HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay / Part 11

Okay, so Henry and Donna have broken up.  That seems like the end of something.  In Particular, Act 2.  So now, it's on to Act 3!  However, as I go on with this, I'm just going to continue to number the installments sequentially.  So, this is part 11...which kind of makes sense...Parts 1-10 would logically seem to be Acts 1 and 2 (with the first five parts, the 1st Act and the second five, Act 2; which would seem to align with Mr. Field's paradigm!).
So now, Henry is free to pursue Paddy; but does Paddy want to be pursued?  As far as he knows, Henry is still engaged to Donna.  However, his good friends are privy to his secrets and are not above playing match-makers; which makes sense, as we now have a character who is actually nick-named after Cupid.  I must say, this is shaping up in a rather Shakespearean manner, which, you can't ask for more than that?  Right?  Sidenote: My dad's first name is "Francis"; as is my middle name.  His sisters used to call him "Frannie," which is kind of feminine (but he never seemed to mind).  I always thought that was cute, so I'm going to have Kelly refer to Ick/Cupe/Francis, etc. as such.

FADE UP:
INT. KELLY'S BEDROOM -DAY
Kelly and Cupe are lying on Kelly's bed, listening to music: "I've Been Thinking About You" by Londonbeat. Kelly is absently playing with his hair.
KELLY
Frannie...?
CUPE
Are you talking to me?
KELLY
Of course!
CUPE
Why aren't you calling me Cupe?
KELLY
I'll call you what I like, and I like "Frannie."
CUPE
Suit yourself...
KELLY
Do you remember the conversation we overheard on the intercom?
CUPE
The one between Paddy and Danny Notlad?
KELLY
Yeah...
CUPE
The one we eavesdropped on?  That one?
KELLY
Hey, it wasn't our fault the button got stuck.
CUPE
That's what she said...what about it?
KELLY
Do you remember any of it? 
CUPE
Bits and pieces...something about worlds crashing and the Ritz hotel...and people in love...?
KELLY
Paddy and Henry are in love Frannie, and we've got to help them out!
CUPE
I'm all for it!  What do you have in mind?
KELLY
I'm gonna confront him.  Cut to the chase.  Tell him to get off his ass and go for it!  Life's too short!  All that bullshite!
CUPE
Go for it, baby bear!

Hey, I'm getting total Brokeback vibes with this video!  It's a sign!

There is a soft KNOCK on the door.
KELLY
Come in...
Sean pokes his head in the room.
SEAN
Can I talk to you for a minute?
KELLY
Absolutely, come in.
CUPE
Do you want some privacy?
SEAN
No, please stay.  I want your advice on this.
He enters the room, closes the door and sits on the bed.
KELLY
What is it?
SEAN
I'm really worried about Paddy.
KELLY
So are we!  We were just talking about--
SEAN
(Blurting)  He's gay!
KELLY
We've rather figured that out Sean--
SEAN
And he's in love with Henry Notlad!
KELLY
And Henry's in love with him...
SEAN
How do you know?
KELLY
We can't say...we don't want to get anyone in trouble.
SEAN
He can't sleep...he's not eating...he's been lying on the couch, staring at the telly for days--
CUPE
He's lovesick.
SEAN
What are we going to do?
KELLY
We've got to trap the two of them in tight quarters...I know!
CUPE
What?
KELLY
Henry doesn't have a car...your dad's been picking him up, right?  I mean, his driver--
CUPE
Yeah...
KELLY
Sean, does Paddy know anything about cars?
SEAN
About as much as he knows about brain surgery; why?
KELLY
We're gonna Sound of Music his arse!
CUPE
Yeeeaaaahhhhh...
SEAN
​What?  What is that?
KELLY
The movie with Julie Andrews...come on Sean, the musical?
SEAN
I know as much about musicals as I do about brain surgery...
KELLY
The nuns, sabotage the Nazi's car!
SEAN
They do?
KELLY
So, the Von Trapp family--
SEAN
Who are they?
KELLY
Just listen, will you?
She starts telling him the plot as we...
FADE OUT
FADE IN
EXT. STREET -MORNING
Paddy gets in his car, puts the key in the ignition and turns it.  The engine makes a grinding noise and won't start.
PADDY
Fook.
After several more attempts, Paddy takes out his phone and taps out a number.  We hear Sean on the other end.
SEAN
(O/S) Hullo?
PADDY
My goddamn car won't start and I can't take another day off.
SEAN
(O/S) I'll call Roddy...he has a fleet of cars.  Just get to work...I'll handle your voiture.
PADDY
Thanks brother...
SEAN
Have a cup of tea...catch up with Lorraine...
PADDY
​You're mad!

Let's talk about love scenes set inside motor vehicles!

It's a grand tradition of the cinema...getting busy in cars.  However, at least in mainstream movies, it's been almost the sole domain of heterosexual, shall we say, couplings.  At least one of my favorite movie scenes is the taxi scene from Dressed To Kill where Angie Dickinson is seduced by a tall, handsome stranger.  Actually, it's really part of a sequence (I can't find the entire clip online): the museum "cruising."  The taxi seduction.  And the "getting dressed" scene.  The "getting dressed" scene is one of my all time favorite movie scenes, period.  It just after her afternoon tryst and Angie gets out of bed in the pick-up's apartment and wanders around, finding her clothes and putting them on.  There's no dialogue; but for me, it really captures all the feelings of what it's like to have a random tryst.  I can't find that one either...but here's the beginning of the taxi scene:

The scene is both erotic and silly.  Her orgasmic cry at the end makes me laugh out loud every time I watch it?  Why?
Well, I recently found this out...it's not Angie Dickinson's voice but Rutanya Alda's.  The human eye and ear really sense things on deeper levels...which is why it always seemed slightly off to me.  Knowing that it's Carol Ann from Mommie Dearest makes it all the funnier.  
There's a scene in Carnal Intentions, a 2001 gay porn spoof of Cruel Intentions, in the back of limo with two men getting it on.  I can't post it here, of course--it is pornography--but I think it's as equally erotic as it is pornographic.  So, with our second love scene between our two leads, I wanted to up the game a little...a little more graphic (but not too)...a little more sensuous...but also kind of fun and maybe a little campy.  So, here's my idea:  Kelly, Cupe and Sean have sabotaged Paddy's car.  Cupe has Lathewaite, the Shannon's chauffeur, come in the Rolls Royce to pick up Paddy.  Of course, Henry is already in the car and Lathewaite, who's in on the plot, does everything he can to  make his two passengers "comfy."  Playing over this will be the Habanera from Bizet's Carmen.  We all know this song.  It's part of the fabric of modern civilization.  But do we all know what it's about?  I know I didn't when it popped into my head to play over this scene.  First of all, it's not in Italian; but French, the language of LOVE, n'est-ce-Pas?  And it's literally a song about LOVE.  Love as "a rebellious bird" that flies away when you want to catch it and lands on you when you don't.  It's about love and flying and quiet men...I mean, it could've been written specifically for this story.  Here is the famous aria with the words in both the French and in English:

SMASH CUT TO:
Paddy in his living room, sipping tea and watching the morning chatfest, Lorraine.  He looks at his watch.
CUT TO:
INT. ROLLS ROYCE -DAY
​LATHEWAITE the chauffer is driving slowly down Paddy's street. He is somewhere in indeterminate middle age, with a twinkle in his eye (think Robert Morley). He puts his phone to his ear. 
LATHEWAITE
We're approaching rendezvous spot now Sir...
CUPE
(V/O) Is the package ready for delivery?
LATHEWAITE
The package appears to be asleep sir...
He looks in the rearview mirror, where he sees Henry, his eyes closed, in the back.
CUPE
(V/O) Do that voo-doo you do so well Lathewaite...
LATHEWAITE
Very good sir.
CUT TO:
INT. PADDY'S LIVING ROOM -DAY
Paddy's phone RINGS and he grabs it.
PADDY
'Ello?
LATHEWAITE
(V/O) The car has arrived Mr. O'Riada.
PADDY
I'll be right down.
He snaps off the TV and grabs his gym bag.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET -DAY
LATHEWAITE
Good morning sir.  Let me put that bag in the back...
PADDY
'Morning...
Lathewaite takes the bag and opens the rear door of the car.  Paddy climbs in.
CUT TO:
INT. ROLLS ROYCE -DAY
Paddy, when he sees Henry, starts to retreat; but Lathewaite is already closing the door.  Paddy SIGHS and sits back.  Henry wakes up.
HENRY
Oh, hey...
PADDY
Hey.
HENRY
Long time no see...you were in my dream...
Henry is clearly still not completely conscious.  Paddy does not respond.
Lathewaite puts the trunk in the boot and gets behind the wheel.
LATHEWAITE
Perhaps you'd enjoy a little shuteye as well Mr. O'Riada...I'll give you some privacy...
PADDY
Really, it's--
But the partition, which is opaque, is already going up.  The lights dim.  Electric curtains slide into place on the windows.
Lathewaite's voice comes over an intercom.
LATHEWAITE
Would you care for some music sir?
PADDY
News would be good...
LATHEWAITE
Very good sir...
We hear an extremely British voice of the ANNOUNCER, low, over the scene.
ANNOUNCER
(V/O)...this is the BBC news...the Royal Family is preparing for...(blah, blah, blah)
Paddy and Henry ride along in silence.  Henry finally breaks it.
HENRY
We broke up.
PADDY
(Considers)  You did?
Henry removes the chain from his neck and dangles the engagement ring in front of Paddy.
​PADDY
I'm sorry about that...
HENRY
Are you?
PADDY
Truly...and that's not bullshite...
ANNOUNCER
(V/O) ...you're listening to the BBC Radio 3 and that was the news.  Next, we have the Habanera from Bizet's Carmen.
The familiar opening of the famous aria starts.  Henry puts the necklace around his neck and leans back and closes his eyes.  His hand is resting on the seat.  In tempo with the music, the following unfolds:
CLOSE on Paddy's hand, which he begins sliding over the seat, towards Henry's with nearly agonizing slowness.

We'll get back to our love scene in a minute; but first, I wanted to address something.
In Part 4 of this screenplay, I posted a clip of Pink Floyd singing "Grantchester Meadows."  I had discovered the song in my research and thought it would be perfect for the scene where Paddy and Cupe are lazily floating down a British river.  Recently, Roger Waters has become embroiled in a culture war of sorts: being accused of antisemitism and pro-fascism, particularly, the Nazis.  I'm not into cancel culture and I believe people are entitled to their opinions, free speech and artistic expression.
However, I want nothing to do with anyone who channels Nazi imagery under dubious rationalizing.  Mr. Waters could have got his "anti fascism" message across in a thousand other ways than bringing in the Nazi party.  Uhh-uh. 
So, I'm going to nix "Grantchester Meadows" and replace it with something else.  I was thinking of the famous love aria from Delibes Lakme; known as "The Flower Duet."  One of my favorite movies is "The Hunger" and in it, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve famously made out with that playing on the soundtrack.  It's become a bit cliche ever since, from overuse.  I do like the juxtaposition of hearing female voices while looking at very male men. It is a love song and it's literally about floating down a river:

We could bring back the Thomas Crown flying grid for this, as I would cut it much like a montage; but that might be one thing too many.  I will leave out all the "CUT TO"s this scene would necessitate.

CLOSE on Paddy's hand as it stops within millimeters of Henry's.
CLOSE on Henry's Adam's apple, which bobs as he swallows nervously.
CLOSE on Paddy's baby finger as it grazes Henry's baby finger.
Henry's eyelids flutter.
PADDY
I'm sorry about those things I said...
HENRY
I know you didn't mean them...
PADDY
I shouldn't have said them...
Their fingers intertwine. Then Henry puts his hand over Paddy's and raises the palm to his lips.  He gently kisses it.  Almost as though it's choreographed to the aria, on the line "Prends garde a toi" (which means, "you better watch out" more or less) Paddy swings himself to face Henry as he straddles Henry's bare legs (he's wearing shorts).  Paddy takes Henry's free hand and kisses it.  He continues kissing along the length of Henry's arm, yes, in the corny Continental style; which makes it all the hotter.  He continues over the shoulder with his kisses and up the neck until he reaches his own hand, which he pulls away and kisses Henry passionately on the lips.  The kiss becomes decidedly "French."  Henry pushes Paddy back and puts his hands on Paddy's thighs.  Paddy is wearing those ridiculous "tear away" sweat pants that have snaps along the length of them.  Henry pulls at them and one of the snaps POPS open.
CLOSE on Paddy's feet as his dangling flip-flops fall the the floor of the car.  More snaps pop open, revealing more of Paddy's legs.  Henry slides his hands inside the pants and starts sliding them towards Paddy's bathing suit area.  Paddy puts his hands on Henry's, stopping his progress.  Henry shrugs and pulls his hands back.  Paddy reaches up and grasps the zipper pull of his his hoodie and starts to slowly unzip it.  It finally falls open.  Paddy is wearing a tank top.  He grabs the hem of it and pulls the front over his head, hitching it behind his head, on his neck.  Henry reaches up to caress Paddy's flame tattoo.

Paddy's flames go all the way to the other nip...

HENRY
Light my fire...
He gets Paddy out of the hoodie and tank top.  Paddy raises his arms and touches the headliner.  Henry reaches up and traces his finger tips down Paddy's arms, his armpits, his nipples.  
HENRY
You're sweating...
PADDY
(LAUGHS) I'm nervous...
He pulls Henry's shirt up over Henry's head.  Henry smiles and reaches for the pants again.  We hear a series of POPS as the snaps undo; leaving Paddy in a skimpy pair of running shorts.  Henry swings Paddy back into his seat and leans down and quickly takes off his sneakers and socks.  Henry grabs Paddy by the ankles and pulls him into a reclining position on the bench seat.  Paddy is now looking up at Henry as Henry crouches above him.  Henry reaches down and touches Paddy's crotch.  Paddy does the same to Henry.
HENRY
Seems as though we have each other's attention...
He starts dry humping Paddy.  Although clearly enjoying it; Paddy grabs Henry's hips and stops him...
PADDY
Stop...
HENRY
What's wrong?
PADDY
I'd just like...anything further...to be in my bed...is that okay wit you?  Or your bed, of course.
HENRY
My bed is like three thousand miles away.  I like the sound of your bed.
PADDY
It does squeak a wee bit.  I mean, you're sure it's okay?  You could wait?
HENRY
Oh, baby...I have the patience of Rob...
PADDY
Don't you mean "Job"?
HENRY
No, Rob Manoogian, this kid I went to high school with.  He was wicked patient.
Paddy CHUCKLES and they kiss again as they recline in the literal lap of luxury.
CUT TO:
The Rolls pulling into the parking lot of the Lani-Batali HQ.

Who knew they had male stripper schools?

CUT TO:
INT. ROLLS -DAY
Lathewaite puts his phone to his ear.
LATHEWAITE
The packages have arrived Master Shannon...
CUPE
(V/O) Bring the car to the receiving dock, please...
LATHEWAITE
Very good sir.
CUT TO:
EXT. LOADING DOCK -DAY
The Rolls pulls along side the dock.
CUT TO:
INT. ROLLS -DAY
LATEWAITE
(Depressing intercom button) We arrived gentlemen...I'm lowering the partition now...
The partition lowers, but he doesn't see anything.  He tilts the rearview down and sees Paddy and Henry, wrapped around each other, fast asleep.
LATHEWAITE
Ahem...sirs...we're here...
There is no response.  He gets out of the car as Cupe comes through the exit door and clambers down to the pavement.
CUPE
Where are they?
LATHEWAITE
They're in the back sir.  I can't seem to rouse them.
Cupe opens the rear door where he sees two pairs of bare feet.  He climbs in.
CUT TO:
INT.  ROLLS -DAY
Cupe climbs on top the pair and wedges himself between them as they start to wake up.
CUPE
Can I get in on this?
He pulls their arms around him and SIGHS.  They proceed to tickle him, give him noogies, etc.  He CRIES out in pleasure and pain and LAUGHTER.
CUT TO:
INT. LANI-BATALI TRAINING FLOOR
Henry and Paddy, both looking like Ninjas in full black body stockings, are fighting with Tao sticks.  This time, they are both laser focused and it's all business.  But they're having a good time, too.  Henry swings the paddle end of the Tao stick at Paddy's ankles.  Paddy jumps, avoiding a take-down, does a mid-air flip and comes up behind Henry and takes him down with the same ankle maneuver.
PADDY
On your feet, grasshopper.
HENRY
You better watch out dad...
PADDY
You're only four years younger than me.
HENRY
But that's in cat years...
He spins the stick and the fight continues.  Nearby, Roddy, Cupe and Cal are watching.
RODDY
(To Cal) Well, taking that time off seems to have worked. They're getting on like china plates!  Paddy must've gotten a little happy valley over there in Dingle...
CUPE
Yeah Dad...that's what it was...
He winks at Cal who starts LAUGHING.  Roddy looks at him, puzzled.
RODDY
I think it's time to unveil this to the public...come on Cal...let's get this thing in the air!
Roddy strides off.  Cal wheels after him, spins, and mimes shooting an arrow and then taking it to the heart.  Cupe smiles as we...
FADE OUT

Please see HEARTFIGHT: A Screenplay / Part 12 for the next installment!
CFR  6/13/23