I remember when I was a kid, watching Saturday Night Live and seeing this sketch called "Show Us Your Guns!" It may have been from the very first episode (which I know I did not see live; probably caught this in a rerun): Anyways, here is a bootleg Youtube version:
Watching it as a kid I remember thinking it was a case of comedic hyperbole. Classic comedy exaggeration. In 1975 I had never seen a gun in person (other than in a policeman's holster). We had no firearms in my house; and my dad was in the Marines and had several sharpshooting medals; but no gun. We didn't know anybody who had guns. Guns were practically abstract concepts: soldiers carried them in far off lands. Or props on Quinn Martin productions. If Barnaby Jones shot someone or maybe one of Charlie's Angels took a bullet, what happened? Usually not much: a splotch of ketchup on a shoulder. Hollywood guns were toys and treated as such in movies and on television. Now, of course, we know just how spot-on and prescient that SNL "spoof" was.
Fast forward about 46 years. Did you watch the 2021 Oscar (Registered/TM/Pat.Pend) Ceremony? I did; and if you missed it, it was as bizarre as you've heard. The zeitgeistian moments du jour-du soir, besides wondering if Frances McDormand needs some or several kinds of interventions; or why there wasn't a choo-choo themed musical number: were the heart-felt speeches about gun violence. In a nutshell, the sentiments ran along the lines of: Not One More Gun Death in This Country! But that was it. There was no follow up sentiment or implied repercussions. What? If there's one more gun death in this country you're going to protest by not making your movie? Well, wouldn't that be noble? Super unlikely but highly noble. Nearly half of the speech-givers that night paid lip service to this idea. Meanwhile, here is the number one movie in the country right now:
Fast forward about 46 years. Did you watch the 2021 Oscar (Registered/TM/Pat.Pend) Ceremony? I did; and if you missed it, it was as bizarre as you've heard. The zeitgeistian moments du jour-du soir, besides wondering if Frances McDormand needs some or several kinds of interventions; or why there wasn't a choo-choo themed musical number: were the heart-felt speeches about gun violence. In a nutshell, the sentiments ran along the lines of: Not One More Gun Death in This Country! But that was it. There was no follow up sentiment or implied repercussions. What? If there's one more gun death in this country you're going to protest by not making your movie? Well, wouldn't that be noble? Super unlikely but highly noble. Nearly half of the speech-givers that night paid lip service to this idea. Meanwhile, here is the number one movie in the country right now:
Hmmmm. I counted around 15 gun deaths in this clip; several were point blank firearm discharges to peoples faces. Oh, and one stabbing. Granted, Guy Ritchie did not give a speech on Oscar night; but this is an MGM release. We can apply the hollow promises to this, I think, quite squarely. Also to this one, which was number one at the box office upon its release and is still in the top ten:
This one comes to us from the fine pacifists at Universal Studios. You can't get more mainstream and Hollywood establishment than Universal. Nobody is nothing less than a gun orgy. A bullet spewing circle jerk. I saw it at the theater and quickly lost count of the body count. I mean, l like a good shoot 'em up as much as the next person. I enjoyed Nobody. Violence is cathartic. Ultraviolence can be a cleansing thrill. I get it. But I'm not running around clutching my pearls and boycotting guns every time some lunatic climbs a bell tower.
Sorry Bob and Jason; but you do have a certain amount of complicity by signing on to movies like Wrath of Man and Nobody. I have a certain complicity in going to see them. And I know I will see Wrath of Man.
I could oggle Jason until the cows come home.
Unfortunately, so could any kid or unstable adult.
(Side note: Bob looks exactly like a guy I dated in early 90's, whose name happened to be Bob).
Look at the way both trailers salivate over the weaponry; the guns are slathered and drooled over. The reports are amplified and turned into a kind of gospel or violent house music. The camera lovingly pans over every phallic inch of gunmetal. Every click of every bullet clip being pounded into a gun chamber is amplified for maximum fetishization. These trailers are not about the stories. They're about the guns. It's actually kind of stomach turning. It's gross. Hollywood has banned cigarettes from movies (more or less) but what about all these guns? It's the elephant in the room that no one in that industry will acknowledge; let alone try and change. These gun-glut movies are huge money-makers. Which is fine. The film industry has the right to make them.
Speaking of Frances McDormand: she sort of represents the ultra-liberal contingent of Hollywood. But she's no stranger to guns. Here's the poster for her first movie; which prominently features a Saturday night special. The .38 revolver; which is perhaps the poster gun of guns:
Sorry Bob and Jason; but you do have a certain amount of complicity by signing on to movies like Wrath of Man and Nobody. I have a certain complicity in going to see them. And I know I will see Wrath of Man.
I could oggle Jason until the cows come home.
Unfortunately, so could any kid or unstable adult.
(Side note: Bob looks exactly like a guy I dated in early 90's, whose name happened to be Bob).
Look at the way both trailers salivate over the weaponry; the guns are slathered and drooled over. The reports are amplified and turned into a kind of gospel or violent house music. The camera lovingly pans over every phallic inch of gunmetal. Every click of every bullet clip being pounded into a gun chamber is amplified for maximum fetishization. These trailers are not about the stories. They're about the guns. It's actually kind of stomach turning. It's gross. Hollywood has banned cigarettes from movies (more or less) but what about all these guns? It's the elephant in the room that no one in that industry will acknowledge; let alone try and change. These gun-glut movies are huge money-makers. Which is fine. The film industry has the right to make them.
Speaking of Frances McDormand: she sort of represents the ultra-liberal contingent of Hollywood. But she's no stranger to guns. Here's the poster for her first movie; which prominently features a Saturday night special. The .38 revolver; which is perhaps the poster gun of guns:
And one of her most beloved roles (where she was packin'):
Not to single out Ms. McDormand (although, I guess I am) she's rather representative of this movieland hypocrisy when it comes to firearms. Don't get me wrong; I love Frances. She's endlessly entertaining: but might we remind her that she is, indeed, a movie star and is thus somewhat obligated to getting (at least) her hair done for the Academy Awards? Oh, and would it kill her to put on a pair of heels? Look Frances, if you could so care less about the ceremony, why not just stay home? I mean, you looked like you were on a Zoom call anyway.
Is the above image about Keanu Reeves or the gorgeous array of glossy guns? Kind of a toss-up; but advantage guns.
So, guns (which have been part of Hollywood since the beginning) aren't going anywhere as far as movies are concerned. I understand this. I love gun scenes in movies. Some of my favorite movies have scenes with guns front and center:
So, guns (which have been part of Hollywood since the beginning) aren't going anywhere as far as movies are concerned. I understand this. I love gun scenes in movies. Some of my favorite movies have scenes with guns front and center:
My problem lies with films that exist more as commercials for the gun industry. Films that glorify and glamorize people being shot to death.
So what can we do? Well, we can stop going to see these kinds of movies. Yes, but that's not going to happen. We need a separate gauge applied to films that feature guns.
Here is my suggestion. How about a Gun Violence Rating from the MPAA? On a scale of 1 to 10? Like say, Wrath of Man and Nobody get a "GVR-9"? Anything over a five disallows anyone of a certain age range from seeing it. Anything over a GVR-8 is for adults only (sort of Triple-XXX gun porn). Or some kind of system. Right? Maybe? In a perfect world? How about a huge Surgeon General type warning slapped across the posters, opening the trailers and preceding the production logos: WARNING: THIS FILM CONTAINS GUNS THAT SHOOT BLANKS THAT HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO ACTUALLY KILL or THE GUNS IN THIS FILM ARE DUE TO PHALLIC INSECURITY. Or something like that; but I won't hold my breath.
In any event; here's a choo-choo themed musical number to cheer you up!
So what can we do? Well, we can stop going to see these kinds of movies. Yes, but that's not going to happen. We need a separate gauge applied to films that feature guns.
Here is my suggestion. How about a Gun Violence Rating from the MPAA? On a scale of 1 to 10? Like say, Wrath of Man and Nobody get a "GVR-9"? Anything over a five disallows anyone of a certain age range from seeing it. Anything over a GVR-8 is for adults only (sort of Triple-XXX gun porn). Or some kind of system. Right? Maybe? In a perfect world? How about a huge Surgeon General type warning slapped across the posters, opening the trailers and preceding the production logos: WARNING: THIS FILM CONTAINS GUNS THAT SHOOT BLANKS THAT HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO ACTUALLY KILL or THE GUNS IN THIS FILM ARE DUE TO PHALLIC INSECURITY. Or something like that; but I won't hold my breath.
In any event; here's a choo-choo themed musical number to cheer you up!
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