Hey, Hey, Hey Tina Fey-yay-yay!

Hey Tina, did you realize that your last name makes a rhyme with EVERY letter in the alphabet?  Well it does!
A: Tina Aey.  As in Tina...Aaaaaayyyyy! (You know, like the Fonz).
B: Tina Bey.  As in Tina Bae.  "You're my bae, Tina-bae."
C: Tina Cey. As in, "Tina Say what?"
D: Tina Dey.  Like Doris Day.  Tina Dey: America's Brunette Comedy Sweetheart.
E: Tina Eey.  Sort of an abrupt "yay!"  "Yay, Tina Yay!"
F: Tina Ffey.  Pronounced like "ph."  When you want to make your presence known.  "I'm Tina Phhhey!"
G: Tina Gey. That time you experimented in college
H: Tina Hey.  "Hey, Tina Hey!  Love your hair, hope you win.  Mean it!"
I:  Tina Iey.  Prounced "I-ay."  Almost like the street version of "all right."
J:  Tina Jey.  Works well in the South.  "...That's my time y'all! I'm Miss Tina Jey...'G-night!"
K: Tina Key.  Pronounced "Kay."  Like Mary Kay Cosmetics.  Can be used as a question: "...Tina, 'kay?"

L: Tina Ley  Like "lei," of course, the traditional Hawaiian floral necklace.  Insert joke here.
M: Tina Mey.  Tina May.  Another good one for the South.  "Hey y'all, I'm Tina May and this-a here is my parade float!"
N: Tina Ney.  Tina Nay.  "Tina, nay, this does not bode well for the Church Elders!"
O: Tina Oey.  Tina O-aye.  Sounds Hawaiian to me.  Insert joke here.
P: Tina Pey. Tina Pay.  "Tina Pay with American Express Centurion Card, Tarzan!"
Q: Tina Qey. Pronounced "Quay."  As in: "Dock the ship at Tina Quay, Cap'n!"
R: Tina Rey.  Tina Ray. From that time when you played the bass in a jazz quartet: The Tina Ray Three. Irony.
S: Tina Sey.  "Tina, Say it ain't so!"

T: Tina Tey. Tina Tay.  With a lisp: "Tina, tay it ain't tho!"
U: Tina Uey. Tina Ew-ay.  "Tina, you way over the top, girl!"
V: Tina Vey.  German accent: "Teena hess veys of making you talk..."
W: Tina Wey. Tina Way.  It's a charming little cul-de-sac off of Laurel Canyon.  Where Tina writes folk songs. For her                               jazz quartet. Double irony.
X: Tina Xey.  Pronounced "Ex-ay."  In Pig Latin.  "Tina ex-ayed the etch-skay."
Y: Tina Yey.  This one is a full on "Yay!" like they teach you at cheerleading camp.
​Z: Tina Zey.  Pronounced "Zay." German accent: "Teena, zay...vhat veys do you have of making people talk?"  Tina: "I                             play the bass violin for them."

Clearly, I have too much time on my hands.
Be that as it may, I press on, Tina.  Since your name also rhymes with "Rose" (as in the wine); I think you should do a collab with the fine folks at Mateus Rose Wine and bring back the jingle "Hey, Hey, Hey....Mateus Rose."  Only now, it would include your name in a longer verision, pehaps: "Hey, Hey, Hey...it's Tina Feyyyy...sippin' Portuguese wine throughout the day...hey, hey, Mateus Rose!" or some such.  Just picture yourself in this commercial Tina!

Okay, I'm done now.