When Diana Vreeland was the editor of Harper's Bazaar, she had a column (of advice, I suppose) entitled "Why Don't You?" Her queries were entirely ridiculous; but I suppose that was the point. Here's a good one: "Why don't you wash your blonde child's hair with dead champagne, to keep it gold, as they do in France?"
Really down to earth.
So, since Ms. Vreeland is no longer with us, I have no qualms about ripping her off. However, I'm just going to steal the "Why don't" part. Putting the "you" pronoun, I think is a bit limiting. But my first entry will be a "you" one.
Here we go...
Why don't you put some gold leaf on your nipples and go to the grocers; purchase a turnip, return home, cook and mash the vegetable and involve it in a sitz bath?
Really down to earth.
So, since Ms. Vreeland is no longer with us, I have no qualms about ripping her off. However, I'm just going to steal the "Why don't" part. Putting the "you" pronoun, I think is a bit limiting. But my first entry will be a "you" one.
Here we go...
Why don't you put some gold leaf on your nipples and go to the grocers; purchase a turnip, return home, cook and mash the vegetable and involve it in a sitz bath?
Well, why don't you?