CONTINUED:
MARLON
It's in the shop. I love your hair that way.
HONORIA
(Sheepishly, running her hand through her Sheena Eastonesque hair) Thanks. Will only take five years or so to get it back to where I had it; but we got the account.
MARLON
You could always wear a wig. Or get a weave. Or a schmatta--
Jurgin rushes up to them, carrying several suitcases and bags, etc.
JURGIN
Okay. I'm ready!
HONORIA
Jurgin's ready!
MARLON
He surely is. (Pulls car key from his pocket). So let me show you the car.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. PARKING GARAGE -DAY
CLOSE on the luggage in the trunk as Jurgin slams the hood down with a loud WHOMP.
MARLON
Let's not take the paint off, huh? I'm still paying for it.
JURGIN
Sorry.
MARLON
So who's driving?
HONORIA
I thought it was self-driving.
MARLON
It is; but someone still has to be in charge.
HONORIA
Well, Jurgin? Right? That way I can get some work done--
JURGIN
I don't know. The whole idea freaks me out. Haven't people blown up in these things, like the Pinto?
HONORIA
Are you talking about beans?
MARLON
Nobody's going to blow up.
MARLON
It's in the shop. I love your hair that way.
HONORIA
(Sheepishly, running her hand through her Sheena Eastonesque hair) Thanks. Will only take five years or so to get it back to where I had it; but we got the account.
MARLON
You could always wear a wig. Or get a weave. Or a schmatta--
Jurgin rushes up to them, carrying several suitcases and bags, etc.
JURGIN
Okay. I'm ready!
HONORIA
Jurgin's ready!
MARLON
He surely is. (Pulls car key from his pocket). So let me show you the car.
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. PARKING GARAGE -DAY
CLOSE on the luggage in the trunk as Jurgin slams the hood down with a loud WHOMP.
MARLON
Let's not take the paint off, huh? I'm still paying for it.
JURGIN
Sorry.
MARLON
So who's driving?
HONORIA
I thought it was self-driving.
MARLON
It is; but someone still has to be in charge.
HONORIA
Well, Jurgin? Right? That way I can get some work done--
JURGIN
I don't know. The whole idea freaks me out. Haven't people blown up in these things, like the Pinto?
HONORIA
Are you talking about beans?
MARLON
Nobody's going to blow up.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR -DAY
Marlon is in the driver's seat. Jurgin is in the front passenger seat and Honoria is in the back; already with spread out spreadsheets and her laptop open. Marlon presses the "ON" button and the car starts. The engine and a series of display panels that rise up from the dash and drop down from overhead. Mirrors adjust and so on. We hear a soothing MALE VOICE as a soundwave fluctuates in time with it on the display.
CAR VOICE
(In the VOICE of Douglas Rain as "Hal" from 2001) Good afternoon Marlon. I see we have guests.
JURGIN
Why does that voice sound so familiar?
MARLON
Hey Hal. We do. This is Jurgin and that's Ri-Ri in the back.
HAL
Hello Jurgin. Good afternoon Ri-ri. Is that short for Honoria?
HONORIA
Ah, yes. As a matter of fact, it is.
JURGIN
Oh Hell no! I am not driving a talking car named Hal!
MARLON
Well, he'll be driving. Hal, could you explain the interface, please.
HAL
Certainly Marlon. Who will be giving me commands?
MARLON
Both guests; but primarily Jurgin.
HAL
Very good. Jurgin, you only have to ask me a question or tell me what to do or where you want to go; and I'll do the rest.
JURGIN
We want to go to Vermont...
HAL
Where in Vermont? I could suggest some lovely places you might want to visit--
JURGIN
What's the name of the town?
HONORIA
Winooski Falls.
HAL
Birthplace of Maple Balls.
JURGIN
Excuse me?
MARLON
Hal, proceed to exit.
CUT TO:
INT. GARAGE -DAY
The car starts down the ramp and reaches the exit gate.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR -DAY
MARLON
Hal, please open the garage bay gate.
HAL
I'm afraid I can't do that Marlon.
Jurgin looks back and exchanges a fearful glance with Honoria.
INT. CAR -DAY
Marlon is in the driver's seat. Jurgin is in the front passenger seat and Honoria is in the back; already with spread out spreadsheets and her laptop open. Marlon presses the "ON" button and the car starts. The engine and a series of display panels that rise up from the dash and drop down from overhead. Mirrors adjust and so on. We hear a soothing MALE VOICE as a soundwave fluctuates in time with it on the display.
CAR VOICE
(In the VOICE of Douglas Rain as "Hal" from 2001) Good afternoon Marlon. I see we have guests.
JURGIN
Why does that voice sound so familiar?
MARLON
Hey Hal. We do. This is Jurgin and that's Ri-Ri in the back.
HAL
Hello Jurgin. Good afternoon Ri-ri. Is that short for Honoria?
HONORIA
Ah, yes. As a matter of fact, it is.
JURGIN
Oh Hell no! I am not driving a talking car named Hal!
MARLON
Well, he'll be driving. Hal, could you explain the interface, please.
HAL
Certainly Marlon. Who will be giving me commands?
MARLON
Both guests; but primarily Jurgin.
HAL
Very good. Jurgin, you only have to ask me a question or tell me what to do or where you want to go; and I'll do the rest.
JURGIN
We want to go to Vermont...
HAL
Where in Vermont? I could suggest some lovely places you might want to visit--
JURGIN
What's the name of the town?
HONORIA
Winooski Falls.
HAL
Birthplace of Maple Balls.
JURGIN
Excuse me?
MARLON
Hal, proceed to exit.
CUT TO:
INT. GARAGE -DAY
The car starts down the ramp and reaches the exit gate.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR -DAY
MARLON
Hal, please open the garage bay gate.
HAL
I'm afraid I can't do that Marlon.
Jurgin looks back and exchanges a fearful glance with Honoria.
Please see A HALLMARK X-MAS MOVIE PART 6 (CUMMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS) for the next installment!
CFR 3/31/24
CFR 3/31/24