Stealing Laughs

Or: Thoughts on the Supposed Sacrosanctity of Comedy and the Grand Tradition of Joke Theft.

Poor Dane Cook.  He's in the doghouse. Wait: being in the doghouse would foster the implication that he might one day get out of it.  It hasn't happened yet and I have the sinking feeling it won't. One minute he was a household-name-comedy-Super-Star, standing up in cable comedy concerts, selling out Madison Square Garden and starring in laugh-a-minute comedy films; and the next he can't get work at Giggles comedy club in Saugus, Massachusetts.  And he's a Masshole.  How did this happen?  What went wrong?  Let's explore...

Oh, in case you forgot who he is:

Ah, the many moods of Dane.  And someone's had a Brazilian, methinks.  But I digress.
Seriously.  Dane Cook was a huge star in the earlier 2000s.  And now it's like he's been banished to  Tristan da Cunha.  Personally, I never watched any of his stand-up specials.  But I did see both Employee of the Month and Good Luck Chuck at the movies.  There must've not been much to choose from when those were released.  It certainly wasn't destination cinema.  But I saw them.  He was moderately amusing.  A so-so actor.  Better than so-so; but definitely room for improvement.  I didn't hate him.  In fact, I was kind of intrigued by his sort of hangdog good looks and Muppet-like speaking voice: like his tongue was too big for his mouth.  I think he tried his hand at drama too.  He was in Mr. Brooks, a psycho-thriller with Kevin Costner.  I haven't seen it, so I will withhold comment.
So what did Dane do to get himself so thoroughly dismissed from "The Biz"?
Well, one of the things he did, apparently, that did not endear him to anyone in the biz; was steal material from other comedians.  Louis C.K. in particular.  But, in doing a little research for this story, it seems that for all the decrying of this practice by people in comedy: everybody does it.  Even people like the beloved Robin Williams would steal from other comics.  Williams copped to it.  So have others.  But Dane steadfastly took a deny, deny, deny stance even when he was directly confronted by Louis C.K.  I mean, I think that's how it went down.  Maybe if he'd just said, "You know what Louis?  I confess.  I flat out ripped you off." He'd probably still be working today.  Also, he could've asked Louis why Louis thought anyone would want to see him masturbate.  Like, even his girlfriend probably doesn't wanna see that.  I wouldn't want to see it.  And I'm into "gingers."
Now, as for the quality of Dane's material, I also can't comment.  I've never seen one of his "sets."  Like I said, I saw the movies; but I don't think he wrote the scripts.  Could it be--and this is just conjecture on my part--that people, at first, thought he was funny; but then realized that in actuality, he really wasn't funny at all.  That they'd mistaken annoyance for having their funny bones tickled?
Like I said, Dane is a "Masshole."  A Masshole is anyone born in the Bay State.  Massholes think they're better than everyone else.  They're entitled.  Maybe that's why Dane did what Dane dood.  Arrogance is the hob-goblin of true greatness. 
​Speaking of Massholes: here's another comedian who has a reputation for comedy theft and has lost no love with a lot of his colleagues.

Also a ginger.  Full disclosure: I would happily watch him masturbate in front of me.  He's from Worcester MA.  Pronounced, "Wustah."  I don't know him.  He went to Emerson college.  I had some friends who went to Emerson, so I'm sure we trod a lot of the same ground.  Dane went to Bunker Hill Community College and we're close in age.  We were probably at some of the same Bunker Hill Day parades in Charlestown.  Such a small world!  Denis strikes me as someone with a lot of arrogance.  Arrogance can be hot.  But if the arrogance crosses the line into assholeism*; you usually lose a lot of friends.  Also Denis, why does your name only have one "N"?  Shouldn't we pronounce it French style: Denee, like that Blondie song***?  Is "Denis" actually on your birth certificate?
Speaking of Boston area comics.  Are you familiar with Jackie Flynn?

Like Dane, he hails from Arlington MA.  Jackie is a stand-up and an actor and he's made a lot of in-roads into the movies and TV.  He's like in all the Farrelly Brothers movies.  I've literally known him since childhood.  He lived across the street from my cousins.  His family invented fried dough.  He's like the Anna's Fried Dough heir.  My sister went on a couple of dates with him in the 80's.  He's a nice guy.  He did a gig at my parent's twenty-fifth anniversary party.  Real old-school comedic stylings.  We're Facebook friends!  Why am I telling you this?  I don't know.  Maybe to further point up how small the world is and how many connections you can find in it?  And that the actions you take do have an affect on other people; and may, somewhere down the line have an affect on you?  Ones you don't necessarily want.
Hmmmm...here's another ginger comedian from the Boston area who was accused of stealing jokes (and a dyed-in-the-wool-tried-and-true-H-bomb**-dropping-Masshole):

Conan was clearly upset about being accused of this and was willing to go to a public trial about it.  It was settled out of court.  There's all kinds of stuff online about the case and Conan wrote a piece for Variety.  He gets into "parallel creation" which is definitely a thing.  Ideas float through the zeitgeist.  People can have the same ideas at the same time.  But sometimes, I think you simply know when you've been stolen from.  And since it's so rampant, not only in the comedy world; but everywhere, there's a temptation to see it as some kind of badge of honor.  Don't give in to the temptation.  Why did I post a shirtless pic of Conan?  He's a ginger-gay-geek-wet-dream, that's why.  Conan, stop shaving that furry chest.  Full disclosure:  would I watch him masturbate in front of me?  Well, I wouldn't say I wouldn't!
​We can't leave the girls out of this...

Amy Shumer (not from Boston, not a ginger(?) was accused a while back of stealing material from her fellow female comics.  And then she wasn't.  It seems like it was a case of, "jealous much"?  I like Amy Shumer.  It seems like she gets a lot of hate.  A lot of hate that she wouldn't if she was a male comic.  Anyways, I think the funny women are way funnier than the boys.  Dudes somehow always seem to drag ego and macho bullshit into it and aren't in on the joke.  I think that's why a lot of male comics, when they get older, lose the funny. 
​Finally, here's Patton Oswalt talking about the subject.

Verrrrrrrrryyyyy interesting...
(Are you old enough to know where I stole that from?):

FULL DISCLOSURE:
Would I watch any of the following masturbate in front of me?
Dane Cook - In a New York minute!
Amy Shumer - In a New Jersey minute!
Patton Oswalt - In a New Mexico minute!
Arte Johnson - In a New Hebrides minute!
Jackie Flynn - Hey, don't be gross.  He dated my sister dude.

*Assholeism should not be confused with Massholeism.  Assholeism is really just being a really big asshole.
**Please see my blog entitled: "How I Got Into Harvard Without Really Trying."
***(see below)