Christopher F Reidy
Christopher Reidy
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CFR BLOG PAGE

The thoughts & Musings of Christopher F. Reidy*

NOTE: Apparently this webpage has some glitches. It tends to randomly switch out visual material.  Why?  Don't ask me.  So, if a pic doesn't match the text...it doesn't!  Rest assured I am trying to amend this problem.  When I get around to it.

*(may contain misuse of apostrophes, miss spellings, overabundance of semi-colons,  wrong word usage, etc.
Please pardon our appearance while we create a new blog experience for you!)

​ALSO: 
Please find a complete index of blog posts on the homepage, for your convenience!

AND YET ANOTHER NOTE:
The visual switcheroos on these blogs have reached a point where there's no way I can correct them all, so I'm just going to leave them be.  If they don't match the text, just think of them as whimsical funsies decorating the text.  I will continue to supply pictures; but I cannot guarantee their context: much like my mind.
Thank you for your patience!

A FURTHER NOTE:
I try to keep this website relatively free of anything truly morally reprehensible or obscene.  However, in the pursuit of honesty; I will be quite frank about sexuality; as I feel one should be.  To  wit: this website is not for children.  It is decidedly "adult"; although not necessarily not "childish."  I do not feel it is suitable, in some instances, for anyone below the age of 17.  Or maybe a very mature 16...or 15 even.  
THIS WEBSITE IS RATED: PG-15

Product Information

Showbiz Chat: The Brady's

8/13/2021

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Picture
I was invited backstage with the Brady family for the reboot of their variety show: The New Brady Family Shin-Dig! which is going to be streaming on a device near you very shortly.  I sat down with the gang between takes to talk about wine, women, men and songs.  And sequins and buttons and bows and the whole shebang!
Chris Reidy:  Hi Brady's!
Brady's: Hi Chris!!!
CR: You all look fantastic!  It's like none of you have aged since 1977!
Carol Brady: Oh Chris, you scamp!  It is 1977!
CR: Oh.  Sure.  Uhh, it sure looks like it...
Mike Brady:  What brings you to our town?
CR: I was visiting some friends.  Every now and then I miss L.A.
MB: Who's "Ellay"?
CR: Pardon?
MB: Chris has a girlfriend!
CR: Sure.  Whatever. What town do you live in?  It's never mentioned on your show...
Greg Brady: We live in the neighborhood, silly.
CR: I'm a little confused.  Tell me Florence, what did it feel like to be America's Mom?
(Everyone looks around confused)
Cindy Brady: Who's Florence?  Another girlfriend?
(At this point, Scott Rubin, producer of The New Brady Family Shin-Dig! rushes in and throws a bagel with limburger at my head, narrowly missing me).
Scott Rubin: (raising a remote control and hitting a button; the Brady's freeze (in fear, I assume): You frickin' moron!  One more question and I woulda have to reset their algorithms! 
CR: Who's Al Gorithem? (rimshot).
SR: You're fired.  Get out!
CR: You can't fire me.  I was invited by the Krofft family.
SR: I don't care if you were invited by frickin' Witchiepoo...
CR: Look Mr. Rubin, I'm doing this interview whether you like it or not; so why don't you just take a deep breath and we can have a nice, adult conversation.
SR
: (takes a foot-long Slim Jim out of his jacket pocket and takes a bite)  I will sue your ass if you screw this up for me.
CR: (glancing at the Brady's, who are still frozen in place.  Then, in a stage whisper): Why are they not moving...?
SR: (Does a Three Stooges group slap to the Brady's.  No reaction):  They're holograms you dunce!
CR: Holograms?
SR: I just said that.
CR: You mean they're Artificial Intelligence?
SR: Well, you got the first part right.  Didn't you wonder why you were talking to the late Robert Reed and the late Florence Henderson?
CR:  Oh yeah!
(An assistant tip-toes in and taps Mr. Rubin on the shoulder):
Assistant: Oh, ah, Mr. Rubin.  I think they're towing your Rolls Royce...
SR: (Lashing out with the Slim Jim)  I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THE CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Assistant: But the L.A.P.D. forced me to leave the vehicle at gunpoint...
SR: So?
Assistant: Well, you were blocking a major artery!
SR: (Running out) YOU'RE FRIGGIN' FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CR: (Picking up remote control): I wonder what this button does? (pushes button).
CR: Well, that was something.
Assistant: Actually, I programmed the number.
CR: It's some kind of genius.  You know, you look a lot like the "Jan" hologram...​
Assistant: That's the fake Jan!  I am the real Jan!!! (removes Geri Reischl mask).
CR: Eve Plumb!  But why?
Eve Plumb: Geri! Geri! Geri!  That's all I ever hear.  Somehow the fake Jan is more popular than the real Jan; which is me, Jan--err--Eve Plumb!
CR: I'm a little confused...
EP: You're confused?  Try being me for a day!
CR: Sure Jan.  I mean Eve.  It seems like you can't make up your mind about being Jan Brady.  I mean, one minute you're turning the role down and the next minute you're orchestrating whatever this is...and weren't you in the Baby Secret commercial?  What was that about?
EP: I don't want to talk about it...
CR: And then you played a teen-age hooker in that TV movie, Dawn...
ER: She was a runaway!
CR: Sure Eve.  And then you played Beth March in a TV version of Little Women along side Laurie Partridge...
EP: All right!  What do you want me to say?  I've had an erratic career!!!
CR: You know, a lot of us thought that Jan was the only sane person in that house.  No wonder you became a runaway.
EP: Really?
CR: Really.  But Eve; this has got to go.  It's got to stop.  We can't turn these holograms into show business slaves.  We dont' have the right!
EP: Are you advocating for the rights of Artificial Intelligence that has become sentient; like in that new 20th movie, Free Guy?
CR:  I suppose so.  And might I just say that I find it the height of irony that Disney is using plot-lines involving intellectual property theft?  With a straight face? 
EP: It's 20th studios...
CR: Sure Jan.  But anyway, since you've been fired and you're so rebellious; how about reprogramming these Bradygrams to follow Mr. Rubin wherever he goes, whatever he does and serenade him with Brady hits like: "Good Time Music" and classics like, "Baby Face"?
EP:  I can do that.  I got my degree from ITT technical college.  (She pulls out a laptop and gets to work.  Soon, the Brady holograms come to life and start boogie-ing (boogeying?).
Marcia Brady:  This is so groovy!
Peter Brady:  It's time to change!
Bobby Brady: We've got to rearrange!
(At this point, Mr. Rubin returns)
SR:  WHAT THE FREAK IS GOING ON?  WHY AREN'T THESE CLODS REHEARSING?  THEY'RE FIRED!
The Bradys: You can't fire us!  We quit! (They circle him and start singing "Hooray For Hollywood").
SR:  AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (He runs from the theater as the Brady's give chase, singing at the top of their lungs).
CR: Well, all's well that ends well!
EP: Sure Chris.
(Sid and Marty Krofft wander out from backstage, carrying the H.R. Pufnstuf costume).
Sid Krofft: Well Eve, since you killed our Brady show you better put this on.  We got a curtain going up tonight.
EP:  The show must go on!
CR: Sure Jan.
(Sound of deflating trumpet).
  • Music 4: comical trombone outro
And, scene.

Note: Don't ask me.
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    AUTHOR
    Christopher Reidy is from the Boston area.  He attended Boston University where he studied TV and film which eventually led him to Los Angeles.  There he did the Hollywood thing (which he wasn’t particularly good at) and eventually met his partner Joseph.  He was one of the co-founders of the short lived Off Hollywood Theatre Company which staged several of his original plays.  83 In the Shade is his first novel.  He also dabbles in screenplays, toys with short stories, and flirts with poetry.  Life brought him to bucolic Southwest Virginia where he now resides and is very active in community theatre. It may interest you to know Chris is officially an Irish citizen as well as an American. He also enjoys drawing and painting and looking after a passel of 
    ​
    housecats and two turtles.

     

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