. -LANI-BATALI CONFERENCE ROOM -DAY
Roddy is showing his MEN a video on the big screen behind the table. Also present are Sean, Danny, Cal and Cupe. In the video, actress ELIZABETH TAN explains what Lani-Batali is all about.  The video, as one might expect, is flashy and over the top.  Elizabeth, in a sparkling jump-suit, is first seen in the flying chamber.  She grabs a tao stick, which is spinning nearby, lands, exits the chamber and does an elaborate bit with the stick.  The camera does a fast zoom to her face and we hear the sound of ROARING WIND.
ELIZABETH
Welcome...to Lani-Batali!
Paddy and Henry are seated at the table, next to one another.
PADDY
(Sotto voce, to Henry) Isn't she on Doctor Who?
HENRY
Emily in Paris.

Paddy smiles and raises an eyebrow.
HENRY
Donna watches it!
PADDY
And you just happen to be in the room--
RODDY
Boys, please pay attention to this; there'll be a quiz afterwards.

So, for this promotional video for the fictional sport of "Lani-Batali"; Ms. Tan will proceed to explain the sport, which is unfamiliar to the public at this point in the story.  Now, as I have not created the rules of the sport yet; or the object of the game; or the moves or how you win (I'm working on it, with my husband as a consultant): I will not, at this point, do all the dialogue for the promo.  Just a few references to give a general idea of the way a game would play out.  Basically, the men inside the chamber attempt to hit sensor points on their opponents (skin tight) suits.  The sensors are located in places that can be protected; for example, the elbow crease, the area behind the knee, the Achille's tendon and the solar plexus, which scores the most points in the round, as well as ending it.  It's tantamount to a "K.O."

ELIZABETH
Lani-Batali is the exciting new sport that's taking off this fall...
We see computer animation of fighters in the wind chamber as Elizabeth explains further:
ELIZABETH
Games will be played, mano a mano for four rounds.  Points are scored using the tao stick.  When the stick makes contact with kamoi points at the elbows, knees, Achille's tendon and the solar plexus, points are scored--
RODDY
(Talking over the audio from the screen)  Now, she just said "mano a mano"; and a lot of the fights will be just two of you...but I want to launch this and I want to launch it over the top...
CUT TO:
The promo.  Elizabeth throws the tao stick to the top of the chamber and there is a quick cut to her catching it.  She's now on a skydiving plane, in a ski-tight, low-cut, jump suit.  She hands the stick to an INSTRUCTOR and turns to the camera.
ELIZABETH
Lani-Batali...it will take your breath away!
The instructor pushes her from the plane.  We see her parachute open and the Lani-Batali logo on the chute, filling up the wild blue yonder.  The camera closes on the logo and the video ends.  The people in the room APPLAUD.
​RODDY
Well, that's the rough cut.  Wait 'til you see it after post.
He stands again and motions to Henry and Paddy.
RODDY
Will you two gents stand please?
Henry and Paddy look at one another.  They weren't expecting this.
RODDY
Crew, I know you've worked with these guys and have come to love them like brothers.  Henry and Paddy will be our first pair with a storyline.  Our first "heroes" of the game.  The good guys, if you will...
There is more APPLAUSE.  Clearly this is okay with everyone.  A few of the crew offer hands to shake and stand and pat the pair on the back...
RODDY
But, as we all know...we can't have the good guys without the bad guys...(he speaks into his watch)...send them in.  People, I want you to meet, The Bad Guys...
The conference door opens and the camera CLOSES on two MEN who enter the room.  They are huge, imposing and very intimidating.  They sort of make Paddy and Henry look like two Davids to their combined Goliath.  Henry and Paddy look at the two men, then at each other and finally, their respective brothers.  To say they are looks of concern would be an understatement.
So, these two men don't necessarily need to be gigantic; but slightly larger than our leads.  Combing the world of the WWE, I found these two men who certainly fit the parts, lookswise:

The blonde is Dexter Lumis and the other gentleman is Omos.  I guess we're kind of getting into Rocky territory here, but if we're going to be "inspired" let's be inspired by the classics.  And a movie franchise that has nine entries, thus far!

CUT TO:
INT. MEN'S ROOM AT L/B HQ -DAY
Henry and Danny are at the urinals.  Danny flushes, zips up and then checks the stalls to make sure they're alone.
DANNY
This is bullshite!  Those blokes are twice the size of you two! (He goes to the sink to wash his hands)
HENRY
I don't know if I'd say that...
DANNY
Where the fook has he been keeping them?  
HENRY
(Flushing, zipping, going to sink)  Who knows?  And so what if they're bigger?  We'll all be floating in the air, so does it matter?
DANNY
Yes it matters.  We don't know what their agenda might be.  And what about your...issue?
HENRY
Roddy's doctor's put me through the works and signed off on me; that's all I know.
DANNY
Well, maybe there's a little "don't ask, don't tell" going on here.
Henry LAUGHS.
DANNY
It's not a joking matter Henry.  Ironic maybe--but no joke.
HENRY
Lighten up Danny.  It'll be all right.
DANNY
Maybe.  But I want a meeting with me, you, Sean and Roddy.  And Cupe. I think he should be there.
HENRY
You're the boss.
Henry wads up his paper towel and throws it at the trash can.  It bounces off the rim.  Danny picks it up and tosses it.
DANNY
No, Roddy's the boss.  And I don't like the way he's doing business.
He SLAMS out of the bathroom.  Henry regards himself in the mirror, raises his T-shirt and traces some concentric circles over his heart as he smiles.  His mind is a million miles away.  We ZOOM into the reflection where Henry's finger is tracing.  We FADE to:
CLOSE-UP: The same area of Henry's chest as another finger, this time a surgically gloved finger-tip, which taps the xiphoid process.  The camera pulls back and we see that the finger belongs to Kelly O'Kelly.  Henry is in her chair at the tattoo shop.
KELLY
Right there?
HENRY
Maybe a little bit higher.
KELLY
Here?
HENRY
Yeah, that'll work.
KELLY
So, Paddy sent you, yeah?
HENRY
He doesn't know I'm here.  I want to surprise him.

KELLY
Awww.  That makes me happy.  I'll give you my discount!
HENRY
That's what Paddy said!
KELLY
Did he then?  I'll have to speak to him about that.
HENRY
I hope I didn't get him in trouble.
KELLY
No, I'm kidding you.  So, you want like a dartboard about the size of a ten pee?
HENRY
Yeah, like an American quarter (He shows her the coin) A little bigger than that.  But not a dartboard...more like a bullseye...in the colors of the rainbow...(He pulls a picture out of his pocket.  It's the rainbow flag done in concentric circles).
KELLY
Oh, the pride flag?  Okay, now before I do this, I just want to ask you...are you sure...because in your profession, you take your shirt off a lot and that's going to be pretty much a political statement. You're going to be in the public eye. Note will be taken.
HENRY
Let them take note.  I'm tired of hiding.  I don't care what anyone thinks.
KELLY
But your boss might. The fans might.  I'm just being real here.
HENRY
Do it Kelly, before I chicken out...
She nods, picks up her needle and blows on it like a smoking pistol.

CUT TO:
INT. RODDY'S OFFICE AT L/B HQ  -DAY
Roddy is at his desk, looking at an ad for Lani-Batali in the newspaper. The phone, which is surprisingly antiquated, BUZZES.
RODDY
(Into intercom) Yeah?
SECRETARY
(V/O) I have Danny Notlad.
RODDY
Put him through.  (The phone RINGS and he picks it up)  Danny boy!  Good afternoon.  How are you today?
DANNY
(V/O throughout) Frankly, Roddy, not so good, after that bomb you dropped on us the other day.
RODDY
"Surprise"
DANNY
Yeah, you say tomato--
RODDY
"Tow-maht-oh"
DANNY
Whatever.  I really want to have a sit down with you, me, Sean, Hank and Cupe.
RODDY
I sense an edge in your voice Danny.  Listen, let me sit down with you at dinner.  My treat.
DANNY
Whatever you want...but you can't butter me up.
RODDY
But I do butter your bread.
DANNY
Touche.
RODDY
You mean "tooshe."  How about eight o'clock tonight at the Duck and Waffle?
DANNY
That'd be fine.  See you then.
There's a CLICK and Roddy thinks a moment, hangs up and returns his attention to The London Times.

CUT TO:
INT. -PRIVATE ROOM AT THE DUCK AND WAFFLE
At the table are Roddy, and the two large men we met earlier: "The Bad Guys."  They are MAGNUS "THE VIKING" BANG, 30-something and ORCA (FROM MAJORCA) TORRENS, also 30s.  Cupe is standing at the floor to ceiling window, looking at the city, forty stories below.
CUPE
I so want to rappel down this!
​RODDY
Don't stand so close to the glass Frankie; you're making me nervous.
CUPE
Dad, I jump out of airplanes--
A glass panel door slides open and a waiter ushers Danny, Sean, Henry and Paddy into the room.
DANNY
​What--?
RODDY
(Standing) Now before you say anything you might regret; let's all shake hands and make nice.
Danny turns on his heel, headed for the door.  Henry stops him.  The men drop their voices.
HENRY
Just let's hear what he has to say--
DANNY
This is bullshite!
SEAN
​Come on Dan.  If you stay, I'll stay; what do you say Paddy?
PADDY
I'm not talking to him.
SEAN
Roddy?
PADDY
No, this one--(he tilts his chin towards Danny).
DANNY
Paddy, I'm really sorry about all that--
HENRY
We can work on that issue later--
Cupe enters the fray.
CUPE
Please stay.  I know this is weird.  He didn't tell me about it either and I'm on your sides...
DANNY
Fine.
The group approaches the table.  Magnus and Orca stand, hands extended.  The camera CLOSES tight on the hands as the men shake and exchange greetings.
CUT TO:
INT. DUCK AND WAFFLE -NIGHT
Various and sundry digestifs ring the table.  Cupe is finishing off a fairly demolished dessert. Some of the men, including Magnus, are puffing on cigars.
MAGNUS
(In a heavy Norwegian accent)...Hammerfest is the most northern town in Norway...da world, even...my people dare...we fished...we swam in the fjords in January...we glowed in the shadows of the Northern lights...
CUPE
​It's so...Norwegian!
MAGNUS
And if you believe that; I've got a bridge in Brooklyn you might be interested in!  (Now in a decidedly SoCal accent): Actually, I grew up in San Diego.  I am Norwegian on my mother's side...studied law at Duke.  Still don't know how I got into this business.
SEAN
How about you Orca?  And is that your real name?
ORCA
Yes, it is.  I am indeed from Majorca.  I'm a mix of many things including Spanish and Turkish.  And I know exactly how I got into this business.  The only thing I don't know, sometimes, is my own strength.
DANNY
Well, I have to say, I'm impressed.  You seem like nice fellahs.  But Roddy, when we initially signed on to this, you gave me the distinct impression that you wanted to stay away from ballyhoo.   No characters, no storylines, no scripts.  That this was going to be an elegant, Olympic worthy sport.  Am I wrong here?  I mean no offense guys--the whole WWE vibe is great.  But it belongs in the WWE.  Paddy and Henry come out of UFC...am I wrong, I ask again, or is there a disconnect here?  Because, right now I'm feeling really disconnected.
RODDY
Initially, yes, I did envision this as an elite sort of Olympic thing...and I still think it could be...but out of the gate, I want eyeballs.  Hundreds of thousands if not millions of eyeballs.  And the best way to do that is with things that sparkle.  And these four men sparkle.
DANNY
All right.  I've said my piece.  The decision is with my client.
SEAN
And mine...
CUPE
I'm just gonna throw this out there...I could train Magnus and Orca.  I can give them the finesse this sport requires...and, I feel, deserves.
RODDY
You aren't going anywhere near the wind chamber for another six months--
CUPE
But dad!
​RODDY
(Pointing to his noggin) Not until I'm sure you're all there.
CUPE
But I've never been "all there"!
RODDY
​Stop talkin' and eat your puddin' son.  So, I'll put it to Hank and Mr. O'Riada...what says you?

PADDY
Why isn't Cal here?
RODDY
He's in Tokyo, setting up some meetings for me.
PADDY
News to me.  So, my viewpoint is thus.  Roddy, this is your business.  I'm your employee.  If this is the path you want to go down, I'm fine with it.  Magnus and Orca know that seventy-five percent of this is spectacle; so, maybe, they can teach me a few things.
RODDY
How 'bout you Henry?
HENRY
At this point, I'm just going with the flow...
INSERT SHOT
Henry's hand on Paddy's knee below the table.
RODDY
Are you okay Henry?  'Cuz it seems to me that you're not just going with the flow; but you've gone to another planet altogether.
DANNY
He's been dabbling in Zen lately; but no worries Roddy.  He'll do what you hired him to do!
INSERT SHOT
Henry's hand is stroking Paddy's thigh, each time a little higher north.
Paddy is somehow managing a poker face.  Cupe picks up a bowl of whipped cream and plops some on his dessert.
CUPE
Anybody want some squirty cream?  It's really good!
HENRY
Sure, I'd love some!
Paddy picks up his snifter of brandy and downs the remains.  Sean and Danny share a glance.
CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S BEDROOM -NIGHT
Paddy and Henry are lying next to one another, LAUGHING.
PADDY
I can't believe you did that!  I almost came.
HENRY
I don't know...you bring out that side of me.
PADDY
(Delicately touching Henry's new tattoo) I can't believe you did this either.
HENRY
What do you mean?  Do you not like it?
PADDY
No, I think it's brilliant.  It's lovely.
HENRY
But?
PADDY
No.  No "buts."  I love it.  I love you--
HENRY
I guess we both know what we want when we finally want it.  I love you too Paddy.
They kiss.  Paddy lays his head on Henry's chest.  His face registers surprise.
PADDY
Your heart just skipped a beat...wait, there it went again.
HENRY
You make my heart go pitter-pat, Mr. O'Riada.
Paddy CHUCKLES; but he can't disguise the look of concern on his face.

Okay!  So, this would be an ideal time to talk about "rewriting."  The above scene is, more or less, what I want it to be.  However, I think the dialogue is a tad on the clunky side.  And rereading it, I'm not so sure either of them might be so quick with the "I love yous" at this point in the story.  So, I'm gonna rewrite it.  Personally, I'm not a huge fan of the "rewrite."  Unless, to me, it glaringly needs it (and I think the above does).  There are so many aphorisms and advices and admonitions to rewrite things!  "A good book isn't written; it's 'rewritten!'"  I don't think that's true, though.  Or how about those high falutin' authors who are constantly going around talking (or writing) about how they wrote so many drafts of this or that, that they ended up with something completely different from when they started.  But that's not a "rewrite."  That's a process.
The thinking is that you write something and then go back, pick it apart and redo everything.  Why?  For me, I can tell when something simply should have been cut.  And that's usually because it's not really important to the main story.  But the stuff that stays, I do not feel needs to be labored over with a nit comb, simply because that's what people say.  Actually, I think all that bullshit about rewriting and doing draft after draft was created in the ivory towers to deter people from writing.  People in ivory towers usually want the tower to themselves; am I right people?  And what about poor screenwriters?  How many versions of a script are produced after the original by people who had nothing to do with the inception of the piece, but feel they can tell the story better? And then, finally, after it's rewritten by say, the best boy...it comes full circle back to the original draft and that's what gets filmed. Aphorism: "First thought, best thought!" Aphorisms are aphorisms for a reason.  
So...let's do this again...

CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S BEDROOM -NIGHT
Paddy and Henry are cuddling in the bed, LAUGHING.
PADDY
I can't believe you did that!  I almost had a wet dream...while I was awake!
HENRY
I don't know...you bring out this side of me I didn't even know I had.
PADDY
(Delicately touching Henry's new tattoo)...I really can't believe you did this either.
HENRY
What?  You don't like it?
PADDY
No, Henry.  It's quite lovely. Kelly's a fookin' genius--
HENRY
Well, first it was going to be a dartboard.
PADDY
A dartboard?
HENRY
That first night we met; we played darts. (Paddy CHUCKLES and nods his head)...but that was maybe the third time in my life I ever played darts.  So then, I thought, a bullseye...with crosshairs...but that seemed too...Taxi Driver.  Then, when I was looking in the mirror, the light caught the beveled edge of the glass and I saw a rainbow.  The most perfect rainbow I've ever seen...
PADDY
I see; but Henry...you've just now embraced this part of yourself.  Can you really be that sure...that fast?
HENRY
Yes Paddy.  Sometimes realizations come on you like, I don't know...a drop kick from Jesus.  We only have so much time.  I don't want to waste any more of it.
PADDY
Henry?
HENRY
Yes?
PADDY
I...I...love your tattoo...
Paddy kisses the tattoo and lays his head on Henry's chest.  His face registers surprise.
PADDY
Your heart just skipped a beat...wait, there it went again.
HENRY
​You make my heart go pitter-pat, Mr. O'Riada.
Paddy CHUCKLES; but he can't hide the look of concern on his face, which, Henry can't see.

CUT TO:
INT. HENRY AND DANNY'S APT. -DAY
Gran is at the stove, cooking eggs.  Danny is sorting through mail at the table while Henry is doing push-ups in the living room.
GRAN
I'm really starting to feel like an imposition on you two.
DANNY
I told you Gran, we love that you're here.  I actually think the sofa is more comfortable than that bed.
HENRY
You can always share with me, Danny.
DANNY
Sure.  In a single bed with my newly gay brother.
GRAN
That has to be the stupidest remark I've ever heard.
DANNY
I'm just kidding!  
He opens an envelope and removes four tickets.
DANNY
Oh, I forgot about these...
GRAN
What's that?
DANNY
Roddy pulled some strings and got me these tickets to tour Big Ben.  They're only good on this coming Saturday.
HENRY
Let's do it!  Whatta ya say Gran?
DANNY
You have to climb, like, four hundred steps or something.
GRAN
You've seen one clock, you've seen 'em all.  No tanks.
DANNY
I'll go with you.  Why don't you ask Paddy along?
HENRY
Yeah, he'd probably enjoy that.
GRAN
When do I get to meet this Mr. Paddy?
HENRY
I'll bring him by after we see the clock.
​Henry sits at the table and Gran puts some eggs on his plate and fills his milk glass.  We hear Big Ben CHIMING.
GRAN
(LAUGHS) Oh, now isn't that kismet calling?
We continue to hear the chimes as we
FADE TO:
​INT. BIG BEN CLOCK ROOM -DAY
Paddy and Henry and Danny are with a tour group.  The TOUR GUIDE is standing in front of one of the enormous clock faces as she recites some of the facts about it.
DANNY
(To Paddy) She's a wee bit on the dry side...(Paddy doesn't respond)...still not talking to me?
PADDY
How about a truce for now; for your brother's sake?
DANNY
I knew you'd come around!
PADDY
For now.
A YOUNG BOY raises his hand for a question.
YOUNG BOY
How long are the hands?
TOUR GUIDE
The hour hand is ​two point seven meters and the minute hand is four point three meters.
Danny raises his hand.
TOUR GUIDE
Yes Sir?
DANNY
What is that in American?  I mean, feet.
TOUR GUIDE
That would be nine and fourteen.
DANNY
Which is which?
Well, nine would be the hour hand.
DANNY
And the minute hand?
TOUR GUIDE
Fourteen...
DANNY
Roight-O milady!
TOUR GUIDE
Now, if you'll put on your ear defenders, we'll go and see Big Ben himself, as he's about to chime.
CUT TO:
EXT. BIG BEN BELFRY -DAY
The group, now wearing headphones, watch as the Tour Guide looks at her watch and then puts her index finger up.  The hammer begins to hit the giant bell, which the tourists can view through a protective wire cage.  The CHIME is 118 decibels.  Henry looks at Paddy and says something.  "Wow!" perhaps?  Paddy shakes his head and points at his headphones: of course he can't hear.  Paddy says "I love you."  Now Henry shrugs.  Paddy points at his eye, then his heart and then at Henry.  A massive smile lights up Henry's face and he returns the gesture.
CUT TO:
INT. STAIRWELL IN ELIZABETH TOWER -DAY
Paddy, Henry and Danny have fallen behind the tour group on the way down.  Danny looks down the stairwell.
DANNY
Getting close...
Henry stops to catch his breath.
PADDY
Are you okay?
HENRY
I just got a little dizzy.
Paddy catches Danny's eye.
DANNY
Take your time.  You've been working out too much.  And you haven't been hydrating properly.
Paddy stares at Danny, who finally looks away. 
HENRY
I'm fine...
The trio start down the stairs again.

Please see HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay / Pt. 14 for the next installment.

CFR  7/8/23

CUT TO:
INT. PRIVATE JET -NIGHT
DONNA'S POV
We see the lights of London through the widow as the plane flies over.  Donna swivels her chair away from the view as Claudio hands her a glass of champagne.  On the other side of the aisle, Stacey and Seamus are sipping their own glasses.
CLAUDIO
(To Donna) You look so sad Donna...what's wrong?
DONNA
I'm going to miss...London...
CLAUDIO
Well, I think you're going to love Paris!  It's my adopted home...I'll show you mon Paree! (He CLINKS glasses with her).
DONNA
Claudio...
CLAUDIO
Si?
DONNA
There's something I have to tell you--
CLAUDIO
What's that?
DONNA
I--
STACEY
She's a Leo!  I told her not to let that cat out of the bag yet...
SEAMUS
Well Claudio is a Capricorn...you can't find a better match than that!
STACEY
Unless it's Sagittarius and Aries!
SEAMUS
I'm an Aries!
STACEY
No shit!  So am I! (She CLINKS glasses with Seamus)
CLAUDIO
Love is in the stars!
SEAMUS
Aye!
Stacey shoots Donna a stink-eye.  She ignores it and gives Claudio a wan smile.
CUT TO:
INT. HENRY AND DANNY'S APT. -DAY
Henry is  laying on the couch watching an old episode of Space:1999 on the TV.  Danny comes through the door with the mail and stands over Henry.  He holds out an envelope that has "Henry" on it in cursive handwriting.
DANNY
This was taped to the mailbox.
HENRY
What is it?
DANNY
It's for you...looks like Donna's hand-writing to me.  Where the hell is she, by the way?
Henry sits up, takes the envelope.
HENRY
We broke up.
DANNY
What?  When?  And when the hell were you going to tell me?
HENRY
I've got a lot on my mind Danny...I'm trying to figure some things out...
Danny sits in the chair across from Henry and hangs his head.
DANNY
Hank, I have a confession to make...
HENRY
Okay...
DANNY
The morning after you...came out...to me; I went to see Paddy and I--
HENRY
What?
DANNY
I warned him off of you.
HENRY
Jesus Christ.  Well that explains a few things.
DANNY
I was just looking out for you!
HENRY
I can look out for myself.  Stay out of my personal life.
DANNY
But I can't now, can I?
Henry doesn't answer.  He opens the letter and reads it.
DANNY
Well?
HENRY
She and Stacey have gone to Paris with Claudio and Seamus...
DANNY
What!??!
HENRY
You heard me.
DANNY
Our Seamus?  And Claudio, the Swiss guy?
HENRY
Yes.
DANNY
But, how?  How do they even know--
He's interrupted by the BUZZ of the intercom.  He gets up and answers it.
DANNY
Hullo?
GRAN
(O/S) Could you come down and help me with me bags, love?
DANNY
It's Gran!
HENRY
Well, this oughtta be fun.
DANNY
What are we gonna tell her?
HENRY
The truth.  I'm tired of this shit.
Danny GULPS loudly as he presses the switch.
DANNY
Be right down Gran...

SMASH CUT TO:
Gran lowering the letter as she removes her readers.
GRAN
This is just like the time Carla Cullen ran off with The Three Dog Night...well, what can you expect of two titty dancers?  And I can say that due to my days in the demimonde, as a fan dancer. Or should I say nights?
DANNY
So you met them?
GRAN
Who?
DANNY
Seamus and Claudio?
GRAN
That sounds like a magic act...who, now?
DANNY
The fellahs they went off with!  One's a giant red-head and the other is a giant...bald head.  They're kind of hard to miss.
GRAN
Does the bald one have golden-brown eyes?
DANNY
Yeah...
GRAN
Speaks Italian?
DANNY
Well, he only spoke English to me; but he has an accent--
GRAN
About six foot five inches?
DANNY
Yeah--
HENRY
It was him, Danny.  I saw him come out of Donna's room.
DANNY
Oh.
GRAN
(To Henry) Well son, you don't seem terribly broken up about it.
HENRY
...I'm sad about it.  I'll always love her and hope we can stay friends...
GRAN
But?
HENRY
Gran, I want to tell you something...
GRAN
Of course Henry.  Tell me...
HENRY
I recently discovered something about myself.  Or should I say, I've accepted about myself?
GRAN
Go on.
HENRY
Gran...I'm gay.
GRAN
(Nods her head)  I know Henry.
HENRY
Really...boy, it seems that everybody but me knew I was gay...
GRAN
Do you know that figure they throw around, that the gays are ten percent of the population?
HENRY
Yeah.
GRAN
Well, I think with the Irish, that percentage should go for the straights.
Henry LAUGHS.  Danny's jaw drops in bemusement.
DANNY
What are you saying Gran?
GRAN
It just seems to me that folks from the old sod are simply super gay.  Even if they don't admit it.  Or know it.  Even the straight ones.
DANNY
You really tink dat?  What about me, Gran?
GRAN
Well, you can't seem to keep a girlfriend for very long...
DANNY
That has nothing to do with it!  That's because of my annoying personality!  And I'm height challenged!
GRAN
The jury's still out on you, boy-o...
Danny HARRUMPHS, stands and goes to the kitchen.
GRAN
Make me a cup of tea while you're over there.  Henry, if there's a gay gene, and I believe there is; then there's a preponderance of it in our family.  Your late Uncle Eustis. Uncle Jackie, Uncle Dennis, Uncle Stephen on your father's side--
DANNY
What?!!?  You're crazy!
GRAN
(Undeterred) Cousin Freddy, Cousin Adam, Cousin Austin, Cousin Moira--
DANNY
​I think you're right on that last one.
HENRY
I get it Gran, I get it...
GRAN
The list goes on...and you're in good company.  They're all lovely souls.  Well, Moira can be a real gurrier sometimes...
Henry CHUCKLES as he removes the necklace with the ring on it, from his neck.  
HENRY
Gran, will you hold on to this for me, for safe keeping?
He holds out the necklace which she takes.
GRAN
I've always loved this ring.  Did she ever wear it?
HENRY
Once or twice.
GRAN
Well, it won't get any safer than here...
She tugs at her neckline and drops the necklace into her cleavage, where it disappears.
GRAN
Now tell me love...are there any same sex prospects on the horizon?
A glowing smile spreads over Henry's face as he blushes bright red.
GRAN
Oh, I believe there are!

​CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S BEDROOM -NIGHT
Paddy's four-poster bed is draped with bed sheets and an Irish flag: a make-shift tent.  Candle light throws silhouettes of Paddy and Henry, cross-legged and facing each other, on to the flag.
PADDY
Do you like my googlie tent?
HENRY
(LAUGHING) Your what?
PADDY
My googlie tent...
HENRY
I heard what you said.  What's a "googlie" tent?
PADDY
What you're sitting inside!
HENRY
Why do you call it a googlie tent...do you mean, like the search engine?  Are you searching for something?
PADDY
Well, yeah...and I think I may have found it...no, no...it's just a name I made up for a bed tent when I was a kid...this was well before "Google."
HENRY
You're kind of weird.  I like it.
PADDY
You do, do you?
Henry nods.  We see the silhouettes of their faces lean in for a kiss.  We FADE TO BLACK and then FADE UP to see the silhouettes of the two men in various positions; that is, sexual positions; the implication is that oral sex is going on with quite a lot of enthusiasm, as well as embraces and more kissing.  We see different positions after each fade and  after the third or fourth FADE, we:
CUT TO:
INT. -BED TENT -NIGHT
HENRY
I just want you to know that I've been tested for everything and I'm copacetic.
PADDY
Me too.
HENRY
But I brought some condoms if you want to--
Paddy shakes his head.  Henry is sitting up.  Paddy on his knees, facing Henry, throws his arms over Henry's shoulders and moves forward.  He lowers himself on to Henry.
HENRY
Oh...oh...oh wow...
PADDY
Oh my God...
SMASH CUT TO:
TIGHT CLOSE-UP on Paddy and Henry's faces.  Paddy is on the right side of the screen, his hair matted with sweat, a look of utter ecstasy on his face.  Henry is behind him, his face over Paddy's left shoulder.  He kisses Paddy's neck. Paddy, unable to contain himself, starts GRUNTING AND MOANING.
HENRY
I'm not hurting you, am I?
PADDY
No--no--
HENRY
I guess we know what a googlie is now!
PADDY
Googlie me Hank!  Googlie me!
They both start LAUGHING.
CUT TO: 
TIGHT CLOSE-UP on the two men's faces again; except now Henry is on the right and Paddy is behind him.
PADDY
Does it feel good?  Am I making you feel nice?
HENRY
I'm forgetting how to read...
​CUT TO:
Paddy is now on his back, his legs wrapped around Henry's hips, his feet locked.  Henry starts thrusting with more intensity and we hear the bed start SQUEAKING.
HENRY
You weren't kidding about the squeaky bed...
​The SQUEAKING grows louder and louder.  Suddenly, the box spring collapses through the bed-frame and hits the floor, bringing the head and foot-boards and the tent with it.  Once the dust settles, we can see that Henry is still going at it.
CUT TO:
​TIGHT CLOSE-UP ​of Paddy and Henry's profiles as they gaze into one another's eyes.
PADDY
That was lovely...
HENRY
I think we broke the bed...
PADDY
It does that sometimes.
Henry looks at the heart tattoo on Paddy's arm.
HENRY
This is nice...
PADDY
Thanks, Kelly did it.  I noticed you haven't any, which nowadays is a bit weird.
HENRY
I could just never commit to anything...but I think I know now what I'd get if I got one.
PADDY
Don't tell me.  Let me guess.  Ahhhh, your zodiac sign.
HENRY
Well, I am a proud Sagittarius...but no.  What are you?
PADDY
Aries.
HENRY
Is that a good combination?
PADDY
Seems pretty good so far...I'd like to buy you that tattoo.
HENRY
I don't know...
PADDY
Then at least let me get the friends and family discount for you.
Henry CHUCKLES.  They gently kiss as the camera pans and does a slow ZOOM to one of the candle flames.

Please see: HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay Pt. 13 for the next installment.
CFR  6/21/23

Hey, I'm getting total Brokeback vibes with this video!  It's a sign!

There is a soft KNOCK on the door.
KELLY
Come in...
Sean pokes his head in the room.
SEAN
Can I talk to you for a minute?
KELLY
Absolutely, come in.
CUPE
Do you want some privacy?
SEAN
No, please stay.  I want your advice on this.
He enters the room, closes the door and sits on the bed.
KELLY
What is it?
SEAN
I'm really worried about Paddy.
KELLY
So are we!  We were just talking about--
SEAN
(Blurting)  He's gay!
KELLY
We've rather figured that out Sean--
SEAN
And he's in love with Henry Notlad!
KELLY
And Henry's in love with him...
SEAN
How do you know?
KELLY
We can't say...we don't want to get anyone in trouble.
SEAN
He can't sleep...he's not eating...he's been lying on the couch, staring at the telly for days--
CUPE
He's lovesick.
SEAN
What are we going to do?
KELLY
We've got to trap the two of them in tight quarters...I know!
CUPE
What?
KELLY
Henry doesn't have a car...your dad's been picking him up, right?  I mean, his driver--
CUPE
Yeah...
KELLY
Sean, does Paddy know anything about cars?
SEAN
About as much as he knows about brain surgery; why?
KELLY
We're gonna Sound of Music his arse!
CUPE
Yeeeaaaahhhhh...
SEAN
​What?  What is that?
KELLY
The movie with Julie Andrews...come on Sean, the musical?
SEAN
I know as much about musicals as I do about brain surgery...
KELLY
The nuns, sabotage the Nazi's car!
SEAN
They do?
KELLY
So, the Von Trapp family--
SEAN
Who are they?
KELLY
Just listen, will you?
She starts telling him the plot as we...
FADE OUT
FADE IN
EXT. STREET -MORNING
Paddy gets in his car, puts the key in the ignition and turns it.  The engine makes a grinding noise and won't start.
PADDY
Fook.
After several more attempts, Paddy takes out his phone and taps out a number.  We hear Sean on the other end.
SEAN
(O/S) Hullo?
PADDY
My goddamn car won't start and I can't take another day off.
SEAN
(O/S) I'll call Roddy...he has a fleet of cars.  Just get to work...I'll handle your voiture.
PADDY
Thanks brother...
SEAN
Have a cup of tea...catch up with Lorraine...
PADDY
​You're mad!

Let's talk about love scenes set inside motor vehicles!

SMASH CUT TO:
Paddy in his living room, sipping tea and watching the morning chatfest, Lorraine.  He looks at his watch.
CUT TO:
INT. ROLLS ROYCE -DAY
​LATHEWAITE the chauffer is driving slowly down Paddy's street. He is somewhere in indeterminate middle age, with a twinkle in his eye (think Robert Morley). He puts his phone to his ear. 
LATHEWAITE
We're approaching rendezvous spot now Sir...
CUPE
(V/O) Is the package ready for delivery?
LATHEWAITE
The package appears to be asleep sir...
He looks in the rearview mirror, where he sees Henry, his eyes closed, in the back.
CUPE
(V/O) Do that voo-doo you do so well Lathewaite...
LATHEWAITE
Very good sir.
CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S LIVING ROOM -DAY
Paddy's phone RINGS and he grabs it.
PADDY
'Ello?
LATHEWAITE
(V/O) The car has arrived Mr. O'Riada.
PADDY
I'll be right down.
He snaps off the TV and grabs his gym bag.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET -DAY
LATHEWAITE
Good morning sir.  Let me put that bag in the back...
PADDY
'Morning...
Lathewaite takes the bag and opens the rear door of the car.  Paddy climbs in.
CUT TO:
INT. ROLLS ROYCE -DAY
Paddy, when he sees Henry, starts to retreat; but Lathewaite is already closing the door.  Paddy SIGHS and sits back.  Henry wakes up.
HENRY
Oh, hey...
PADDY
Hey.
HENRY
Long time no see...you were in my dream...
Henry is clearly still not completely conscious.  Paddy does not respond.
Lathewaite puts the trunk in the boot and gets behind the wheel.
LATHEWAITE
Perhaps you'd enjoy a little shuteye as well Mr. O'Riada...I'll give you some privacy...
PADDY
Really, it's--
But the partition, which is opaque, is already going up.  The lights dim.  Electric curtains slide into place on the windows.
Lathewaite's voice comes over an intercom.
LATHEWAITE
Would you care for some music sir?
PADDY
News would be good...
LATHEWAITE
Very good sir...
We hear an extremely British voice of the ANNOUNCER, low, over the scene.
ANNOUNCER
(V/O)...this is the BBC news...the Royal Family is preparing for...(blah, blah, blah)
Paddy and Henry ride along in silence.  Henry finally breaks it.
HENRY
We broke up.
PADDY
(Considers)  You did?
Henry removes the chain from his neck and dangles the engagement ring in front of Paddy.
​PADDY
I'm sorry about that...
HENRY
Are you?
PADDY
Truly...and that's not bullshite...
ANNOUNCER
(V/O) ...you're listening to the BBC Radio 3 and that was the news.  Next, we have the Habanera from Bizet's Carmen.
The familiar opening of the famous aria starts.  Henry puts the necklace around his neck and leans back and closes his eyes.  His hand is resting on the seat.  In tempo with the music, the following unfolds:
CLOSE on Paddy's hand, which he begins sliding over the seat, towards Henry's with nearly agonizing slowness.

We could bring back the Thomas Crown flying grid for this, as I would cut it much like a montage; but that might be one thing too many.  I will leave out all the "CUT TO"s this scene would necessitate.

CLOSE on Paddy's hand as it stops within millimeters of Henry's.
CLOSE on Henry's Adam's apple, which bobs as he swallows nervously.
CLOSE on Paddy's baby finger as it grazes Henry's baby finger.
Henry's eyelids flutter.
PADDY
I'm sorry about those things I said...
HENRY
I know you didn't mean them...
PADDY
I shouldn't have said them...
Their fingers intertwine. Then Henry puts his hand over Paddy's and raises the palm to his lips.  He gently kisses it.  Almost as though it's choreographed to the aria, on the line "Prends garde a toi" (which means, "you better watch out" more or less) Paddy swings himself to face Henry as he straddles Henry's bare legs (he's wearing shorts).  Paddy takes Henry's free hand and kisses it.  He continues kissing along the length of Henry's arm, yes, in the corny Continental style; which makes it all the hotter.  He continues over the shoulder with his kisses and up the neck until he reaches his own hand, which he pulls away and kisses Henry passionately on the lips.  The kiss becomes decidedly "French."  Henry pushes Paddy back and puts his hands on Paddy's thighs.  Paddy is wearing those ridiculous "tear away" sweat pants that have snaps along the length of them.  Henry pulls at them and one of the snaps POPS open.
CLOSE on Paddy's feet as his dangling flip-flops fall the the floor of the car.  More snaps pop open, revealing more of Paddy's legs.  Henry slides his hands inside the pants and starts sliding them towards Paddy's bathing suit area.  Paddy puts his hands on Henry's, stopping his progress.  Henry shrugs and pulls his hands back.  Paddy reaches up and grasps the zipper pull of his his hoodie and starts to slowly unzip it.  It finally falls open.  Paddy is wearing a tank top.  He grabs the hem of it and pulls the front over his head, hitching it behind his head, on his neck.  Henry reaches up to caress Paddy's flame tattoo.

Paddy's flames go all the way to the other nip...

HENRY
Light my fire...
He gets Paddy out of the hoodie and tank top.  Paddy raises his arms and touches the headliner.  Henry reaches up and traces his finger tips down Paddy's arms, his armpits, his nipples.  
HENRY
You're sweating...
PADDY
(LAUGHS) I'm nervous...
He pulls Henry's shirt up over Henry's head.  Henry smiles and reaches for the pants again.  We hear a series of POPS as the snaps undo; leaving Paddy in a skimpy pair of running shorts.  Henry swings Paddy back into his seat and leans down and quickly takes off his sneakers and socks.  Henry grabs Paddy by the ankles and pulls him into a reclining position on the bench seat.  Paddy is now looking up at Henry as Henry crouches above him.  Henry reaches down and touches Paddy's crotch.  Paddy does the same to Henry.
HENRY
Seems as though we have each other's attention...
He starts dry humping Paddy.  Although clearly enjoying it; Paddy grabs Henry's hips and stops him...
PADDY
Stop...
HENRY
What's wrong?
PADDY
I'd just like...anything further...to be in my bed...is that okay wit you?  Or your bed, of course.
HENRY
My bed is like three thousand miles away.  I like the sound of your bed.
PADDY
It does squeak a wee bit.  I mean, you're sure it's okay?  You could wait?
HENRY
Oh, baby...I have the patience of Rob...
PADDY
Don't you mean "Job"?
HENRY
No, Rob Manoogian, this kid I went to high school with.  He was wicked patient.
Paddy CHUCKLES and they kiss again as they recline in the literal lap of luxury.
CUT TO:
The Rolls pulling into the parking lot of the Lani-Batali HQ.

Who knew they had male stripper schools?

CUT TO:
INT. ROLLS -DAY
Lathewaite puts his phone to his ear.
LATHEWAITE
The packages have arrived Master Shannon...
CUPE
(V/O) Bring the car to the receiving dock, please...
LATHEWAITE
Very good sir.
CUT TO:
EXT. LOADING DOCK -DAY
The Rolls pulls along side the dock.
CUT TO:
INT. ROLLS -DAY
LATEWAITE
(Depressing intercom button) We arrived gentlemen...I'm lowering the partition now...
The partition lowers, but he doesn't see anything.  He tilts the rearview down and sees Paddy and Henry, wrapped around each other, fast asleep.
LATHEWAITE
Ahem...sirs...we're here...
There is no response.  He gets out of the car as Cupe comes through the exit door and clambers down to the pavement.
CUPE
Where are they?
LATHEWAITE
They're in the back sir.  I can't seem to rouse them.
Cupe opens the rear door where he sees two pairs of bare feet.  He climbs in.
CUT TO:
INT.  ROLLS -DAY
Cupe climbs on top the pair and wedges himself between them as they start to wake up.
CUPE
Can I get in on this?
He pulls their arms around him and SIGHS.  They proceed to tickle him, give him noogies, etc.  He CRIES out in pleasure and pain and LAUGHTER.
CUT TO:
INT. LANI-BATALI TRAINING FLOOR
Henry and Paddy, both looking like Ninjas in full black body stockings, are fighting with Tao sticks.  This time, they are both laser focused and it's all business.  But they're having a good time, too.  Henry swings the paddle end of the Tao stick at Paddy's ankles.  Paddy jumps, avoiding a take-down, does a mid-air flip and comes up behind Henry and takes him down with the same ankle maneuver.
PADDY
On your feet, grasshopper.
HENRY
You better watch out dad...
PADDY
You're only four years younger than me.
HENRY
But that's in cat years...
He spins the stick and the fight continues.  Nearby, Roddy, Cupe and Cal are watching.
RODDY
(To Cal) Well, taking that time off seems to have worked. They're getting on like china plates!  Paddy must've gotten a little happy valley over there in Dingle...
CUPE
Yeah Dad...that's what it was...
He winks at Cal who starts LAUGHING.  Roddy looks at him, puzzled.
RODDY
I think it's time to unveil this to the public...come on Cal...let's get this thing in the air!
Roddy strides off.  Cal wheels after him, spins, and mimes shooting an arrow and then taking it to the heart.  Cupe smiles as we...
FADE OUT

Please see HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay / Part 12 for the next installment!
CFR  6/13/23