Massholes, Potato Heads and Yawh Cuzin' from Bawstin

The above image is not just the logo of the University of Notre Dame Football.  It is a deeply ingrained cultural icon.  I am not from South Euclid, Ohio. I am not from South Bend, Indiana (although I have driven through both states). I did not attend the school. Nor, does it seem, I know where the school is actually located.  I did not know that "notre dame" means "our lady" in French until today (how did half a century go by without me knowing that?).  I did not know that the university's full name was "L'Universite de Notre Dame du Lac."  I did not know that in English that name translates to The University of Our Lady of the Lake.  I did know that "the Lady of the Lake" was from the legend of King Arthur.  I do know that I'm now a little confused.

So why does a school with a French name in either Indiana or Ohio have a team called "The Fighting Irish" and a logo of a bellicose leprechaun.  The school was founded by French men.  Why isn't the logo of Quasimodo?  He's from literature.  He certainly had a tenacious spirit.  He'd been in the popular culture for a good twenty years before the school was founded.

Or how about The Lady of the Lac?  She was a fighter.  I mean, the lady carried a sword!

But I digress.  The question I need to ask myself is, do I, as an Irish person, find the Notre Dame logo offensive?  I'd have to first ask me if I find this guy offensive:

The answer is no.  Lucky the Leprechaun has been providing children in America (and perhaps the world) with early morning marshmallow joy since 1964!  His adorable pre-sweetened antics have charmed generations of kids and taught them about the perils of thievery and the pleasures of sharing. He's also a quintessential leprechaun, which means he's kind of a jerk.  He taunts kids with his bowlfuls of sugared coated oats.  It is only when they take aggressive measures do they get the cereal.  Oh, it's all magically delicious fun.  Everybody loves leprechauns.
However, after doing a modicum of research, it's pretty clear that although the Notre Dame mascot is wearing a cute little green outfit, he's not a leprechaun.  His official name is Clashmore Mike.  Now, if you had asked me earlier today if I found him in the least bit offensive I would've given an unequivocal "no."  But that research I did uncovered a hitherto unknown to me historical era when the Irish were being depicted as sub-human:

These depictions of the Irish as monkeys and apes was, of course, to dehumanize them.  If the Irish weren't completely human; animals--then it was easier to treat them like animals.  Of course, this was done more commonly to the black races for the same reasons.  But I had no idea about this history (I'm a bit ashamed of my lack of knowledge on Irish history.  I'm going to start amending that).  So, when I look at Clashmore Mike, I can't help but compare him to the caricature seen above.  They even have the same hair patterns.  The fellow above has a club under his arm (a shillelagh?).  He's clearly ready for a fight.  That was the other thing about these depictions.  The "fighting spirit" of the Irish was less scrappiness​ than it was mindless, ignorant, blood-thirsty violence.  Violence for violence's sake.  So, reexamining Notre Dame's logo, I'd have to say, yes.  Yes, it is offensive.  Does it offend me to the point of distraction?  No.  I'm Irish.  We have a sense of humor. I find it laughable that the British establishment of the 19th century attempted to belittle us that way.  Sorry, we have some of the greatest story-tellers in the history of the world.  And sorry Britain; but Shakespeare was more often than not, boring as "F." 

Of course, growing up outside of Boston, I was always seeing this guy.  He's sort of the primordial "Masshole."  What's a Masshole you ask?  Masshole is a phrase coined by my husband (and I've heard others use it too) to describe residents of the Bay State.  If you were born in Massachusetts, you are automatically a Masshole (this includes myself, so I can use the word).  If you reside in the state but weren't born there, you are an honorary Masshole.  Even if you are a nice person and you either come from/live in/vacation there: you are a Masshole.  One of the most distinguishing characteristics of the Masshole is their sense of entitlement while driving.  Every Masshole thinks they own the road they are currently motoring on.  To see the Masshole in its natural environment, I suggest traversing Route 1 through Saugus at about 5pm on a Friday.  This is advanced Masshole watching.  You take your life into your own hands.  If you like to live on the edge, try exiting and then reentering Route 1 on its severely overtaxed ramps.  Good luck to you!
The other, more overarching trait of the Masshole (particularly of those born there) is that we think we're better than everyone else.  I was going to say, "just a little bit better" but then figured I wouldn't downplay it.  There are lots of celebrity Massholes!  Some good examples: Denis Leary, Bill Burr, Conan O'Brien, Amy Poehler.  Everyone in that "Smaht Pahk" Hyundai commercial.  

John, Rachel and Chris are all nice Massholes (well, they seem nice); but they're still Massholes.  Although why they were in a commercial for a self-parking car is a bit mystifying.  If Bostonians pride themselves on anything, it's their ability to wedge a land barge into the tiniest of spaces with zero assistance from anyone.  Particularly, another Masshole.

Some late night TV pundits are getting hot under the collar that the conservative right has gotten hot under the collar regarding the "cancellation" of things like racist images in Dr. Seuss, questionable material from the old Muppet Show, Pepe LePew's sexual predatoriness and Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head's non-gender neutrality.  I'd call myself a moderate liberal, if pressed; so I can't say I disagree with the right.  The only thing that actually got cancelled from The Muppet Show is a couple of episodes for reasons other than stereotyping.  One of the episodes, I just learned, was the one starring Brooke Shields.  I don't recall having seen it back in the day (I can't believe I missed, since it combined my love of Brooke, The Muppet Show and Alice in Wonderland); and apparently I can't see it now in the day.  That to me is an outrage!!!  And I just heard that Brooke recently broke her leg.  I can't read the article.  It is literally too painful for me to imagine her in pain (I think I have a crush).  Yeah, the Dr. Seuss stuff needs to go, no question.  I do have a problem with Pepe's scene being cut from the Space Jam project.  The whole point of the scene is that Pepe gets his #timesup comeuppance by having his ass whipped by a lady who is not so timid about resisting his unwanted advances.  Why cut it?  I'd actually pay the full ticket price to see that scene.  As a kid I was creeped out by Pepe's creeper scenes.  It would be great to see him finally have to answer for his behavior.  A hard "no."  I think it could have been a "healing moment" for everyone; but no...
So, as far as the Potato Heads go, sure.  Remove the gender signifiers.  Just call them Potato Heads or Potato People.  Throw all the pieces in one bag and let 'em rip.  Maybe Hasbro could do a Ru-Paul's Drag Race tie-in. Let's call it The RuPaul's Drag Race Potato Person.  I'd love to see the right's collective head explode over that.
Looking at Mr. Potato head, I can't help but think of Clashmore Mike and Lucky.  In his official outfit on the cover of the box, he's wearing green.  He has a pipe and a bowler hat.  Is he supposed to be Irish?  I mean, we really can't escape that association, can we?  In fact, when he was first marketed, children needed actual potatoes to play with him (you stuck the spiked pieces into the potato). When he was pitched to toy companies by his inventor, George Lerner, most turned him down because they feared the toy would be controversial and rejected by consumers.  Why?  Well because The Great Depression and the food rationing of WWII was still fresh in people's minds and the fear was that Mr. P. would be found wasteful.*  My problem as a child would've been the idea of playing with a vegetable that leaked juice, grew sprouts and had a reputation for blight.  No thanks.   
But the real problem I have with the Potato Heads is that disturbing Lay's Potato Chips commercial they did a few years ago.  Remember it?  It portrayed them as cannibals, guiltily eating the chips made of the flesh of their own people.  WTF was that about?  I'm still queasy over that one.  It's unnerving on so many levels.  They should burn the negative.
*Tim Walsh / The Playmakers

So, how about a stereotype that combines the Masshole, the drunken Irishman, potato headedness and the ill-bred working-class boor?  I give you "Your Cousin from Boston," from the fine folks at Samuel Adams Brewery:

Now, I find this ad campaign troubling on many levels.  Apparently it's been extremely successful for the beer-makers.  Their over-priced suds are flying out of packies everywhere.  Well, maybe not the packies.  The people who buy Samuel Adams beer are not the sort of demographic that would procure their imbibements at a "packie."  A six pack of Sam Adams averages about ten bucks a pop.  And that's at freakin' Wahlmaht!  Cripes, you can get a frickin' thirty pack of Natty LItes for twenny bucks. Ah you fahkin kiddin' me? 
Which is exactly what our unnamed cousin would do.  It's clear he has a drinking problem.  I mean, he brings a six pack with him wherever he goes.  He's drinkin' ta get a freakin' buzz on; not because he enjoys savoring the notes of friggin' Ocktobahfest.  Do I have a problem with this ad campaign?  Yes, I do; although I do find it amusing.  I mean, I can deal with the Irish drunk part, ironically.  What I don't like is the condescension towards working class people to sell beer to rich people.  It's...what is it...?  It's disingenuous.  The actor who plays our cousin from Boston is named Gregory Hoyt.  He grew up in Amesbury, MA (so at least he's a real Masshole).  Apparently, Sam Adams decided to double down on this stereotype (and it's a stereotype I know that most Massholes love, I mean, even when we're drunk slackers, we're still better than everyone else) by having a "satirical" Sam Adams commercial embedded into Saturday Night Live: 

This version is far more truthful.  Burr is playing a flat out alcoholic with a violent streak.  He's half Irish.  Sam Adams should cast him as "Your Uncle From Boston."  They'd be selling their product by the keg.  And selling stereotypes.  I mean come on.  It's 20-freakin'-21.  They can't do bettah than this?