Okay, this one is a no-brainer. Ryan Gosling in a Ken-doll themed sketch. But first, a few thoughts on the above commercial:
1. I know I can't leave the house until my ruffle is just right.
2. What's going on with all the smooth, reflective, mirror-like surfaces here? All I can think of is cocaine. Was this intentional?
3. What's going on with Ken's crotch in that last shot? Was that intentional?
4. I have that chromium floor lamp and you need to get giant light bulbs for it. Do they still make them?
5. Did they steal the "Georgy Girl" song?
This sketch could be done as a period piece. Late 50's perhaps, in Black and White? Or mid-70's?
FADE IN ON:
INT. LIVING ROOM -DAY
It's Christmas Day. We're in a charmingly appointed suburban living room in the home of a typical American family on Christmas morning. There's MOM and DAD and their kids: LITTLE GIRL and LITTLE BOY. Little Girl is playing with an 11 and a half inch female fashion doll. Little Boy is playing with an 11 and a half inch male military doll. Wrapping paper is strewn about as Mom and Dad, in picture perfect Christmas PJs sip coffee and nibble pastries.
1. I know I can't leave the house until my ruffle is just right.
2. What's going on with all the smooth, reflective, mirror-like surfaces here? All I can think of is cocaine. Was this intentional?
3. What's going on with Ken's crotch in that last shot? Was that intentional?
4. I have that chromium floor lamp and you need to get giant light bulbs for it. Do they still make them?
5. Did they steal the "Georgy Girl" song?
This sketch could be done as a period piece. Late 50's perhaps, in Black and White? Or mid-70's?
FADE IN ON:
INT. LIVING ROOM -DAY
It's Christmas Day. We're in a charmingly appointed suburban living room in the home of a typical American family on Christmas morning. There's MOM and DAD and their kids: LITTLE GIRL and LITTLE BOY. Little Girl is playing with an 11 and a half inch female fashion doll. Little Boy is playing with an 11 and a half inch male military doll. Wrapping paper is strewn about as Mom and Dad, in picture perfect Christmas PJs sip coffee and nibble pastries.
LITTLE GIRL
I love my new teen-age fashion model doll that Santa brought me! She's so pretty!
LITTLE BOY
And I love my military man action figure! He's so butch!
MOM
(To Dad, not quite convincingly) And I love my new air fryer...
DAD
(To Mom) And I adore my new cuff links!
The CAMERA zooms in on their faces as they try to disguise their disappointment. A SPOKESMAN steps out from behind the Christmas tree and addresses the camera.
SPOKESMAN
How many times has this happened to you? Santa's gone and the kids got they wanted; but what about you Mom? Did you really get what you wanted? Don't you wish you could find that childlike joy of receiving the toy of your dreams now, as a grownup? Well, now you can! With the new six and half foot action figure for Mom: He's "Len" and he's from LeTtam, so you know he's "wham, bam!" There is a KNOCK at the door. The Spokesman sits in a chair and observes.
LITTLE BOY
Who are you?
Mom goes to the door and opens it. A DELIVERY MAN is there with a clipboard.
DELIVERY MAN
Delivery for Mom. Sign here please.
MOM
What on Earth?
The Delivery Man wheels in a seven foot tall box, wrapped in Christmas paper, tips his hat and leaves.
LITTLE GIRL
What is it Mommy?
MOM
I don't know. The card says it's from a "friend."
DAD
Well open it honey!
Mom rips the paper off and reveals a large box with a cellophane front panel. It says LEN in fanciful script and on the other side of the plastic is a six foot, five inch figure of a man. Strikingly handsome, with a crew-cut, his face is fixed in a demure smile. He's wearing bathing trunks and a matching beach jacket. On the side of the box it says: "I talk!"
I love my new teen-age fashion model doll that Santa brought me! She's so pretty!
LITTLE BOY
And I love my military man action figure! He's so butch!
MOM
(To Dad, not quite convincingly) And I love my new air fryer...
DAD
(To Mom) And I adore my new cuff links!
The CAMERA zooms in on their faces as they try to disguise their disappointment. A SPOKESMAN steps out from behind the Christmas tree and addresses the camera.
SPOKESMAN
How many times has this happened to you? Santa's gone and the kids got they wanted; but what about you Mom? Did you really get what you wanted? Don't you wish you could find that childlike joy of receiving the toy of your dreams now, as a grownup? Well, now you can! With the new six and half foot action figure for Mom: He's "Len" and he's from LeTtam, so you know he's "wham, bam!" There is a KNOCK at the door. The Spokesman sits in a chair and observes.
LITTLE BOY
Who are you?
Mom goes to the door and opens it. A DELIVERY MAN is there with a clipboard.
DELIVERY MAN
Delivery for Mom. Sign here please.
MOM
What on Earth?
The Delivery Man wheels in a seven foot tall box, wrapped in Christmas paper, tips his hat and leaves.
LITTLE GIRL
What is it Mommy?
MOM
I don't know. The card says it's from a "friend."
DAD
Well open it honey!
Mom rips the paper off and reveals a large box with a cellophane front panel. It says LEN in fanciful script and on the other side of the plastic is a six foot, five inch figure of a man. Strikingly handsome, with a crew-cut, his face is fixed in a demure smile. He's wearing bathing trunks and a matching beach jacket. On the side of the box it says: "I talk!"
DAD
It says he talks...
SPOKESMAN
Just pull his string!
Mom is already pulling Len out of his box and looking for his string. She finds it and pulls the cord.
LEN
Hi. I'm Len!
EVERYBODY
Hi Len!
Dad pulls the string.
LEN
Why don't you let Mom do that?
DAD
Wait...are his lines pre-recorded?
SPOKESMAN
Sort of.
Mom pulls the cord again.
LEN
Let's go to the big game tonight!
MOM
Okay...
DAD
What "big game"?
LEN
The one with the big balls.
MOM
Bowling balls?
LEN
Sure...
LITTLE GIRL
Mommie, he's so pretty!
MOM
I know. Right?
SPOKESMAN
Len is fully mechanized and capable of responding to simple commands. Try it Mom!
MOM
Len, fetch Dad's slippers.
Len doesn't move.
SPOKESMAN
Try it again Mom.
MOM
Len, would you give me a foot rub?
Len sweeps Mom up and carries her up the stairs.
LITTLE BOY
Where is Mommie going?
It says he talks...
SPOKESMAN
Just pull his string!
Mom is already pulling Len out of his box and looking for his string. She finds it and pulls the cord.
LEN
Hi. I'm Len!
EVERYBODY
Hi Len!
Dad pulls the string.
LEN
Why don't you let Mom do that?
DAD
Wait...are his lines pre-recorded?
SPOKESMAN
Sort of.
Mom pulls the cord again.
LEN
Let's go to the big game tonight!
MOM
Okay...
DAD
What "big game"?
LEN
The one with the big balls.
MOM
Bowling balls?
LEN
Sure...
LITTLE GIRL
Mommie, he's so pretty!
MOM
I know. Right?
SPOKESMAN
Len is fully mechanized and capable of responding to simple commands. Try it Mom!
MOM
Len, fetch Dad's slippers.
Len doesn't move.
SPOKESMAN
Try it again Mom.
MOM
Len, would you give me a foot rub?
Len sweeps Mom up and carries her up the stairs.
LITTLE BOY
Where is Mommie going?
DAD
(To Spokesman) Should I go with--
SPOKESMAN
Don't worry Dad; because LeTtam can make your Christmas wishes come true too! Remember when you were so lonely as a child you created an imaginary friend because you didn't have one. Or a father?
DAD
Ah, yeah...
SPOKESMAN
Well, now, there's Mr. Guy, just for you! Bring him in fellahs!
The door opens and the DELIVERY men bring in another massive box, wrapped in Christmas paper and leave. Dad, confused, looks at his kids. They shrug. He looks to the Spokesman who nods his head. Dad rips the paper off the box and this time, we see see a tall male figure with a crew-cut and beard, wearing a camo hat and military fatigues.
Mr. Guy's box also says, "I Talk! Pull string!"
SPOKESMAN
Go ahead. Pull it. You know you want to.
Dad pulls the string and Mr. Guy says:
MR. GUY
Rooogah! Wrasslin' works those glutes!
SPOKESMAN
Mr. Guy has lots of outfits, sold separately, like: "It's Quad Day!"
He holds up a camo wrestling singlet and hands it to Dad.
SPOKESMAN
You'll have to help him get into this.
DIZZOLVE TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM -DAY
Dad has pushed the furniture out of the way and is now in his underwear, facing off Mr. Guy (in his singlet) who is crouched opposite him. The spokesman blows a WHISTLE and Dad and Mr. Guy get to grappling.
SPOKESMAN
With Mr. Guy, you're guaranteed to get a workout!
Little Girl gets up from the floor in front of the TV and tugs on the Spokesman's jacket hem.
LITTLE GIRL
Where's my Mommie?
He looks up at the ceiling and we hear the sound of BOWLING PINS GETTING STRUCK.
SPOKESMAN
(Ignoring Little Girl, to CAMERA as logo comes up) "...if it says LeTtam, you know it's Wham, Bam!"
(To Spokesman) Should I go with--
SPOKESMAN
Don't worry Dad; because LeTtam can make your Christmas wishes come true too! Remember when you were so lonely as a child you created an imaginary friend because you didn't have one. Or a father?
DAD
Ah, yeah...
SPOKESMAN
Well, now, there's Mr. Guy, just for you! Bring him in fellahs!
The door opens and the DELIVERY men bring in another massive box, wrapped in Christmas paper and leave. Dad, confused, looks at his kids. They shrug. He looks to the Spokesman who nods his head. Dad rips the paper off the box and this time, we see see a tall male figure with a crew-cut and beard, wearing a camo hat and military fatigues.
Mr. Guy's box also says, "I Talk! Pull string!"
SPOKESMAN
Go ahead. Pull it. You know you want to.
Dad pulls the string and Mr. Guy says:
MR. GUY
Rooogah! Wrasslin' works those glutes!
SPOKESMAN
Mr. Guy has lots of outfits, sold separately, like: "It's Quad Day!"
He holds up a camo wrestling singlet and hands it to Dad.
SPOKESMAN
You'll have to help him get into this.
DIZZOLVE TO:
INT. LIVING ROOM -DAY
Dad has pushed the furniture out of the way and is now in his underwear, facing off Mr. Guy (in his singlet) who is crouched opposite him. The spokesman blows a WHISTLE and Dad and Mr. Guy get to grappling.
SPOKESMAN
With Mr. Guy, you're guaranteed to get a workout!
Little Girl gets up from the floor in front of the TV and tugs on the Spokesman's jacket hem.
LITTLE GIRL
Where's my Mommie?
He looks up at the ceiling and we hear the sound of BOWLING PINS GETTING STRUCK.
SPOKESMAN
(Ignoring Little Girl, to CAMERA as logo comes up) "...if it says LeTtam, you know it's Wham, Bam!"
And scene!
CFR 4/8/24
CFR 4/8/24