Mattie...Are You a...Zattie?

Are you a Zaddy trapped in the body of a Daddy?  Didn't you play a caddy once?  No, but you played a golfer.  HAL 9000 just informed me of that.  I call my computer HAL; and he's become one real nosey parker!  He's always informing me of unsolicited informational nuggets re: you, Matt.  I mean, if I happen to be reading or writing about you or "borrowing" your I/P for fan-fiction screenplays about Will Hunting.   Hal told me you trained your ass off to learn golf for that golfing movie.  Did you get in any mini-golf, you know, for the finessing part of your performance as a golfer?  And if you did, did you ever get in some putt-putt practice at Route 1 Mini-Golf in Saugus?  I mean, it would've made sense, as it was mere minutes from Cambridge and probably the closest mini-golf course to you in 1999, when you probably would've been doing this.  Or maybe you had been to Route 1 Mini-golf in your youth?

I mean, if you ever travelled North on Route 1 in Massachusetts from the early 60's until about 2016, which I can't imagine you never did, Matt; you would've seen the orange dinosaur in his original perch.  He was the first thing you saw when you entered or left Saugus at it's southern border.  He remains and still reigns!  In fact, he's become a symbol of the town; even more so than The Saugus Iron Works, which was established in 1620 or so; making Saugus one of the oldest established towns in the nation! Yippee!  Yay for Saugus!  A good ten years before Cambridge.  How do you like thos ye olde aeppels?  The Iron Works even got the Disney treatment!  Check out the 7.50 mark:

The town tries to lay claim to the steel industry, via the iron angle.  Saugus! The Birthplace of Steel, the signs proclaim.  But really, I think the signs should say: Saugus!  The Birthplace of​ Wonder Woman!  The guy who created her was born in Saugus.  William Moulton Marston.

But back to golf.  Or should we say caddies.  Or cads.  You've definitely played a few of these; often in revealing swimwear.

And sometimes, even no swimwear!

You know, I've never seen either of those movies, either.  But in the case of School Ties, I feel that I just watched the one scene I really needed too.  You know, in order to get the gist of it.  And I have a lot of questions. Like, did shampoo come in tubes in 1959.  Let's ask Hal.  Okay, I guess they did.  Somebody on School Ties was doing their homework.

But would boy jocks at a prep school use Prell?  And I'm getting off track.  Again.  This is supposed to be a blog about where you fit on The Kinsey Sliding Scale of Pop Sexuality, Mr. Damon.  So let's get back to it!  In a minute. Please be aware that I am prone to go off on tangents; but I hope you'll find the tangential stuff interesting as well.  I was wondering why I never saw School Ties, since it was a Paramount picture and I vividly recall being stared at by Brendan Fraser.  Not in person; but in the form of a gigantic cardboard standee of Mr. Fraser pensively gazing out the window of a car.  This standee was in an office at Paramount where I was assigned some, let's just say, "light typing and filing."  Mr. Fraser's head must've been about five feet tall:

So, I started working at Paramount in June of 1993.  School Ties had come out in September of 1992.  That tracks.  But why was the giant cardboard Brendan Fraser still in that office?  Did someone have a little crush?  Did you have a little crush Matt?  I mean Brendan is a Sagittarius.  How could you not have?  It was an early film for both of you; which brings us back to some of the questions I have about the "shower fight scene," the cardboard standee and the movie in general.
1. There is a group of young men reflected in the car window in the artwork.  Were you in this group, because I can't make you out.  Was there a dedicated photo shoot to capture that image for the reflection; or did they just pull a frame from the movie and use that?
2. Hal just informed me that the movie was mostly filmed on location in Massachusetts.  In particular, Concord, which also is mere minutes from Cambridge, your hometown.  Well, a little under an hour.  Did you stay with your family during filming or did you take advantage (I know I would've) of the studio's responsibility to house you during production.  And if so, did you share a hotel with Brendan?  Or a room maybe?
3. How long did it take to film the shower scene?  I'm guessing several days.  Perhaps a week.  Did you have to sign some kind of nudity waiver?
4. How nude were you?  Were you supplied with a "modesty sock"?  Also known as a "vanity sock." And I'm guessing a "c**k sock" as the set was overrun with mischievious young men?  Did you get tired of trying to keep the willie warmer on your person as I would imagine it probably got sopping wet pretty quick, since it was a shower scene?  Did you all just finally throw your c**k socks to the wind and get on with filming the scene, even though careful camera angles and placements were used so as not to get any male-junk on screen?
5. If this was shot over several days (or at least one) what happened when it was lunchtime?  Did you all just go to a Naked Lunch?  Bath towels?  Robes?  Did you have to go back to hair and make-up?  I think about these things.

6.  Do you remember what you had for lunch on any of the days you were filming this scene?  I recall craft service meals, at least in Los Angeles, often featured bean dishes.  Bean salads.  A lot of bean burritos.  Just beans in general.  Perhaps the caterers on the set of School Ties served Boston baked beans, as you were in the Bay State.  Did this cause any farting during the shower scene when you returned to the set.  I would imagine mischievious young men would, perhaps, intentionally eat beans; because, you know, boys will be boys.
7. Did you worry about "shrinkage" whilst filming?
8. Did you visit Walden pond during the shoot?
9. Did you visit Nathaniel Hawthorne's house, which is in Concord?
10. Are you still in touch with any of the other guys in this scene?
11. Why does your character, who is clearly something of a churl, recite such a rambling and clunky anti-Semitic joke?  Also, as they are all naked and have clear views (despite all the steam) of one another's junk; why is the joke not of the circumcision variety?  It seems like it wants to be; but it's not.
12. Was/is Brendan Fraser, who has Canadian parents, uncircumcised (or should we use not circumcised, because "uncircumcised" implies one should be circumcised; because I think the Candians don't really go in for it on a national level? I could be wrong.  So, if Brendan was playing a Jewish guy and he was not circumcised; did this create any sort of "acting challenge" for you?
13. Did any of you, if you had to pee, just pee, as you were in a shower anyways?
14. Do you dislike ending strings of questions on the number 13 and ask one more, even if it has no bearing on what's preceded it?

Walden Pond, Concord Massachusetts

I've kind of completely gotteen away from the Zaddy questions.  But this was getting kind of long (that's what she said!); so please see, Matty, Are You A Zaddy: Part 2 for the continuation.

CFR    5/2/244