Hey Tina, did you realize that your last name makes a rhyme with EVERY letter in the alphabet? Well it does!
A: Tina Aey. As in Tina...Aaaaaayyyyy! (You know, like the Fonz).
B: Tina Bey. As in Tina Bae. "You're my bae, Tina-bae."
C: Tina Cey. As in, "Tina Say what?"
D: Tina Dey. Like Doris Day. Tina Dey: America's Brunette Comedy Sweetheart.
E: Tina Eey. Sort of an abrupt "yay!" "Yay, Tina Yay!"
F: Tina Ffey. Pronounced like "ph." When you want to make your presence known. "I'm Tina Phhhey!"
G: Tina Gey. That time you experimented in college
H: Tina Hey. "Hey, Tina Hey! Love your hair, hope you win. Mean it!"
I: Tina Iey. Prounced "I-ay." Almost like the street version of "all right."
J: Tina Jey. Works well in the South. "...That's my time y'all! I'm Miss Tina Jey...'G-night!"
K: Tina Key. Pronounced "Kay." Like Mary Kay Cosmetics. Can be used as a question: "...Tina, 'kay?"
A: Tina Aey. As in Tina...Aaaaaayyyyy! (You know, like the Fonz).
B: Tina Bey. As in Tina Bae. "You're my bae, Tina-bae."
C: Tina Cey. As in, "Tina Say what?"
D: Tina Dey. Like Doris Day. Tina Dey: America's Brunette Comedy Sweetheart.
E: Tina Eey. Sort of an abrupt "yay!" "Yay, Tina Yay!"
F: Tina Ffey. Pronounced like "ph." When you want to make your presence known. "I'm Tina Phhhey!"
G: Tina Gey. That time you experimented in college
H: Tina Hey. "Hey, Tina Hey! Love your hair, hope you win. Mean it!"
I: Tina Iey. Prounced "I-ay." Almost like the street version of "all right."
J: Tina Jey. Works well in the South. "...That's my time y'all! I'm Miss Tina Jey...'G-night!"
K: Tina Key. Pronounced "Kay." Like Mary Kay Cosmetics. Can be used as a question: "...Tina, 'kay?"
L: Tina Ley Like "lei," of course, the traditional Hawaiian floral necklace. Insert joke here.
M: Tina Mey. Tina May. Another good one for the South. "Hey y'all, I'm Tina May and this-a here is my parade float!"
N: Tina Ney. Tina Nay. "Tina, nay, this does not bode well for the Church Elders!"
O: Tina Oey. Tina O-aye. Sounds Hawaiian to me. Insert joke here.
P: Tina Pey. Tina Pay. "Tina Pay with American Express Centurion Card, Tarzan!"
Q: Tina Qey. Pronounced "Quay." As in: "Dock the ship at Tina Quay, Cap'n!"
R: Tina Rey. Tina Ray. From that time when you played the bass in a jazz quartet: The Tina Ray Three. Irony.
S: Tina Sey. "Tina, Say it ain't so!"
M: Tina Mey. Tina May. Another good one for the South. "Hey y'all, I'm Tina May and this-a here is my parade float!"
N: Tina Ney. Tina Nay. "Tina, nay, this does not bode well for the Church Elders!"
O: Tina Oey. Tina O-aye. Sounds Hawaiian to me. Insert joke here.
P: Tina Pey. Tina Pay. "Tina Pay with American Express Centurion Card, Tarzan!"
Q: Tina Qey. Pronounced "Quay." As in: "Dock the ship at Tina Quay, Cap'n!"
R: Tina Rey. Tina Ray. From that time when you played the bass in a jazz quartet: The Tina Ray Three. Irony.
S: Tina Sey. "Tina, Say it ain't so!"
T: Tina Tey. Tina Tay. With a lisp: "Tina, tay it ain't tho!"
U: Tina Uey. Tina Ew-ay. "Tina, you way over the top, girl!"
V: Tina Vey. German accent: "Teena hess veys of making you talk..."
W: Tina Wey. Tina Way. It's a charming little cul-de-sac off of Laurel Canyon. Where Tina writes folk songs. For her jazz quartet. Double irony.
X: Tina Xey. Pronounced "Ex-ay." In Pig Latin. "Tina ex-ayed the etch-skay."
Y: Tina Yey. This one is a full on "Yay!" like they teach you at cheerleading camp.
Z: Tina Zey. Pronounced "Zay." German accent: "Teena, zay...vhat veys do you have of making people talk?" Tina: "I play the bass violin for them."
U: Tina Uey. Tina Ew-ay. "Tina, you way over the top, girl!"
V: Tina Vey. German accent: "Teena hess veys of making you talk..."
W: Tina Wey. Tina Way. It's a charming little cul-de-sac off of Laurel Canyon. Where Tina writes folk songs. For her jazz quartet. Double irony.
X: Tina Xey. Pronounced "Ex-ay." In Pig Latin. "Tina ex-ayed the etch-skay."
Y: Tina Yey. This one is a full on "Yay!" like they teach you at cheerleading camp.
Z: Tina Zey. Pronounced "Zay." German accent: "Teena, zay...vhat veys do you have of making people talk?" Tina: "I play the bass violin for them."
Clearly, I have too much time on my hands.
Be that as it may, I press on, Tina. Since your name also rhymes with "Rose" (as in the wine); I think you should do a collab with the fine folks at Mateus Rose Wine and bring back the jingle "Hey, Hey, Hey....Mateus Rose." Only now, it would include your name in a longer verision, pehaps: "Hey, Hey, Hey...it's Tina Feyyyy...sippin' Portuguese wine throughout the day...hey, hey, Mateus Rose!" or some such. Just picture yourself in this commercial Tina!
Be that as it may, I press on, Tina. Since your name also rhymes with "Rose" (as in the wine); I think you should do a collab with the fine folks at Mateus Rose Wine and bring back the jingle "Hey, Hey, Hey....Mateus Rose." Only now, it would include your name in a longer verision, pehaps: "Hey, Hey, Hey...it's Tina Feyyyy...sippin' Portuguese wine throughout the day...hey, hey, Mateus Rose!" or some such. Just picture yourself in this commercial Tina!
Okay, I'm done now.