Before we get into the writing; let's cast our movie.
We already have Adam Driver as Henry Notlad. We might want to rethink that last name; but for now, it's our working last name.
We already have Adam Driver as Henry Notlad. We might want to rethink that last name; but for now, it's our working last name.
Adam and friend.
Domhnall Gleeson will be playing our Irish kick-fight champion, Patrick "Paddy" O'Riada:
Domhnall Gleeson will be playing our Irish kick-fight champion, Patrick "Paddy" O'Riada:
Domhnall and friend.
Clearly, Dom is going to have to pull a Jake Gyllenhaal and bulk up for this role; Adam too. Maybe they could get together with Jake and he can put them both through his patented grunting, groaning, pumping, pumping, pumping, gonna make you sweat workout!
Clearly, Dom is going to have to pull a Jake Gyllenhaal and bulk up for this role; Adam too. Maybe they could get together with Jake and he can put them both through his patented grunting, groaning, pumping, pumping, pumping, gonna make you sweat workout!
Colin Farrell as Danny Notlad, Adam's brother:
Heidi Gardner as Donna O'Shaughnessy, Adam's "fiancee."
Helen Mirren as "Gran" Notlad.
Steven "Sheamus" Farrelly as Seamus the Trainer:
Now why do you suppose he shaves his underarms? Oh, and he sings! Act 2 music break!!!
We'll cast more as we move along.
So let's get cracking!
Also, I will be tweaking dialogue and doing a certain amount of "script polishing" which I may or may not inform you of.
UNCAGED HEARTS
A Screenplay
by
Christopher F. Reidy
FADE IN ON:
INT. SAUGUS IRON WORKS GIFTSHOP -DAY
A dark haired man in a National Park Ranger's uniform is leaning on a counter, looking at an issue of Sports Illustrated magazine (the swimsuit issue).
CLOSE-UP ON MAGAZINE PAGE / INSERT SHOT
We see the image of a red-headed fighter gripping the neck of his opponent inside a fighting cage. The man in the picture, who we'll meet later, is PATRICK "PADDY" O'RIADA, 30's. The article headline reads: "Is Paddy's Crown Slipping?" Our magazine reader let's out a low, incredulous WHISTLE. He is DANNY NOTLAD, 30's. The bell on the door jingles as couple of tourists, 40's, enter the small room.
DANNY
How can I help you folks today?
MAN TOURIST
Can we tour the house?
DANNY
As a matter of fact, you can. It starts in ten minutes.
LADY TOURIST
Wonderful!
She reaches for her purse and Danny waves his hand.
DANNY
There's no charge ma'am.
LADY TOURIST
You're kidding! We just dropped a small fortune in Salem the other day.
DANNY
(Laughs) I can believe that! We here in Saugus call the town "Sell 'Em"!
LADY TOURIST
Really?
DANNY
Well, no...I just made that up...
The LADY TOURIST looks at him quizzically and then at her husband who sort of shrugs. The bell jingles again and a boy of about 10 or so rushes in.
BOY
When does this thing start? I'm hungry. (To Danny) Ya got any snacks in here?
Danny looks around and finds a cob of purple Indian corn and offers it to the boy.
LADY TOURIST
(Giggles) You're a riot!
DANNY
(Winks at her) Yes, so the tour starts at eleven. I'll meet you at the front door.
MAN TOURIST
Great. Come on honey...
(he practically pushes her out the door)
The family exits. Danny looks out a back window across the ironworks. He gazes at a small blacksmith's shop, smoke rising from its chimney and then at his watch. He rolls up the magazine and puts it in his back pocket. Shakes his head. Grabs a satchel from the wall, and crams the magazine in. He sighs, slings the bag over his shoulder, puts on his hat and goes out the door.
CUT TO:
INT. IRONMASTER'S HOUSE -DAY
Danny, is leading a small group of tourists through the house, which is a recreation/restoration of a three-story, 17th century English house.
We'll cast more as we move along.
So let's get cracking!
Also, I will be tweaking dialogue and doing a certain amount of "script polishing" which I may or may not inform you of.
UNCAGED HEARTS
A Screenplay
by
Christopher F. Reidy
FADE IN ON:
INT. SAUGUS IRON WORKS GIFTSHOP -DAY
A dark haired man in a National Park Ranger's uniform is leaning on a counter, looking at an issue of Sports Illustrated magazine (the swimsuit issue).
CLOSE-UP ON MAGAZINE PAGE / INSERT SHOT
We see the image of a red-headed fighter gripping the neck of his opponent inside a fighting cage. The man in the picture, who we'll meet later, is PATRICK "PADDY" O'RIADA, 30's. The article headline reads: "Is Paddy's Crown Slipping?" Our magazine reader let's out a low, incredulous WHISTLE. He is DANNY NOTLAD, 30's. The bell on the door jingles as couple of tourists, 40's, enter the small room.
DANNY
How can I help you folks today?
MAN TOURIST
Can we tour the house?
DANNY
As a matter of fact, you can. It starts in ten minutes.
LADY TOURIST
Wonderful!
She reaches for her purse and Danny waves his hand.
DANNY
There's no charge ma'am.
LADY TOURIST
You're kidding! We just dropped a small fortune in Salem the other day.
DANNY
(Laughs) I can believe that! We here in Saugus call the town "Sell 'Em"!
LADY TOURIST
Really?
DANNY
Well, no...I just made that up...
The LADY TOURIST looks at him quizzically and then at her husband who sort of shrugs. The bell jingles again and a boy of about 10 or so rushes in.
BOY
When does this thing start? I'm hungry. (To Danny) Ya got any snacks in here?
Danny looks around and finds a cob of purple Indian corn and offers it to the boy.
LADY TOURIST
(Giggles) You're a riot!
DANNY
(Winks at her) Yes, so the tour starts at eleven. I'll meet you at the front door.
MAN TOURIST
Great. Come on honey...
(he practically pushes her out the door)
The family exits. Danny looks out a back window across the ironworks. He gazes at a small blacksmith's shop, smoke rising from its chimney and then at his watch. He rolls up the magazine and puts it in his back pocket. Shakes his head. Grabs a satchel from the wall, and crams the magazine in. He sighs, slings the bag over his shoulder, puts on his hat and goes out the door.
CUT TO:
INT. IRONMASTER'S HOUSE -DAY
Danny, is leading a small group of tourists through the house, which is a recreation/restoration of a three-story, 17th century English house.
DANNY
...and Mr. Nutting used the place as a photography studio in--
The TOURIST BOY sits on the antique bed.
DANNY
You can't sit on that junior...
BOY
Why not?
DANNY
It has bugs.
He winks at the boy's mother again. She blushes.
BOY
You talk funny. What's wrong with your voice?
TOURIST LADY
There's nothing wrong with his voice John. It's called a brogue.
BOY
He sounds like--
DANNY
Don't tell me son. I know what you're going to say. I sound like the little elf from the cereal commercials.
BOY
His name is Lucky and he's a leprechaun.
DANNY
You don't have to tell me that! I do the voice for the television.
BOY
No you don't...
DANNY
(sing-song) Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious!
There is laughter from the group.
DANNY
Now, if there are no further questions I'll show you the forge and the mill and the blacksmith shop. You'll like that junior!
BOY
I like this!
He holds up the Sports Illustrated magazine and it flops open to a scantily swim-suited model.
DANNY
Checking his bag. Now how did you get a hold of that? You're the dickens, junior!
TOURIST MAN
Give the man his magazine back--
The tourist mom grabs the magazine and hands it to Danny, who winks at her again.
CUT TO:
A tight shot of an anvil. A red-hot iron rod is laid against it and a hammer delivers a blow, sending sparks everywhere.
The camera pulls back to reveal the blacksmith.
Okay, so these italicized red colored notes are for commentary on story ideas, plot ideas, structure, etc. To wit: a way of talking out what I want to happen. For example: I know next to nothing about mixed martial arts; fighting inside cages or otherwise, so I'm just going to make up my own version. My first thought was to set this in the near future, with all kinds of cool robotics and suchlike; kind of a Blade Runner thing. Then I thought...well, that's a little too distracting. I want the audience to be paying attention to the story between the two men, not futuristic trappings. I mean, it actually did work in Blade Runner. Your were totally invested in the love story between Harrison Ford and Sean Young. So, the cage in my story will be a globe, and the fighters can utilize "hoverboards" (self-balancing scooters) to move about the cage. Kind of like 3-D "Rollerball" maybe?
...and Mr. Nutting used the place as a photography studio in--
The TOURIST BOY sits on the antique bed.
DANNY
You can't sit on that junior...
BOY
Why not?
DANNY
It has bugs.
He winks at the boy's mother again. She blushes.
BOY
You talk funny. What's wrong with your voice?
TOURIST LADY
There's nothing wrong with his voice John. It's called a brogue.
BOY
He sounds like--
DANNY
Don't tell me son. I know what you're going to say. I sound like the little elf from the cereal commercials.
BOY
His name is Lucky and he's a leprechaun.
DANNY
You don't have to tell me that! I do the voice for the television.
BOY
No you don't...
DANNY
(sing-song) Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious!
There is laughter from the group.
DANNY
Now, if there are no further questions I'll show you the forge and the mill and the blacksmith shop. You'll like that junior!
BOY
I like this!
He holds up the Sports Illustrated magazine and it flops open to a scantily swim-suited model.
DANNY
Checking his bag. Now how did you get a hold of that? You're the dickens, junior!
TOURIST MAN
Give the man his magazine back--
The tourist mom grabs the magazine and hands it to Danny, who winks at her again.
CUT TO:
A tight shot of an anvil. A red-hot iron rod is laid against it and a hammer delivers a blow, sending sparks everywhere.
The camera pulls back to reveal the blacksmith.
Okay, so these italicized red colored notes are for commentary on story ideas, plot ideas, structure, etc. To wit: a way of talking out what I want to happen. For example: I know next to nothing about mixed martial arts; fighting inside cages or otherwise, so I'm just going to make up my own version. My first thought was to set this in the near future, with all kinds of cool robotics and suchlike; kind of a Blade Runner thing. Then I thought...well, that's a little too distracting. I want the audience to be paying attention to the story between the two men, not futuristic trappings. I mean, it actually did work in Blade Runner. Your were totally invested in the love story between Harrison Ford and Sean Young. So, the cage in my story will be a globe, and the fighters can utilize "hoverboards" (self-balancing scooters) to move about the cage. Kind of like 3-D "Rollerball" maybe?
He is a tall, brooding, dark-haired man, mid to late 30's. He wears a 17th century blacksmith's costume: breeches and a simple cotton shirt. He's not necessarily handsome, but arresting, none the less. He hammers away at the glowing iron rod like he has a personal grudge against it. His name is HENRY "HANK" NOTLAD. He seems oblivious as Danny leads the tour group up to the open door of the smith shop.
DANNY
This is one of our smithys, Henry. Say hello to the folks Henry. Henry happens to be my little brother. (Henry gives an almost disinterested nod). Oh, I see he's about to put the head on the nail...
Henry snaps off a length of the heated rod and places the "header" tool into an opening of the anvil. He pounds it until it's flat and then plunges the red hot nail into a trough of water. He pulls it out and slides the finished nail out of the header and displays it to the group.
HENRY
(To the tourist boy) If you can tell me which hand it's in, it's yours.
TOURIST BOY
Okay!
Henry puts the nail in his left palm and closes his fist. He puts both hands behind his back and then puts them forward. The boy points to Henry's right hand and Henry opens it. Nothing. The boy points to Henry's left hand which he also opens. Nothing.
TOURIST BOY
It's in your back pocket!
HENRY
These pants don't have pockets. (He waves his empty hand in front of the boy's face, then reaches behind the boys ear and produces the nail, which he hands to the now incredulous and finally silenced little whipper-snapper).
BOY
Why don't you talk funny like your brother does?
DANNY
Because he was born in a cabbage patch. All right folks, that concludes our tour. Feel free to walk about and make sure to visit our lovely little museum if you haven't already. (To TOURIST MOM) Thanks for coming...(He winks again and this time her husband literally pulls her away).
BOY
(As they leave) Look mom! I got a nail!
I will be supplying additional information in the form of visuals along the way...for fun!
DANNY
This is one of our smithys, Henry. Say hello to the folks Henry. Henry happens to be my little brother. (Henry gives an almost disinterested nod). Oh, I see he's about to put the head on the nail...
Henry snaps off a length of the heated rod and places the "header" tool into an opening of the anvil. He pounds it until it's flat and then plunges the red hot nail into a trough of water. He pulls it out and slides the finished nail out of the header and displays it to the group.
HENRY
(To the tourist boy) If you can tell me which hand it's in, it's yours.
TOURIST BOY
Okay!
Henry puts the nail in his left palm and closes his fist. He puts both hands behind his back and then puts them forward. The boy points to Henry's right hand and Henry opens it. Nothing. The boy points to Henry's left hand which he also opens. Nothing.
TOURIST BOY
It's in your back pocket!
HENRY
These pants don't have pockets. (He waves his empty hand in front of the boy's face, then reaches behind the boys ear and produces the nail, which he hands to the now incredulous and finally silenced little whipper-snapper).
BOY
Why don't you talk funny like your brother does?
DANNY
Because he was born in a cabbage patch. All right folks, that concludes our tour. Feel free to walk about and make sure to visit our lovely little museum if you haven't already. (To TOURIST MOM) Thanks for coming...(He winks again and this time her husband literally pulls her away).
BOY
(As they leave) Look mom! I got a nail!
I will be supplying additional information in the form of visuals along the way...for fun!
DANNY
(Sotto voce, to Henry) I've got a nail for his mum!
HENRY
You know winking is corny, right?
DANNY
Maybe so but when it's one of my baby browns, the ladies are helpless!
HENRY
You know Danny, that's what I love about you. Your humility.
DANNY
You don't get anything is this life if you're humble baby brother. Anyways, take a gander at this. (He pulls the magazine out of his bag and hands it to Henry. He regards the cover).
HENRY
She's a little skinny for my tastes.
DANNY
Not her...page fifty-two.
Henry turns to the page, looks at the article.
HENRY
Why am I supposed to care?
DANNY
Come on Henry. It's been five years! Don't you miss it?
HENRY
Not really...
DANNY
Really? I've seen the way you pound that anvil. And aren't you a little bored making nails for the tourists?
HENRY
Somebody's got to do it.
DANNY
And aren't you more than a little tired of living in Gran's backyard?
HENRY
Aren't you a little tired of living in her basement?
DANNY
We're not talking about me. We're talking about you. And I think you can take this fellah down.
HENRY
I don't care what you 'tink.'
DANNY
Making fun of my accent? You are bored aren't you?
HENRY
Yeah, 'cuz you're boring me...(he thrusts the magazine at Danny).
DANNY
No, you hang onto it...maybe it'll inspire you. Aviva Stadium, 2023!
Danny marches off back up the hill, as Henry shakes his head and looks at the article again. He looks up and watches as his brother recedes in the distance then throws the magazine on the fire. As Henry returns to his work, the camera closes in on the flames and we DIZZOLVE to a CLOSE-UP of a tattoo. They are stylized flames on the nearly paper-white chest of a man. The camera PANS to the right and down the left upturned arm of the man, where a TATTOO ARTIST is putting the final touches on a tattoo of a human heart.
(Sotto voce, to Henry) I've got a nail for his mum!
HENRY
You know winking is corny, right?
DANNY
Maybe so but when it's one of my baby browns, the ladies are helpless!
HENRY
You know Danny, that's what I love about you. Your humility.
DANNY
You don't get anything is this life if you're humble baby brother. Anyways, take a gander at this. (He pulls the magazine out of his bag and hands it to Henry. He regards the cover).
HENRY
She's a little skinny for my tastes.
DANNY
Not her...page fifty-two.
Henry turns to the page, looks at the article.
HENRY
Why am I supposed to care?
DANNY
Come on Henry. It's been five years! Don't you miss it?
HENRY
Not really...
DANNY
Really? I've seen the way you pound that anvil. And aren't you a little bored making nails for the tourists?
HENRY
Somebody's got to do it.
DANNY
And aren't you more than a little tired of living in Gran's backyard?
HENRY
Aren't you a little tired of living in her basement?
DANNY
We're not talking about me. We're talking about you. And I think you can take this fellah down.
HENRY
I don't care what you 'tink.'
DANNY
Making fun of my accent? You are bored aren't you?
HENRY
Yeah, 'cuz you're boring me...(he thrusts the magazine at Danny).
DANNY
No, you hang onto it...maybe it'll inspire you. Aviva Stadium, 2023!
Danny marches off back up the hill, as Henry shakes his head and looks at the article again. He looks up and watches as his brother recedes in the distance then throws the magazine on the fire. As Henry returns to his work, the camera closes in on the flames and we DIZZOLVE to a CLOSE-UP of a tattoo. They are stylized flames on the nearly paper-white chest of a man. The camera PANS to the right and down the left upturned arm of the man, where a TATTOO ARTIST is putting the final touches on a tattoo of a human heart.
INT. TATTOO PARLOR, LONDON -NIGHT
The tattoo artist, KELLY O'KELLY, 25 is covered in tattoos herself, almost to the top of her neck. Her t-shirt bares the logo of the shop: VELVET UNDERGROUND TATTOO. And we've already had a glimpse of Paddy O'Riada in the magazine. He is the man in the chair getting worked on.
PADDY
Are you almost done Kel?
KELLY
Just a couple more minutes Paddy. Blimey, you're worse than a kid...by the way; why did you take your shirt off? I'm working on your arm.
PADDY
Bare chested is the only way to have a tattoo put on!
KELLY
You don't say.
PADDY
Tell me Kel; why don't you have any tatts on your face?
KELLY
Not my cup of tea, babe. My face is my fortune.
PADDY
I thought this was your fortune...
KELLY
This is just a side gig. My day job is for Maybelline ads. Face only...so...alright...I think we're done here...you wanna have a look?
PADDY
(Raises his arm and shakes his hand out. He regards the tattoo and a huge, glowing grin lights his face) Oh, Kel, it's gorgeous! Just, beautiful! Let me take you out for a drink to celebrate!
KELLY
Celebrate? It's just a tattoo Paddy, not a new baby.
PADDY
Oh girl, you're wrong. This is my new baby! (He grabs her and kisses her cheek) Brilliant!
KELLY
Well, let me get it wrapped for you! And put your shirt on. I'm tired of looking at your nips.
She goes to the a side-counter as Paddy checks himself out in a full length mirror.
CUT TO:
INT. WHITECROSS TAP PUB -NIGHT
Paddy and Kelly take seats at the bar. The bartender places two napkins in front of them.
BARTENDER
What can I get for you?
KELLY
I'll take a Carling.
PADDY
Oh, come on now! We can do better than that. Bring us your finest bottle of champagne John!
KELLY
Oh, Paddy, now don't be stupid.
PADDY
The bottle John, and two glasses.
JOHN
Coming up.
KELLY
Do you even like champagne?
PADDY
It's alright. So, how's your mum?
KELLY
She fell down again...
PADDY
What? Is she all right?
KELLY
She's nothing but trouble; but she's on the mend. She's like the little pink bunny on the TV: she falls down, she gets up and she keeps going.
PADDY
She's a doll--(the pub door opens and the bell tinkles. Kelly looks over)
KELLY
Oh, speaking of trouble...
PADDY
Yeah, I invited them.
KELLY
Oh, is that who you were on the phone with?
Two men approach. One is tall, good-looking in a scruffy kind of way, clearly boisterous. This is SEAN O'RIADA, 30's. He is Paddy's older brother. The other man, who is in a wheel-chair, is CAL ROGERS, 30's. Unlike Sean, Cal is quiet and reserved, but friendly.
PADDY
Oh shite! Look what the cat dragged in!
SEAN
Well you're the one who dragged us down here; so you must be the pussy.
PADDY
(Swats him) Hey! There are ladies present!
KELLY
Where?
The bartender returns with a champagne bottle and displays it to Paddy.
BARTENDER
Will this do?
SEAN
'Voo-vee Clee-koo-ought' You really are a pussy!
PADDY
Feck off Sean. That's brilliant John and could you bring it to a table with two more glasses?
JOHN
Sure Paddy.
SEAN
(Mockingly) Champage!
PADDY
Like you won't drink it...
(So, I want a real hairy chested actor to play Sean, as, like pretty much all of the male cast, he will be shirtless at some point. I want to counter-balance all the smoothies, so let's cast Aiden Turner as Sean)
The tattoo artist, KELLY O'KELLY, 25 is covered in tattoos herself, almost to the top of her neck. Her t-shirt bares the logo of the shop: VELVET UNDERGROUND TATTOO. And we've already had a glimpse of Paddy O'Riada in the magazine. He is the man in the chair getting worked on.
PADDY
Are you almost done Kel?
KELLY
Just a couple more minutes Paddy. Blimey, you're worse than a kid...by the way; why did you take your shirt off? I'm working on your arm.
PADDY
Bare chested is the only way to have a tattoo put on!
KELLY
You don't say.
PADDY
Tell me Kel; why don't you have any tatts on your face?
KELLY
Not my cup of tea, babe. My face is my fortune.
PADDY
I thought this was your fortune...
KELLY
This is just a side gig. My day job is for Maybelline ads. Face only...so...alright...I think we're done here...you wanna have a look?
PADDY
(Raises his arm and shakes his hand out. He regards the tattoo and a huge, glowing grin lights his face) Oh, Kel, it's gorgeous! Just, beautiful! Let me take you out for a drink to celebrate!
KELLY
Celebrate? It's just a tattoo Paddy, not a new baby.
PADDY
Oh girl, you're wrong. This is my new baby! (He grabs her and kisses her cheek) Brilliant!
KELLY
Well, let me get it wrapped for you! And put your shirt on. I'm tired of looking at your nips.
She goes to the a side-counter as Paddy checks himself out in a full length mirror.
CUT TO:
INT. WHITECROSS TAP PUB -NIGHT
Paddy and Kelly take seats at the bar. The bartender places two napkins in front of them.
BARTENDER
What can I get for you?
KELLY
I'll take a Carling.
PADDY
Oh, come on now! We can do better than that. Bring us your finest bottle of champagne John!
KELLY
Oh, Paddy, now don't be stupid.
PADDY
The bottle John, and two glasses.
JOHN
Coming up.
KELLY
Do you even like champagne?
PADDY
It's alright. So, how's your mum?
KELLY
She fell down again...
PADDY
What? Is she all right?
KELLY
She's nothing but trouble; but she's on the mend. She's like the little pink bunny on the TV: she falls down, she gets up and she keeps going.
PADDY
She's a doll--(the pub door opens and the bell tinkles. Kelly looks over)
KELLY
Oh, speaking of trouble...
PADDY
Yeah, I invited them.
KELLY
Oh, is that who you were on the phone with?
Two men approach. One is tall, good-looking in a scruffy kind of way, clearly boisterous. This is SEAN O'RIADA, 30's. He is Paddy's older brother. The other man, who is in a wheel-chair, is CAL ROGERS, 30's. Unlike Sean, Cal is quiet and reserved, but friendly.
PADDY
Oh shite! Look what the cat dragged in!
SEAN
Well you're the one who dragged us down here; so you must be the pussy.
PADDY
(Swats him) Hey! There are ladies present!
KELLY
Where?
The bartender returns with a champagne bottle and displays it to Paddy.
BARTENDER
Will this do?
SEAN
'Voo-vee Clee-koo-ought' You really are a pussy!
PADDY
Feck off Sean. That's brilliant John and could you bring it to a table with two more glasses?
JOHN
Sure Paddy.
SEAN
(Mockingly) Champage!
PADDY
Like you won't drink it...
(So, I want a real hairy chested actor to play Sean, as, like pretty much all of the male cast, he will be shirtless at some point. I want to counter-balance all the smoothies, so let's cast Aiden Turner as Sean)
How about Banita Sandhu as Kelly O'Kelly? Works for me!
SMASH CUT TO:
CLOSE-UP on champagne bottle as the cork POPS. Paddy starts filling the glasses that are on the table.
CAL
So, what's the occasion Paddy?
PADDY
I felt like celebrating. You know, a sort of 'we need a little Christmas, right this very minute!'; also this gorgeous tattoo that the artist sitting right here has graced me with. (He takes off his coat and shows off his tattoo).
SEAN
Oh, that is a beauty! Here's to Kelly O'Kelly!
They raise their glasses to her. She shakes her head.
KELLY
You fellahs are daft; but thank you. (She knocks back her champagne) Who wants to play darts?
SEAN
(Suggestively) Oh, I'll play darts with you Kelly!
KELLY
Grow up Sean...
SEAN
Oh, I am Kelly!
She heads over to a corner of the bar, not far from the table, where there are a couple of dart-boards.
SEAN
You playing lads?
PADDY
In a minute Sean. I want to talk to Cal for a moment.
Sean raises his glass, takes a sip and follows Kelly.
CLOSE-UP on champagne bottle as the cork POPS. Paddy starts filling the glasses that are on the table.
CAL
So, what's the occasion Paddy?
PADDY
I felt like celebrating. You know, a sort of 'we need a little Christmas, right this very minute!'; also this gorgeous tattoo that the artist sitting right here has graced me with. (He takes off his coat and shows off his tattoo).
SEAN
Oh, that is a beauty! Here's to Kelly O'Kelly!
They raise their glasses to her. She shakes her head.
KELLY
You fellahs are daft; but thank you. (She knocks back her champagne) Who wants to play darts?
SEAN
(Suggestively) Oh, I'll play darts with you Kelly!
KELLY
Grow up Sean...
SEAN
Oh, I am Kelly!
She heads over to a corner of the bar, not far from the table, where there are a couple of dart-boards.
SEAN
You playing lads?
PADDY
In a minute Sean. I want to talk to Cal for a moment.
Sean raises his glass, takes a sip and follows Kelly.
PADDY
(Filling Cal's glass) Do you need anything Cal?
CAL
I'm fine Paddy...
PADDY
Because, if you need anything, all you have to do is ask...
CAL
(Polishes off the champagne and put the glass down) Paddy, the only thing I need from you is your friendship.
PADDY
Well, you've got that. What I meant was--
CAL
I know what you meant. What I mean is that I don't need you doting over me every time we see each other.
PADDY
I don't dote...I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself.
CAL
I'm fine. Paddy, you just have to let it go. It was an accident. It happened. It goes with the territory.
PADDY
All right Cal. Fine. I'll drop it.
CAL
Darts?
PADDY
Sure. (He stands and gets behind Cal's chair and starts to push)
CAL
(Laughs) I've got it Paddy.
LOUD LAUGHTER is heard from a table on the other side of the room, where THREE MEN, 30'S, are getting into their cups. Paddy follows Cal who pops a wheelie as he heads for the dart area.
(Filling Cal's glass) Do you need anything Cal?
CAL
I'm fine Paddy...
PADDY
Because, if you need anything, all you have to do is ask...
CAL
(Polishes off the champagne and put the glass down) Paddy, the only thing I need from you is your friendship.
PADDY
Well, you've got that. What I meant was--
CAL
I know what you meant. What I mean is that I don't need you doting over me every time we see each other.
PADDY
I don't dote...I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself.
CAL
I'm fine. Paddy, you just have to let it go. It was an accident. It happened. It goes with the territory.
PADDY
All right Cal. Fine. I'll drop it.
CAL
Darts?
PADDY
Sure. (He stands and gets behind Cal's chair and starts to push)
CAL
(Laughs) I've got it Paddy.
LOUD LAUGHTER is heard from a table on the other side of the room, where THREE MEN, 30'S, are getting into their cups. Paddy follows Cal who pops a wheelie as he heads for the dart area.
CUT TO:
INT. PUB DART AREA -NIGHT
The camera PANS a dart as it flies through the air and hits the dart board, just shy of the bullseye.
CAL
Twenty five points!
KELLY
Oh, Cal, let's not play proper. Let's just play for shots.
CAL
All right. Diddle for the middle. Or the outer bull. First to hit calls the shot.
As he and Kelly continue to play, Sean and Paddy are seated nearby.
SEAN
Have you heard that Roddy Shannon is back in the game?
PADDY
Playing?
SEAN
No, producing.
CAL
He's a full-on madman--
SEAN
Or a genius. He's put together his own league and he's changing the game!
PADDY
A round cage? Scooters? Gimmicks if you ask me.
SEAN
One wheels, roller blades...these guys are defying gravity!
PADDY
What are you saying? You want me to fight for him? In a round cage on roller skates?
SEAN
We're talking a million pound purse Paddy!
KELLY (Throws a dart and hits the bullseye) Beautiful! Who wants a shot of Jameson's?
SEAN
I'll take one.
CAL
Sure.
PADDY
None for me thanks.
KELLY
Be right back. (She heads to the bar).
CAL
Sean, that man is only out for himself.
SEAN
So, who isn't? What do you say Paddy? I can get you a meeting with him.
KELLY
Let me think about it Sean. We can talk business later (Kelly returns with the shots and hands one to Sean and Cal).
ALL
Slainte!
They do the shots as the THREE MEN move towards them.
INT. PUB DART AREA -NIGHT
The camera PANS a dart as it flies through the air and hits the dart board, just shy of the bullseye.
CAL
Twenty five points!
KELLY
Oh, Cal, let's not play proper. Let's just play for shots.
CAL
All right. Diddle for the middle. Or the outer bull. First to hit calls the shot.
As he and Kelly continue to play, Sean and Paddy are seated nearby.
SEAN
Have you heard that Roddy Shannon is back in the game?
PADDY
Playing?
SEAN
No, producing.
CAL
He's a full-on madman--
SEAN
Or a genius. He's put together his own league and he's changing the game!
PADDY
A round cage? Scooters? Gimmicks if you ask me.
SEAN
One wheels, roller blades...these guys are defying gravity!
PADDY
What are you saying? You want me to fight for him? In a round cage on roller skates?
SEAN
We're talking a million pound purse Paddy!
KELLY (Throws a dart and hits the bullseye) Beautiful! Who wants a shot of Jameson's?
SEAN
I'll take one.
CAL
Sure.
PADDY
None for me thanks.
KELLY
Be right back. (She heads to the bar).
CAL
Sean, that man is only out for himself.
SEAN
So, who isn't? What do you say Paddy? I can get you a meeting with him.
KELLY
Let me think about it Sean. We can talk business later (Kelly returns with the shots and hands one to Sean and Cal).
ALL
Slainte!
They do the shots as the THREE MEN move towards them.
1ST MAN (BILL)
Are you finished with the dartboard?
CAL
No, but you're welcome to play.
2ND MAN (FREDDY)
We don't play well with others.
SEAN
Well, piss off then
3RD MAN (JOE)
Come on Freddy, let's go.
FREDDY
Fine Joe; I mean, why would I want to take advantage of Mister Raspberry Ripple here anyways?
PADDY
What the fuck did you just say?
FREDDY
You heard me...
Paddy gets off his stool and takes a step towards Freddy. Kelly puts a hand on Paddy's shoulder, trying to keep him back.
CAL
It's not worth it Paddy.
BILL
Freddy, let's go...you know who he is don't you?
FRED
(Squints) Oh, if it isn't the famous Mr. Paddy O'Riada, sticking up for his friend! Aren't you the one who put him in that chair?
Paddy lunges forward but his friends hold him back.
JOE
Come on Fred--
FREDDY
We can take him!
BILL
We? You're off your rocker mate, let's go--
PADDY
You better listen to your friends before I do something you'll regret.
JOE
Sorry to disturb you; come on Fred.
PADDY
But before you drag this piece of shite back to the jacks he crawled out of; let me ask him something...
FREDDY
Go on then.
PADDY
(Grabs the dart that Cal has in his hand and offers it to Freddy) Would you take a dart for one of your mates?
FREDDY
What?
PADDY
You heard me. Would you take a dart for one of your mates? (He holds the dart under Freddy's nose. Freddy does not respond). That's what I thought. And that's the difference between you and me.
And with that, he plunges the dart directly into the middle of his heart tattoo.
KELLY
Jesus Christ Paddy!
FREDDY
You're off your bloody nut!
He runs out, just behind his friends who are already half-way through the door.
SEAN
Well, I hope you didn't hit anything vital, brother.
Paddy pulls the dart out and blood seeps through the clear wrap.
KELLY
Don't think I'm doing any free touch ups...
Paddy LAUGHS as the camera moves close to the tattoo.
DIZZOLVE
To the image of a heart, much like the one on Paddy's arm, on an anatomical chart on the wall of a doctor's exam room. The camera pulls back, revealing Henry sitting on the table. He's looking at a brochure entitled "You And Your Heart Health"
There is a soft KNOCK on the door and the doctor enters. He is DR. MELVIN STURGES, 50's. He sits in a chair and opens a medical file and adjusts his glasses. Henry folds the pamphlet and puts it in his back pocket.
DR. STURGES
Well Henry, everything looks very good. You're in excellent health. Your cholesterol is slightly elevated but it's really nothing of immediate concern...do you have any questions for me?
HENRY
Am I healthy enough to fight again?
DR. STURGES
Well Henry I can't recommend that. As you know, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy runs in your family. So far you haven't had much in the way of symptoms; but I did notice when I was examining you a palpatation...would you unbutton your shirt for me?
The doctor puts his stethoscope in his ears as Herny undoes his shirt. The doctor places the chest piece over Henry's heart.
DR. STURGES
There's one--
HENRY
Can I listen?
DR. STURGES
Sure...
Henry takes the stethoscope and listens to his own heart. After a few moments, he nods.
HENRY
Are you telling me it could kill me during a fight?
DR. STURGES
Henry, any blow to your chest--in your profession--could be fatal. Even for someone with no indication of heart disorder. It's called Commotio Cordis. It's essentially blunt trauma to the heart...
Henry nods again.
HENRY
Okay doc. Thanks.
DR. STURGES
You're welcome. (He heads to the door and turns). Henry...stay out of the ring.
Henry nods and buttons his shirt.
DR. STURGES
Well Henry, everything looks very good. You're in excellent health. Your cholesterol is slightly elevated but it's really nothing of immediate concern...do you have any questions for me?
HENRY
Am I healthy enough to fight again?
DR. STURGES
Well Henry I can't recommend that. As you know, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy runs in your family. So far you haven't had much in the way of symptoms; but I did notice when I was examining you a palpatation...would you unbutton your shirt for me?
The doctor puts his stethoscope in his ears as Herny undoes his shirt. The doctor places the chest piece over Henry's heart.
DR. STURGES
There's one--
HENRY
Can I listen?
DR. STURGES
Sure...
Henry takes the stethoscope and listens to his own heart. After a few moments, he nods.
HENRY
Are you telling me it could kill me during a fight?
DR. STURGES
Henry, any blow to your chest--in your profession--could be fatal. Even for someone with no indication of heart disorder. It's called Commotio Cordis. It's essentially blunt trauma to the heart...
Henry nods again.
HENRY
Okay doc. Thanks.
DR. STURGES
You're welcome. (He heads to the door and turns). Henry...stay out of the ring.
Henry nods and buttons his shirt.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM -DAY
Two women are sitting in chairs. One is absently thumbing through an old copy of Women's Day. This is DONNA O'SHAUGHNESSY, late 20's. Pretty, blonde, skittish. She puts down the magazine and starts rummaging through her purse. The woman next to her is MARY "GRAN" MURPHY, 70's. Appearing much younger than her actual age, she is, as the wiseman said "A Brick House." She is focused on her knitting, her needles flying a mile a minute as she simultaneously watches the TV mounted to the wall. She looks at her watch.
GRAN
Do they get my story on this thing?
DONNA
It says to not change the channel.
GRAN
Well, I'm missing my story. How many times are you going to go through your purse love?
DONNA
I swear to God I put my checkbook right in this pocket!
GRAN
Who uses checks anymore? Even I don't use checks--
DONNA
I don't like the idea of my information just flying around in the clouds, is that so wrong?
GRAN
It's "the cloud" love.
DONNA
Whatever. Where is he?
HENRY
I'm right here honey--
Henry steps around a corner and takes an empty seat.
DONNA
What took so long?
HENRY
It's a hospital Donna. They're not exactly known for being quick on the uptake.
DONNA
What about a 'code blue?'
HENRY
Well, there wasn't one. I guess we got lucky. (He kisses her cheek).
GRAN
(Loading up her knitting gear)
Let's get going then. I might be able to catch the end of my show.
She's already striding out the door.
DONNA
Her and that goddamn soap opera!
SEAN
You watch it too, honey.
DONNA
Well, she got me hooked!
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM -DAY
Two women are sitting in chairs. One is absently thumbing through an old copy of Women's Day. This is DONNA O'SHAUGHNESSY, late 20's. Pretty, blonde, skittish. She puts down the magazine and starts rummaging through her purse. The woman next to her is MARY "GRAN" MURPHY, 70's. Appearing much younger than her actual age, she is, as the wiseman said "A Brick House." She is focused on her knitting, her needles flying a mile a minute as she simultaneously watches the TV mounted to the wall. She looks at her watch.
GRAN
Do they get my story on this thing?
DONNA
It says to not change the channel.
GRAN
Well, I'm missing my story. How many times are you going to go through your purse love?
DONNA
I swear to God I put my checkbook right in this pocket!
GRAN
Who uses checks anymore? Even I don't use checks--
DONNA
I don't like the idea of my information just flying around in the clouds, is that so wrong?
GRAN
It's "the cloud" love.
DONNA
Whatever. Where is he?
HENRY
I'm right here honey--
Henry steps around a corner and takes an empty seat.
DONNA
What took so long?
HENRY
It's a hospital Donna. They're not exactly known for being quick on the uptake.
DONNA
What about a 'code blue?'
HENRY
Well, there wasn't one. I guess we got lucky. (He kisses her cheek).
GRAN
(Loading up her knitting gear)
Let's get going then. I might be able to catch the end of my show.
She's already striding out the door.
DONNA
Her and that goddamn soap opera!
SEAN
You watch it too, honey.
DONNA
Well, she got me hooked!
INT. CAR -DAY
Donna, wearing glasses, is driving and Henry is in the passenger seat. Gran is in the back, once again knitting.
GRAN
So what did that quack have to say?
HENRY
He's not a 'quack' Gran...
GRAN
They're all quacks. If I had a nickel for every time they told your grandfather he had 'nothing to worry about'! Heart specialist this, cardiovascular genius there. Ha!
DONNA
Didn't he die of cirrhosis of the liver?
GRAN
Those bastards drove him to drink, with all that worry over his heart!
DONNA
But I thought he had nothing to worry--
GRAN
They killed your grandfather Henry--
HENRY
Could we drop it?
DONNA
Well what did the doctor say?
HENRY
My cholesterol is up a little, that's all.
GRAN
'Cholesterol'! It's all made up, I say. They just want to keep you sick for the all mighty dollar.
HENRY
Donna, you missed the turn--
DONNA
I need to stop at the drug store--
HENRY
For what?
DONNA
Red yeast rice. Stacey at the club told me it helps lower cholesterol.
HENRY
(Laughs) Oh, is she a doctor now?
DONNA
She's highly schooled in Eastern medicine!
HENRY
Well, she's 'high' anyways--
GRAN
I've heard garlic can help too, love. Get some of that while you're in there--
Henry sighs, chuckles, and sinks down in his seat.
Donna, wearing glasses, is driving and Henry is in the passenger seat. Gran is in the back, once again knitting.
GRAN
So what did that quack have to say?
HENRY
He's not a 'quack' Gran...
GRAN
They're all quacks. If I had a nickel for every time they told your grandfather he had 'nothing to worry about'! Heart specialist this, cardiovascular genius there. Ha!
DONNA
Didn't he die of cirrhosis of the liver?
GRAN
Those bastards drove him to drink, with all that worry over his heart!
DONNA
But I thought he had nothing to worry--
GRAN
They killed your grandfather Henry--
HENRY
Could we drop it?
DONNA
Well what did the doctor say?
HENRY
My cholesterol is up a little, that's all.
GRAN
'Cholesterol'! It's all made up, I say. They just want to keep you sick for the all mighty dollar.
HENRY
Donna, you missed the turn--
DONNA
I need to stop at the drug store--
HENRY
For what?
DONNA
Red yeast rice. Stacey at the club told me it helps lower cholesterol.
HENRY
(Laughs) Oh, is she a doctor now?
DONNA
She's highly schooled in Eastern medicine!
HENRY
Well, she's 'high' anyways--
GRAN
I've heard garlic can help too, love. Get some of that while you're in there--
Henry sighs, chuckles, and sinks down in his seat.
CUT TO:
INT. GRAN'S HOUSE -DAY
Danny is sprawled on the couch watching General Hospital on the TV. "The Nurse's Ball" is in progress. On the screen we see a group of nurses doing a Rockette's style kick line. Gran hurriedly enters the room, sweeps Danny's legs of the couch, and settles in.
GRAN:
What did I miss?
DANNY
Not much. It's the Nurse's ball...Anna, Felicia, Scorpio and Mack just did a number to "The Spy Who Loved Me"...I think the male nurse striptease is coming up though...
GRAN
Now why would I care about that?
DANNY
(Laughs. Holds up a fighting magazine with Paddy's picture on it) Gran, how do you pronounce this last name?
GRAN
(Peering at magazine) O'Riada
DANNY
Like the tater-tots?
GRAN
That's 'Or-Idah,' you fool. 'Oh-ree-ah-dah!"
HENRY
(Entering the room) Danny, can I talk to you a minute?
DANNY
Sure Hank, right after--
HENRY
Now Danny.
DANNY
All right.
Danny senses Henry's urgency and gets up. The two brothers exit out the back door as Donna enters the room and sits in a rocking chair.
GRAN
The boys are about to lose their scrubs.
Donna glances out the window and watches as Danny follows Henry into a somewhat rundown travel trailer. She glances back at the TV.
INT. GRAN'S HOUSE -DAY
Danny is sprawled on the couch watching General Hospital on the TV. "The Nurse's Ball" is in progress. On the screen we see a group of nurses doing a Rockette's style kick line. Gran hurriedly enters the room, sweeps Danny's legs of the couch, and settles in.
GRAN:
What did I miss?
DANNY
Not much. It's the Nurse's ball...Anna, Felicia, Scorpio and Mack just did a number to "The Spy Who Loved Me"...I think the male nurse striptease is coming up though...
GRAN
Now why would I care about that?
DANNY
(Laughs. Holds up a fighting magazine with Paddy's picture on it) Gran, how do you pronounce this last name?
GRAN
(Peering at magazine) O'Riada
DANNY
Like the tater-tots?
GRAN
That's 'Or-Idah,' you fool. 'Oh-ree-ah-dah!"
HENRY
(Entering the room) Danny, can I talk to you a minute?
DANNY
Sure Hank, right after--
HENRY
Now Danny.
DANNY
All right.
Danny senses Henry's urgency and gets up. The two brothers exit out the back door as Donna enters the room and sits in a rocking chair.
GRAN
The boys are about to lose their scrubs.
Donna glances out the window and watches as Danny follows Henry into a somewhat rundown travel trailer. She glances back at the TV.
CUT TO
INT. TRAILER -DAY
Danny sits at the table as Henry pops open a beer.
HENRY
You want one?
DANNY
Does Bambi shit in the woods? (Henry opens a beer for Danny and sits across the table from him) You look so serious Henry...did you get bad news from the doctor?
HENRY
Well, it wasn't exactly good.
DANNY
Tell me for crissakes!
HERNY
I've got a heart murmur.
DANNY
No shit. You've always had a heart murmur. Just like Da and grand-dad.
HENRY
It's gotten worse. I had two within five minutes at the doc's.
DANNY
So...I get them too you know. There's 'innocent' and 'abnormal'--
HENRY
I know all that--
DANNY
Well then, what are you worried about?
HENRY
I'm worried that you're right.
DANNY
Right about what?
HENRY
Fighting.
DANNY
I knew it! So you do want to get back into it!
HENRY
If I'm gonna die, I might as well go out doing what I love--
DANNY
What you were meant to do! And you're not going to die.
HENRY
We're all going to die.
DANNY
You know what I meant.
HENRY
I'm gonna have to train with someone good.
DANNY
I know someone--
HERNRY
No; better than good. The best.
DANNY
I have a connection Hank; and this man is a wizard! I mean like a real wizard--(Donna pushes the door open. Has she been eavesdropping?)
DONNA
Who's a wizard?
DANNY
A friend of mine...
DONNA
What's he a wizard at?
DANNY
...Wrought iron...
DONNA
(Nodding her head slowly) Uhhh-huhhh...
INT. TRAILER -DAY
Danny sits at the table as Henry pops open a beer.
HENRY
You want one?
DANNY
Does Bambi shit in the woods? (Henry opens a beer for Danny and sits across the table from him) You look so serious Henry...did you get bad news from the doctor?
HENRY
Well, it wasn't exactly good.
DANNY
Tell me for crissakes!
HERNY
I've got a heart murmur.
DANNY
No shit. You've always had a heart murmur. Just like Da and grand-dad.
HENRY
It's gotten worse. I had two within five minutes at the doc's.
DANNY
So...I get them too you know. There's 'innocent' and 'abnormal'--
HENRY
I know all that--
DANNY
Well then, what are you worried about?
HENRY
I'm worried that you're right.
DANNY
Right about what?
HENRY
Fighting.
DANNY
I knew it! So you do want to get back into it!
HENRY
If I'm gonna die, I might as well go out doing what I love--
DANNY
What you were meant to do! And you're not going to die.
HENRY
We're all going to die.
DANNY
You know what I meant.
HENRY
I'm gonna have to train with someone good.
DANNY
I know someone--
HERNRY
No; better than good. The best.
DANNY
I have a connection Hank; and this man is a wizard! I mean like a real wizard--(Donna pushes the door open. Has she been eavesdropping?)
DONNA
Who's a wizard?
DANNY
A friend of mine...
DONNA
What's he a wizard at?
DANNY
...Wrought iron...
DONNA
(Nodding her head slowly) Uhhh-huhhh...
DONNA
...and why are you drinking at three in the afternoon?
DANNY
It's five o'clock some--
HENRY
We're celebrating.
DONNA
Celebrating what?
HENRY
I'm getting back to business...
DONNA
Business, as in...
HENRY
Well, I'm not talking about making antique nails, honey. So--
DONNA
(Exploding) I KNEW IT! (She stands and starts pacing the small space) I KNEW IT! (She picks up the nearest thing, which is a cast iron trivet and holds it above her head. Danny leaps up and is out the door faster than you can say "say") Yeah, you BETTER run! (She hesitates and instead of throwing it at Henry, she throws it at the door where it tears through the screen). I knew. I somehow just today, knew it. You with the 'baby' this and the 'honeys' and the 'sweethearts'! I'm so stupid!
HENRY
Hear me out.
DONNA
Hear me out? HEAR ME OUT? No, you hear me OUT; because I'm the one that's out!
She barrels out of the trailer. Henry stands and follows her.
...and why are you drinking at three in the afternoon?
DANNY
It's five o'clock some--
HENRY
We're celebrating.
DONNA
Celebrating what?
HENRY
I'm getting back to business...
DONNA
Business, as in...
HENRY
Well, I'm not talking about making antique nails, honey. So--
DONNA
(Exploding) I KNEW IT! (She stands and starts pacing the small space) I KNEW IT! (She picks up the nearest thing, which is a cast iron trivet and holds it above her head. Danny leaps up and is out the door faster than you can say "say") Yeah, you BETTER run! (She hesitates and instead of throwing it at Henry, she throws it at the door where it tears through the screen). I knew. I somehow just today, knew it. You with the 'baby' this and the 'honeys' and the 'sweethearts'! I'm so stupid!
HENRY
Hear me out.
DONNA
Hear me out? HEAR ME OUT? No, you hear me OUT; because I'm the one that's out!
She barrels out of the trailer. Henry stands and follows her.
CUT TO:
INT. GRAN'S LIVING ROOM -DAY
Donna tromps into the room and picks up the remote control.
GRAN
(Holding it up) I found your checkbook dear it was on the kitchen--
DONNA
(Killing the TV with the clicker) Do you know what your goddamn grandsons are up to?
GRAN
No good, I'm sure. And would you give me my clicker back? My story's not over--
DONNA
Well mine is!
DANNY
(From kitchen) V/O: Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
DONNA
I swear to God Danny I will kick your ass in!
GRAN
All right. Enough. Now what's all this about? (She continues knitting, her hands flying like a hummingbird. Henry steps into the room and leans against the stair railing).
HENRY
I'm gonna fight again...
DONNA
He's gonna fight again!
GRAN
(Rolling her eyes) Fight who?
DANNY
(Peeking in from the kitchen) Paddy Ore-Ida!
GRAN
I told you it's O-ree-ada...
DANNY
Gran--
GRAN
(To Danny) Not another word out of you. Is this true Henry? I've heard he's...decapacitated several of his opponents.
DONNA
What? Oh my God!
HENRY
It's part of the reality of it Gran. It happens.
GRAN
And what about your cholesterol?
HENRY
It is what it is.
DONNA
I hate that fucking expression! Listen Henry, if you want to fight again, fine. It's what you're good at. I don't want to hold you back. I just don't like being lied too!
HENRY
I never lied to you!
DONNA
You kept if from me! It's the same goddamn thing! We'll talk more about this later; I'm late for work--
GRAN
There! Finished! (Gran holds up what she's been working on: a bikini top; then, to Donna) You can wear this tonight love.
DONNA
You people are crazy! I can't wear a bikini made out of yarn!
GRAN
Well...why not then?
DONNA
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ITCHY TITS!
She elbows Henry on her way up the stairs, leaving the other three in silence. Gran holds the top up to her chest, considering.
DANNY
It suits you Gran.
She considers, sighs and we fade to black.
INT. GRAN'S LIVING ROOM -DAY
Donna tromps into the room and picks up the remote control.
GRAN
(Holding it up) I found your checkbook dear it was on the kitchen--
DONNA
(Killing the TV with the clicker) Do you know what your goddamn grandsons are up to?
GRAN
No good, I'm sure. And would you give me my clicker back? My story's not over--
DONNA
Well mine is!
DANNY
(From kitchen) V/O: Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
DONNA
I swear to God Danny I will kick your ass in!
GRAN
All right. Enough. Now what's all this about? (She continues knitting, her hands flying like a hummingbird. Henry steps into the room and leans against the stair railing).
HENRY
I'm gonna fight again...
DONNA
He's gonna fight again!
GRAN
(Rolling her eyes) Fight who?
DANNY
(Peeking in from the kitchen) Paddy Ore-Ida!
GRAN
I told you it's O-ree-ada...
DANNY
Gran--
GRAN
(To Danny) Not another word out of you. Is this true Henry? I've heard he's...decapacitated several of his opponents.
DONNA
What? Oh my God!
HENRY
It's part of the reality of it Gran. It happens.
GRAN
And what about your cholesterol?
HENRY
It is what it is.
DONNA
I hate that fucking expression! Listen Henry, if you want to fight again, fine. It's what you're good at. I don't want to hold you back. I just don't like being lied too!
HENRY
I never lied to you!
DONNA
You kept if from me! It's the same goddamn thing! We'll talk more about this later; I'm late for work--
GRAN
There! Finished! (Gran holds up what she's been working on: a bikini top; then, to Donna) You can wear this tonight love.
DONNA
You people are crazy! I can't wear a bikini made out of yarn!
GRAN
Well...why not then?
DONNA
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT ITCHY TITS!
She elbows Henry on her way up the stairs, leaving the other three in silence. Gran holds the top up to her chest, considering.
DANNY
It suits you Gran.
She considers, sighs and we fade to black.
End of Act 1
So, there you have it! I am going to type this into proper script format and then I will repost that in a separate blog; or perhaps here. As I'm doing that, I can ponder where this is going in Act 2. I may even start doing it simultaneously. So, keep checking back! Ciao! And ciao to 2022! Bon Voyagee!
CFR 12/31/22
So, there you have it! I am going to type this into proper script format and then I will repost that in a separate blog; or perhaps here. As I'm doing that, I can ponder where this is going in Act 2. I may even start doing it simultaneously. So, keep checking back! Ciao! And ciao to 2022! Bon Voyagee!
CFR 12/31/22
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