TeenAlert!

So my phone rang late last night and I grabbed it.  It was my dear friend Teena Fay.  She is a professional Tina Fey impersonator.  She had some news for me...

TEENA
​Did you see Dancing With the Stars tonight?
MR. CHRIS
​No.  That show's not really my thing; why?
TEENA
Greg Brady was on.
MR. CHRIS
You mean Barry Williams, the actor?
TEENA
Sure.
MR. CHRIS
What about him?
TEENA
He danced to "Sunshine Day," that cheesy song from The Brady Bunch.
MR. CHRIS
Hmmm, that's strange.  Two days ago I literally wrote the first scene of my new sitcom pilot and the main character was playing Greg Brady and singing that song.
TEENA
No shit.
​The funky guitar riff of the "classic" song wafted between my ears...

MR. CHRIS
But Teena; that show is performed live.  And it's rehearsed a long time in advance, you know, so they can learn the dances.  Even I have to admit that Uncle Walt couldn't have put one of my ideas into action in 24 to 48 hours!
TEENA
But you wrote about singing and dancing to "Sunshine Day" over a year ago in your blog entitled: "Dr. Seinfeld or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Com."  You went into great detail about it.
MR. CHRIS
Yeah, we put on a show at the Glendale Federal bank vault.  I've incorporated that into my new pilot.
TEENA
So, it is a coincidence that you were writing that scene for your script the day before DWTS; but--
MR. CHRIS
But it's less likely that it's a coincidence in general.  Apparently Barry Williams has been trying to get on that show for seventeen years.  Why now?
TEENA
Maybe you had a little something to do with it!
MR. CHRIS
Do I want that one in my column?
TEENA
Look at all the press it's getting!  Let's face it.  America can never get enough of The Freakin' Brady Bunch!
MR. CHRIS
I know I can't!  Well, actually, I can.  I've gotta be in the mood.  Why haven't they rebooted that show with a new cast?  Set it now?  A whole new raft of contemporary problems for the Brady kids. I know I'd tune in!

MR. CHRIS
Why didn't they use the original recording?
TEENA
Uncle Walt probably didn't want to pay Paramount for it.  And you know he's kicking himself since the show originally aired on his network, ABC!
MR. CHRIS
Oh, the terrible irony of it all!
TEENA
Well, that's all.  I just wanted to bring that to your attention.  It's like you say: "If you see something else, say something else."
MR. CHRIS
So, Teena, you've finally come around to my way of thinking.  I daresay, you are a supporter.  An ally!
TEENA
Don't make this weird--
LOUD RECEIVER SLAM.
MR. CHRIS
​She loves me!

CFR  9/28/23