DEAR MISS WHIFFINGTON:
I was planning on having an Insurrection Day Lucheon this past January 6th; but as I couldn't decide on a menu or decorations or who to invite, it didn't happen. Was I remiss with my pre-planning? Could you give me some tips for next year, to insure that my party storms the Capitol, metaphorically speaking?
---Patriotic Partier
My darling Patriot:
I think you want the word "ensure" here. If our democracy lacks anything, it's insurance. Liberty Mutual, sadly, does not offer any policies insuring that fascism in our great land will not ensure; if I may take some liberties with the language. I am usually on board with ALL au courant fads, as long as they are pursuits of the somewhat mindless variety. However, I am not sure how to interpret these Insurrection soirees that have lately been popping up on January 6th. Something tells me this is the work of wags of an ironic bent. And bent, in general (you know who you are, ladies!). I am a supporter of all things sardonic. That being said, some things simply cannot be made light of; or we might find ourselves laughing all the way to the concentration camp. Contraiwise, humor always alleviates tension; and if done correctly, can bring attention to otherewise serious topics we may not want to admit exist. Does making light of Civil Unrest and looming political disaster have any affect (or effect) on the possible outcome? Or is it more a case of whistling by the graveyard? I don't know. But, I am never one to pooh-pooh a party of any kind. So, if I were you...
I would examine my strategy for next years' party, assuming there is a next year. Yes dear Patriot, I'm afraid you were remiss. A successful party requires scads of malice aforethought, particularly the guest list. RSVPing is crucial as well. There is nothing worse than putting the grist to the mill and the alpacas don't return to Capistrano! I have left more than one party to spare the hostess my witness to her folie a deux not to mention her pas de deux! Once the promises to attend are secured the menu would be next. I would think whimsical savories the order of the day. The only thing coming to mind is a cake, a favorite, of course of those who prefer to guild their lillies ad infinitum. In this case, I would take l'orange to the extreme. Imagine if you will, a cake in the shape of a certain 45's pugnacious puss. It's carrot, natch, with hair, perhaps constructed of what I'm told is sold as "Flamin' Hot Cheetos"; which have, for some reason which fails to interest me, become de rigueur for faddish desserts. You might even have one of those startling edible photograph cakes made of Msr. tRumps visage. Then, I would suggest dousing the entirety in Grand Marnier and setting it a-flambe. You could both burn down the House and Eat the Rich in one fell swoop.
As for the other events at your future shinn-dig (music, decor, dance steps, etc.); I'm afraid you're on your own. I think my ambiguity about this undertaking prohibits any further dissertation.
But please, dear Patriot; always remember: Prior Planning Prevents Pissoir Performance. I learned that from my darling Pere, Col. PF Whiffington, USMC.
Ciao for Now!
C.P. Whiffington
I was planning on having an Insurrection Day Lucheon this past January 6th; but as I couldn't decide on a menu or decorations or who to invite, it didn't happen. Was I remiss with my pre-planning? Could you give me some tips for next year, to insure that my party storms the Capitol, metaphorically speaking?
---Patriotic Partier
My darling Patriot:
I think you want the word "ensure" here. If our democracy lacks anything, it's insurance. Liberty Mutual, sadly, does not offer any policies insuring that fascism in our great land will not ensure; if I may take some liberties with the language. I am usually on board with ALL au courant fads, as long as they are pursuits of the somewhat mindless variety. However, I am not sure how to interpret these Insurrection soirees that have lately been popping up on January 6th. Something tells me this is the work of wags of an ironic bent. And bent, in general (you know who you are, ladies!). I am a supporter of all things sardonic. That being said, some things simply cannot be made light of; or we might find ourselves laughing all the way to the concentration camp. Contraiwise, humor always alleviates tension; and if done correctly, can bring attention to otherewise serious topics we may not want to admit exist. Does making light of Civil Unrest and looming political disaster have any affect (or effect) on the possible outcome? Or is it more a case of whistling by the graveyard? I don't know. But, I am never one to pooh-pooh a party of any kind. So, if I were you...
I would examine my strategy for next years' party, assuming there is a next year. Yes dear Patriot, I'm afraid you were remiss. A successful party requires scads of malice aforethought, particularly the guest list. RSVPing is crucial as well. There is nothing worse than putting the grist to the mill and the alpacas don't return to Capistrano! I have left more than one party to spare the hostess my witness to her folie a deux not to mention her pas de deux! Once the promises to attend are secured the menu would be next. I would think whimsical savories the order of the day. The only thing coming to mind is a cake, a favorite, of course of those who prefer to guild their lillies ad infinitum. In this case, I would take l'orange to the extreme. Imagine if you will, a cake in the shape of a certain 45's pugnacious puss. It's carrot, natch, with hair, perhaps constructed of what I'm told is sold as "Flamin' Hot Cheetos"; which have, for some reason which fails to interest me, become de rigueur for faddish desserts. You might even have one of those startling edible photograph cakes made of Msr. tRumps visage. Then, I would suggest dousing the entirety in Grand Marnier and setting it a-flambe. You could both burn down the House and Eat the Rich in one fell swoop.
As for the other events at your future shinn-dig (music, decor, dance steps, etc.); I'm afraid you're on your own. I think my ambiguity about this undertaking prohibits any further dissertation.
But please, dear Patriot; always remember: Prior Planning Prevents Pissoir Performance. I learned that from my darling Pere, Col. PF Whiffington, USMC.
Ciao for Now!
C.P. Whiffington
CP Whiffington 1/16/244