This one is more specific. It was penned especially for a show set in Los Angeles. Intended for Mr. Mayor, it could be used for any show that has a moronic but loveable authority figure and at least four underlings (to make the optional spit take(s) work). Spit takes cost extra. There's a water cooler; so probably a workplace setting...
FADE IN ON:
The Mayor's outer office. Mikaela, Jayden and Tommy are standing around the water cooler.
MIKAELA: The mayor is so cute! The other day we were talking about--
She is interrupted by Arpi, who marches up and grabs a paper-cup.
ARPI: Oh, did I interrupt? I'm soooo sorry; but some of us have been on the phone all morning...
She bends down to pour some water; but then she is interrupted by the Mayor who pushes her out of the way and grabs a cup.
MAYOR BREMER: (Pointing to his reddened face and speaking with a raspy voice): Poppers!
ARPI: Excuse me?
MAYOR: Poppers, jalapeno poppers for lunch! (He fills a cup with water and rushes towards his office).
JAYDEN: Someone should tell him he wants milk for that...(sips his water)
TOMMY: His honor is really starting to expand his horizons! Mexican for lunch? I mean a year ago, the only place he'd eat was The House of Pies.
JAYDEN: He does seem to be growing in the job. He's definitely getting more educated about the diverse and thriving city in which we reside.
ARPI: Really? The other day I brought up "tar pits" and he thought it was a skin condition.
MIKAELA: (Nervous laugh). I told him that--
JAYDEN: (Does a spit take, spritzing all over Mikaela)
ARPI: Well, you might get a skin condition now. You can call it "tar spritz."
A beat. The mayor pops his head around the corner as the foursome sip their water.
MAYOR: Did somebody say "tits"?
Arpi, Mikaela, Jayden and Tommy do a simultaneous spit-take. Cut to commercial.
And scene.
Thank you. At a hundred dollars a word and with five spit takes (at a grand per take) that'll be:
$18,700.00
You can make the check out to "Chris Reidy."
The Mayor's outer office. Mikaela, Jayden and Tommy are standing around the water cooler.
MIKAELA: The mayor is so cute! The other day we were talking about--
She is interrupted by Arpi, who marches up and grabs a paper-cup.
ARPI: Oh, did I interrupt? I'm soooo sorry; but some of us have been on the phone all morning...
She bends down to pour some water; but then she is interrupted by the Mayor who pushes her out of the way and grabs a cup.
MAYOR BREMER: (Pointing to his reddened face and speaking with a raspy voice): Poppers!
ARPI: Excuse me?
MAYOR: Poppers, jalapeno poppers for lunch! (He fills a cup with water and rushes towards his office).
JAYDEN: Someone should tell him he wants milk for that...(sips his water)
TOMMY: His honor is really starting to expand his horizons! Mexican for lunch? I mean a year ago, the only place he'd eat was The House of Pies.
JAYDEN: He does seem to be growing in the job. He's definitely getting more educated about the diverse and thriving city in which we reside.
ARPI: Really? The other day I brought up "tar pits" and he thought it was a skin condition.
MIKAELA: (Nervous laugh). I told him that--
JAYDEN: (Does a spit take, spritzing all over Mikaela)
ARPI: Well, you might get a skin condition now. You can call it "tar spritz."
A beat. The mayor pops his head around the corner as the foursome sip their water.
MAYOR: Did somebody say "tits"?
Arpi, Mikaela, Jayden and Tommy do a simultaneous spit-take. Cut to commercial.
And scene.
Thank you. At a hundred dollars a word and with five spit takes (at a grand per take) that'll be:
$18,700.00
You can make the check out to "Chris Reidy."