Hhhheeeyyy by Matthew McConaughey
With his new line of fragrance products, Matthew brings his essence to you. Starting with his signature unisex fragrance, Hhhheeeyyy:
Hhhheeeyyy is a boldy subtle, subtly bold blend of fragrance notes that respond to human hormones. When it interacts with testosterone; watch out! You may not be able to control the effect it has on the opposite sex! Or the same sex. Or even the animal kingdom!* When Hhhheeeyyy encounters estrogen it's every man and every woman for him/her self!**
Hhhheeeyyy is an artisanal blend of fragrance notes and pheremones blended in France, where they don't bathe or wear deodorant; and Matt likes that! He oversaw the entire process of creating Hhhheeeyyy from its unique notes to its sweaty bottle (yes, the bottle sweats (see instruction booklet).*** But please do not apply Hhhheeeyyy to the underarm area unless you can handle the ultimate effects of Hhhheeeyyy****
Hhhheeeyyy is an artisanal blend of fragrance notes and pheremones blended in France, where they don't bathe or wear deodorant; and Matt likes that! He oversaw the entire process of creating Hhhheeeyyy from its unique notes to its sweaty bottle (yes, the bottle sweats (see instruction booklet).*** But please do not apply Hhhheeeyyy to the underarm area unless you can handle the ultimate effects of Hhhheeeyyy****
Every bottle of Hhhheeeyyy contains an actual full milliliter of Matthew's perspiration, guaranteed.##
Hhhheeeyyy starts with topnotes of seaspray, desert dust and Texas toast. Then Hhhheeeyyy moves into midnotes of cherry blossom, beaver musk and patchouli. When it settles into into its basenotes of diaphoresis, sativa rosin, cinnamon Dentyne, McConaughascent(TM/Patent Pending) and Lincoln Backseat Leather you'll know you've arrived. Arrived at that special place that words simply can't describe: McConaughavannah.
Hhhheeeyyy starts with topnotes of seaspray, desert dust and Texas toast. Then Hhhheeeyyy moves into midnotes of cherry blossom, beaver musk and patchouli. When it settles into into its basenotes of diaphoresis, sativa rosin, cinnamon Dentyne, McConaughascent(TM/Patent Pending) and Lincoln Backseat Leather you'll know you've arrived. Arrived at that special place that words simply can't describe: McConaughavannah.
Hhhheeeyyy is available in a line of home fragrance products. If you purchase the 50 ounce bottle of Hhhheeeyyy you will receive as Matthew's gift, a beautiful candle that will infuse your rooms with the indescribable odiferousness of Matthew.
The above product, although not officially from the Hhhheeeyyy line is available on Etsy.
*The makers of Hhhheeeyyy and Mr. McConaughey are not responsible for shark, dik-dik or orangutan attack. Hhhheeeyyy may induce hyperactivity in hamsters.
**also: any pronoun e.g.: watakushi
***Instruction book sold separately for legal reasons.
****Hhhheeeyyy may cause permanent underarm hair loss. Opposite results may also occur; sometimes simultaneously. Discontinuing use of Hhhheeeyyy, once started, is not recommended. Starting use of Hhhheeeyyy requires online tutorial and signature.*****
*****(Don't you hate asterisks that have no corresponding note?)
##1 ml. per oz. Your mileage may vary.
Note: This is a parody. Actually, I think I would enjoy sniffing Mr. McConaughey; if only to see what all the fuss is about. CR
*The makers of Hhhheeeyyy and Mr. McConaughey are not responsible for shark, dik-dik or orangutan attack. Hhhheeeyyy may induce hyperactivity in hamsters.
**also: any pronoun e.g.: watakushi
***Instruction book sold separately for legal reasons.
****Hhhheeeyyy may cause permanent underarm hair loss. Opposite results may also occur; sometimes simultaneously. Discontinuing use of Hhhheeeyyy, once started, is not recommended. Starting use of Hhhheeeyyy requires online tutorial and signature.*****
*****(Don't you hate asterisks that have no corresponding note?)
##1 ml. per oz. Your mileage may vary.
Note: This is a parody. Actually, I think I would enjoy sniffing Mr. McConaughey; if only to see what all the fuss is about. CR
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